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Bambi

The Sanka Coffee Playhouse

Bambi

Sep 28 1936



CAST:

ANNOUNCER

BAMBI

PROFESSOR

ARDELIA

JARVIS

PEEBLES




(THEME IN) 


ANNOUNCER: The Sanka Coffee Playhouse! Starring Helen Hayes in her new Comedy-drama series, "Bambi!" 


(MUSIC UP AND DOWN FOR:) 


ANNOUNCER: Tonight's the night, ladies and gentlemen . . . tonight's our opening night! In just a few moments now the curtain will rise on a great actress in a brilliant new starring role . . . Helen Hayes as "Bambi," a charming American girl who fights to make her dreams come true. It's a wonderful feeling to have Miss Hayes back with us again . . . those of you who listened last season to the Sanka Coffee Playhouse remember her superb performances with real delight. And now once again you'll be able to enjoy Helen Hayes . . . to follow her progress as a new character, involved in fascinating new experiences. The makers of Sanka Coffee are both pleased and proud to present Miss Hayes for this second series of broadcasts . . .and they are also grateful to you listeners for helping to make that possible. We couldn't continue without your support of Sanka Coffee, and you have given us that support whole-heartedly. You have kept faith with us . . . and in return, we can promise that Sanka Coffee will always keep faith with you. You can always depend on it to be delicious, deeply-satisfying coffee . . . and you can always drink it and sleep. 


(OVERTURE IN) 


ANNOUNCER: And now we bring you Helen Hayes in a new role: The delightful, warm-hearted Bambi. As a very small baby Bambi was properly christened Francesca Witherspoon Parkhurst. But that was promptly changed to Bambina--which in time became Bambi--for short. And so now may we introduce to you Bambi. We find her seated at the breakfast table. Directly opposite Bambi sits her father--the well loved head of Overbrook School for Boys, Professor James Parkhurst. In his customary amiable absent-minded preoccupation--he is about to put salt in his morning coffee. Bambi catches him. 


BAMBI: Since when have you decided to take it that way, Professor? 


PROFESSOR: Hm . . . what? 


BAMBI: I said since when have you decided to take salt instead of sugar in your coffee? 


PROFESSOR: Oh--but I don't. 


BAMBI: Oh, but you will--in another second--if you're not careful. That's the salt shaker you have in your hand. The sugar bowl is over here. 


PROFESSOR: Well--bless my soul--so it is. Thank you, Bambi. 


BAMBI: Don't mention it. 


(CLATTER OF CHINA . . . STIRRING OF COFFEE) 


BAMBI: Father--


PROFESSOR: Hum? Now what have I done that's wrong? 


BAMBI: Me! 


PROFESSOR: You? 


BAMBI: Exactly. You remember me--Francesca Witherspoon Parkhurst--known as Bambi--your only child and heir. 


PROFESSOR: Of course I remember you--I'm not that absentminded. 


BAMBI: Well that's something. Another waffle? 


PROFESSOR: Mm . . . uh . . . no. 


BAMBI: As I was saying, Professor, you may be the head of one of the most famous boy's schools in the country--but as a parent you've flunked. 


PROFESSOR: Eh, what's that? 


BAMBI: As an educator of your one and only offspring you're a complete and total failure. 


PROFESSOR: Ah rats. What's wrong with the way I brought you up? 


BAMBI: The final result--Me. 


PROFESSOR: And what's wrong with you?


BAMBI: Just look at me. 


PROFESSOR: I do. Frequently. Nice hair--nice teeth--nice blue eyes. Total effect--very pleasant. 


BAMBI: But don't you see. That's just the trouble. Here I sit--decorative--likeable--and absolutely useless. 


PROFESSOR: I didn't bring you up to have a career if that's what you mean. I have yet to see one of those so-called career women that was happy. (WISTFULLY) Look here, Bambi--you--you've been a little bit happy living here with me. 


BAMBI: Of course I have, darling. But I--I couldn't even earn my own salt--if I had to.


PROFESSOR: And why should you. I've always expected to support you--until I could turn that job over to your husband. 


BAMBI: But what if I should want a husband who can't support me? Have you ever thought of that, Professor? 


