justtothesea's Pete/Patrick Recs

(EDIT 13.3.15) Hello everyone! So I've overhauled this page using the html from the original post so it's all in the one post and subsequently I've removed the other pages. The actual rec-list itself hasn't been altered at all. Thank you for reading! ♥

UPDATE MARCH 14th 2018: I sat down and revised all the links. Locked posts have been edited and labeled, and some changed (where applicable) to new available sites! Newer stories are added at the bottom of the list.

These are all peterick stories I've read and enjoyed and wanted to recommend. They are only marked with the ratings and themes the authors themselves listed - so (if there are any) please be aware of adult themes, authors tags, and warnings on these stories before reading.


"it may be a side effect of the exposure, but i am thinking it's meant to be"
By thirdonebetween || PG-13 || 5,821 words

“I just don’t get it,” Patrick had said, “it” being the fact that Pete has apparently disappeared off the face of the planet.

“It’s like this,” Joe says, tweaking the strings on his guitar. They’re sitting on Patrick’s bedroom floor, kind of jamming and kind of talking about relationships like girls. “Pete, you know, he’s pretty fucked up, yeah? I mean, he’s an awesome dude, and we love him, but he’s fucked up. And then he’s also basically in love with you, and so he’s probably off freaking out and trying to figure out how to keep you from ever leaving him short of locking you in his basement.”

Sleep Like Music
By valerie_z || Hard R

Patrick reached his sexual peak on a Tuesday afternoon.

What bothered him the most was that it took him completely by surprise. He was a well-read, relatively intelligent guy; he should've known this was coming. But when he'd gotten aroused at age fifteen on a public bus just by the vibrations of the vehicle as it pulled away from a stop, he'd foolishly believed that that was the height of irrational and embarrassing adolescent male sexuality.

I Got You Babe (The Pete and Patrick Variety Show) 
By megyal || R || ~3,200 words

"Should we be doing something exciting?" Joe wondered as Patrick got up to go to the kitchen. "I keep wondering. I mean... we could argue over shit. Or, fight." He kicked Andy in the thigh. Andy quickly pinched his bare foot. "Um. Your mother, Hurley."

"Don't say anything about my mother." Andy spoke very mildly. The camera-man looked disappointed. Andy stared at him, blinked and then turned to Joe. "... or. I'll take your eyes out of your head and... eat them?"

The camera-man looked hopeful.

The Million Things We Never Were 
By adellyna and txtequilanights  || PG || 2,500~ words

Summary: Sometimes your suddenly sentient action figures need to teach you valuable life lessons. Just saying.

“I am not insane,” is the first thing he says to Patrick when he shows up, before he even lets him in the door.

Patrick looks skeptical.

As You Wish 
By lazenby || R || (princess bride au)

Summary: Patrick said True Love couldn’t be parted by Death, but Pete’s not really into the whole idea of necrophilia.

Sometimes, Pete sits on the floor right outside of Patrick's door and presses his ear against the wood, eavesdropping.

Patrick has a strong, clear voice, Pete can tell that even through the door. He wants to hear more of it. He tries striking up conversations with the housekeeper, but Patrick just stares back at him blankly. The only thing he ever says to Pete is, “As you wish.”

By provetheworst || R || 14,502 words

Summary: Patrick is not going to fail Chemistry. He's got a secret weapon. He's also got an awkward crush, but that part isn't his fault.

Pete laughs. He says, "Destroying school property? You're a delinquent, kid. Living life like it's going out of style."

"I'm not joining the military."

Pete stares at him, blankly.

"That would be -- if I was really living life like it -- since there's a war on and, I don't know, never mind."

plastic bags {and paper hearts}
By jezzabe || R

Summary: In which Pete is...Pete, and Patrick has hidden feelings.

Patrick desperately wanted Pete to try something so he could shut him down, because clearly Pete deserved to suffer as Patrick was suffering.

But when Pete came out to the van, it was with big liquid eyes and a giant cup of coffee that he proffered to Patrick without a word. Patrick took it grudgingly, glaring at the beaming Joe who was climbing into the driver’s seat.

Stupid smirky Joe. It was as if he knew something Patrick didn’t.

Patricksitting (Call It A Love Song) 
By adellyna || NC-17 || 
22,385 words

When Pete shows up Sunday, mid-afternoon, for ten days of house sitting and "Keeping a general eye on things, Patrick, we know you're too old for a babysitter, but we worry," he looks exactly the same, except for a stupid haircut that makes him look like someone cut it when he was too drunk to look in a mirror, or something. "Hey, kid," he says, first thing, lugging a huge, shiny brown duffle behind him. It's slippery, nylon or something, and it keeps rubbing against Pete's jeans, making some sort of whispery zipper sound that sets Patrick's teeth on edge. "I'm here for Patricksitting. I assume you're the Patrick?"

Act As A Clever Medicine 
By ficbyzee || NC-17 || 8,155 words

Patrick pushes himself up on his elbow and opens his mouth to say "Pete, get the hell *out* of here," but what comes out is "Nnngh."

"Whoa," Pete says, and kneels on the floor next to Patrick, instead of yelling "Gross!" and getting out of the room like anyone *sane* would do. "Dude, you couldn't even make it to the bed?"

Patrick pulls himself upright and someone--surely not him--is yanking Pete forward by his hoodie and Patrick's vision is kind of fuzzy but he can see Pete's neck and his collarbone and then all he sees is Pete's skin because his face is pressed against Pete's pulse. And it's just sweat and old cologne, Pete shouldn't smell this *good* but oh, fuck--

You Know
By joyfulseeker || 1,200 words

"I'm going to get punched," Patrick said.

"It's a kissing booth," Andy said. "You won't, 'cause that's like the whole point of it."

"No, but," Patrick said, wiping his hands on the back of his jeans, "I'm gonna get punched."

"Well..." Andy tilted his head. "I mean, whatever, if you want to back out on your dare."

wake up and notice you're someone you're not
By lordessrenegade || NC-17 || 7,400 words || with Frank/Gerard, and minor Patrick/Gerard || (bodyswap)

Summary: Patrick and Frank switch bodies. Wackiness ensues.

