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Enjoyment

The Family Doctor

Enjoyment

circa Sep 25 1938



CAST:

GRANT ADAMS, the family doctor

LOU, his wife

BERT WEBB, the alcoholic

MRS. WEBB, Bert's wife

and a CROWD at a circus parade




SOUND: PHONE RINGS ... RECEIVER UP


GRANT: (FRIENDLY) Hello, there. This is the Family Doctor.


MUSIC: THEME ... FILLS LENGTHY PAUSE FOR LOCAL ANNOUNCER'S INTRODUCTORY COMMENTS ... THEN OUT


SOUND: STEADY RAIN FALLS ON STREETS AND SIDEWALKS ... THEN IN BG ... (AN OCCASIONAL CAR HONKS OR MOTORS PAST, IN BG)


LOU: This is kind of fun, isn't it, Grant -- walkin' in the rain?


GRANT: Yes. Yes, it is. But you'd better take a mustard foot bath when you get home.


LOU: This is just like old times, isn't it?


GRANT: Old times? It rains every year, doesn't it?


LOU: Remember that winter we spent in Chicago -- while you were doin' your postgraduate work?


GRANT: Yep.


LOU: Remember how we used to stroll up and down Michigan Boulevard in the rain?


GRANT: Yes, but-- Well, we're not as young as were then, Lou. We can't afford to take chances on catching colds.


LOU: Oh, look, Grant.


GRANT: Hm? What? Look at what?


LOU: That fine new radio in Rankin's window.


GRANT: Yeah. Mighty pretty, all right.


LOU: (CHIDES) Oh, Grant Adams, you're not lookin' at all.


GRANT: Well, what's the use of lookin' an' gettin' my appetite all whetted up for somethin' that I know I can't afford?


LOU: Well, it don't hurt for us to just look at something nice, does it?


GRANT: Well, no. S'pose not. (BEAT) Mm, yes, yes. That is pretty, all right. (BEAT, CHUCKLES TO HIMSELF)


LOU: Why, what are you laughing at?


GRANT: Ahhh, I was just thinkin'. 'Tisn't it funny?


LOU: What?


GRANT: What different folks use for enjoyment. Now, Sam Windsor -- well, he likes to play golf over at the Dunlap Country Club, and Pete May just fairly dotes on a good rousin' game of checkers, and Ralph Bates is never any happier than when he's foreclosin' a mortgage. (CHUCKLES) And you-- Well, all you want to do, Lou, is look in a window at somethin' ya can't have. Heh. Ah, but then I guess you're just like all women, huh? (CHUCKLES)

 

LOU: (AMUSED) Oh, Grant Adams, of all things. Heh! What a topic of conversation! 


GRANT: (CHUCKLES) Yes. 


LOU: (CHUCKLES, THEN STOPS SHORT) 


GRANT: What's the matter?


LOU: (EMBARRASSED) Here comes Bert Webb. And, Grant, he's - intoxicated again.


BERT: (DURING ABOVE, APPROACHES WHILE SINGING "MY BONNIE LIES OVER THE OCEAN" DRUNKENLY ... THEN GROWS CLOSER IN BG)


GRANT: Hmm. Yep, he's drunk, all right.


LOU: Well, what shall we do?


GRANT: Oh, nothing. Nothing.


BERT: (CLOSE, STOPS SINGING ABRUPTLY; SLURS HIS WORDS) Ooooh! Hallo, folks! Glad to see ya.


LOU: (STIFFLY) How do, Mr. Webb?


GRANT: (MORE CASUAL) Yeah, hello, Bert. What are you doing out at this time of night in the rain?


BERT: Oh, been celebratin'.


GRANT: Celebrating, eh?


BERT: Yep! Mah birthday.


GRANT: Ohhh, congratulations.


BERT: Yep, celebratin' mah birthday. 'Course it tain't till next month, but, uh, celebratin' just the same. (LAUGHS A LITTLE TOO HARD)


GRANT: Well, you better get on home, Bert. It's rainin' pretty hard.


BERT: Rainin'? Oooooh, yes. 'Tis, ain't it? Oh, gonna be rotten weather for the circus parade tomorrow.


GRANT: Circus?


BERT: Yup! Gonna have a circus tomorrah. Er, gotta celebrate. (MERRILY) Well, be seein' of ya! Ger-licks the nicht! (LAUGHS, SINGS "OH, MY BONNIE LIES OVER THE OCEAN" DRUNKENLY AS HE MOVES OFF, FADES INTO DISTANCE DURING FOLLOWING--)


LOU: Hmph. Isn't that a shame?


GRANT: Yeah. Yeah, 'tis.


LOU: And Mrs. Webb at home there, workin' her fingers to the bone to keep that big family fed and clothed. It's a cryin' shame, that's what it is.