PROFESSOR: Oh rats. It's the first duty of every husband to support his wife. 


BAMBI: Back in the middle ages perhaps. But this is getting on toward the middle of the twentieth century--in case it had slipped your mind. Lots of men marry to be supported nowadays. And how in thunder am I ever going to be able to support the man I love. 


PROFESSOR: Look here, Bambi, is this an esoteric discussion--or are you leading up to a specific point? 


BAMBI: I certainly am. My own complete and total ignorance. 


PROFESSOR: Oh rats. You dance--you play the piano rather nicely--you speak French fluently--and you certainly know more about this so-called modern art than I do--or care to. And . . . 


BAMBI: But don't you see, Professor . . . those are only accomplishments--that accomplish nothing. Why didn't you make me study something useful. Something at which I could earn a living. 


PROFESSOR: How old are you, Bambina? 


BAMBI: Twenty-two--going on twenty-three. 


PROFESSOR: Good gracious. It's not possible. 


BAMBI: It says so in the family Bible. 


PROFESSOR: Why it seems only yesterday I was helping you to cut a cake with five candles. 


BAMBI: And here I am--practically an old maid.


PROFESSOR: Rats. Twenty-three isn't exactly senile. 


BAMBI: Maybe not--and I do wish you'd stop saying rats. But at twenty-three it's high time I found myself a husband. 


PROFESSOR: Ra . . . 


BAMBI: Uh--uh . . . 


PROFESSOR: Look here, Bambi--that's the second time that word husband has come into the discussion. Have you someone in mind? 


BAMBI: I have. I've had him in mind for years. I decided on him when I was sixteen and he first came here to teach. 


PROFESSOR: One of my teachers, eh? Has he proposed to you? 


BAMBI: No--he doesn't even know I exist half the time. He's nearly as absent-minded as you are. But I intend to marry him just the same. 


PROFESSOR: As absent-minded as I am? Let me see--who could that--good Lord! Bambi you don't mean--it isn't . . . 


BAMBI: Jarvis Trent. It is. 


PROFESSOR: Yet--but--but he isn't even a Professor. He's only a tutor--and not a very good one at that. When he gets to working on one of those fool plays of his--he sometimes forgets he has any tutoring for days at a time. You couldn't live on a tutor's salary, Bambi. Why the man's practically penniless. 


BAMBI: But, don't you see, Professor . . . that's why I'm so annoyed at you for not giving me a practical education--so I could support him in luxury to which he's never been accustomed. 


PROFESSOR: Jarvis Trent--well bless my soul. Of all the young men that have been cluttering up my front porch all summer, I do believe you've chosen the most ineligible. 


BAMBI: Geniuses are always ineligible, Professor. They need someone to take care of them--like you do. 


PROFESSOR: I am not a genius--and I do not need taking care of. 


BAMBI: Well, you're one of the greatest mathematical brains in the country. 


PROFESSOR: Nonsense. 


BAMBI: Everyone says so. And you do need taking care of. Now really--I've had plenty of practice in that direction. 


PROFESSOR: Oh ra . . . 


BAMBI: Professor. 


PROFESSOR: Well, then, fiddlesticks. I'm quite capable of taking care of myself. 


BAMBI: You are not. Why if it weren't for me you'd probably go out without your trousers--and get arrested. Or forget to eat and starve to death. 


PROFESSOR: Oh ra--rubbish. That's just a myth you've built up for yourself. I'm not absent-minded--incompetent--or even . . . 


BAMBI: What about the time you started off for your nine o'clock class in your green pajamas. 


PROFESSOR: Oh, well--that--I mean. Anybody--now and then . . . 


BAMBI: And speaking of nine o'clock classes. Haven't you one this morning? 


PROFESSOR: Certainly not--I never have a nine o'clock on Tuesdays. 


BAMBI: I know it, Professor--but this is Monday. 


PROFESSOR: Is it? 


BAMBI: It is . . . Not only Monday--but one minute to nine. 


PROFESSOR: Good Lord--so it is. I've got to hurry. Goodbye, Bambi . . . don't go giving way to any foolish ideas while I'm . . . 


BAMBI: Don't you want these note books? 


