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Gorgeous Frog vs. The Easter Bunny

Wormwood Forest

Gorgeous Frog vs. The Easter Bunny

Apr 16 1949



CAST:

ANNOUNCER

DIPPY DWARF

FRANKIE FROG

SWINDLER Q. FOX, sly

SUSIE SKUNK, sweet

KITTY CAT, catty

RADIO ANNCR (2 lines)

HEDDA HEDGEHOG (3 lines)

DUMBCLUCK WOODCHUCK

GERALD GRASSHOPPER

THE EASTER BUNNY, dithery and delicate (3 lines)

BARBARA Q. PIG (2 lines)




SOUND: ROOSTER CROWS!


DIPPY: Oh, boy! Another day in Wormwood Forest!


MUSIC: THEME ... THEN IN BG


ANNOUNCER: Hello, boys and girls! Once again it's time for another visit with our friends down in Wormwood Forest! 


FRANKIE: (SINGS)

Hey, hey, don't run away;

Listen awhile, you'll want to stay. 

There's always lots of fun 

Down in Wormwood Forest!


DIPPY: Hello, everybody! This is Dippy Dwarf. Today Frankie Frog gets a phone call that sends him hopping!


FRANKIE: (SINGS)

So don't leave your radio.

Listen to our animal show. 

There's always lots of fun 

Down in Wormwood Forest!


MUSIC: UP AND OUT


SOUND: PHONE RINGS


FRANKIE: The phone's ringin', Dippy. Shall I answer it?


DIPPY: You might as well, Frankie Frog. It's probably for you anyway.


FRANKIE: Okay, kiddo. 


SOUND: RECEIVER UP 


FRANKIE: (INTO PHONE) Hello, the Dwarf Waldorf. -- You want to speak to Gorgeous Frog? Yeah, just a minute. (TO DIPPY) It's for Gorgeous Frog.


DIPPY: That's you, Frankie. 


FRANKIE: Me? Hey - hey, that's right. I forgot about my wrestlin' name! (INTO PHONE) Er, hello? Gorgeous Frog, the newest thing in the wrestling ring, speaking. -- Oh, hiya, Fox. What? -- Oh, sure thing. I'll be right over. (CHUCKLES) Goodbye.


SOUND: RECEIVER DOWN


DIPPY: Hey, what's up, Gorgeous? 


FRANKIE: It's my manager, Swindler Q. Fox. He wants me to come over to the Pig's Hotel right away. 


DIPPY: Going to wrestle in the lobby of the Hominy Plaza?


FRANKIE: No, no. Fox is living over there. He wants to make arrangements for my first wrestling match.


DIPPY: Well, here, I'll open the door for you.


SOUND: DOOR OPENS


DIPPY: Certainly hate to see ya goooooo!


FRANKIE: You don't have to push me, I'm goin'. 


SOUND: DOOR CLOSES


FRANKIE: (TO HIMSELF) Sure glad the Pig's Hotel is just across the road. 


MUSIC: TRANSITION


FRANKIE: (TO HIMSELF) Shall I knock -- or does one knock on the door of a hotel? Eh, I'll just go in.


SOUND: HOTEL DOOR OPENS ... THEN CLOSES BEHIND--


FOX: Ah! There you are, Frog.


FRANKIE: Hiya, Fox. What's up?


FOX: Do you know what tomorrow is? 


FRANKIE: Er, tomorrow? Fourth of July? Christmas? My birthday? Er, uh--


FOX: To save time, I'll tell you. It's Easter. 


FRANKIE: Easter? Easter Eggs! Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy! 


FOX: Ahhh, what a marvelous idea for your first wrestling match!


FRANKIE: You've really got an opponent all lined up for me?


FOX: Yes! The Easter Bunny. 


FRANKIE: The Easter Bunny?! But-but-but if I beat him, everyone will hate me. 


FOX: Of course. You'll become a perfect villain! (CHUCKLES)


FRANKIE: But I don't want to be a villain. I want to be Gorgeous Frog.


FOX: I'm your manager, Frog. You'll wrestle whomever I say. 


FRANKIE: (DEJECTED) Oh, me. 


FOX: Now, Gorgeous Frog, you must get a suitable robe to wear as you make your appearance in the ring.


FRANKIE: Er, what kind of robe? 


FOX: One that will please the ladies. I suggest you get Kitty to help you select it.


FRANKIE: Okay, but, er, how do I pay for it? 


FOX: Just charge it to the Pig. 


FRANKIE: Barbara Q. Pig? But will she like that? 


