Josh's Diary

Mon May 21, 2012

posted Jun 29, 2012, 8:29 PM by Adam Griffiths   [ updated Jun 29, 2012, 8:30 PM ]

A Celebration of Maggie Leung will be held at Unity In Marin, 600 Palm Drive, Novato, CA 94949 on Saturday, June 30 at 5:00 PM. A reception will follow at the same location with delectible food and libations. For those unable to be there, the ceremony portion will be live streamed on welovemaggie.com 

More information regarding local lodging, themed attire, and answers to the question "how can I help out or participate" will be addressed in later posts. If you are called to help defer the cost you can PayPal in using the email address themaggiefund@gmail.com

I am in a continual state of gratitude for each warm hug, loving post, kind word, meal, ride, tears and smiles from your open hearts. 

I will be in less touch this week as I am taking a previously planned and timely trip to Unity Village near Kansas City. I return Saturday. I intend this to be a healing and reflective time. All of you will be in my heart.

Mon May 14 2012, 7.09pm

posted May 14, 2012, 7:30 PM by Adam Griffiths

Maggie made her transition at about 6:05. It was peaceful. I have a deep knowing that she is OK. More later...love and trust. 
- Josh

Sun May 13 2012, 6.28pm

posted May 14, 2012, 7:28 PM by Adam Griffiths

Update from Adam: It's Sunday and Maggie is sleeping. On Saturday her meds were lowered, so sometimes she could communicate through blinks of her beautiful eyes. But lowering meds of course makes pain worse. She cried out sometimes. We held her hand and she was calmer. Josh kissed her forehead, raised her in bed and gave her an update
"Hi Maggie. Hi Beautiful. I love you too. 
I'm just going to give you a recap because even a week ago, when you were still talking, you sometimes would wake up and not be sure what was happening... so I just want to let you know where we're at. 
Two weeks ago we were down here for the Revelations event with Michael Beckwortb, listening to the talks and songs. You liked that.
Then on Monday we went for dinner with Alysha & Duddie and you said you needed to go to the Hospital, and I said "if Maggie says that, then we should go" - so we came to Kaiser. That was a tough night. You were in the ER all night, and in the morning I yelled at them and told them we needed a room NOW! So we got a room and the next night, as you fell asleep your vision was a little blurry, and then you couldn't see when you woke up.
Your blood was clotting because of the bullshit, and a blood clot went into your brain and then you couldn't see and you were very upset. We were both scared, but we got a good medical team together and a lot of stuff happened with the doctors trying different meds, and your family came, and lots of friends. We're so wealthy with friends.
Now we're at this point where we're trying to make you as comfortable as we can. We're hoping you can blink if you understand what we're saying. Can you blink if you do?
It's scary, but you don't have to be afraid. I'm afraid sometimes of doing the wrong thing. But I'm not going to live in fear and I know you wouldn't want me too. I'm just going to try to make the best decisions I can. And I'm going to love you and give you kisses. Yes, I've got some special kisses for your love.
And yes we know you want to talk with us now and it's very frustrating. But we love you, and we know you love us too. 
One of the last things you said when you could talk more was 'I'm sorry for putting you through this'. I want you to know it's ok, because I love you so much. It's been a hard year for us but it's also been a lot of love. It's been one of the best years of my whole life, having time with you. my Maggie May."

Sun May 13 2012, 1.43pm

posted May 13, 2012, 2:45 PM by Adam Griffiths   [ updated May 13, 2012, 2:48 PM ]