Weak morning light was filtering in through the window, making Gerard's skin look even paler than usual. Patrick tilted his head to press a kiss to Gerard's forehead, then pulled back a little to look at Gerard resting there against him, eyes closed, tiny smile on his face. He watched Gerard's chest move as he breathed, and his own hand twisting through Gerard's hair, curling strands of it around his fingers.

Then he looked a little closer, and he started screaming.

King of the Boudoir
By giddygeek || 3,800 words

Summary: Fuck-or-die totally counts as a rating. And also a summary.

"Get naked," he says, pawing his way free of the hoodie where it's tangled around his neck. "Like, now."

"Um, no?" Patrick says, and Pete finally tosses his hoodie off and turns to see Patrick staring at him, narrow-eyed.

"Oh my God, I so do not have time for this," Pete says, reaching for his belt buckle. "Seriously, get naked. I'll explain later."

Dunder Mifflin: Chicago Branch 
By offtheceiling and 
iamtheenemy || PG-13, 5,000 words

Pete’s the regional manager, and the first thing he does when he gets promoted is hire Patrick as the assistant (to the) regional manager. He holds interviews for three days before Patrick comes in. Patrick starts talking, and Pete hires him on the spot. As far as Pete’s concerned, it’s fucking destiny. Patrick is perfect.

One Day, Robots Will Cry
By lordessrenegade || NC-17

"Patrick," Pete repeated. "Patrick the lovebot."

Patrick stiffened, taking his hand away. "Personal Computerized Companion, actually," he said, shifting back away from Pete a little.

"Right. Sorry."

"I perform many functions."

"I know. I didn't mean…I'm sorry."

asking to be born
By longtime_lurker || NC-17 || 26,000 words || (mpreg)

All of his perceptions kind of gray out for the next little while, and Patrick only catches fragments of what the doctor is saying: "biological aberration...chromosome splicing...unprecedented in the literature...functioning pseudo-uterus...DNA from both parents...unknown trigger...need hormone shots administered...high risk...there's theoretically enough room, physically, but..."

As far as Patrick can tell, all the medical-ese essentially boils down to a big fat WE HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE

till the seas run dry
By longtime_lurker || NC-17 || 31,000 words (asking to be born sequel)

Joe scoffs. "Not if this wedding's gonna be as packed as that huge fucking guestlist of yours says. Think traditional, dude - church, temple, synagogue - there anything you kids, like, believe in or whatever these days?"

Patrick laughs shortly and says, "Umm. In music?" and Pete glances at him and says, "In Patrick," and Joe looks torn between miming vomiting or clutching his heart.

Pun Intended
By xxdance || R || 3,664 words

Summary: One morning, Patrick woke up as a pencil.

"Pete, what are you—you're not writing with him, are you?!" Joe demanded.

--I kind of wish I could just erase this experience from my memory. Um. Sorry about that.

Pete shut the journal and shoved it under his pillow, just as Joe ripped his bunk's curtain open.

"What are you going to do when he needs to be sharpened?!"

A Stitch Away From Making it (A Scar Away From Falling Apart)
By femmequixotic || NC-17 || ~14,700 words

Summary: “There’s only so much Robert Smith you can take in one dose, and seriously, I never thought I’d say this but you’re starting to make me hate Disintegration."

Joe turned back to Patrick. "Look, the label’s been holding them off and you know it. There’s only so much Karen can do with canned statements—"

"Hey, I blogged about it," Pete snapped. "Twice."

"Rambling unpunctuated diatribes informing people to trust goddamn fucking no one don’t really count as damage control, Mulder," Andy said. "Would it kill you to find the shift key?"

Pete flipped him off.

Call It Enough
By joyfulseeker || 9,300 words

Summary: The trick with Pete was knowing when to believe him.

Pete sat up slowly, scrubbing his hand at his eye. "What. Weren't you leaving with that girl?"

"Yeah, you mean Vai?" Patrick said, words tumbling out rapidly, realization stumbling over realization like clowns in farce theater, and he couldn't believe he'd been so stupid. "You mean Vai, the girl you introduced me to? Vai who was there with her girlfriend?" Pete winced. "Yeah." Patrick jerked his head. "We all got lots of time to 'share' and 'get to know each other,' since they spent two fucking hours driving me home."

State Line
By impertinence || Adult

Summary: Age of consent laws suck almost as much as Pete won't.

“It's not that,” Pete said, voice strained. “It's really not—Patrick. Patrick, we're in Illinois and you're sixteen.”

“You handcuffed me and spent half the night making me beg you to fuck me yesterday. It's a little late to be having a crisis of conscience.”

Pete rolled his eyes. “Right, because I could give you up so easily. The age of consent in Illinois is seventeen.”

Patrick stared.

How Life Can Be
By sevenfists || PG-13 || 3,000 words

Summary: In which Patrick fails to think about his feelings, and then there is kissing.

"Yeah," Patrick says. "Did he—oh shit, this is ridiculous. I, uh. Pete—"

"Shut up," Pete says. He comes closer. Patrick can smell his sweat and his deodorant, and then he can really smell it, because Pete slings an arm around Patrick's neck. "I'll never break your heart. Or make you cry."

"You're quoting the Backstreet Boys," Patrick says, "which doesn't really fill me with confidence."

10 kisses or Why Pete Wentz shouldn’t be left anywhere near MySpace, LiveJournal and every other kind of blogging website
jen_jm || R || ~9,100 words || mentions of Pete/everyone

Pete looks at the two of them, hesitating just a few seconds, then takes a deep breath. “A kissing contest.” He announces, his smile coming back at full force. “Well, not a real contest, it’s more of a…kissing plan to improve your confidence.”

“A kissing plan?” Joe cracks up, almost dropping his guitar. “Dude, what the fuck?”