FOX: What does it matter? I sold her a quarter interest in you and that means she has to pay all of your expenses that amount to over a quarter. 


FRANKIE: Well then, what am I waiting for? If the Pig pays, then Gorgeous Frog will buy and buy and buy. Bye-bye! 


MUSIC: TRANSITION


FRANKIE: (TO HIMSELF) Well, here's the old Badger residence. Susie Skunk and Kitty were going shopping today. 


SOUND: FRANKIE RINGS DOORBELL 


FRANKIE: (TO HIMSELF) Gee whiz, I hope they haven't gone already. 


SOUND: DOOR OPENS


SUSIE: If you're working your way through millinery school by selling bebop caps, I-- Oh, hello, Frankie Frog! 


FRANKIE: Hiya, Susie Skunk. And the name is Gorgeous Frog, remember?


SUSIE: Oh, yes -- the famous rag-and-bone artist.


FRANKIE: Er, that's grunt-and-groan artist.


SUSIE: Well, what does it matter? I haven't waxed the floors lately anyway. Won't you come in?


FRANKIE: I sure will.


SOUND: DOOR CLOSES 


FRANKIE: Is Kitty here?


SUSIE: Oh, yes -- she's in the parlor. (CALLS) Kitty? Look who's here!


KITTY: A frog, as I live and breathe! 


FRANKIE: Hiya, Kitty baby. It's your dream frog, Gorgeous.


KITTY: Oh, rrreow. Am I really gorgeous today? 


FRANKIE: I didn't mean you. I mean me. I'm Gorgeous. 


KITTY: (INSULTED) Oh, so you think you're more gorgeous than I am! Rrrrow!


FRANKIE: I didn't say that, Kitty. 


KITTY: Oh, yes, you did, didn't he, Susie? 


SUSIE: Please. Subtract me from this figuring. I'm neutral.


FRANKIE: (NERVOUS) Hey, hey, Kitty! Here, put down that vase! 


KITTY: I'll put it down on the top of your conceited head! Rrreeow!


SOUND: CRASH! KITTY SMASHES VASE OVER FRANKIE'S HEAD


FRANKIE: (IN PAIN) Oh - oh - oh! My frog head!


SUSIE: Oh, my goodness! You smashed it, Kitty!


KITTY: It was Frankie's fault. His head shouldn't be so hard. 


FRANKIE: That's it -- put all the blame on Gorgeous Frog. 


KITTY: There! You said it again! Rrreow!


SUSIE: Oh, Kitty! That's my priceless antique pitcher!


FRANKIE: Kitty, put that pitcher down!


KITTY: I'll put it down on your-- [?] Rreow!


FRANKIE: No, no!


SOUND: CRASH! KITTY SMASHES PITCHER OVER FRANKIE'S HEAD


FRANKIE: My frog head! Oh, why don't I keep my big frog mouth shut? 


SUSIE: Kitty, please don't smash anything else! It's time for my favorite radio program now. 


KITTY: Oh. "Ma Possum"? 


FRANKIE: Or, uh, "Sadie Snake, Girl Reptile"?


KITTY: Or "Lolly, Baby Lobster"?


SUSIE: No. Here, I'll turn on the radio and you'll hear for youself.


SOUND: CLICK! OF RADIO SWITCHED ON


SUSIE: There.


MUSIC: FIRST TWO NOTES OF NBC CHIMES FOLLOWED BY SOME CRITTER'S OUTBURST


ANNCR: (VERY DIGNIFIED) Once again it is the pleasure of the Pine Tree Broadcasting Company to present Hedda Hedgehog in "Homemaking Can Be Charming," with Ethelbert Bobolink at the organ. 


MUSIC: ORGAN ... MENDELSSOHN'S SPRING SONG ... OUT BEHIND HEDDA--


SOUND: DURING ABOVE, BIRDS CHIRP BRIEFLY


HEDDA: Hello, girls! Homemaking can be charming -- and I'm here to prove it! Only yesterday a weasel said to me, "Hedda Hedgehog, everything you do is charming. You must lead a charmed life." And I do, girls. Oh, I do! Only yesterday I discovered a marvelous new recipe for pickled strawberries. You'll just love it, girls! You'll just love Mr. Announcer, oooh!


ANNCR: Hedda dear, here's a request from a listener in Hazelnut Hollow -- to read the poem you always read in April. 


HEDDA: Oh, yes, the po-em.


MUSIC: ORGAN ... MENDELSSOHN'S SPRING SONG ... IN BG


HEDDA: It's called: "Home Thoughts from a Bird." Po-em:

(RECITES)

Oh, to be in Wormwood now that April's here. 

