A tickertape of texts, emails and images sent from the San Diego Comic Convention to a small house in South West London
25/07/08: 22:18 TXT: Shut it with the hygiene jokes
25/07/08: 10:42 EMAIL: FAKE SDCC NEWS: Pixar slated to adapt Chaykin's Black Kiss for summer 2012
25/07/08: 09:53 EMAIL: Our publisher got a 3-day pass from his rehab center in Tijuana, and is traveling to San Diego
25/07/08: 0025 TXT: have just graffittid HOMOPHOBES SUCK in hyatt bathroom someone take a photo
24/07/08: 23:30 EMAIL: I see Heidi has noticed you again. I think she wants you to do her job for her.
24/07/08: 22:59 TXT: Grab my tits again and you will die
24/07/08: 21:01 TXT: is it wrong as a straight man to want to sleep with john barrowman?
24/07/08: 09:47 PIC:
24/07/08: 03:36 AOL: Had a great jetblue flight out to Con, which i think has a fabulous energy so far.... on da plane:, Kyle Baker, Kim Deitch, John Cassaday, Chip Kid, Fred Van Lente, Ryan Dunlevey, Joe Infurnari, i felt like getting up and conducting a panel discussion
23/07/08 23:45 TXT: Collen Doran has great hair and a sweet corner booth. BOOM! & Giant Robot are very well staffed. Princess Pub has perfect pints. Sent from the Batphone
23/07/08 09:48 PIC:
23/07/08 09:45 PIC:
21/07/08 15:00 TXT: this year star trek banners greet you at the airport
21/07/08 05:55 TXT: comics: putting the ton in rotund since the great depression
21/07/08 05:24 TXT: monday i've got sunday on my mind
21/07/08 05:18 TXT: it begins. 3 carts of short boxes, 1 discussion about ra's al ghul, 1 patrick the wolf boy cap & some dc buttons on straps at jfk
29/07/07 17:35 TXT: Capcom booth has nice plush carpet
29/07/07 16:05 EMAIL: new hulk movie concept art
29/07/07 16:01 PIC:
29/07/07 01:05 TXT: i am tedious : drunk
29/07/07 00:41 TXT: Today's best costumes: Drunk Boba Fett and Pimp Vader.
28/07/07 23:20 TXT: Dealers report diminished Saturday sales because there's no new money in the room. All the LA people with jobs were unable to drive down and buy a ticket today, meaning it's more pre-reg 3 or 4 day than casual consumers who don't choose comic-con as a vacation. The new paradigm of a sold out San Diego will require many adjustments.
28/07/07 22:52 TXT: Slave Leia was purchased at the discount servitude market by the pound.
28/07/07 22:34 TXT: Overheard: Jeez, I didn't think Warren Ellis would be such a dick. I
thought it was like an act and stuff. I mean, I bought every issue of
Nextwave, I pay his rent, you know?
28/07/07 22:06 TXT: Good lord – two furries are sucking face at the masquerade afterparty. And I mean they're nuzzling the noses on their masks together and have been for the last 4 minutes, while pawing each other up. Who knew a fox and a bear could find so much in common.
28/07/07 19:06 TXT: What this show really needs is a fatty cart drag race.
28/07/07 18:45 TXT: The Witchblade model at the Funimation booth was the perfect representation of what First Born is all about: a haggard middle-aged woman with a passable figure and a willingness to show her tits to distract from her face.
28/07/07 18:32: Drunk Boba Fett has it going on! In his snazzy suit and cocktail in hand, he's staggering into signage and just looking like a badass.
28/07/07 18:33 PICS:
28/07/07 17:47 TXT: Met robert downey jr in a tony stark suit. Movie is gonna be awesome. He is tony stark
28/07/07 17:00 TXT: There's so much cellulite at this con. If I see any more cellulite I might just get into the lipsuction business and perform it badly.
28/07/07 16:48 TXT: The zoning in this place needs to change. A - C are busy, but not crazy, whereas D - H are a madhouse. On the floor, all the bodies are crammed in between the giant displays, and then they go upstairs to Hell Hall, all on the same side of the building. Next year the zoning needs to be different -- either hollywood booths need to be put in A - C while programming stays where it is, or the hollywood booths need to be staggered all over the hall, as if in an amusement park. Anything less will be a safety hazard within 2 years.