As You Like It -or- If Shakespeare Can Be Too Lazy to Come Up with a Title, So Can I
By lierdumoa || NC-17 || 4,156 words

Summary: The making of Bedussey.

Times like this Pete really wishes he and Patrick were an item. And that's not just the blue balls of death talking; he bets if they were an item he could ask Patrick and Patrick would just do stuff like strip down and pose for him because Patrick would be that whipped.

Pete turns that little hypothetical over in his mind as he heads to the bathroom to beat off.

5 People Patrick Stump Never Slept With (Under the Loosely Defined Concept of "Slept With" As Regards to "Sleeping Next to Someone"), and One He Did
By iphignia939 || 6,421 words || with Patrick/Gerard, Patrick/Travis, Patrick/Ryan/Brendon/Spencer, Patrick/Chris

The first time was faster than Patrick would've liked -- but, he reminded himself, it was four in the morning and they were both jet-lagged. Besides, it was hard to stay on your game when you had a curious bulldog coming in and jumping on the bed at exactly the wrong moment.

By doll_revolution

Joe couldn't possibly (even if he had the time, which he didn't) count all the times Pete kissed Patrick. Because Pete was, well, kind of slutty. But Patrick kissing Pete? Now that was a different story.

I'll Walk You Up
By normalhumanbein || PG-13 || ~1,800 words

Sadly, Patrick makes it back to the relative high ground of the stage before Pete can get the drop on him. His guitar is emitting ear-splitting noises which go beyond feedback and into the realms of pure aural agony.

Andy’s valiant defence of his drum kit ends in a high-pitched clatter and a guttural yell.

Pete jumps and forgets to land.

Late Night With
By kosher_pareve || PG-13

“I kind of maybe have a crush on Conan O’Brien.”

Peter freezes mid-bite, staring at Patrick in shock.

“I was thinking about it, you know, about why I’m so nervous to do the show,” Patrick says, grabbing a napkin from the dispenser and shredding it into ribbons with restless fingers. “And I think it’s because I might have a bit of a thing for Conan.”

Clothes Off!
By queenofhell || with Pete/Mikey, Pete/William, Pete/Ryan, Pete/Jeanae

Summary: Pete had kind of given up on the cock thing.

What’s the closest you’ve ever come to taking the boy-on-boy action to the next level?

I haven’t really ever gotten that close, ’cause honestly, I’m not a real big fan of penises. Like my own, whenever I look at it, I just don’t find anything attractive about it. I can’t believe girls are into it. It blows my mind a little bit. So that’s the biggest problem. I’d love to share clothes with a dude and have all those benefits, but I just can’t get past that thing. It’s just weird-lookin’.
--Pete Wentz in The Advocate

Let Me Be Pacific
By giddygeek || 1,500 words

Patrick is busy making giraffe faces for the camera when he hears Pete's group say, "Awww!" very loudly. Pete is laughing like crazy. When he turns his head to see what's going on, most of Pete's group is looking at him, and so is Pete. More than one person is throwing him hearts.

Patrick bats his lashes at them, still making the giraffe face, then turns back to his own group. Whatever Pete's said--well, he'll get emails about it later, and that's if Pete doesn't tell him himself.

Men In Caps
By keenoled || PG

Summary: "Pete was actually offered a position as a field agent, at first, but then they said they would have to erase his tats, and, yeah. That was pretty much it."

There was only one thing cooler, maybe, than the aliens, and well, maybe his clothes, because, seriously. He was forced, forced, to wear black pants and a white dress shirt and a skinny black tie everyday?

“Jesus, Pete, this is an immigration bureau, roll down your sleeves and button up and, tie your tie, and what’s that, cigarettes? You don’t even smoke! What if Zed sees you like that? You look like a White Stripes reject!”

He got rid of the cigarettes. They kept falling out of his rolled up left sleeve, and James Dean was the only one who could pull that look off anyway.

The Wolf Prince
By iphignia939 || over 20,000 words

Summary: Handsome prince, check; young person bearing up alone under circumstances, check; man and woman -- waaaaaaait a minute.

Patrick lived by himself in the woods. He went to town periodically to get things he needed, like clothes and supplies, but for the most part he kept to himself. He ate no meat, and so kept no livestock; there was a well behind his house for when he wanted drinking water, and a decent-sized stream he gathered his bathing water in. There was plenty of firewood, and he kept a small garden that more than suited his needs.

He was on his way back from an infrequent trip to town -- new boots in the pack slung over his shoulder, and several new books, more than enough to keep him for several weeks -- when he spotted the wolf.

small, careful bites
By iphignia939 || prior Pete/Mikey || (The Wolf Prince accompaniment ficlet)

Summary: Stories about teenage pack struggles and old loves.

"Men hate and fear us, so we try to avoid them--except in obvious cases, of course." She tilted her head at Patrick. "We haven't talked to the Fae in ages, since I was a baby. And the Wampyr are--Pete's explained it, right?"

"He has," Patrick said. Pete had been...extremely forthcoming about people he'd been involved with in the past, to the point of oversharing.

Good God I Wish I Was Back In My Time
By impertinence || Adult || ~5,000 words

Summary: Andy creates a wormhole, Patrick from the past shows up, shenanigans ensue.

“Fuck off,” past-Patrick said. “God, whatever. The whole reason I'm here is because of you.”

Joe blinked. “What, now?”

“You and your stupid stoned ass introducing me to this moron and – ew, who's that?”

“Andy Hurley,” Andy said, sticking out his hand.

Kisses on the Necks of Best Friends
By queenofhell || PG-13

Summary: Evolution of a kiss.

The first time, it makes him fumble the mic and forget the lyrics he’s supposed to be singing, and Pete laughs as he backs away, fingers sure on his bass as the kids scream. Patrick recovers, but his cheeks burn and for the rest of the night it’s like that spot on his cheek that Pete’s lips touched feel naked, extra-exposed to all those eyes in the audience

I can't read lips (unless they're touching mine)
By giddygeek || R || 2,800 words

Kissing Patrick the day they'd met was kind of a gut reaction to his voice and his pale legs in those horrible shorts and black socks. Pete had felt a confusing mix of terror--because there it was, the future, and it was wearing argyle--and elation. He'd done what came naturally and planted his lips at the corner of Patrick's mouth; a hard, wet, smack of a kiss.