GRANT: Well, you see, Lou? We were talkin' about what different kinds of things the different folks in Cedarton get enjoyment out of. Now, Bert, he thinks he's enjoyin' himself just the same as you lookin' in that window there. But he isn't. Nosirree-bob, it's just a disease, that's all it is.


LOU: Disease?


GRANT: Yep, that's all. Bert Webb's drinkin' is just as much of a disease as Marie Antoinette Rankin's measles or Ted Maynard's broken leg. Only Bert's disease is like Matty Clark's gossip; it's a disease of the mind instead of the body.


LOU: Mmmm, I guess you're right, Grant.


GRANT: Right? I know I'm right. (CHANGES SUBJECT) Well, come on. Let's get on home and fix up a mustard bath for your feet.


MUSIC: BRIDGE


SOUND: CROWD BACKGROUND ... DISTANT MURMUR FROM STREET BELOW ... TO PAINT PICTURE OF MILLING CROWD WAITING FOR CIRCUS PARADE AS HEARD FROM SECOND FLOOR WINDOW


GRANT: Now, don't lean out of that window too far, Lou.


LOU: (SLIGHTLY OFF) I can't imagine you not knowing there was going to be a circus parade today, Grant. Why, everybody in Cedarton's been talking about it for weeks.


GRANT: I've been too busy, I guess.


LOU: (SLIGHTLY OFF) Heh! You too busy for a circus? Ho! How you talk!


GRANT: That's all right now, but just don't you lean out too far.


SOUND: CROWD GROWS A LITTLE EXCITED, IN BG


LOU: (SLIGHTLY OFF, GASPS) Oh, here it comes. Here it comes!


GRANT: Oh, yeah? Well, maybe this specimen can wait till a little bit later.


MUSIC: FROM OFF, CIRCUS BAND PLAYS TRUMPET FANFARE, THEN A HAPPY CIRCUS TUNE ... THEN MARCHES BY, DURING FOLLOWING--


LOU: (CLOSER) I knew you'd come to the window to see the parade. Oh, look, Grant! There it is. The band. See the band?


GRANT: Yep, I see it, all right. Saaay! They look mighty grand, don't they, in their red and gold suits?


LOU: I should say they do. Oh, look! Look at those big white wagons. They're all filled with lions and tigers. Oooh, aren't they grand?


GRANT: Yeah. Hey, there are the monkeys! (LAUGHS) Say, they - they're kinda spry, aren't they?! (LAUGHS) Look at 'em!


MUSIC: DURING ABOVE, CIRCUS BAND FADES INTO DISTANCE


LOU: (WORRIED) Oh-oh. Look, Grant.


GRANT: What? Where?


LOU: There's poor Bert Webb down there below us. Right below your window. 


GRANT: Hm.


LOU: Isn't that terrible? He isn't, um-- He isn't dry yet.


GRANT: No. Must have been at it all night. Too bad; it's too bad. 


MUSIC: A SECOND CIRCUS BAND APPROACHES ... PLAYS IN BG


GRANT: Oh, here comes another band, Lou.


LOU: Oh, yes. Aren't they pretty? (CHUCKLES) Oh, and just see those clowns! (IMPRESSED) Hm! Aren't they the ones, though?


GRANT: (CHUCKLES) You see those elephants coming up behind the clowns?


LOU: Oh, yes! Aren't they comical? (CHUCKLES; THEN ABRUPTLY TENSE) Grant? Grant!


GRANT: What's the matter?


LOU: (HORRIFIED) There's a little girl running out in front of that first elephant! Oh!


GRANT: Yeah, nobody sees her. (SHOUTS) Hey! Hey, down there! Look out for that little girl! Hey!


LOU: Oh, it's the littlest Webb child! I know that little gingham dress.


GRANT: Hey, look! Bert's running out after her!


LOU: He's pushed her out of the way! (BEAT, SHRIEKS IN HORROR)


MUSIC: BAND STOPS PLAYING


SOUND: CROWD MURMURS EXCITEDLY, IN BG


GRANT: Lou, Bert's been hurt by the elephant. I'm going down there. You get some hot water ready. And spread a clean sheet out over the operating table. I'll be right up with Bert. He's hurt bad.


MUSIC: MELODRAMATIC BRIDGE


SOUND: CLICK! AND CLINK! OF SURGICAL INSTRUMENTS, IN AGREEMENT WITH FOLLOWING--


GRANT: (GRIMLY) More packing, please. (BEAT) That's it. Read the respiration.


LOU: Twenty-five.


GRANT: More oxygen.


SOUND: HISS! OF OXYGEN TANK


GRANT: Blood pressure?


LOU: A hundred and ten over seventy.


GRANT: Pulse?


LOU: Ninety.


GRANT: (UNHAPPY) Ehh, I can't stop this hemorrhage. More packing! (BEAT) Respiration and pulse?


LOU: Respiration -- thirty-three. Pulse ---- hundred and ten.


