Moving towards internal absorption (internal samadhi) through either intention or exhaustion provides different experiences, although both might be done in awareness and both might arrive at similar states or the same state of union. In speaking of intention, I am speaking of beginning meditation in the waking state, while in speaking of exhaustion here, I am speaking of naturally becoming tired at the end of the day.
Through exhaustion, we simply utilize the natural drift towards sleep from wakefulness through intermediate (bardo) states, into dreaming, deep sleep, and intermediate states into waking. Awareness is invited into exhaustion. This may loosely be called dream yoga. We pursue, or sink into, union (yoga or yug) in these different “states” or fluctuations in consciousness.
With meditation in the waking state, relaxation is invited into meditative focus; one moves through various bardo states to internal absorption.
With either approach, there is a clarification of one’s experience of or awareness of subtle energies or subtle states as one moves towards stabilization of awareness. Greater degrees of stabilization promote greater degrees of clarity (less “noise”) but not necessarily a wider range or increased intensity of possible experience. Intensity may seem to increase with clarity because there is less distraction. (As a footnote, longer moments of greater intensity may be more likely to encode in accessible memory.)
Due to psychological transference and the habit of dominating others by playing on their negative motivations, bringing stability of focus into relationships often feels oppressive, forced. Effort is put into not-doing–this is usually just confusing and nonproductive. It may be more enjoyable to understand developing relaxation as active but not forced (as direct doing instead of as putting effort into not-doing) or to increase intensity to the point of breakthrough (either ecstatic or insightful), since people often simultaneously expect or are wary of domination while hoping for breakthroughs.
There is a difference between trying to force stabilization of the individual will and attempting to realize union (as in samadhi). Union may be stable with or without force or intensity. Attempting stability in relationship may often feel as if one is attempting to impose their will on the other since union is preexistent, not requiring any efforts or attempts or force. Group meditation where the group is “just sitting” (shikantaza) allows each person to either sort out their own motivations or allow them to settle without interpersonal power dynamics intruding.
When one is not intentionally moving towards dissolution of psychological boundaries, it is natural to be motivated towards enjoyment, joy, lila, the dance of creation. The purpose of individuality is in-joyment of reality; integrity or union or stability has no need of purpose. One might enjoy individual moments or individual beings. As human beings, we experience joy in a multitude of ways: satisfaction of desires, communion, comprehension, invention, play, mastery, art, moving towards union, etc.
Greater consistency in intentional effort allows greater consistency of joyful awareness. Joyful awareness is effortlessly flexible, creative, playful.
Copyright 2007 Todd Mertz