At the level of Understanding, we choose between placing a greater valuation on intelligence and expertise or placing a greater valuation in wisdom and embeddedness. Attention directed into intelligence will likely increase one’s expertise but probably will not directly support greater personal development. Attention directed into wisdom and embeddedness marshals one’s intention for the movement into Appreciation.
Understanding is more subtle than activity, and Appreciation is more subtle than Understanding. We practice consistency and subtlety of attention as depth, breadth, and accuracy of Understanding and as continuity and diversity of Appreciation. This combination encourages for bringing more emotional and conceptual power (intensity) to bear in subtler application and experience. This greater incorporation of power (one’s ability to intentionally, accurately, and flexibly apply more power) is a key difference between Appreciation and Clarity. Increased familiarity with subtlety improves one’s awareness of subtle channels, removing attentional interference or noise or distraction, allowing for more power to be expressed subtly. Clogged pipes restrict flow; impurities in copper wiring reduce the delivery of power by turning electricity into heat somewhere along the way before the destination is arrived at. In the same way that “purer” wiring allows efficient delivery of more power than adulterated metals allow, subtler and more consistent attention allows more power to be applied benevolently (rather than malevolently or patronizingly).
With mindful appreciation, we practice subtlety of attention at (usually) fairly low levels of intensity. With Clarity, we kick it up a notch. Bam!
It appears at this point that men are neurophysiologically set for greater ability/affiliation with concentration (Defining-knowing) and women with Appreciation. If so, women may have to put more effort into concentration to develop more than a passable level of competence. Men would have to do the same with Appreciation. What I find interesting about this is that phenomenology is always idiosyncratic, unique, but attention is not gender-specific or culture-bound. An expert level of concentration is actually helpful in stabilizing Appreciation, so lacking in either of these attentional abilities will work against developing familiarity with Clarity or flow. Too little ability in concentration will cause wavering and inconstancy, and too much investment in concentration will cause rigidity.
I’d like to go back to my original paragraph and the distinction between intelligence and wisdom. With too much focus on intelligence or individuality, intelligent understanding will tend to retain exclusive dichotomies. This is part of why we have trouble in our culture talking about gender differences–we act too much as if the differences are exclusive rather than descriptive. We make the mistake of trying to be inclusive rather than descriptive. More accurate observation will allow for more accurate, richer description, which will support a more mature and more adequate common understanding.
Here’s where mindfulness comes in–with observation. Focused mindfulness preempts dualisms. By that, I mean that if you’re pouring all your attention into a focus on sensations, you’ll have a hard time opinionating about whatever you’re focusing on–you’ll be too focused. Holding any particular content in nonjudgemental awareness changes our relation to that content as well as changing our relationship to habitual judgements concerning that content. Focused mindfulness can function as an eraser of the connection between the judgments and the content. One major mistake here is to believe that judgement is a horrible thing. It’s not. It just doesn’t apply as often or as powerfully as most people assume it does. So mindfulness carried out over a period of time has the effect of changing how much we endorse or rely on our judgements. Judgement is still available to us, but we become more able to change judgements about particular content, and we also become less driven by judgement in general.
Because “mindfulness” is fairly new to American culture, we have a tendency to be fuzzy about what mindfulness is, and our particular cultural fuzziness at this point tends to encourage the rejection of thinking rather than more specifically encouraging a qualitatively different relationship with thinking. It is good to have verbal-thinking available, but sometimes we need to rely more on observation. In most meditative systems, perhaps all, initiates practice expanding their ability to observe before making judgement calls. Attention put into observation is unavailable for conceptualization at any given moment, and vice versa. That’s why guys turn down car stereos when they’re trying to find something, “Shhhh, I need to concentrate (observe).” Women are more likely to find their flow with more going on in their awareness, even if the contents are each paid a little less attention individually.
Moments of relaxed or novel mindfulness deconstruct dichotomies or reduce personal investment in dichotomies. This deconstruction is slightly different than what occurs with very focused mindfulness. What I’m calling novel mindfulness occurs when something novel catches our attention. What I’m calling relaxed mindfulness tends to incorporate awareness of more than one object of concentration. This is also called bare awareness. This deconstruction of dichotomies occurs especially in personal relationships. Relaxing without turning away, relaxing while continuing to “be with” observationally and perhaps even emotionally, has the effect of making the higher/lower role relationship more permeable. The desire to dominate, conciliate, fight, or escape diminishes. When one partner’s reliance on hierarchical strategies relaxes, the other partner is allowed to relax that reliance on habitual strategies of negotiating dominance/submission. Strategies for interaction become more intentional as they become less impulsive, less habitual, less instinctual, less forced. Stress becomes less personalized, and this also reduces pressure since blame and complaints are no longer seen as so interesting or helpful. What is interesting is that, within a couple, dominance may remain as a very enjoyable game–but the degree of demand or conflict diminishes.
Choosing wisdom over intelligence involves flexibility around self-boundaries which we practice in our relationships, then, by interacting based more on intention and less on impulsivity or emotional reactivity. We remain emotional but reduce reactivity at the same time that we reduce repression. As the relationship becomes clearer, cleaner, we can increase the levels of intensity which it will comfortably sustain. Who doesn’t like comfortable intensity–that’s excitement!
As we rely less on higher/lower role responses, we increase our emotional valuation of the other as a person. We rely less on dismissal or “already knowing” how to respond to them and pay more attention simultaneously to their humanity and our own humanity. Mindfulness in this aspect of relating involves looking/feeling/speaking with an openness towards information that is more specific, more unique, than expectations and judgements. Our relationships become more exciting the less we believe we already know how specific moments of interacting will turn out. When we have the ability to relax when necessary, more attention means more excitement. When we don’t have the ability to relax when necessary, more attention can get out of hand and lead to more conflict. Appreciation involves proportion. A part of our time should be very intense–but we might as well make that the moments of resonance. A part of our time should be much more relaxed–this should sometimes be spent comfortably, sometimes spent dealing with problems.
We gradually replace a preponderance of emotional habituation (simplification) and social withdrawal (for relaxation) with social skills, a sense of deepening communion, and intentional inclusion of others into our lives. The tenor of our relationships shifts when we include others based on appreciation rather than primarily based on neediness. As we become more balanced, more stable, we are able to handle greater degrees of intensity with aplomb. We are able to retain our joy even in moments of extreme challenge. When our relaxation is strong, instead of being “adrenaline junkies” who need intensity, we appreciate relaxation and we appreciate intensity. Relaxation will allow us to stabilize where we stand, and intensity that does not involve malevolence or addiction will move us towards Clarity. Mindfulness encourages for appreciation of the present, now as a living moment.
Mindfulness opens the door to moving beyond the habit of personalizing psychological suffering. When we are mindful, personal limitations provide texture and history to a sense of self rather than causing more suffering. Circumstances are viewed as circumstances rather than as “my” problems. Rather than putting our attention into the judgements of like/dislike, more attention goes into observing. The more accurate our observations, the more we experience at any given moment that we can select out as appreciable.
Copyright 2007 Todd Mertz