PROFESSOR: Of course--of course--Now where are my glasses. Quick, Bambi--my glasses. I'm late now. 


BAMBI: I know it . . . Here they are--where you left them on the sideboard. Careful--you'll drop the note books. Better put them on before you lose them again. 


PROFESSOR: I never wear my note books. 


BAMBI: Idiot. And here--better take your umbrella. 


(DOOR OPENS) 


PROFESSOR: I don't need an umbrella. 


BAMBI: Oh yes you do, it looks like rain. Here. That's better. Now if it does rain--don't forget to put it up! 


PROFESSOR: Oh--oh--mice! 


(DOOR SLAMS) 


BAMBI: (LAUGHS). 


(MUSIC WHICH ENDS WITH BAMBI PLAYING THE PIANO) 


ARDELIA: (AWAY) Miss Bambi--Oh, Miss Bambina. 


(MUSIC STOPS) 


BAMBI: I'm in here, Ardelia. 


(MUSIC CONTINUES) 


ARDELIA: Oh, Miss Bambi is you froo eating yo breakfas' . . . 


BAMBI: I was froo ten minutes ago, Ardelia--when the Professor left. 


ARDELIA: Is de Professor gone already? 


BAMBI: He is, Ardelia--completely, totally gone. 


ARDELIA: Oh my. 


(MUSIC STOPS) 


BAMBI: Why, what's the matter? 


ARDELIA: Dey's a man out in de garden. 


(PIANO STARTS AGAIN) 


BAMBI: Probably the man came to fix the rose arbor. 


ARDELIA: No m'am--it's a young gemmun. One of de one's been slammin' de screen do' all summer. 


BAMBI: Well, then what's so startling about his being out in our garden this particular morning? 


ARDELIA: Dey ain't noffin startlin' about his being out dere dis mornin' honey--only he done been dere all night.

 

(PIANO STOPS ABRUPTLY) 


BAMBI: All night--yes, but who--why--what's his name? 


ARDELIA: Ah disremember honey--dey's so many young fellers hangin' round--can't keep 'em straight. 


BAMBI: You and father. You both get zero when it comes to memory. 


ARDELIA: Yes'm--but ah bakes an elegant strawberry shortcake. 


BAMBI: But it's not the strawberry season. 


(DISTANT DOOR SLAM) 


(PIANO STOPS) 


[BAMBI:] Goodness what's that? 


ARDELIA: 'At's him. 


BAMBI: Whom--I mean who? 


ARDELIA: Him--de all night stayer outer. 


BAMBI: Yes but--good heavens--Jarvis! 


JARVIS: (SHEEPISH) Hello, Bambi. 


BAMBI: Jarvis Trent--look at yourself. Clothes all wrinkled--leaves in your hair. What in the name of common sense have you been doing? 


JARVIS: (MAD) Well, if you must know--I've been sleeping in your garden. 


BAMBI: What? 


ARDELIA: My--my--Don' tell me yo' didn't go home agin a tall--after yo' come callin' on de Professor? 


BAMBI: When was that? 


ARDELIA: Kinda roun' ten o'clock last night. 


BAMBI: Oh, my goodness. And you've been sleeping out there ever since? 


JARVIS: Well, not exactly. You see it's all my landlady's fault. We--we had a fight. 


BAMBI: What about? 


JARVIS: She wanted the rent. 


BAMBI: Well, why didn't you give it to her? 


JARVIS: I haven't got it. 


BAMBI: But Jarvis--you must have. I mailed you your salary check myself only last week. 


JARVIS: I know--but I lost it--or put it somewhere or something--anyway, it's gone--and I didn't have time to look for it because I was right in the middle of the climax of the second act. 


BAMBI: Your new play? 


JARVIS: Yes . . . Bambi, it's good! It's different--it's got something the modern theatre needs . . . something . . . something alive. 


BAMBI: I'm sure of it, darling. 


JARVIS: And there I was right in the middle of it--and what happens--the old harpy comes banging on my door for the rent--I mean, wouldn't you think even a landlady would have a little consideration? 


BAMBI: Well, what happened, Jarvis? How'd you get into our garden? 


