ESSAYS

Pennies and Pounds

When people come for counseling, they want two things. The first is a response to the immediate situation. (What do I do now?) The second is something along the lines of a plan or a path. (Where do I go?) Part of the difficulty is that, in trying to be helpful, people have usually focused on either the immediate moment or the end result–and most often from one particular perspective or another. It may be that each perspective–and the differences between perspectives–is not the problem. It may be that the inability to consistently tie the immediate moment to long-term goals (including connecting with the eternal) is where the problem lies. It may be that the difficulty lies in welcoming individual agency in a living, organic, changing manner while relying on certainty in that which remains unchanged. So the question may be very much about how we allow and enjoy individuality in a world where we can learn from so many comparisons. How do we encourage difference and communion at the same time? It may be quite simple.

People often assume that dissatisfaction is the ground of being or the standard way of life. This generally accepted assumption of the background of reality may be somewhat accurate. From a depressed mentality, the world appears to be depressing. From an angry mentality, the world appears to be a battlefield. (What occurs when an angry man becomes depressed?) But I would posit the possibility that the ground of being and a mediocre way of living are not the same thing. Life may be something other than mediocre, something other than boring or meaningless or just an extension of apathy or suffering or dissatisfaction.

State-specific thinking directs attention, shaping perceptions. I have seven steps to offer in the way out of dissatisfaction. These steps can be applied in very brief moments or applied in a more extended situation. Sometimes fast is better than slow and vice versa.

The first step is to recognize the difference between background and immediate reality. While my brain may present a mix of “depressive” neurochemicals, these neurochemicals are not me. They mix together and affect how I feel, but they are not me–they are background, they are the chemical bath in which my active consciousness is functioning. Then there is also the accepted skepticism that reality is difficult and unsatisfying. This viewpoint is pervasive in the media, although there are plenty of people offering alternative viewpoints. In America at this time, we assume cynicism–also background. That may be as much posing or posturing as it is an accurate reflection of reality. It is not my aim to pose. I think there is something to living that posing cannot access. So the first step is to recognize the chemical mix and the posing, the background of neurochemistry, assumptions, and opinions. My personal opinionating affects how much I believe in posing. My personal sense of awareness affects how much of a sense of openness I live with at each moment. So the first step is about developing and stabilizing an understanding that allows progress. I recognize the situational, social, and physical background, but decide on my own.

The second step is to question how much I endorse habitual opinions. It is most effective to accept whatever thought arises out of the background situation I am in. When I notice the background, I can notice the current thought. I accept it for what it is. But I may not endorse it. I may not put extra belief or energy behind it. I may recognize a cynical belief as a cynical belief, but then let go of it because I do not believe in or endorse that thought. Are people good or evil? I may let go of opinionating and put my attention into reality. In this step, I am focusing attention on a sense of personal agency and reliance on reality as opposed to reliance on emotional thinking.

The first part of the third step is to breathe deeply. So, the process to this point is to recognize the situation or background and accept it, then choose to endorse or not endorse habitual opinionating, then, breathe deeply. Breathing deeply creates a break in the habitual process so that one step does not need to lead to another. Breathing deeply allows one to return to oneself. Instead of relying only on the immediate situation, we rely on our own sense of internal balance. Breathing helps with that. Since breathing is immediate and physical, breathing intentionally brings mind and body together. It also brings the present together with memory and with hopes for the future. So breathe mindfully. Then either relax from an overly anxious thought, or replace whatever currently inaccurate thought occurs with one that is more realistic. So the third step is to breathe and embrace relaxation or reality. This is an opening that allows us to redirect our attention. We reconnect with our body in the present moment and then decide to move forward.

While the third step integrates body and mind, the fourth step begins integrating potential and actuality. The fourth step, after deciding where our intention lies, is to physically and actively engage the situation we are in. We begin with noticing things as they are, expanding our awareness (after the third step of redirecting or unsticking our attention). We move towards what things can be by acting. We take the first step in the journey of ten thousand miles. It may be a short first step or a long one. However that may be, we recognize our willingness to take the next step and take it.

The fifth step is to stabilize the ability to choose where attention is directed. This is something that is done in every immediate moment, it is done repetitively whenever we question or stray, it is done whenever we hope and are willing to make that hope real. This step is a connection between individual will and meditation. The will relaxes in meditation; meditation finds consistency and expression in will. By establishing potential or openness in present awareness, we align our actions and eventually our world with potential. This is not dreaming because we act. It is not idealism because it is unavoidable. We discover what we feel we must embrace and embrace it wholeheartedly. Certainty comes from commitment; stability comes from the unavoidability of reality.

From the step where we practice our ability to stabilize attention, we look to establish personal choice in reality, in physical and social surroundings. It is unnecessary to attempt to dominate social or physical surroundings. Rather, we look for, and find, accord. This means that there will be changes in our expectations, in our plans, as well as changes in the situation, in reality. At this step, we must decide to pursue either the particulars or the purpose of our intentions (the letter or spirit of the law, the next immediate step or the direction of the journey). Intention without action is groundless; action without intention is pointless. This is the sixth step. After learning stability, we apply that stability in a flexible manner that accords with how things are while changing how things are. We bring flow, experience flow, create flow, create progress, and appreciate improvement.

The seventh step is the hermeneutic process between social inclusion and exploration of reality. When we have some sense of our intention and some consistency in our application of intention, we run into other people and circumstances that are not already how we would choose them to be. The seventh step is inclusion–including other people and reality in general into our intention. This is considered to be a separate step because it should be made explicit. It is important to consider the opinions of others. Absolute power corrupts because absolute distance separates. Instead of simply trying to ignore others and move ahead, we realize that change affects everyone, we respect that change affects everyone, we appreciate that others affect and inform and inspire ourselves.

In a momentary sense, this is the process we follow. In a long-term sense, this is the process we follow. The purpose of life is to take our inherent motivation and abilities and apply them to an appreciative engagement with the world. By developing personal purpose, understanding, and appreciation, we open the door to clarity or flow, which allows graceful activity through the realization of immanence. This is the practice of balancing will and wisdom, compassion for self and compassion for others. In this way, we only go straight–straight from personal desire through understanding of the situation to appreciation of who and where we are to clarity of awareness to nonreliance on conceptuality in our actions to the realization of abiding divinity or reality. In other words, we learn to invite appreciation into each moment, every thing. We mindfully take care of the pennies and allow pounds to take care of themselves. With experience in this process, we develop certainty and wonder in pounds taking care of themselves, we develop wonder and certainty in caring.