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Episode 44 - Mother's Day

Uncle Ezra's Radio Station

Episode 44 - Mother's Day

May 10 1941


9:00-9:30 PM CDST

MAW: Thanks, son, for this beautiful radio you have given me for Mother's day. I'll turn it on, the first thing in the morning. 

SON: No, Maw, turn it on NOW -- it's time for Uncle Ezra's Camel Program! 


ANNOUNCER: Yes, it's time for Uncle Ezra -- presented by Camel, the cigarette of costlier tobaccos. 


ANNOUNCER: Take it away, Rosedale!



EZRA: All right -- I know what to do with it. (CHIMES) There! Howdy, evv'buddy! This is Ezra P. Watters, down in Rosedale, the friendly little city where folks don't wait for any one special day to show love and respect to their mothers. Down here, Mother's Day is every day o' the hull year. And, by cracky, that's the way it ought to be! 


EZRA: Cecilia, have you got your Day Book ready? Here's some advertisin'. 

CECILIA: Yes, Uncle Ezra.

EZRA: Sons of the Pioneers, are you boys ready with your opening specialty?


EZRA: All right, come through those tomatow, sweet potato, and cabbage plants, now on sale at Estill's Grocery. 

TIM: Okay, Uncle Ezra. We'll come through with "Home Corral." 


EZRA: Thank you, boys. That's the best I've heard since the grasshoppers et my hoe handle. (CAST LAUGHS) Tomorrow bein' Mother's Day, I'm sure all the mothers liked that.

BUD: Say, Ezra, did you see the picture on display in Brad Harmon's Drug Store Window?

EZRA: What picture is that, Uncle Bud?

BUD: Oh, it's a fac-similiary of that famous paintin', by somebody or other -- I think they call it, "CROONER'S MOTHER." 

EZRA: "CROONER'S MOTHER"?? (CHUCKLES) Well, now, Uncle Bud, if you ain't the worst that ever was. That famous paintin' you have reference to, is called, "Whistler's MOTHER". 

BUD: You mean it used to be called, "Whistler's Mother." But now it's called "Crooner's Mother" to fit the times. 


EZRA: Oh yeah? Well, you're wrong again, Uncle Bud. They can speed up and streamline and modernize most everything ELSE in the world, but an old-fashioned mother, and what she stands for, will always BE an old-fashioned mother, because nobody can improve on her loyalty, patience, and devotion. 


EZRA: And right now, the Sons of the Pioneers have a beautiful song for her entitled "That Pioneer Mother Of Mine". It was written by Tim Spencer. How did you come to get the idea for the song, Tim? 

TIM: Well, Uncle Ezra, I wrote it after seeing that famous monument, in Oklahoma, erected in honor of the pioneer mothers, who helped in the settlement of this country. 

EZRA: That's mighty fine, Tim. Let's have the song. 



EZRA: That's a beautiful song, Tim, and beautifully sung by the boys. Gimme a toot on the tooter, Tommy. 


EZRA: Announcement, folks. We got a big surprise coming a little while later in the show and you baseball fans better keep your ears open, 'cause it's all about our favorite game.

PAT: Yahoo -- BASEBALL -- that's for me! 

BUD: You know, speaking of baseball, reminds me of the time the Rosedale White Collars were playing against the Gas-House Gang. Remember that, Ezra?

EZRA: (CHUCKLES) I sure do. They needed an extra fellow so they asked old Walt Washburn to fill in, in spite of the fact that he never played before.

BUD: (LAUGHS) Yes - Walt gets up to bat and jumpin' jehosaphat, didn't he knock the first ball way over the fence! It was a beauty! 

EZRA: Best I ever saw. Everyone stood and watched the ball -- even the batter. Then they noticed that Walt hadn't moved and they told him to run and run fast. And Walt just stood there and said, "Shucks, what's the use of running -- I'll buy you another ball!" 


BUD: (CHUCKLES) Boy -- there's nothing like watching a good baseball game. I'd like to see one of those big league games some day. I'd just like to see how those guys do it!

EZRA: Then, Uncle Bud, you listen to my special announcement in a little while! You know -- you keep hearing about "spheres of influence" these days. Well, let me tell you one of the busiest little "spheres of influence" in this country is wrapped up in a horsehide cover.