Yesterday we said our goodbyes to Maggie. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do. 
We knew we wanted to have some more lucid time with her for just one more day. So after discussing things among the family, we gave her some decahedron to counteract the narcotics. It worked. Many of us were able to be with her and we knew she could hear and understand us.
In the late afternoon, I had a very special moment to talk with her. I told her how much she is loved by all of us. I reminded her that she is not her body and that she was free to leave this body that no longer serves her, whenever she is ready. I acknowledged her pain and frustration and shared mine. I told her what a great job of living that she has done. I thanked her for making me an heir to our fortune of loving, kind, generous friends. I told her our plan was to take her off her nutrition and increase her pain meds – and that we would make sure she was comfy and high as a kite. She need not be afraid… I don’t know exactly what happens next for her, but I know I don’t have to tell her to “farewell” she will fare WELL. There will be peace, love, light and laughter... maybe some cool reincarnation. I told her that her light and love will live on in all of us.
Maggie responded with sighs, tears and blinks. She has lost motor control, so there is not a lot of expression she is capable of. And at the end, I told her I will love her forever and went in for a kiss that I only meant for her to feel. In the way that she could, with only half of one side of her mouth that mostly hangs somewhat open, she very deliberately closed her lips to mine. My father was in the room and we both burst into tears. I was so happy and so crushed at the same time to know we were connecting. It was the another of her famously great kisses. Maybe the most memorable kiss of my life.
That girl has so much class…so much heart…even and especially now.
Today she rests peacefully. We took her off the nutrition and increased Ativan and Dilaudid. We wait. - Josh

Sat May 12 2012, 4.40pm

posted May 13, 2012, 12:41 PM by Adam Griffiths

Update from Andy: I'm leaving LA for the second time this week - while I'm going home, I'm leaving home at the same time. The family that Maggie helped bring together is unmatched as the generosity and compassion of so many of you has flowed through this time of our lives. This morning, I had a very special time alone with Josh and Maggie. Josh read poetry to Maggie and gave her a back rub as we told Maggie how much she meant to us. 
Maggie was aware of our presence and leaned against Josh with her whole being feeling comfort. No words were necessary. Her breathing and her eyes gave us the reassurance we needed. - Andy

Fri 11 May 2012, 9.23pm

posted May 13, 2012, 12:39 PM by Adam Griffiths

Peaceful. Resting. Beautiful. - Josh

Fri May 11 2012, 4.44pm

posted May 13, 2012, 12:38 PM by Adam Griffiths

Update from Jen: Maggie is mostly sleeping today. This is comforting as it means she's not in as much pain.
I had an opportunity to talk with Maggie's mom Ivy last night. She is a brave loving mother and only wishes the best for Maggie - to ease her pain.
Josh's dad John told me how Maggie seemed to enjoy having the 'When I think of Maggie' part of the website read to her yesterday, she also enjoyed The New Yorker and some poetry.
I'm sending her all your loving thoughts.
Breathe. Pray. Love. - Jenkat

Wed May 9 2012, 3.33pm

posted May 9, 2012, 4:44 PM by Adam Griffiths

Update from Nayomi: Maggie just had her tummy drained. The doctors put in a tube and took out about 2 and a 1/4 liters of liquid. This means her abdomen is a lot less distended and sore. There's some softness to it now and this probably means she's feeling a some relief. 
With love, Nayomi

Wed May 9 2012, 10.52am

posted May 9, 2012, 11:54 AM by Adam Griffiths   [ updated May 13, 2012, 2:49 PM ]

Maggie is resting and taking in some Miles Davis right now. She is much the same today.. We watch. We wait. We pray. We are trying to love her the best we can. She still looks like an angel. 
Let's all send her some special comfort and love today at two times: 12 noon PST and 3 pm PST. So, 3pm and 6pm eastern. I will be here to let her know and to feel it with her. 
We are so wealthy. The community of family and friends that are so loving, capable and grounded is astonishing. This is so horrible and beautiful at the same time. 
The light of good surrounds us... - Josh

Tue May 8 2012, 11.52pm

posted May 9, 2012, 11:51 AM by Adam Griffiths   [ updated May 13, 2012, 2:49 PM ]

Update from Nayomi: We are sitting with Maggie tonight... she is finally sleeping peacefully... she is
Magnificent
Amazing
Graceful
Good
Inspiring
Ever in our love.

Love to all of you thinking of her, praying for her, holding her and her incredible love, Josh. - Nayomi & Whit

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