28/07/07 16:39 TXT: No one here knows how to walk. And don't stop for pictures in front of the main entrance, you fucking retards.
28/07/07 16:10 TXT: I'm tired of fat people in stormtrooper costumes. I'm tired of fat people wearing lycra when they shouldn't be. Grow up and figure out that you can't be wearing this shit.
28/07/07 15:40 TXT: Honey, wear a pair of underpants. Wear a fucking skirt that doesn't let your cellulite shine through.
28/07/07 15:06 TXT: The guy returned the comic because one of the staples was defective. I wonder if he'll return his stomach, because those staples don't seem to be holding up so well either.
28/07/07 13.52 TXT: squishy nerd sex. it's the worst.
28/07/07 12:27 TXT: Kevin smith at heroes panel: "I don't want to be the guy that fucks up heroes"
28/07/07 02:24 TXT: The Hyatt is like the edited for television version of Caligula. Nothing but assholes and bad behavior.
28/07/07 02:17 TXT: I feel so sorry for the past-prime strippers who have been reduced to Comic-Con booth decoration. they really planned poorly for the future.
28/07/07 01:01 TXT: Seen on the sidewalk between the Convention Center and the Horton Grand: A stormtrooper on a bike-taxi.
28/07/07 00:28 TXT: Honey, just because it looks sexy, doesn't mean it looks sexy on you.
28/07/07 00:24 TXT: fat men with bad tattoos. the accumulation of sweat and failure. she waddles in her elf costume queen of all inferior men.
27/07/07 23:12 TXT: oceans of ugly. waves of bloat and nachos lapping on the shores of abject mediocrity. an obese beachcomber wears a batman costume and asks how much he's worth. more dead than alive is the best i can muster.
27/07/07 22:59 TXT: flesh folds like the envelopes of giants. dripping beads of sweat as if from olympian tongues after onions. tiny creatures like pubic lice in their outsized tshirts reeking of superiority and mayonnaise. gods to insects, they surround me.
27/07/07 22:48 TXT: ungroomed, unbathed, and ugly as a humid autopsy. these fucks look with condescending fanboy judgment at our wares. they should do the same with the foodstained clothes clinging to their abundant flesh.
27/07/07 22:42 TXT: in lieu of pants she wore vinyl underwear which made her resemble an overstuffed waste vat. her flesh tattooed with flabby disney animals -- a woodland abbatoir after the neutron bomb. her cat ears and tail signified that she was yiffy. the smell, of course, preceded her.
27/07/07 22:31 TXT: Like watching a documentary on how the embalming process works, everyone should attend the Eisner Awards just once.
27/07/07 22:21 TXT: The Stay Puft Marshmallow Mom is on stage. I feel like I'm in detention.
27/07/07 22:18 TXT: They say the Eisners are the Oscars of comics. That's true. They make me feel like the muppet that lives in the trash and hates everything.
27/07/07 22:12 TXT: I should get an honorary AARP membership just for sitting here.
27/07/07 22:03 TXT: Nothing like disco music playing while Paul Levitz strides onto the stage.
27/07/07 21:50 TXT: Oh boy -- here comes the litany of the dead. Half these people got no applause when they were alive, what the fuck are you hypcrites clapping for now? Oh yeah, it's a way to circulate the blood and stay awake.
27/07/07 21:45 TXT: The Talent Deserving of Wider Recognition is brevity.
27/07/07 21:23 TXT: People wonder why the Eisners are underattended. Let's see. They're too long, too boring, have all the entertainment value of routine dental work, and are in a room large enough to serve as a helicopter hangar. Put it in an 800 seat room and be done with it. Make it small and snappy. The rows and rows of empty seats just embarrass everyone.
27/07/07 20:55 TXT: Jesus, I feel really sorry for the people who win one of these awards. They have to sit through the whole damn thing to take the photo at the end.
27/07/07 20:25 TXT: I wish Arnold Drake were still alive. That old coot had a sense of humor.
27/07/07 20:07 TXT: Good god, I kinda miss that asshole in the white suit from last year who was heckling these things. Annoying as that hideous douchebag was, it at least gave this room some life.
27/07/07 19:23 TXT: This place is like an Alex Ross comic: smug & boring with a self-inflated sense of grandeur.