JARVIS: If you'd just let me finish--she locked me out of my room--away from my work--my notes--my pencils and paper even--all because I couldn't find a filthy salary check. 


BAMBI: Why didn't you come here? 


JARVIS: I did. But your father was in conference with that new man--the one who's come to teach geology or something--Everything went against me--and there I was right at a critical point in my play--all I had to do was sit down and put it on paper. 


BAMBI: So father couldn't see you--


JARVIS: And no one seemed to know where you'd gone off to. And I did need you, Bambi. I always seem to need you for something--I mean--that is--you--(SUDDENLY ANGRY) I must say, Bambi, you've got a bad habit of being somewhere else when it's important that you ought to be where you ought to be . . . 


BAMBI: I went to the movies. 


JARVIS: The movies! Honestly, Bambi--you know what I think of the movies. 


BAMBI: Yes I know. I like them. Well, go on . . . 


JARVIS: Where was I . . . 


BAMBI: You'd just found out that father was busy . . . 


JARVIS: So I sent in word by Ardelia that I'd be waiting--out in the garden. 


ARDELIA: Dat's right--and de Professor he told me--Ardelia--he say--tell him to wait out in de garden. 


BAMBI: Yes--yes--we know what the Professor told you. 


ARDELIA: Yes'm. 


BAMBI: So you went out in the garden, Jarvis. 


JARVIS: Yes. I was full of my big climax. The climax of my play, I mean--so I walked and walked--and ideas kept flowing through my head like mad . . . It was magnificent! 


ARDELIA: Um--um . . . 


BAMBI: Quiet, Ardelia--go on, Jarvis. 


JARVIS: So I kept on walking and thinking--and thinking and walking. And then my feet began to hurt--so I sat down in the summer house--and--well, I guess I fell asleep. 


BAMBI: Well--never mind--go upstairs and take a bath. Ardelia will get you some of the Professor's clothes to put on--and then you can come down and have a nice hot breakfast. You must be starved. 


JARVIS: But I haven't time for breakfast, Bambi . . . If I don't get that second act on paper it may leave me--and never come back . . . This is vital . . . I've got to get it written . . . I've got to have some paper and pencils and things. That female dragon wouldn't even let me in to get paper


BAMBI: What'd she say? 


JARVIS: Oh, a lot of stupid things . . . such as instead of writing on paper I'd better sell papers so I could pay my rent . . . she's impossible, Bambi, I'll have to move. Right away. 


BAMBI: But you can't move, darling--till you get into your rooms to pack your things. 


JARVIS: Oh--I never thought of that . . . she's got me trapped . . . 


BAMBI: It's a cruel world, Jarvis--a cruel--cruel world. 


JARVIS: Bambi, this is no joke. 


BAMBI: Of course, it isn't, Jarvis--listen, how much do you owe the landlady? 


JARVIS: I haven't any idea. 


BAMBI: Haven't you got any money at all? 


JARVIS: Of course not--don't you suppose I'd have given it to her not to interrupt me--if I'd had any--


BAMBI: Poor Jarvis--straying in the Elysian Fields. Never mind. Bambi will fix everything--including the landlady. 


ARDELIA: Yes suh--Miss Bambi--she sho am de fixinest person--ah remember de time when dat newfangled electric stove got out o' kilter--and dey was company comin' for dinner--and what do she do--she takes out a hair pin--jes a litty bitty hairpin--


BAMBI: I know, Ardelia--but we haven't time for that now. Hadn't you better go clear away the breakfast things. 


ARDELIA: Yes'm. (FADING) Always I gotta go clearin' away jes when things is gettin' interestin'. 


JARVIS: Can I work in your father's study, Bambi. 


BAMBI: In a minute, Jarvis . . . but first . . . would you mind looking at me? 


JARVIS: What? 


BAMBI: Look at me. 


JARVIS: I am looking at you--what--


BAMBI: Not just with your eyes. Look at me a minute--with--with your mind. 


JARVIS: Bambi, what's the matter with you? I've been here night after night--all summer long but you've never acted this way before. 


BAMBI: Do you like my looks, Jarvis? 