HARRICE: Another one I know of, Uncle Ezra, is wrapped up in a cellophane package. Yep - it's a package of Camels! Of course it isn't a sphere -- but it packs plenty of influence when it comes to good smoking! Just try a Camel and you'll see what I mean. You'll get mildness -- extra mildness -- with less nicotine in the smoke. Twenty-eight percent less nicotine than the average of the four other largest-selling cigarettes tested...less than any of them, according to independent scientific tests of the smoke itself. And you'll get a grand flavor in Camels -- coolness, too. So, friends, light up the slower-burning cigarette of costlier tobaccos -- and smoke out the facts for yourself. Betcha -- you'll like them! 

EZRA: Thank you, Cy Harrice. Folks, we got something extra-special lined up for a real surprise this evenin'. 

BUD: What IS the surprise, Ezra? 

EZRA: Well, gentle Annie, Uncle Bud, it wouldn't be a surprise if I up and told you all about it, would it? Play, boys! 

TIM: All right, Uncle Ezra, we're goin' to sing "Mornin' on the Farm", and we want you all to join in and help us out. How 'bout it?

EZRA: Sure will - go right ahead. Hey, Fran, Uncle Bud, Ceciley -- you're all in on this.



EZRA: Thank you, boys. That was a stem-winder! This Mother's Day programmy is goin' along fine and dandy. You know, I've just been wonderin' -- since the establishment of Mother's Day if children haven't become more "mother-conscious" than they used to be. What do you think, folks? Let's have a little open discussion about this. 


BUD: Well - Ezra --- 

EZRA: Ah, I see Uncle Bud's gettin' up off his chair --- all right, Uncle Bud, you have the floor. What have you to say? 

BUD: Not mentionin' any names, Ezra, but I just heard of a certain feller here in Rosedale that's "mother-conscious".

EZRA: By that you mean, he's awfully good to his mother. 

BUD: Yes -- and he's just done somethin' to PROVE how much he thinks of her. Everybody's talking about it.

EZRA: That so, Uncle Bud? Just what did he do? 

BUD: On account of Mother's Day, he's lettin' her keep her whole pay-check!


EZRA: (CHUCKLES) Now, Uncle Bud, you would bring somethin' up like that. 

CECILIA: Oh, Uncle Ezra --- 

EZRA: All right, Miss Ceciley, you have the floor.

CECILIA: Uncle Ezra, there's no question about it. For instance you take old Catfish Hank that lives there in the Wapsie Bottoms. He even pays a tribute to his mother, NOW.

EZRA: Is that so, Miss Ceciley? 

CECILIA: Yes -- he never used to get a shave or a haircut -- but now, every Saturday before Mother's Day, he gets a shave AND a haircut!

EZRA: Completely unveiled, eh? 

CECILIA: Yes -- so that his mother can see his face once again!


EZRA: (CHUCKLES) Well, by cracky, this Mother's Day discussion is kinda runnin' away with us. Oh, boys, what do you think about it? Have all of you been good to your mothers on Mother's Day?


PAT: (ABOVE OTHERS) I know I always was. Last year, all of us kids went back home. We drove there in brother Joe's big car, to take her out fer a nice ride -- and you should have seen the happy look on her face when we drove up. 

EZRA: She was expectin' you, was she, Pat? 

PAT: Yep - - she was waitin' on the front porch for us. Oh, she was so happy that all of us kids come to see her! 

EZRA: And you took her out driving as soon as you got there? 

PAT: Well, we wuz goin' to, but she said she had dinner all ready and it would git cold if we didn't eat right away, so we all set down and ett.

EZRA: I see. Then you took her out driving, after dinner.

PAT: Well, no -- not right after dinner. Brother Henry ett so much he had to lay down fer a spell. And Sister Lucy wanted to tidy herself up a bit, and I wanted to visit some old cronies that live close by, so I figgered we could take Mother driving when I got back. Besides, she had her dinner dishes to do. 

EZRA: So you took her for a drive when you got back.

PAT: Well, not right after I got back. 


