This is ...both painful and grotesque

Most of all, I just don't, I just don't wanna be free, no... (that's why I keep busy?)

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Every time I look at you I go blind.


The etch-a-sketch above is not to anyone in particular.  And yet to everyone in general؟

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So, for a long time, one of the questions that I would ask people in general interrogations was what they would do with their lives if they went blind.  (This mostly was pointed at science types who would no longer be able to quickly look at data.)  Then one day I found out that one of the science types I had yet to be in a familiar enough situation to bring out the question with has a degenerative ocular disease and WILL be going blind.  It was around that point that I realized that my question, though it comes from a place of curiosity and a desire to contingency plan, might be really... really offensive.  All I can say is that my life is pretty plain. 

 

Anyhow, originally the "secret" message was going to be "if you can read this, you have an awkward and useless skill", which I could explain as both ironic and sarcastic and self-deprecating, but then I realized it ISN'T a useless skill if one maybe KNOWS what is coming and has contingency planned, and maybe my pointing that out while living a semi-charmed kind of life is really not cool*.  Not that I'm obsessed with being cool or anything, I just try to control the situations where I am potentially being a jerk.

 

I do a lot of planning.  Ever since I was a kid, adults have told me I "have a lot of potential".  They mostly just muttered the "...to be a jerk." part.

 

*Plus, that's a lot more characters and not remotely as poignant.

 

This hits a little close to home.




Anyhow, I must get back to not blinding people (hopefully!) with science.


So...uh...this wasn't going to go up until late next month due to the queuing (I'm trying to write up my dissertation and had amassed a stash of "unpublished work")  but much like the Don Callender related post of last week, this week Ben Underwood, "the echolocation boy", also died. 


I mean this with as much sensitivity possible:  this one's for Ben.

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aww.