JARVIS: Of course I do! You're pretty. I might even say you were beautiful . . . but I can't see what in the world started all this. 


BAMBI: How about my disposition? Have you ever noticed that? 


JARVIS: Disposition? You've got a swell disposition. Good natured--and a pretty good sense of humor. 


BAMBI: And I'm also healthy and considerate. 


JARVIS: Considerate, yes--but I'm starting to worry a little bit about your health. Do you feel all right? I mean, what's back of all this? 


BAMBI: Jarvis, would you mind marrying me? 


JARVIS: Bambi, are you crazy? 


BAMBI: Maybe . . . will you, Jarvis?


JARVIS: Bambi--honestly, I don't think you know what you're saying. Or--or are you spoofing perhaps? 


BAMBI: No, Jarvis, I'm serious about this . . . I want you to marry me. 


JARVIS: But--but--Bambi--you can't be serious. 


BAMBI: But I am


JARVIS: Listen, Bambi--I mean look--you--you've got so many beaux and everything--do--do you mean to stand there and tell me that you actually want to marry me? 


BAMBI: That's just what I am telling you. 


JARVIS: I don't understand it! Bambi, marriage isn't any April Fool's joke. It's nothing to be funny about. 


BAMBI: For the last time, will you listen! I'm NOT being funny. I'm deadly earnest. And you're certainly not being very gallant about it--making me stand here and beg you for an answer. 


JARVIS: But my dear child. 


BAMBI: I'm not a child


JARVIS: Oh . . . ! My dear Bambi, I can understand a man's wanting to marry you but--just exactly why do you want to marry me of all people? 


BAMBI: Well . . . for one thing . . . because you need me. 


JARVIS: (VERY SURPRISED) I--need you? 


BAMBI: Yes. Well, maybe not me exactly . . . but somebody--somebody like me. 


JARVIS: Bambi--you're not making a bit of sense. 


BAMBI: (ANNOYED) Well, will you let me GO ON? 


JARVIS: Uh-uh--all right--go ahead. 


BAMBI: You need someone to look out for you--to see that you eat properly and darn your socks. Someone to protect you from irate landladies and bill collectors . . . but most of all, Jarvis, you need someone to give you a normal point of view. You're a clever writer--even a genius, maybe. But you write for yourself--not for an audience. You don't even know what the common people think about--or how they talk. I do, Jarvis. I know what the washwoman says when the boiler gets rusty and ruins her clothes. I know how old Mr. Heppelfinger feels when he hears he's the grandfather of twin boys. Oh, Jarvis--don't you see--you're all tied up in yourself. You need someone to put you in touch with life. 


JARVIS: Hhhh . . . well, you may be right about that . . . a dramatist does have to write about people, and somehow I don't seem to know very many . . . 


BAMBI: Of course you don't. You're practically a hermit. That's just why you need somebody to look after you. Jarvis, you're capable of being somebody important. You need somebody who understands . . . who'll help you go places! And I could do it! 


JARVIS: But, Bambi--this is all terribly sweet and generous of you--not to say downright quixotic--but just where do you figure in it? After all--to be perfectly honest with you--I--I--like you Bambi--but I don't love you. 


BAMBI: I know, Jarvis. But you--you don't love anyone else, do you? 


JARVIS: Lord, no! When have I ever had time for that sort of thing? 


BAMBI: I know that, too . . . maybe after--you've got a lot of these big ideas out of your system--maybe--later on--you might have time to grow a little fond of me. 


JARVIS: Well, I don't know, Bambi--I don't want to be rude about this thing--but I couldn't honestly promise anything . . . 


BAMBI: I don't expect you to, Jarvis. I don't expect anything at all. It would be what you dramatists call a marriage of convenience. 


JARVIS: I--I can see where it would be a convenience for me, Bambi. But I can't see what you could possibly get out of it. 


BAMBI: Don't worry about me, Jarvis. I've got my own ambitions. 


JARVIS: But I don't see how being married to me could help them. 


BAMBI: Why not? I'm interested in the theatre--you'll sell your play, and we'll go to New York, and meet heaps of famous people--do you think I want to stay here and stagnate in this backwater all my life? 


JARVIS: Why--I hadn't thought about it. 