Oh, to munch the crunchy lunch

And drink the fresh root beer. 

For when April comes, a bird longs for home

And so do bears, 

And long-eared hares,

And April showers.

(TO THE ORGANIST) Music, Ethelbert.


MUSIC: ORGAN UP ... THEN OUT ABRUPTLY WITH--


SOUND: CLICK! OF RADIO SWITCHED OFF


SUSIE: That's all for today.


FRANKIE: That's enough.


SUSIE: Hedda Hedgehog is so inspiring; so charming.


KITTY: Personally I can take her or leave her. And speaking of leaving, Sue-- 


SUSIE: Oh, it is time to leave if we hope to do any shopping.


FRANKIE: Yeah, but before you go, I've gotta talk to you. 


SUSIE: Who? Me? 


FRANKIE: No. Kitty.


KITTY: I refuse to talk to anyone who thinks he's more gorgeous than I am! Rreow! 


FRANKIE: But, Kitty baby, that's my wrestling name: Gorgeous Frog. 


KITTY: (SUDDENLY PURRING SWEETLY) Ohhhh. So it is.


FRANKIE: Now will you listen please, pretty Kitty?


KITTY: Well, do you think we have time, Susie?


SUSIE: If he'll talk fast. 


FRANKIE: Oh, I'm a fast talker. (RAPID, ALMOST INCOMPREHENSIBLE) It's this way, Kitty baby. Swindler Q. Fox, my manager, said I need a fancy robe to impress people to fight in the ring and he thinks you're the one to help me select it.


KITTY: Hold on, frog! That's too fast.


FRANKIE: Er, you said to talk fast.


SUSIE: We didn't mean for you to talk in shorthand, Frankie. 


FRANKIE: Yeah. Well, what I said was: my manager, the Fox, wants me to buy a fancy robe to wear into the ring and he said Kitty would be a good one to help me select it. 


KITTY: Rreow! Good! You can come along with Susie and me while we select our Easter outfits. 


SUSIE: Oh, I can hardly wait to pick out my Easter bonnet. 


KITTY: Nor can I. (CONTEMPLATIVE) An Easter bonnet that will bring out the white of my fur -- and the blue of my eyes. Rreow!


FRANKIE: Yeah, I can see ya now, Kitty.


MUSIC: IRVING BERLIN'S "EASTER PARADE" ... ORGAN ACCOMPANIES FRANKIE--


FRANKIE: (SINGS) In your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it-- 


KITTY: Rreow!


FRANKIE: (SINGS) You'll be the grandest kitty in the Easter parade.


KITTY: Rreow.


FRANKIE: (SINGS) 

On the avenue, 

Wormwood Avenue,

The photographers will snap you 

And you'll find that you're 

In the rotogravure.

Oh, I could write a sonnet about your Easter bonnet 

For you'll be the grandest kitty in the Easter parade.


MUSIC: ORGAN UP FOR THE SONG'S ENDING, WHICH DOUBLES AS A TRANSITION


SUSIE: Kitty, have you selected a bonnet yet?


KITTY: No, Sue. There's so many fetching styles that I just can't decide.


FRANKIE: I wish you two would hurry up and make up your minds. I've gotta pick out a robe.


KITTY: Quiet, frog! Oh, Sue, that's a demure little hat you're holding. 


SUSIE: Yes, I rather like this one. (CALLS) Oh, clerk? Yoo-hoo? Clerk?


CHUCK: Did you call me, madam? (SURPRISED, AFFECTIONATE) Oh, Susie Skunky, my sweetie!


SUSIE: (THE SAME) Dumbcluck, my woodchucky! Are you clerking?


CHUCK: (SADLY) Yes. Circumstances have forced me into selling hats here.


SUSIE: Then give me your opinion, Chucky. Do you think this bonnet is becoming? 


CHUCK: Do I?! Why, Susie-- (SINGS) In that Easter bonnet--


FRANKIE: Er, uh, uh, Woodchuck--? 


CHUCK: (SINGS) --with all the--


FRANKIE: Uh, Woodchuck? I've already sung that song.


CHUCK: Oh, mercy me. This is embarrassing.


SUSIE: Why, Chucky? 


CHUCK: I don't know any other song about Easter bonnets.


SUSIE: What about "Put On Your Easter Bonnet With All the Frills Upon It"? 


CHUCK: Why, yes, I could sing that one.


KITTY: (LOW) Rreow! Frankie?


FRANKIE: (LOW) Yeah, Kitty baby? 