27/07/07 18:55 TXT: Best costume of the day: Darth Homer
27/07/07 18:40 TXT: I wish I remember what it was like to actually like comics.
27/07/07 18:19 TXT: I want taacccooosssssss
27/07/07 16:45 TXT: So exhausted. Saw a pimp Superman walking around though.
27/07/07 16:19 TXT: Good god -- Sunday just sold out. It's pretty weird when San Diego information sounds like FEMA bulletins if FEMA actually knew what it was doing.
EDITORIAL INTERJECTION - new RichAndMark YouTube video launches- 'Barack Obama, Copacabana' - EDITORIAL INTERJECTION ENDS
27/07/07 12.23 EMAIL: And it all leads to this trailer... which we've already seen before it was YouTube yanked.
27/07/07 11:57 PICS:
27/07/07 11:11 TXT: img pnl all v chummy. no 1 askng qs abt y thy dont h8 each othr nw
27/07/07 09:16 TXT: Weird, homeless guy shaving in the horton plaza fountain. I'm awake too early I guess.
27/07/07 06:05 EMAIL: Supergirl Vs Wonder Woman
27/07/07 04:04 PIC - hot fuzz cosplay
27/07/07 03:44 EMAIL: The crowd parted perfectly around an obstacle. When I reached it I saw it was Rob Liefeld. One of his short boxes had fallen off the hand truck and comics had scattered everywhere. Not a soul helped him pick them up. I hated to be a joiner, but I wouldn't either.
27/07/07 03:40 EMAIL: The elevator stank of beer sweat and vomit.
27/07/07 03:36 EMAIL: Overheard at the Marriott Cab line, 7:09 PM
SheGoth: We'll just get behind these guys and head over to Stardust. We'll make it
HeGoth: Screw that, we'll just wait until Neil comes down.
SheGoth: They really shouldn't have his name on the card to announce his limo. I once saw that with Gary Coleman and he was mobbed.
HeGoth: Yeah, but we're the only ones who noticed Neil's. I wonder if he'll give us a ride over cuz we're his fans.
27/07/07 03:32 EMAIL: Obesity is the new bulemia.
27/07/07 02:12 TXT: doctor who's hand made an appearance at sdcc and it is a fan of robert kirkman
27/07/07 01:35 TXT: there's a star wars little people boat at san diego?
27/07/07 01:10 TXT: guess he's not having that much fun playing with dc toys.
27/07/07 00:50 EMAIL: To be announced tomorrow: Mark Waid, Editor-In-Chief at Boom Studios!
27/07/07 00:14 TXT: who snitched about the YouTube vid?
26/07/07 23:24 TXT: the Hyatt waitresses know they're being written about on the internet. One tried to give me her myspace page but I lost it.
26/07/07 23:11 EMAIL: Saw a little person today. Asked him which Star Wars film he was in. Turns out he was just a comics fan - and angry he missed the Star Wars little people boat.
26/07/07 22:58 TXT: the cbr boat - newsrama must be pissed they didn't think of it
26/07/07 22:35 TXT: too much skin. not enough clothes.
26/07/07 13:55 AOL IM: Dark Knight Returns teasers
26/07/07 13:54 AOL IM: heh Heath Ledger's vocal performance as the Joker is very Jack Nicholson
26/07/07 12:26 PICS:
26/07/07 12:25 EMAIL: one-legged model promoting PLANET TERROR. i thought she was a statue, at first.
26/07/07 10:30 EMAIL: boba fett & slave leia step over the bums on 5th ave. 'spare change?' asks the toothless man. sorry, leia says, no pockets.
26/07/07 10:04 AOL IM: check into the softball ebay thing. I heard a strong rumour last night that the serious mega DC fan who's winning the bid for the DC spot is legally blind
26/07/07 09:56 TXT: Hyatt bar closing at 2am is LAME
26/07/07 09:24 TXT: alright alright who nicked your handbag
EDITORIAL INTERJECTION - NO IT WASN'T RICH JOHNSTON, I'M IN LONDON, CAN'T GO TO SAN DIEGO THIS YEAR YOU INSENSITIVE ARSES - EDITORIAL INTERJECTION ENDS
26/07/07 09:22 TXT: was it rich johnston?
