The Internet is for Corn

...THAT'S RIGHT, I AM IN THE POCKET OF BIG CORN. *Sigh:  no...I'm not.*


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The internet is really, really great...
I’ve got a fast connection so I don’t have to wait...
There's always some new site,
I browse all day and night ...
It's like I’m surfing at the speed of light:

For Corn!




As I mentioned last week, I've been sick. And in the process of being gross and such, there was some half-passed-out television watching, which means I was too out of it to ...bypass commercials. And so I saw this gem:



Now some people were up in arms that this was produced by "GASP" the Corn Refiners Association.


On the one hand, I am not a big sugar person in general.

Except for as useful to do important science! Of course!

On the other hand, I am not a superfan of the cibariously paranoid.


Look:

Bees take nectar, enzymatically digest it, dry it, make honey.

Scientists take corn, enzymatically digest it, make corn syrup.

Engineers take corn syrup, enzymatically digest it, remix with original and make HFCS.


This mixture becomes essentially an attempt at liquid sucrose,

which is normally from Sugar Cane or Beets.

So who could have spread all the mean rumors about HFCS?

I'd blame BIG BEET and BIG CANE.

 

You know what else those guys were responsible for?

COLONIZATION AND KILLING THE INDIANS.

 

I rest my case. I kid.


Processed foods are cheap and effective ways to put calories into people's pie-holes. This keeps people from starving. It keeps prices down. If you make getting it too easy, people tend to start to have issues with the fatness. Should you blame any group of people for their capitalist motives to make their products seem less terrifying?


Where would Alan Copland be without:

"Beef: It's what's for dinner."

 

Would you find it so sinister to know that it was a dairy council behind:

"Milk: It does a body good."

 

Everything's a little bit terrible. I refuse to get up in arms.

It's advertising. It's all propaganda.


It pays for the airtime that can be devoted to the programs I like.

Even if I'm having trouble finding the time to watch them.




*I reserve the right to be smarter tomorrow than I am being today.*