Zen And The Art of Brinkmanship.
By groaty and apiphile || R || ~6,100 words

"I heard some dude yell out faggots or some shit," Pete says, distracted by his dick (like always) and his tingling lips and how all he can see of Patrick is Patrick's fucking guitar callused, bitten nailed, fingers clasped over his naked upper arm, pressing white into his tan. Patrick’s standing necessarily close behind him, no room to move with people going back and forth, some carrying bulky equipment. Pete can’t even manage to make himself sound convincing, with Patrick practically breathing in his ear. Pete feels goosebumps rise with a shiver over his body.

"... Fair enough," Patrick says mildly, after a pause. Pete turns to look at him, but all he gets is the back of Patrick’s hat disappearing, eclipsed by Joe’s curls.

A Little Superstition
By kueble || PG || 725 words

Summary: Pete thinks he's gonna get lucky.

“My life is a wilted four leaf clover,” Pete mumbled as he spun the clover between his thumb and forefinger.

“What’s that even mean?” Patrick asked, laughing as he looked at the confusion spreading across Pete’s features.

“Honestly? I have no fucking clue. But I’m pretty sure it would sound deep and meaningful spilling from your lips on stage,” Pete said, sighing and sitting up in a rush.

By joyfulseeker

Pete doesn’t even notice at first. Later, they’re never really able to figure out how or where it happened, because it starts out so small, Pete just wanting to spend more time around Patrick. Being around Patrick has always made Pete feel...better, more sane, more funny, more interesting.

With the Moon in His Arms
By miserylovedme || chaptered || minor Patrick/William

Summary: Pete is a mermaid who saves Patrick’s life.

It isn’t that Patrick can’t swim, or even that he isn’t a good swimmer, because he is. It’s the fact that something is wound around his ankle and pulling him down. Movement is nearly impossible and his arms already hurt from fatigue. He can barely see the light from the surface anymore and he is just about ready to release his lungs last, strangled breath of air when he feels someone grab his leg and halt his progressive slide through the water.

++ also: One More Time  (dead link)

So, So Fucked
By reni_days || R || ~12,500 words

Summary: Pete accidentally "outs" himself and Patrick on Good Morning America. Only problem? They're not gay. What now?

"Oh, my fucking God. You have absolutely no idea what you just did."

Pete was getting worried in spite of himself. "So why don't you fucking tell us, then?"

Joe dropped his hands. "Totally serious, right now—are you guys, like, gay? Together, or whatever?"

"What?" Pete exclaimed. Patrick just spluttered incoherently.

"Fuck." Joe dropped his face back into his hands.

The Edmontosaurus Honked Plaintively
By makesomelove

Summary: Summary: Patrick is a secret dinosaur WITH SECRETS. The skull shows signs that Edmontosaurus may have had large inflatable flaps of skin near its nose, perhaps used to attract a mate, or to make a loud honking noise.

"No," Patrick says angrily. "No. No, absolutely not. You can't. You cannot mate with him." Pete's not sure if he heard that part correctly. Maybe Patrick said 'meet with him' or something. Or maybe 'meat with him' even though that doesn't make sense. He is only getting one side of the conversation, though.

Patrick is also honking again.

Do Robotic Triceratops Dream of Electric-Bass Players?
By rain_dances || PG-13 || ~5,000 words

Patrick comes home to find Pete sitting on top of an animatronic life-size baby dinosaur.

"Oh jesus," Patrick gasps.

Pete says, "Patrick, look! He likes when you touch his horns!"

Patrick groans and takes off his glasses to rub at his eyes. "I can only blame myself for this."

Courtship Behaviour
By matchsticks_p || PG
Summary: Pete hits on Patrick, in the most literal sense possible. Patrick is confused.

Pete, whose attention span had long expired and moved on to something else, picked up a notebook lying around on the floor. “I wrote some new stuff, Patrick! Do you wanna see it?”

Patrick was about to say yes, but then Pete whacked him with the notebook. Hard. Patrick turned wide, wide eyes to Joe, silently mouthing “What did I do?”

this ain't no hot line
By crayola123 || R/NC-17 || 1,512 words

"Pete," Patrick interrupts, "I am not going to ask what you're wearing at any point during this conversation, so you might as well just give up. There are hotlines for that kind of thing."

"You're a hot line," Pete says, mildly petulant.

"That doesn't even make sense," Patrick sighs, with vague disgust.

Wasted and Ready
By loveyouallwrong and fledmusic || NC-17 || 4,122 words

"Patrick, Patrick," Pete's laughing still. "Maybe you should go to bed."

"No, you can't make me. What's the other one?"

"What other one?" Pete says, confused.

"The other one. It's like, Pete if your name was Petep, it'd be one. A fucking mirror thing."

"A palindrome?"

"YES." Patrick crows. "Petep, can I call you Petep? Petep, do you think Hemmy watches TV when you aren't home?"

Fivehead and the Velociraptor
By impertinence || R

Summary: Beauty and the Beast - sort of.

Pete read it on a blog. Of course, he also read that the Virgin Mary lived in a piece of toast, so he was kind of taking the legend with a grain of salt. Still, a local Beauty and the Beast-type guy was interesting even if it was a total lie.

And Then the Aliens Killed Bill Murray
By misspamela || R || 5,686 words

"Patrick is the key," he told his still-inanimate Transformers. "He is the motherfucking Keymaster and I am the Gatekeeper. Why didn't I think of this before?"

Pete skipped the doctor but not the shower, and headed over to Patrick's feeling more cheerful than he had in days. Day. Multiples of one day.

sitting with the new sky
By crayola123 || PG-13 || to be completed

"Huh." Joe looks up at him thoughtfully. "So, dude, what, do you not like him, or something?"