BAMBI: Well, I have! I want to get out of this rut--and go places--and do things for goodness sakes, will you marry me and get [me out] of here? 


JARVIS: I admit it's an interesting idea Bambi--but it's--it's all so impractical--I mean--what would we live on then--and where? 


BAMBI: We could stay here with father. Just at first--until I work out something else. I'll have the old nursery on the third floor fixed over into a study-bedroom for you. You'd be absolutely undisturbed. 


JARVIS: Third floor--undisturbed. I could finish my play up there--and then--when it's sold--we could go to New York. 


BAMBI: Oh, yes, Jarvis--and you'll be rich and famous! I knew you'd say yes, after you'd just thought about it a little bit. 


JARVIS: It's mad . . . 


BAMBI: (INTERRUPTS) Absolutely! We'll get married today! 


JARVIS: Today


BAMBI: Why not? As long as we've made up our minds. 


JARVIS: But--what about a license or something? 


BAMBI: Oh, I'll attend to that--I'll telephone the minister right now--and we'll get married this afternoon. 


JARVIS: Yes, but--I mean . . . shouldn't I get a haircut--a shoe shine--or something? 


BAMBI: Certainly not--I'm taking you for better or for worse--besides you have more important things to do. 


JARVIS: What? 


BAMBI: Your play--you can use the professor's study 'till he gets back. I'll call you when I need you--just leave everything to me, Jarvis--I'll attend to everything. 


(MUSIC) 


PROFESSOR: (SHOUTS) Bambi--Oh. Bambi . . . 


BAMBI: Coming, father. 


PROFESSOR: Bambi--what is that young man doing in my study? 


BAMBI: Well, you see, father--I didn't expect you back so soon. That's Jarvis. He's been in there all day. 


PROFESSOR: I know it's Jarvis. Get him out of there. The man's crazy or something. I walked in and he shouted at me--"Get out--you'll get your money in due time." 


BAMBI: (LAUGHING) He thought you were the landlady . . . you see, Professor, Jarvis has got one of his working spells on and . . . 


PROFESSOR: Does he have to have it in my study? I've got some papers to correct Bambi--I--


BAMBI: It's all right, father--I'll have him moved upstairs right after the ceremony. 


PROFESSOR: Ceremony--what ceremony? 


BAMBI: The wedding. Jarvis has just acknowledged his willingness to marry me--so I've sent for the minister. 


PROFESSOR: Bambi--are you crazy? 


BAMBI: That's the second time today I've been asked that very personal question. (DOOR BELL RINGS) Oh--there he is now--the minister, I mean. (FADING AS SHE CALLS) It's all right, Ardelia--I'll go. 


PROFESSOR: Bambi--wait a minute--you don't realize what you're . . . 


(DISTANT DOOR OPENS) 


BAMBI. (AWAY) Oh, good afternoon, Doctor Peebles--come right in.

 

(DOOR CLOSES) 


PEEBLES: (FADING IN) Well, well, Miss Bambina--this is all rather sudden, isn't it? 


BAMBI: (ALSO FADING IN) Not particularly--I've been contemplating it for years. 


PEEBLES: Oh, good morning, Professor--I understand your daughter is about to become a bride. 


PROFESSOR: So she tells me. 


BAMBI: (FADING) You two stay right there. I'll go get the bridegroom. (CALLING) Ardelia--Ardelia--never mind the biscuits--come out and be a witness. 


ARDELIA: Land o'goshen--the way things happen in dis yere house sure is a caution. 


(DOOR OPENS) 


BAMBI: (FADING IN) All right, Jarvis--we're all ready. 


JARVIS: What? What'd you say? 


BAMBI: I want you to come out and meet the Reverend Doctor Peebles . . . the minister


JARVIS: I don't want . . . oh . . . oh, yes--of course--(IT ALL COMES BACK TO HIM) Oh . . . yes . . . of course. 


BAMBI: Come on, Jarvis--this really won't be painful. 


JARVIS: Bambi are you sure that you realize what this . . . 


BAMBI: (FADING IN) Here we are, Doctor Peebles. The shortest possible service if you please. You see, Jarvis is so busy today. 