26/07/07 09:12 TXT: was he CGCed?
26/07/07 09:07 TXT: they're already bringing them out in body bags
26/07/07 08:56 TXT: failed 2 get line 2 do conga
26/07/07 07:27 EMAIL: I have hyperlink wishes: I wish today was Friday but I know that if today was Friday I'd wish that it was Saturday, but then if today was Saturday, I know I'd wish today was Sunday.
26/07/07 07:01 EMAIL: RASL is amazing. 11 x 17 and gorgeous. Surely one of the coolest items for people who like comics at comic-con
26/07/07 02:58 TXT: Decided not to get laid actually, went back to my room, snuggled up with Jeff Smith’s RASL preview. Plenty of time for that sort of thing later. Night.
26/07/07 02:32 TXT: y r ppl msgng wen thy cud b gttng laid?
26/07/07 02:29 EMAIL: I just heard a stormtrooper (helmet off) talking about naked 3d angelina jolie. In a kind of a 'sing song' way. Disturbing, but I've come to realize I love the disturbance a convention causes in my gut.
26/07/07 02:24 TXT: only thng ppl tlkng abt is nkd 3d angelina jolie in beowulf
26/07/07 02:19 TXT: walking to motel room and the streets are littered with tossed indiana jones 4 posters
26/07/07 02:11 TXT: waitress staff at hyatt were indeed sweet i told them they were famous and they ran to find an internet
26/07/07 01:55 TXT: another year another retard parade
26/07/07 01:45 TXT: preview night is the worst because these are the people who saved up all year to spend a week here
26/07/07 01:22 EMAIL: Gaiman fans self harm because of their inner turmoil. Ellis fans self harm cos it's bitchin
26/07/07 01:15 TXT: mainly warren's fans are assholes, whereas neil's just cry a lot
26/07/06 01:03 AOL: why do I get the feeling that a Frank Miller Sand Seref as a biological terrorist in a Spirit movie will be nothing more than 2 hours of "Holy Terror Batman" on screen....
25/07/07 22:10 TXT: gaiman fans have given up smoking. ellis fans recently started again.
25/07/07 21:18 EMAIL: and now we're parting the sea of smell on the way back to the hotel.
25/07/07 21:01 EMAIL: the hall is now closed. they waddle out so much more slowly than they stumble in.
25/07/07 21:00 EMAIL: i'm really glad you bathed, but would you also consider washing your clothes before you go out in public? you smell like a yiffy potluck.
25/07/07 19:36 EMAIL: will someone please explain how to tell the difference between the gaiman fans & the ellis fans?
25/07/07 19:33 EMAIL: real announcement: please watch your step. the yellow brick road has come undone and it is a safety hazard.
25/07/07 19:29 EMAIL: his smug grin of unearned superiority beamed across the hall. that's mister bronze age to you!
25/07/07 19:25 EMAIL: children wielding swords with cat ears on their crowns. pray, pray, pray they outgrow it when they should.
25/07/07 19:24 EMAIL: skin like kindergartener's paste. adhesive sweat. tears like runny elmers when the comic's corner got torn.
25/07/07 19:15 EMAIL: it's on. thousands waddle through the aisles with no sense of pedestrian etiquitte while clutching their oversized wb bags.
25/07/07 17:30 EMAIL: 10 minutes to open: the restroom doen't smell of fan fluids yet. enjoy it now!
25/07/07 16:44 EMAIL:
25/07/07 16:34 EMAIL: speeding forklifts, crane exhaust & bustle. exhibitors picking up shwag. it is beginning.
25/07/07 15:22 EMAIL: word of warning: on the registration form exhibitor not-attending means that. Those names WILL NOT BE ISSUED A BADGE. If you're not yet in line and have anyone onsite listed with that distinction, sign on and change it NOW.
25/07/07 15:20 EMAIL: Cool swag: cardboard 300 Spartan shields are stacked up for giveaway at the Dark Horse booth. I figure on seeing a legion of V masks in full bleed Batman t-shirts walking around clutching these.
25/07/07 15:19 EMAIL: There's something unsettling about watching a Union guy fondling Optimus Prime's leg.
