Schrodinger's Deal Or No Deal

When quantum mechanics meets Noel Edmonds.


Shrödinger’s conceptual experiment posited that if a cat were placed in a box with a canister of poison gas, the release of which were triggered by a nucleus with a 50/50 chance of decaying, according to quantum mechanic theory, until the box were opened, the cat would exist in a simultaneous state of death and non-death, only resolved when the lid of the box was lifted. It exposed the implications of early quantum theory to the "real" world. 

Which sounds a great idea for a game show to sell to international markets.

Noel Edmonds was the perfect choice as host for this game show, as he is also in a simultaneous state of death and life. We all remember him as the failed DJ turned family entertainer who killed people. But yet he’s on a £3 million contract with Endemol and nominated for a BAFTA. At the same time.

                Dead                                                                           Alive


 Of course, gambling is illegal on British television – the law insists that such shows be games of skill. And that’s where Shrödinger’s Deal or No Deal comes in. The contestants must make skilled judgements over which box to open, which probablility waveform to collapse, resolving to the death or life of the potentialcat in question and whether or not to accept an offer from a mysterious banker who both makes a call to a telephone and solely exists inside Noel’s head. It’s both gambling and not gambling. At the same time. With the lives of twenty ginger tomcats at stake. 


Mark went on the show to play it for himself.


"You have to choose, Mark. Whose box contains a dead cat and whose has a living moggy?"


 "Celia. I choose Celia's box. She's my sister."

 "I do not wish to know that. Remember, you want a live cat."

 "I know, Noel."

 "Not a dead one."

 "I know, Noel." 

 "Okay Celia, open your box for us... good luck Mark..."


 "Oh Celia, you've let us down... sorry Mark, you chose a box with..."


 "No! You did it! The cat lives! He was just having a kip! Well done Mark! Well done Celia! What skill!"

 "Thanks Noel. I..."



 "Hello? Is that the banker? What are you offering? A five year deal presenting this show for squillions of pounds? Deal!"


Unmissable television. And unmitigated shite. At the same time.