PAT: You see, brother Charley had took a notion to call on an old sweetheart of his that lived in the neighborhood, and we didn't want to start off without Charley, so we waited for him to git back, and when he showed up it was supper time and Mother insisted on us all eatin' again, so we did

EZRA: But after supper you took Mother out driving, didn't you? 

PAT: Well, not right after supper, Uncle Ezra. 


PAT: You see, Mother had to clean off the table and wash all the dishes again, and by that time it was time fer us to leave, so off we went, and do you know, Uncle Ezra, Mother said it was the best Mother's Day she ever had in her life!



PAT: No, Uncle Ezra, but by cracky, we're going to, tomorrow. We are goin' to take Mother fer a drive first, and do our eatin' afterwards. And say -- all us kids are gonna do the dishes, too! 

EZRA: Well, Pat as long as you are going to do all of that, why don't you kids cook the dinner?

PAT: Oh, we couldn't take THAT pleasure away from Mother! 


EZRA: All right, Pat -- let's see if you and the other boys can serve up a little musical treat for us. How 'bout it?


TIM: All right, Uncle Ezra - it's "Following the Sun." 

EZRA: That's the spirit, boys. Git goin'.



EZRA: Thank you, boys. Now here's a special announcement about baseball. Give me a toot on the tooter, Tommy. 


EZRA: Now, folks -- would you like some inside pointers on baseball pitching? Would you like to know how the big leaguers do it?


EZRA: I thought you would. Well, sir, you can get this information from Cincinnati's ace hurler -- the great "Bucky" Walters, himself. 

PAT: You mean the "Bucky" Walters?

EZRA: I certainly do. "Bucky" shows you how to burn 'em across the plate -- how to stand in the pitcher's box and really strike 'em out.... 

PAT: Oh, boy, Uncle Ezra -- lead me to it. Where do we get all this?

EZRA: Well, and listen closely. Starting tomorrow, Sunday, in newspaper comic sections will be a big full-color picture story on pitching by "Bucky" Walters. "Bucky" gives you swell tips on championship pitching with simple, easy-to-understand diagrams, as well as action pictures. I've seen it, and let me tell you -- it's a swell story. Now remember -- watch your Sunday newspaper comic section for "Bucky" Walters' inside slant on pitching. And get "Bucky's" inside slant on smoking, too. Why, "Bucky's" a rootin', tootin' Camel fan. 

HARRICE: Yes -- "Bucky" Walters says that it's Camel mildness that counts with him. And it's that mildness that rates with everybody. Because Camels are more than mild -- they're extra-mild -- with less nicotine in the smoke. Twenty-eight percent less nicotine than the average of the four other largest-selling cigarettes tested -- less than any of them, according to independent scientific tests of the smoke itself. And remember -- you get plenty of flavor in Camels - - coolness too. Why there's even smoking economy -- for Camel's slower way of burning gives you extra smoking. And for even more economy get your Camels by the carton. 

EZRA: Thanks, Cy, and don't forget, folks -- look in your comic section for the big baseball story on "Bucky" Walters. - Yes sir -----


FANNY: (DISTANT) Hello, Ezra! Good evening, everyone!

BUD: Fanny Pettengill!! 


EZRA: Well, well, Miss Fanny, you're right on time for my big surprise of the evenin'. (LOW) Did you fetch her along with you? 

FANNY: (LOW) Yes - she's in the hallway now, Uncle Ezra. When you're ready, I'll bring her out.

EZRA: (LOW) I'm ready right now. Bring her in, Miss Fanny.

FANNY: (FADE OUT) All right, Uncle Ezra.


FANNY: (DISTANT) Come on, Grandma. Uncle Ezra is ready for you. 

EZRA: Bring her right up here to the mikefoney, Miss Fanny. Folks, I have the extreme honor and happy privilege of presenting you, Grandma Waller -- selected by popular acclaim as Rosedale's ideal and representative mother! 


EZRA: Step right up here to the mikefoney, Grandma Waller. 


GRANDMA: (FADE IN) Well, Ezra, so THIS is what you sent for me to come up here this evening, for, is it?

EZRA: (CHUCKLES) It sure is, Grandma Waller. And I want to say right here and now that it ain't very often we have such a distinguished guest up here. 