"No. I don't know." Patrick shrugs helplessly. "He's weird. He smiles too much."

Joe grins at him. "Dude," he says, "Oh my god, man, you are so fucking gay for him."

Patrick hates it when people are right. He mutters, bitterly, "Fuck off, man," although he doesn't really mean it.

Joe just gives him a hug.

This Auction is Now Closed
By missmollyetc || PG-13

Summary: It’s a long way to Topeka, and they’ve got nothing but time.

“Go back to your corner, Pete,” he said clearly.

“It’s uncomfortable and lonely,” Pete said.

“Fuck off and die.”

Pete sidled closer across the bench, warm all along Patrick’s side. His hand pressed down on Patrick’s thigh, fingers digging slightly into the inner seam of Patrick’s jeans. Patrick coughed.

“I can totally make this up to you,” Pete said.

One of Nine
By ficsoreal || NC-17 || 4,224 words

Summary: Pete is Patrick's muse. Short and simple.

Patrick wakes up to find a pair of big brown eyes and a wide grin filled with white, too big teeth hanging in the air in front of him.

He doesn't scream.

He doesn't jump out of bed.

He isn't even alarmed. Patrick's been expecting this day to come and now it's finally here. He almost feels relieved. He sits up in the middle of the bed and the heavily lashed eyes and the manic smile move back a little.

Van Shenanigans (dead link)
By sinuous_curve || PG-13 || 3,081 words

Summary: Pete fell in love in the van driving through Colorado.

"Hush little Patrick, don't you cry. You don't have an eyelash in your eye."

Patrick snorted and shifted. "That is not how that song goes."

"Bite me," Pete replied, brushing a strand of hair off his forehead. "I couldn't think of the words. But the sentiment in the same. Go to sleep."

Put the Horse Before the Cart
By theswearingkind || PG || 1,087 words || (mail-order bride AU)

“Are you Pete?” he asks.


“Pete Wentz?”

“Still yeah,” Pete answers.

The guy stares at him for a second. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not as skanky as I thought you’d be.”

“Give me time,” Pete says. “Wait, what?”

Turn Around And Erase The Clouds
By thehousekeeper || 1,200 words || (wing!fic)

Pete shut the door firmly and quickly behind Patrick. His wings chose that moment to make their (exceedingly dramatic, and seriously, Pete was already a drama queen, okay, so he didn't really need the help) appearance.

Patrick raised an eyebrow.

Pete decided, right then, that he was going to marry Patrick.

Before Your Afternoon Coffee (dead link)
By miserylovedme || NC-17 || 1,864 words

“What are you doing here?”

Pete drags his feet off the bed and sits up, “It’s noon, you should be up and frolicking by now.”

Patrick glances at the clock on the nightstand before rolling onto his back again and rubbing at his eyes. He yawns again as Pete climbs up onto the bed and over his thighs to lay down beside him.

“I don’t frolic. And it’s six to.”

It's not like you can forget the words
By megyal || PG || ~3,000 words

"I didn't do it on purpose, the strap just broke! Fucking strap." Joe crosses his arms over his chest. "And dude, you know me."

"I don't." Patrick frowns and then jerks his chin towards Pete and Andy, which is a monumentally bad idea, for the ache in his poor head ramps up. "Ow. I know them. I've seen them around, I think I've been to some shows? I think. This band, I can't remember... oh yeah, Arma Something." He stares at Pete for a long time. "Shit, you're Pete Wentz."

Born Under a Bad Sign
By airinshaw || ~11,500 words || minor Spencer/Brendon

Everyone knew that Pete was a werewolf. Everyone who was important to Pete, anyway. It had been a necessity to tell his band; they were going to be touring, living first in a van and then on buses, taking planes and crossing into countries where the moon cycled just as often.

all the daughters of my father's house
By queen_geek || R || (genderswap)

When he gets to Pete’s house, he stands on the front step, shifting his weight from his left to his right foot and back again, trying to decide why the hell he bothers with Pete, sometimes. Pete’s loud and kind of smelly and he does stupid, annoying things sometimes and he wakes people up in the middle of the fucking night to talk about feelings and chord progressions. Patrick’s on the verge of turning around and heading back home, when the door flies open. Pete’s on the other side. Sort of. It’s sort of Pete? It’s -- well, it has Pete’s hair and Pete’s eyes and Pete’s sunny disposition, and it’s wearing Pete’s brown hoodie but. It also has boobs.


i know you will, i know you well
By unprolific || NC-17 || ~3,600 words

"Sometimes," Patrick grits out. "I really hate my parents."

Pete asks, "How come?" angling his head in curiosity.

"Because they prevent me from taking you home," Patrick admits. He's not sure if he's ever seen Pete blush, didn't even know it was possible, but he swears he can see the flush of Pete's cheeks illuminated by the dim glow of the sodium lights in the lot where they're parked.

Operation Jealousy
By scribblinlenore || NC-17 || ~9,000 words || (Bandom/House crossover)

Summary: Patrick has to make Pete jealous. Doctor's orders.

Pete pushes Patrick toward the doctor. "Fix him. Please."

"Oh, sure. Because this isn't going to be a big waste of four years of medical school," Dr. House says with a roll of his eyes.

He starts to walk away, and Pete prods Patrick to follow. Patrick draws his arm back to take a swing. Whoever said violence isn't the answer never met Pete.

"You're totally missing a symptom here!" Pete calls after the doctor.

Filthy Kings
By femmequixotic || NC-17 || ~6500 words || with Gabe/William

Summary: The opening night of Angels and Kings is a lot more entertaining than Patrick expects.

Charlie'd been the one to insist on the cameras.

Pete had thought it was a stupid idea because it was a dive bar, for Christ's sake, and Charlie had just looked at him, arms crossed over his chest, and he'd blinked slowly, once, then twice, with that calm, I-really-don't-give-a-fuck look on his face that even Pete couldn't argue with.