KITTY: This would be a good time to select your robe. 


FRANKIE: I know exactly what you mean, Kittikins. 


SUSIE: Chucky, this bonnet is the right color for me, don't you think?


CHUCK: Indubitably, Sue. It does things for your ears.


SOUND: SCENE FADES OUT ... TRANSITIONAL PAUSE ... SCENE FADES IN 


KITTY: The bathrobe department's over this way, frog.


FRANKIE: I wish you'd call me Gorgeous.


KITTY: I refuse to call you Gorgeous even if it is your wrestling name! 


FRANKIE: I don't see what's wrong with callin' anyone gorgeous. 


KITTY: Rreow, nothing's wrong with it. You may call me gorgeous anytime you like, rreow. 


FRANKIE: Here are the bathrobes. 


KITTY: Where's the clerk? (CALLS) Hey, clerk, we want some service here! 


GERALD: Did someone call me?


(SIMULTANEOUSLY) 

KITTY: It's Gerald Grasshopper!

FRANKIE: Hey, Gerald Grasshopper!


GERALD: Hi. Interested in gentlemen's bathrobes? 


FRANKIE: Yep. I want one to use in my wrestlin' profession. 


GERALD: Oh, a wrestler, huh?


KITTY: Yes, grasshopper. Any suggestions for a wrestler's robe? 


GERALD: Well, most wrestlers wear a robe that fits their name. What's your professional name, Frankie?


FRANKIE: Gah, Gorgeous Frog.


GERALD: (THOUGHTFUL) Gorgeous Frog, huh? Well, that calls for a robe embroidered with cheap imitation jewels and rhinestones and, uh, gold braid. 


FRANKIE: It does?


KITTY: (UNKINDLY) Come to think of it, Frankie, that's exactly the kind of a robe you should have. 


FRANKIE: Well, if you say so, I'll buy it. Er, where is it? 


GERALD: Well, naturally, we don't sell robes like that.


FRANKIE: You don't? 


GERALD: Nope. Have to have it made up special.


KITTY: Can it be made here in this store, Gerald? 


GERALD: Sure it can. Take the elevator to the fifth floor. 


FRANKIE: (JOKING) Okay, I'll take the elevator to the fifth floor; I'm strong now that I'm a wrestler, grasshopper. 


GERALD: (UNAMUSED) Gorgeous Frog, you're as funny as a soft-boiled Easter egg. (SPITS)


SOUND: DING! BELL RINGS AS SPIT HITS THE SPITTOON


KITTY: (ANNOYED) And, grasshopper, you're as-- Oh, I won't say it; I'm a kitty. (GRANDLY, TO FRANKIE) Come, frog! To the elevator!


MUSIC: TRANSITION


SOUND: ELEVATOR BUZZER BUZZES A FEW TIMES


KITTY: Frankie, I can't understand it. We've been pushing the elevator button for ten minutes and still no elevator. 


FRANKIE: Guess we'll have to walk up to the fifth floor.


KITTY: Oh, wait, the light flashed on.


SOUND: ELEVATOR ARRIVES AND DOOR SLIDES OPEN


FRANKIE: Hey, an elevator! 


TIMOTHY: Going up!


KITTY: (SHE MIGHT HAVE KNOWN) Timothy Turtle!


FRANKIE: Oh, no wonder the service is so slow. 


TIMOTHY: (UP BIG) Hi, Frankie! (SHYLY) Hi, Kitty. 


KITTY: (IMPATIENT) Fifth floor, please, turtle.


TIMOTHY: Okay! Watch your step! 


SOUND: ELEVATOR DOOR SLIDES SHUT ... HUM OF RISING ELEVATOR IN BG


TIMOTHY: Second floor! Ladies' shower curtains, gentlemen's after-shave lotion! 


FRANKIE: Tim, why were you so long in answering the elevator call?


TIMOTHY: I went to sleep in the basement. (YAWNS, SLEEPILY) Always get sleepy ridin' up and down. (SUDDENLY UP) Third floor! Ladies blankets, children's coats, vests, and linoleum!


KITTY: (ANNOYED) We don't want the third floor. 


TIMOTHY: (POLITE) Oh, that's quite all right. (UP BIG) Fourth floor! Linens, curtains, furniture, and buttonholes! 


FRANKIE: We want off at the fifth floor. 


TIMOTHY: Nothin' on the fifth floor but the tailorin' department.


KITTY: That's where we want to go.


FRANKIE: I'm going to have my wrestlin' robe made there. 


TIMOTHY: You are?! Who ya gonna wrestle, Frankie?