PEEBLES: Ah yes, Bambi, now Professor Parkhurst--are you sure this is all right? 


PROFESSOR: Well, Bambi seems to be set on it . . . and anything Bambi . . . 


JARVIS: If it's the landlady he's worried about, Bambi--


BAMBI: That's all right, Jarvis. We attended to the landlady. Go ahead, Doctor Peebles. 


PEEBLES: Just one moment, please. Bambi--this young man--


BAMBI: I know he acts a little strange--but he's not drunk or drugged--he's just full of a magnificent idea--for the curtain of a second act. 


PEEBLES: Professor--have you known this man long? 


PROFESSOR: Ah--have we, Bambi? 


BAMBI: Of course we have--six years. He's been a tutor right here in this school since I was sixteen. 


PEEBLES: Well--of course--that makes a difference--I suppose. 


BAMBI: Oh yes, indeed. 


PEEBLES: Very well then--if you will join hands . . . No--no--your right hand, sir. Dearly beloved, we are gathered together-- 


(THE MUSIC GOES INTO A STRAIN OF THE WEDDING MARCH--OR "OH PROMISE ME" OUT OF WHICH COMES PEEBLES' VOICE) 


PEEBLES: And so I pronounce you man and wife. 


PROFESSOR: Well . . . uh . . . children . . . uh . . . God bless you . . . 


ARDELIA: Mistah Jarvis, ain't yo' goin' to kiss the bride? 


BAMBI: It's--it's quite customary, Jarvis. 


JARVIS: Well . . . all right . . . I . . . (PAUSE) Bambi . . . 


BAMBI: There, you see, it didn't kill you. 


JARVIS: No . . . that is . . . on the contrary. 


PEEBLES: I guess I'll be going. My felicitations, Mrs. Trent--I wish you every happiness. 


BAMBI: Thank you. 


PROFESSOR: I'll see you to the door, Dr. Peebles. (FADES) 


ARDELIA: (ALSO FADES) Mm--yes, to think my Miss Bambi's a grown up married lady--You don't look no different honey. 


BAMBI: I--I feel a little strange--Mrs. Jarvis Trent. 


ARDELIA: Well--reckon ah'd better be gittin' back to my biscuits--(FADING) Ah only hopes dey ain't done burned on me--


BAMBI: Well . . . Jarvis . . . We've done it. We're married. 


JARVIS: I know it. Bambi--I'm worried. It--it all happened so fast. Maybe we should have taken more time to consider. I hope we haven't made a terrible mistake. 


BAMBI: Oh, Jarvis--I'm sure we haven't . . . But if we have--if you ever want to be free--I promise I won't try to hold you. 


JARVIS: I--I didn't mean that, Bambi. I was thinking about you. Married to me. I'm not--well, I'm not a very dependable person, you know. Not--not a person anybody'd want for a husband . . . somehow. 


BAMBI: I wanted you, Jarvis. 


JARVIS: So it seems . . . But I'm darned if I see why, Bambi . . . It . . . it sort of worries me. 


BAMBI: Now look, darling--you've got loads of important work to do--so just stop worrying about being married, and go on back to your play! Will you? . . . 


JARVIS: Really? You're sure you don't mind--I would like to finish that second act . . . 


BAMBI: Well, you go right ahead and finish it! 


JARVIS: (FADING) It's going to be good, you know--even better than I hoped! 


(DOOR SLAM) 


BAMBI: Oh, Jarvis--darling--I do hope you won't mind too much. 


(PROFESSOR . . . FADING IN . . . COUGHING) 


BAMBI: Oh--hello father--I though you'd gone out with the minister. 


PROFESSOR: I did. But I--I came back. (PAUSE) Well, Bambi. 


BAMBI: Well, Professor. 


PROFESSOR: I don't know what to say. I know I'm an absent-minded old idiot . . . but I'm not as blind as you might think--and after all you're my only chick and child. I do want you to be happy--and I don't know about this--this marriage. 


BAMBI: Neither do I, Professor. Maybe it won't work. But there's one thing I do know--I wouldn't be happy anywhere in the world away from Jarvis. 


PROFESSOR: Bambi--do you love him so very much? 