Little You and I (locked)
By foxxcub || PG-13 || 1,500 words || || minor Jon/Spencer || (high school AU)

From what Ryan's told him, Spencer and Jon aren't exactly dating, they're...mini golf buddies. Or something. Patrick doesn't really ask; whenever Jon's name comes up, Spencer goes very, very pink and starts glaring at Ryan.

"You're gesturing and going Spencer Pink." Ryan sighs, shakes his head. "Seriously, don't even bother, okay? Everyone loves Pete. It's like a prerequisite for going to school here."

This story's going somewhere
By jamjar || 42,000 words || (ageswap AU)

Summary: In which Pete is still young enough that people are hopeful he will one day act his age, Joe is under no such illusion, and Patrick and Andy are old enough to know better (but young enough to do it anyway).

"How old is he?" Pete interrupts. "Because if he's some skeevy old guy picking up impressionable young high school boys in book stores…" He shakes his head. "You need to leave that kind of guy to me."

Joe rolls his eyes and says, "Yeah, not your type. He seems sane for a start."

"And yet, he's trying to pick up jailbait groupies in Borders."

Make My Troubles Rhyme
By giddygeek || Adult || 8,500 words

Summary: Sort of an AU. Mostly just the other side of the story.

"Fuck you too," Pete tells his mirrored self, and it's not a conscious decision when he lashes out, it's instinct. His fist hits the glass, dead square on his own face, and the glass shatters like it was waiting for him to make a move.

"Shit," he yelps, cradling his hand, but his reflection staggers back with his hand on his eye and says "Fucking oww."

Gather No Moss
By giddygeek || 3,500 words || (Make My Troubles Rhyme sequel)

Summary: This isn't going to be another puff piece about Pete Wentz.

"Dad fell off his bike yesterday," she tells me, eyeing Wentz with grave disapproval before sighing. "No bike for Dad for a week now."

Doctor's orders? Wentz seems unharmed -- no casts, bruises, scrapes, or slow movements.

"Patrick's orders," Wentz says. He grins. "I'm grounded."

By ficbyzee || PG || 4,263 words

"If you run out of clothes you'll just sing naked, no big deal. That was a joke, ma'am," Pete says, turning to Patrick's mom. "I promise we won't let him perform in the nude until he's at least sixteen."

"I feel so reassured," his mom says, her voice dry.

Just like Virginia Woolf
By iphignia939 || (genderswap)

"Okay," Pete said after a very long time. "So you're a chick."

"No shit," Patrick snapped, but he still looked green.

Actually, that wasn't entirely true. He looked nauseous, not green; if anything, his skin looked milky. His hair was a little longer than it had been the night before, so that it came to just below his chin in a bob that showed off the curve of his jawline, and the sideburns were gone.

Be Sought Or Seeking (Or Found)
By crayola123 || NC-17 || over 10,000 words

The first time, the time that is the it it, is too hot too much not enough, Pete can barely breathe with it. Fucking Patrick is here, fucking panting here beneath him, oh god, he's fucking- Patrick. Patrick's fucking eyes are shut, his fucking gorgeous eyes.

Patrick: his mostly straight best friend.

Patrick is the singer in his band, Patrick is the best decision he ever made, Patrick is--

I Want Your Body (To Feed Off Of)
By sharon_hate || PG-13

Summary: Pete gets sucked into an alternate dimension where everything is a total cliché, and holy shit. There are real fucking vampires here, dude. What the fuck.

"So you have all the same people on your side?" Andy asks idly, turning the manuscript’s tattered pages carefully. The book is very old and very magic and must be treated delicately, even if it is being totally useless at the moment. Pete sighs fitfully.

"Yeah, pretty much," he says distractedly, too busy pointedly ignoring his undead self and the dirty looks he's sending his way the entire night. The worst part is that he's starting to get why everyone thinks he's such a douchebag. "I've got a Beckett, only he's not evil or anything, just colorful."

Change (In the House of Pete)
By lierdumoa || PG-15 || 3,832 words

Summary: Figures that despite this being all Pete's fault, Patrick would still somehow end up being the Rumpelstiltskin in this fucked up scenario.

"So who's baby is this?"


Patrick tears his eyes away from the tiny squinched up face resting in his palm to look at Pete.

"It's a long story, but it's kind of. Um. Ours? If you want."

Patrick blinks. "What?"

Any Ordinary Stranger 
By adellyna || PG-13 || 11,000 words

Summary: Bandboys with superpowers! Sort of!

Pete is handsy, but this is more of a "honey, I'm home" than Patrick usually gets from him. He pets Pete's arm anyway, turns his head a little and pretends like he's not nuzzling when he whispers, "What are you singing me?"

"Dunno," Pete whispers back. "Crazy dude on the subway was singing it. It made me think of you."

Leaving You Alone With Me 
By 3jane and mimesere || PG

Summary: This is how Pete and Patrick got married.

"This is True Love," says Pete, "you think this happens every day?"

Patrick blinks at him and shrugs a little. "Well. Yeah."

Only, that's not actually where the story starts. It could start with the year Pete was born, or the year Patrick was, or the day Patrick met Joe in Borders, or the day Pete heard Patrick sing, but it doesn't start there either, this time. It starts in Canada.

I've Got New Shoes (Intelligence Included) 
adellyna || NC-17 || 3,200 words

Summary: This is how Pete and Patrick got married.

"You're drunk," Pete says.

"I am not," Patrick protests. He leans his weight heavily on his kneecaps, forces his ass off the couch, considers the grain of the coffee table (really quite interesting when one's nose is a quarter of an inch from the surface), and finally staggers to his feet. "And I'll thank you to stay in focus. It's rude to be all... swimmy."

and the moon in their net
By iphignia939

Summary: In which it is proven that there’s a perfectly valid reason for Pete to be such a total freak, and hey, all those Emma Bull novels? Totally true.

"Okay, so." Pete hesitated. "There really isn't any good way to say this, is there? So I'll just say it." He took a deep breath. "I'm a faerie."

"Yeah, I know," Patrick said. "I've seen the guys you sneak into club bathrooms with, man."