GRANDMA: (PUZZLED) Distinguished? Why -- there ain't anything distinguished about ME, Ezra. I've never done any big or important thing that I know of that should make folks single ME out for this honor. 

EZRA: (WISELY) Oh is that so, Grandma? You've never done anything big or important, eh? Well now, let me SEE. Years ago, when Grandpa Waller was taken so suddenly, you was left with seven small children -- and very little to go on, wasn't you, Grandma? 

GRANDMA: Why yes, Ezra -- I was. But you know all about that. Everybody does. 

EZRA: (QUIETLY) And when they wanted to take some of the smaller children away and give them homes somewhere else to kind of make it a little easier on you, you wouldn't hear to it, would you?

GRANDMA: Why no, Ezra -- I certainly wouldn't. 

EZRA: You insisted on keepin' the little brood together --- said you'd find ways and means to take care of them SOMEHOW, didn't you? 

GRANDMA: Well, Ezra, you know the old saying -- it's a poor hen that won't scratch for her own chicks.


EZRA: Well, you sure did some right smart SCRATCHIN', Grandma. Folks, Grandma Waller here, raised seven children, by the toil of her own strong hands and the determination of her own stout heart --


EZRA: Folks, a mother like Grandma Waller is not only ROSEDALE'S representative and ideal mother -- she is the symbol of ALL the old-fashioned mothers everywhere on the face of the earth. Not your kings and your rulers with their mandates, their treaties, and their pacts, but the clear, level eyes and the frail, toil-worn hands of the mothers of this earth -- of THESE is the power and the kingdom and the glory made up. In THEM lies the hope and the peace and the security of all the tomorrows that are to come.. And now, Grandma Waller, on behalf of all of Rosedale, I present you with this bouquet of roses -- one rose for every year of your long, honorable and useful life. 


GRANDMA: (DEEPLY MOVED) Thank you, Ezra -- thank you all. I -- I don't know what to say. You see, I -- I never made a speech in all my life. And besides, I put bread to rise on the back of the stove, and I think I'd better be going. 

EZRA: Not yet, Grandma. Before you go, Miss Fran Allison has got a pretty song to sing, as a kind of a tribute to you and all the other mothers listenin' in with us this evenin'. All right, Fran Allison. 

FRAN: Uncle Ezra, here's a lullaby that mothers have been singing for a long, long time. And I think maybe they'd like to hear it again. "Sweet and Low"



MUSIC: "_________________________________________" (PIONEERS)

EZRA: Thank you, Fran Allison. That was just what we needed. Now, Grandma Waller, I want to ask your opinion about something. Do you think the children of yester-year were as "mother-conscious" as the children of today are? 

GRANDMA: Well, Ezra, to tell the truth, I think we old-fashioned mothers were kept too busy being "CHILD-CONSCIOUS", to have time to wonder whether the children were "mother-conscious" or not. 


EZRA: That was very well put, Grandma Waller. We understand just what you mothers mean. But I'm afraid that children are not mother-conscious enough. Sometimes I think we take you mothers too much as a matter of course. That reminds me of a poem in the old Scrap Book, I can use for my thought for the Day. Listen, evv'buddy!


Looking back now, down the trail of the years

And those days so swiftly decanted, 

I can clearly see and I think you'll agree, 

That our mothers are taken for granted. 

Like the sun and the moon, and

The trees and the flowers, 

So all firmly rooted and planted 

Our Mothers belong to those

Change-less things 

Yes--we just take Mothers for granted. 

But the sun can go down and the stars can grow dim, 

And an end come to days enchanted; 

So, resolve today ere she goes away 

Not to take Mother, too much for granted.. 

That's my Thought for the Day, folks. 


EZRA: Now, drive keerful on your way home -- and you smokers, don't forget to smoke Camels. Next Sattiday night the Sons of the Pioneers are goin' to sing "Cool Water" again for you. And you may be sure the Little Five-Watter will have a good programmy with plenty of folks up here, and lots of fun and excitement. Signin' off now -- goodnight -- sleep tight.


STANDBY: This is the National Broadcasting Company.