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Return My Horse

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. "Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse had been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."

Chemistry Class

One day, the chemistry teacher asked his students, "What is the chemical formula for water?" Silly Suzie immediately raised her hand. "Yes, Suzie, what's the answer?", the teacher asked. Suzie answered proudly, "The chemical formula for water is 'H I J K L M N O "! Her teacher looked perplexed. He asked, "What are you talking about?" Suzie replied, "Yesterday you said the formula for water is H to O!"