Semi-Decent Proposals
By misspamela || PG-13 || 3,650 words

Pete untangled himself from Patrick and grabbed a towel from Dirty, who always had them ready right when the band got off stage. He wiped the sweat from his face and threw the towel at Patrick. “And if ‘Sugar’ hits the top ten, I’m going to marry you, motherfucker.” Pete grinned again, and this time it wasn’t goofy, it was the grin that was going to get him on the cover of a million teenie mags. Patrick would bet money on it.

the last good thing about this part of town
By just_katarin || R || 15,333 words

Summary: Fresh out of college, Pete Wentz is Patrick’s new Government teacher. That would be fine except they’re still Pete and Patrick.

When he shuffles into Government just before the bell rings (he’d been exchanging CDs with Joe after English), there are no less than three girls with dyed hair and lip rings telling Mr. Wentz how much they all loved Arma and what a “completely awesome bass player” he was. Patrick laughs so hard he nearly trips and won’t look at any of them while he goes to find his seat.

By marrymemerry || NC-17

Summary: Someone in the band likes Patrick.

"Someone in the band likes you," Pete says, like crafts has BLTs today or they're in high school or something.


"Somebody..." Pete starts, being slowly, so that Patrick knows that they are back in high school. "In the band..." Patrick's going to kill Pete. It's going to be nice and bloody and make for the best Behind the Music in history. "Likes you."

A Little More Sixteen Candles
By provetheworst || R || ~6,685 words || (high school AU)

"Hi," Pete says. "I'm Pete. Pete Wentz. I think we're maybe in a class together?"

"Yeah, uh, we're actually in two classes," Patrick says. "We have been for the past six months. And, uh, we've been in four other classes over the past two years, just so you know."

"Well, yeah, I knew that part. Sorry. Are we seriously in – oh, yeah, we are. Okay. Yeah, you're in Chem, too, that's what it is.”

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Say Anything
By provetheworst || NC-17 || 7,656 words || with Brendon/Ryan || (A Little More Sixteen Candles sequel)

“You know,” Pete says, flipping through stations on the radio. “People always say other people are hot, but if that were literally true then no one would have much fun because everyone good-looking would always be catching on fire.”

“Only ugly people could have sex,” Patrick says. “It'd breed out eventually.”

“Yeah, but then standards would change, and people would start thinking the ugly people were hot and it'd just start up all over again.” Pete pauses for a moment. “Hey, I like this song.”

By megyal || NC-17

"What?" Patrick says, blinking at the graffiti written on the back of the bus. "Who the fuck wrote this here? What the hell does it even say?"

"Patrick...Stump..." Joe reads, stopping to squint beside Patrick. "Dude, I don't know what the hell the rest of it might be. Ask Pete. He knows what these archaic hieroglyphics mean."

CJ Cregg Never Had This Problem
By torakowalski || PG-13 || 2,500 words

If the President were moving on any of the usually controversial stuff: school vouchers, abortion, global warming and the like, Pete would make interested noises, scribble a couple of notes, print a paragraph or two of largely manageable opinion and that would be it. But bring up gay rights or the President’s policy on Africa and Pete suddenly went from that kind of lazy, kind of crazy guy who popped up on TV now and then to an eloquent, impassioned writer who could get half the country rallied at his feet before breakfast.

It really did not make Patrick’s job any easier. More entertaining possibly, but not easier.

Spider Honey (locked)
By impertinence || PG-13

Summary: Pete is not the most observant person in the world.

Patrick paused in his chewing to say, “'as I ool-reds 'uck.”

“Newlyweds do suck,” Pete agreed, “but Mikey's not a newlywed, he's Mikey.”

Patrick gave Pete a long look that Pete chose to interpret as 'you are exceptionally beautiful early in the morning' instead of what he thought it probably was, which was 'duh, you moron'. “Okay,” Pete said. “He's a newlywed, sort of.”

Patrick shook his head and went back to eating his eggs.

I Hope He Is A Gentleman
By offtheceiling || R || ~2000 words || (school AU)

“I really like you,“ Pete says seriously. And, hey, maybe it's not so bad that Patrick is fourteen, because Pete is apparently a twelve year old girl.

++ A Mess Of Youthful Innocence

Alternative Girlfriend
By kueble || NC-17 || 3,195 words || (genderswap)

Patrick rolled over and flung an arm over Pete’s chest, not bothering to open his eyes. He skimmed his hand over his boyfriend’s body, skirting beneath his t-shirt and resting just beneath the curve of Pete’s breast.


Patrick’s eyes flew open with the realization that his boyfriend definitely should not have breasts.

Chord Change
By giddygeek || Adult || 3,600 words

Summary: Try this instead.

"Another whole band bites the dust?" Ryan asks, and Pete laughs a little.

"I added 'em to the list like three months ago," he says.

"Dude, sorry."

"It's actually hilarious," Pete says, hitting play again. "Some day I'll find a band that doesn't go gay for Patrick in an hour or less. Somewhere. Maybe I'll try a redneck country band or something."

(hold me, i'm a) Fermata
By giddygeek || 2,000 words || (Chord Change sequel)

Patrick cracks up laughing in his ear. Up in the house, someone opens a window, tosses a can of beer out without leaning over to look, and still manages to hit Pete in the gut with astonishing accuracy. He feels like an alley cat, abused for expressing his true, horny love, but whatever. At least there's beer.

Hope You Survive the Experience
By iphignia939 || one in a series || (X-men AU)

Pete was standing there, shirtless, pointing at the soccer ball touching Patrick's foot. "Can I--"

"Oh!" Patrick coughed. Pete's skin looked olive-gold in the late afternoon light, occasionally broken up with the ink from his tattoos. He pulled his field in on himself, making it thin enough to touch things through, and kicked it over to him. "Um, sorry. I just--" He glanced at his iPod. "--wasn't paying attention, I guess. It happens."