FRANKIE: (CONFIDENTIALLY) Er, Tim, don't tell anybody, but I'm gonna wrestle the Easter Bunny. 


TIMOTHY: You are?! Hey, he's quite a character. Such big ears! 


FRANKIE: Hey, you don't say? Big, huh?


TIMOTHY: Yeah, I'll betcha. He could take his own ears and--


FRANKIE: Hey, turtle, how do you know? Have you seen the Easter Bunny? 


TIMOTHY: Sure. He's on the fifth floor right now.


FRANKIE: (NERVOUS) Kitty, let's go down. 


KITTY: Frog, stop trembling.


TIMOTHY: (UP BIG) Fifth floor! Tailorin' department!


SOUND: ELEVATOR STOPS ... DOOR SLIDES OPEN


KITTY: (IMPATIENT) Come on out of the elevator, Frankie.


FRANKIE: But, Kitty-- 


TIMOTHY: Going down! 


FRANKIE: Hey, hey, Tim, don't go down!


SOUND: ELEVATOR DOOR SLIDES SHUT


FRANKIE: (DISMAYED) Oh, me shuckin's. I'm stuck up here on the fifth floor.


KITTY: Oh, don't be so namby-pamby. You can meet the Easter Bunny and size him up. 


FRANKIE: But if he's big and strong, how will I ever win a wrestling match with him?


BUNNY: (APPROACHES, MUMBLING TO HIMSELF) Excuse me, do you have the time? 


FRANKIE: Sure, rabbit, it's almost lunchtime.


BUNNY: Great jumping jelly beans! I must get back to my eggs and finish painting them.


KITTY: Little rabbit, are you helping the Easter Bunny?


BUNNY: Helping him? Why, I am the Easter Bunny! Bye now. (DEPARTS, MUMBLING TO HIMSELF)


FRANKIE: Kitty, you mean to say that's the Easter Bunny? 


KITTY: Must be.


FRANKIE: Heh! And I was worried about wrestling-- Oh, that little shrimp.


KITTY: See, frog? Your worries are silly. He'll be a pushover


FRANKIE: You said it, Kit. Come on, let's see about my robe. (DISMISSIVE) Easter Bunny! Heh! What an opponent.


MUSIC: TRANSITION ... QUOTES "EASTER PARADE"


FRANKIE: Hey, Swindler Q. Fox, Dippy said you wanted to see me about something important.


FOX: Yes, frog. It's about your first wrestling match. 


FRANKIE: Oh, it'll be a cinch, Fox. That Easter Bunny's a fluffy little thing.


FOX: You're not going to fight the Easter Bunny.


FRANKIE: Oh, but he'd be a pushover. 


FOX: He's much too busy to wrestle anything but Easter eggs.


FRANKIE: Then I don't have a match?


FOX: What kind of manager do you think I am, Gorgeous?


FRANKIE: Oh, then you've arranged another fight for me? 


FOX: But of course. You're going to meet one of the finest wrestlers in the woods.


FRANKIE: Who is it?


FOX: None other than Big Boy Bear, the Bonecrusher. 


FRANKIE: Big Boy Bear?! Ohhh, no!


SOUND: THUMP-THUMP! AS FRANKIE FALLS TO THE FLOOR


FOX: He passed out. Too bad. 


PIG: Fox, did the frog faint?


FOX: Yes, Barbara Q. Pig.


PIG: Aren't you going to revive him?


FOX: There's no rush. The fight isn't until next week. And as long as he's unconscious he won't be worrying about meeting Big Boy. (CHUCKLES) And that, my dear, is the bare fact! (CHUCKLES) 


MUSIC: THEME ... IN AND IN BG


ANNOUNCER: Bare fact indeed! A wrestling match between a bear and a frog is something none of us should miss -- down in Wormwood Forest.


FRANKIE: (SINGS)

Hey, hey, that's all today. 

We're so glad that you could stay. 

There's always lots of fun 

Down in Wormwood Forest!


DIPPY: And next time, things should really be exciting. Till then, this is Dippy Dwarf saying, "So long!" 


FRANKIE: (SINGS)

Remember next Saturday,

Listen to our animal play.

There's always lots of fun 

Down in Wormwood Forest!


MUSIC: UP TO FILL A PAUSE ... THEN IN BG


ANNOUNCER: "Wormwood Forest," written by Tom Tichenor, has come to you from WSM in Nashville, Tennessee. 


MUSIC: UP TO FILL A PAUSE ... THEN IN BG UNTIL END


ANNOUNCER: This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.

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