BAMBI: Oh yes, Professor. Terribly. So much it hurts me to breathe sometimes. When--when I see him coming up the street--something happens to me. It's like--like being run over by a steam roller--sort of. I feel so limp I can hardly stand. But then I pull myself together and run like everything--so I'll get to the door before he does. He's everything in life to me, Professor. I've got to help him--take care of him--be with him all the time. Nothing else makes any sense. Did you ever feel like that, father? 


PROFESSOR: Once, Bambi. It was your mother. That's why I didn't try to stop the wedding. 


BAMBI: Then you do understand, darling. I had to do it. I had to do it--I had to. 


PROFESSOR: Mm--well--in that case--but don't let him think he can go borrowing my ties and socks. 


BAMBI: (LAUGHS) He won't--I promise. 


PROFESSOR: In the first place they wouldn't look good on him. That's--that's what worries me about him Bambi. 


BAMBI: His socks and ties. 


PROFESSOR: No--he's--he's so unlike other people, Bambi. 


BAMBI: He's a genius, Professor. 


PROFESSOR: Perhaps--but a genius is very hard to live with, my dear. It's a tremendous gamble you've taken. 


BAMBI: But it's worth it, Professor. And it's going to work out. It's got to--it's got to. 


(MUSIC UP TO CURTAIN) 


ANNOUNCER: In just a moment Helen Hayes is planning to give you a little curtain-speech, and in the meantime I'd like to say a word or two--I want to call your attention to this one thing: many people who suffer through sleepless nights do so because they refuse to give up their coffee. For, of course, the caffein that's in most coffees undoubtedly does keep lots of us awake. But it's an easy matter nowadays to enjoy both your coffee and your sleep . . . Sanka Coffee makes that possible. Ninety-seven percent of the caffein has been taken out of Sanka Coffee so that absolutely everyone can enjoy it without anyone later sacrificing a single wink of sleep. And remember that Sanka Coffee is a fine, fragrant, full-flavored coffee . . . rich and mellow . . . thoroughly delicious. So it's a real pleasure to drink Sanka Coffee . . . and now you can buy Sanka Coffee at the lowest price in its entire history. Now here's the star of our program, Miss Helen Hayes . . . 


MISS HAYES: I--I just want you to know how terribly happy I am to be back with you again. And I . . . I naturally hope you're happy to have me. I thought we had a fine time last year . . . that's why you don't seem at all like a strange audience to me, but more like . . . quite a lot of old friends. I'd like you to feel that way, too . . . that we're just taking up where we left off last Spring . . . even though I'm Bambi this year instead of Penelope Edwards. It's . . . it's really quite a lot like old times here in the studio tonight . . . you remember Wilmer Walter who played the doctor in "The New Penny," well . . . he's going to be my father in "Bambi." Edith Meiser is here, too . . . she wrote "The New Penny," and now she's writing "Bambi" . . . or rather, adapting it from the novel. Then there's Mark Warnow, who's with us again to direct and arrange all the music on our program. And Bill Adams has returned to tell you about our old friend, Sanka Coffee. So you see in addition to our reunion with you, we're having a reunion amongst ourselves as well. We're also welcoming some brand-new members to our cast . . . James Meeghan is one of them . . . he's playing Jarvis Trent, my leading man. We're all of us anxious to give you the best performances we can . . . and all I can say is that if you enjoy listening to "Bambi" as much as we want you to enjoy it . . . well then we'll have lots of grand and glorious weeks ahead. 


(THEME UP AND DOWN FOR:) 


ANNOUNCER: As a husband, Jarvis Trent's been a pretty bewildered young man so far. But next week he surprises everyone . . . even Bambi . . . by putting his foot down in a very forthright, husbandly manner. Join us again in the Sanka Coffee Playhouse next MONDAY evening at this same time, when Helen Hayes will again star in the title role of "Bambi," brought to you by Sanka Coffee. And here's a piece of radio news . . . tomorrow night over many of these same stations the Dude Ranch program will have its premiere, featuring those unusual and popular entertainers, The Westerners. Be sure to listen in. William Adams speaking for Sanka Coffee . . . good night . . and good rest.

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