GRANT: Go out and talk to his wife. You can't do anything more in here.


LOU: Very well, Grant. I'll come right back.


SOUND: DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES AS WE FOLLOW LOU INTO THE WAITING ROOM


MRS. WEBB: (TEARFUL) Oh, Mrs. Adams. Is Bert all right? Has Dr. Adams fixed him up yet? (WEEPS QUIETLY, IN BG)


LOU: Now, now, Mrs. Webb, you must be quiet. You mustn't speak too loud. The doctor is doing his best. Mr. Webb is holding his own so far.


MRS. WEBB: (HORRIFIED) Holdin' his own?! I know what that means! It means nothin' can be done for him! (BROKENLY) He's dyin'! He's dyin'-- (WEEPS HORRIBLY)


LOU: Mrs. Webb! Please, sit down.


MRS. WEBB: I want to go in there. I must! Bert needs me!


LOU: (FIRMLY BUT GENTLY) No, he doesn't. He needs surgical attention, and he must have it. You would only be in the way, Mrs. Webb.


MRS. WEBB: (CALMER) Oh, yes. Yes. I know you're right. Of course you're right. (CHANGES SUBJECT, GRATEFUL) Oh, Mrs. Adams, what would we do here in Cedarton without the doctor? (BEAT) Isn't he a fine man, though?


LOU: Yes. Yes. He is a fine man.


MRS. WEBB: Then he's goin' to bring my Bert back to me. I know he is.


LOU: I-- Yes. Of course he is. Now, you sit down again and I'll be back just as soon as I can and tell you how Mr. Webb's getting along.


MRS. WEBB: Oh, thank you, Mrs. Adams. Thank you so much.


SOUND: DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES AS LOU EXITS


MUSIC: MOURNFUL BRIDGE


NOTE: NEXT SCENE IS PLAYED SLOWLY


SOUND: HISS! OF OXYGEN TANK AS VALVE IS TURNED ... HISS STOPS


LOU: (SURPRISED, QUIETLY) Grant? You've turned the oxygen off?


GRANT: (DEFEATED) Yes. I turned it off. It - it can't do any more good.


LOU: I understand, Grant. You did your best.


GRANT: What am I going to say to that poor woman in there?


LOU: Maybe I could--


GRANT: No, no. I'm the doctor. This is my job. (BEAT) Take my gloves off, will ya, please?


LOU: Of course, Grant.


SOUND: RUBBER GLOVES REMOVED


GRANT: Thank you. (BEAT) Well, it has to be done. Lou? Will you come out with me?


LOU: Of course I will, Grant.


GRANT: Thanks. I need you.


SOUND: DOOR OPENS AS WE FOLLOW GRANT AND LOU INTO THE WAITING ROOM


MRS. WEBB: (HOPEFUL) Dr. Adams! Is Bert all--? (STOPS SHORT, MISERABLE) No. I can see by your eyes. (WEEPS) Oh, Bert! (WEEPS EXTRAVAGANTLY)


MUSIC: BRIDGE


SOUND: STEADY RAIN FALLS ON STREETS AND SIDEWALKS ... THEN IN BG


LOU: It's raining again, Grant.


GRANT: (ABSENTLY) Raining? Oh, yes, yes. So it is.


LOU: Isn't it queer, though? The rain just let up for one day.


GRANT: Er, yep. It is a mite peculiar.


LOU: Grant -- you did your best.


GRANT: Hm? Oh, yes. Yes, I suppose I did. Wasn't quite enough, though, was it?


LOU: It was all anybody could have done, Grant.


GRANT: Oh, well. Maybe. Yes, I - I suppose it was.


LOU: (BEAT) What are you thinking about, Grant?


GRANT: I, er-- Well, I-- I guess I was just thinkin' about that talk we had night before last. About what folks sought out of life for enjoyment. Sam Windsor and his golf, Matty Clark and her gossip, Pete May and his checkers, and all the rest.


LOU: Mmm. I think I understand. (CHANGES SUBJECT) Don't you think we should go home, Grant? I think maybe I'd better get a mustard bath ready for your feet. (NO RESPONSE) Grant? Where are we walking to?


GRANT: I thought maybe we might stroll past Rankin's hardware store.


LOU: Rankin's hardware? What for?


GRANT: Oh, just thought we might look at that radio in the window again.


MUSIC: THEME ... FOR CURTAIN ... THEN FILLS LENGTHY PAUSE FOR LOCAL ANNOUNCER'S CLOSING COMMENTS ... THEN OUT


SOUND: PHONE RINGS ... RECEIVER UP


GRANT: (FRIENDLY) This is the Family Doctor. I'll be in to see you again right soon. Goodbye.


SOUND: RECEIVER DOWN


MUSIC: THEME ... FOR A FINISH ... THEN FADES OUT

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