25/07/07 15:14 EMAIL: First cab to the center, the driver had a Yoda figurine resting above the meter. "Is that something you have on there all year, or just a prop for the week?" I asked him. He laughed, but didn't answer my question
25/07/07 09:01 EMAIL: just overheard fox people @ breakfast – there are here but they pulled out of presentation because they weren’t allowed to show any R rated material. They’re not happy.
25/07/07 08:44 EMAIL: The manager at the Embassy Suites free breakfast buffet looked mighty nervous this morning.
25/07/07 08:03 TXT: ive been awake for 4 hours slept 2 hours want 2 die
25/07/07 07:43 EMAIL:You know that San Diego is underway when you sign onto AIM and see that not a single person on your work Buddy List is signed in.
25/07/07 04:06 TXT: cant sleep body tells me its lunchtime fuck fuck fuck
25/07/07 02:18 EMAIL: Overheard in the Hyatt at closing time:
Waitress1: That's nothing. Come Friday there'll be 400 of 'em here.
Waitress1: Just on our side of the bar. Make sure you get their money every round. And be sweet. They'll tip better.
25/07/07 00:59 TXT: U english r pussies!
25/07/07 00:13 TXT: more people arriving late thort i saw bob wayne doing the tango off to bed jetlagged urghh
24/07/07 19:53 EMAIL: Upon closer inspection, it's not a camel toe on that statue in the Dark Horse booth. It's actually some kind of super HPV. It looks like there's some toxic cauliflower bubbling under there. Ew!
24/07/07 18:17 PIC:
24/07/07 17:49 EMAIL: our people: like pears stuffed with spoiled chorizo
24/07/07 15:46 EMAIL: Hello there. I have been given to understand that if SDCC were its own independent state then it's gross domestic product would cause it to be invaded as part of a War Against Terror.
24/07/07 15:08 EMAIL: I hate San Diego. It's too bright, and everyone looks too damn healthy. It's like Brave New World under a giant tanning lamp..
24/07/07 14:28 EMAIL: i'll try to get better pics of that statue of the chick in the dark horse booth. mine turned out for shit. it actually has hard nipples and a camel toe
24/07/07 13:56 TXT: im lost in san diego - help!
24/07/07 11:42 TXT: signage at the virgin comics books indicates "jenna jameson is coming soon." has there ever been a weirder episode in contradictory brandng
24/07/07 11:30 TXT: wlkd by centr - bzy bzy bzy - lego str wrz
24/07/07 11:11 PIC:
24/07/07 09:48 TXT: jst eatn crab bt am allrgk 2 c fd - hlp!!!!!
24/07/07 09:31 EMAIL: Great, now Heidi has noticed you. Hey Heidi! Look busy!
24/07/07 09:26 EMAIL: warning warning warning do not order tea here - they bring it cold, without milk and with ice
24/07/07 09:10: EMAIL: she has a spidey tattoo on her belly. spidey got really fat since last con.
24/07/07 09:09 TXT: i reckon a ticketless klingon army could take san diego con guards any day
24/07/07 08:55 EMAIL: they're early. the mullet parade has already staked its claim on dick's last resort
24/07/07 08:50 EMAIL: i can already feel the bath of klingon bukkake getting ready
24/07/07 08:11 EMAIL: I'm in San Diego already. It's like they crossed Brighton with the models from Space 1999.
24/07/07 07:45 TXT: sitting in heathrow. there is a man with a large portfolio flying to lax with me clearly wanting to get some work at san diego. i've seen the portfolio and it's all awful. should i tell him to try and get his money back on the air tickets and hotel room?
24/07/07 07:22 TXT: if i c mark waid im gonna pretend 2 b u
24/07/07 07:17 EMAIL: You know those booth babes are lusted after all day. By the evening, their testosterone receptors are playing havoc with their brains and they'll sleep with the first man they see who's had a shower and is wearing a shirt.
24/07/07 07:08 EMAIL: If I see that Warren Ellis I'm going to ask him about Civil War continuity errors till he cries.
24/07/07 06:21 TEXT: am preparing my star wars cosplay costume - a wookie/hutt offspring called jabbabacca
24/07/07 04:45 EMAIL: If I see the Torchwood people on the CBR boat do you want me to push them over the side?
24/07/07 02:17 TEXT: damit 4 day tkts sold out wil hav 2 brk in