Some talk of drain inspectors and some of engineers,
I would not give for either last week's vaginal smears,
For onward we go marching, the pride of all the 'Pool,
Jack Leggate's joys, those sturdy boys
of the Liverpool Medical School.
Some die of constipation and some of diarrhoea,
Some die of masturbation and some of gonorrhoea.
But of all the world's diseases, there's none that can compare,
To the drip, drip, drip of the syphilitic prick...
of a Liverpool engineer.
We like those girls who say they will, we like those girls who don't,
We don't like those who say they will but then they say they won't,
but of all the girls we like the best, we may be wrong or right,
We like those girls who say they won't - but look as though they might.
All engineers are born illegitimate,
born illegitimate, born illegitimate.
All engineers are born illegitimate...
Bastards all are they