Please help Darren Johnson become a millionaire

Please help me to become a millionaire.  It's actually very simple, all you have to do is send me a cheque for as much as you can afford to the following address;
Darren Johnson.
c/o 69 Playstool Road,
ME9 7NL.
(any questions, just email me direct;
So, all you have to do is simply make all cheques payable (UK pounds sterling £) to: Darren Johnson.
All it will cost you is the price of a stamp (and obviously the amount you write the cheque out for).
Unfortunatly I am unable to offer you anything in return (as this would probably defeat the object), but I can assure you that any/all money donated to me will be thankfully received and faithfully applied.  And I also promise not to squander a single penny.
Many thanks in advance for your help.
Kind regards,
D. Johnson
Darren Johnson.
 Total donated to date: £14,296.37p 

Legal Disclaimer: Please note you are under no obligation whatsoever to donate or give any money or monies as a result of visiting this site.  Any money or monies you decide to freely give or donate are purely voluntary, and will be classed as free and voluntary donations, with nothing being offered as a reward or exchange for any money or monies donated, given or received.  Any money or monies given/donated as a direct or indirect result of visiting this site will become the sole property and legal owner of one Darren Johnson, with no further legal or binding ties being attached to the donator/giver or their money or monies, and all money or monies given/donated will therefore become and form solely part of Darren Johnson’s estate to spend as freely as he wishes.  Further to this, Darren Johnson does herby promise not to squander any money or monies donated/given, and Darren Johnson further promises that he will use all money or monies donated/given to provide a better life for himself and his direct family by purchasing such items as determined by the total money or monies given/donated/received; For example a house or mansion in Knightsbridge London and a yacht in Monaco / Monte Carlo (these items and locations described are in no way definitive or exhaustible and are only described/mentioned as to be used strictly as a guide/example only, and Darren Johnson solely reserves the right to change or substitute the items or locations at anytime without any prior notice whatsoever).   And finally Darren Johnson reserves the right to freely spend any/all money or monies donated/given to him on any items/ properties/ stocks/ shares or indeed any other way he see fit to spend it, without any hindrance or binding obligations or accountabilities whatsoever to the donator(s)/giver(s).