A Mess Of Youthful Innocence
By offtheceiling || NC-17 || ~3000 words || (sequel to I Hope He Is A Gentleman )

Patrick realizes he has Pete Wentz standing on his front porch wearing nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs. The shade of red he turns is probably not found in nature.

Four cracktastic bits of advice [or the crack!Patrick Attack]
By megyal || R

"I hate when you clone two at once," Pete spat at the Patricks, who all gave him identical sunny smiles. "Dude, it gives me a headache."

"I need one for melody--" Patrick said, the Original.

"--one for low range--" PatrickOne piped up.

"--and one for upper range. It makes working out the choral parts a whole lot fucking easier, let me tell you." PatrickTwo said, looking at Pete smugly.

"You are so very vain," Pete muttered at them and the Patricks laughed in harmony.

Being An Examination Of The Literary Achievements Of An Emo Band
By apiphile and groaty || PG

Summary: FOB only have themselves to blame for this.



Turn My Head Into Sound
By ficbyzee

Summary: Pete Wentz has a big mouth.

He did it the first time almost without thinking about it. They were playing a show and he fucking *knew* that Patrick could be singing louder and better than he was, not to mention that his body was so damn tense he resembled a robot more than a rock star.

So Pete came up behind him. "You're doing great," he whispered in Patrick's ear, nowhere near the mic. "They all love you, you've *got* this," and maybe it was Pete's imagination but Patrick seemed to relax a fraction, and he belted out the next chorus so well that Pete could feel Patrick's voice like a rope of electricity through his whole body, making Pete shudder and shake and almost forcing him to his knees.

fueled by chlorophyll
By trascendenza || PG-13 || 3,310 words

Summary: In which Gabe Saporta is a stalk of corn, Brendon just wants his tomatoes fondled, and Spencer will shank anyone who tries to make food out of him.

When Pete turned down a pissed off fourteen-year old’s offer to come live in her basement as her personal slave, he expected the hissy fit she threw, sure. And the unreasonable demands and wheedling weren’t really much of a surprise. And the name-calling and melodramatic threats? Totally par for the course. Pete had dealt with way freakier proposals than that before; he didn’t even bother with signaling security, it was so routine.

Not a Big Deal
By lovelypoet || NC-17 || ~3,000 words || (telepathy!fic)

"Did you bitch me out for my internal monologue last night?" He asks Pete, who stares glumly at his bowl of cornflakes. Thinks, and if he wanted pancakes, why didn't he order them?

"I thought I wanted cereal." Pete says without moving his lips, then looks up and everything is synched again. "Fuck you, internal monologues don't wake me up at three in the morning and get the stupidest tune in the world lodged in my head."

"Huh." Patrick says... and thinks.

and that is what she said
By turnpikedarling and [livejournal.com profile] aubateau || PG-13 || 636 words

Summary: pete is a sketchy mechanic who makes lewd jokes and patrick needs his tire fixed.

His name tag says that his name is Pete, but when he shook Patrick's hand he introduced himself as Jason and Patrick is sufficiently sketched out enough not to get inquisitive.

"Dude," Pete (because Patrick trusts labels on jackets more than he trusts people) says. "You're lucky this thing didn't blow you real hard."

Patrick splutters, looking at the nearly-shredded inside of his back tire. "Excuse me?"

Driving at the Speed of Night
By matchsticks_p|| PG-13

Summary: Patrick is all the luggage Pete will ever need.

“Wanna go for a drive?” Somehow, Pete is fully dressed and swinging car keys in cheerful little circles.

“You don’t have a car,” Patrick feels obligated to point out.

“It’s a rental,” Pete replies, already walking out of the room, and Patrick finds himself getting up to follow him before he can consciously stop himself.

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails (what little boys are made of)
By giddygeek || Adult || 6,000 words || (...reverse genderswap?)

Pete didn't notice the notice the change until the next afternoon. It hadn't happened at the carnival, or the show they'd done after; she was sure of that. But when she woke up and stumbled towards her bathroom, pushing her boxers off her hips, the elastic caught kind of painfully on the kind of dangly but sort of not, entirely new set of pipes between her legs.

The Principle of the Matter
By miserylovedme || R || 681 words

“Find my pants and I’ll give you a ride home.” Patrick leans back down and gives him another kiss. “Don’t want Mama Stump to hate me.”

“Well she already thinks you’re too old to be hanging out with me,” Patrick says, tossing Pete his jeans and turning off the DVD player.

Rumble! (locked)
By iamtheenemy || ~900 words

Summary: A bar in southern Illinois, August 2003.

He twirled a piece of her long hair around his finger and was leaning in when a crash sounded behind him. He jerked around - probably taking a good chunk of the girl's hair with him - and saw Patrick on the ground in a full-out brawl with one of the guys who was in the meager audience that night.

That Saturday Morning
By gigantic || PG || 1,368 words

Pete hadn't been anticipating him this morning.

He raises his head just enough to show Patrick that he's awake. Patrick sniffs, taking off his jacket, and he moves closer to Pete's bed as he does, draping it along the edge of the mattress.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3: anon!fic | part 3: comment!fic | | part 4: bbb | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | beam me up, scotty

part two

Let The Record Show
By adellyna and 
wishpaper || NC-17 || 4,700 words

Summary: Van days, Patrick maybe gets a little drunk. Pete's mama didn't raise no fool. Also, video camera shenanigans.

"Peeete," he says. "I'm not very photogenic, you know."

Pete personally thinks that Patrick is very photogenic. "Whatever, dude, you're a fuckin' rock star." He turns the camera toward Patrick, hits the power button, squints at him through the viewfinder. "Hotness is pre-programmed into your veins."

Slip through // Ever the thief
By lazenby 
|| R || (firefly au)

“At first,” Pete says, “I thought maybe I was going too far. Like, okay, they’re ugly dudes, but did I need to call them on it?” He pauses, looking around the room. “Yes, yes I did. But did I need to rub their faces in it?” He waits another beat. “Also yes,” he says laughing.

Patrick frowns. “One of these days that mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble,” he says.

Summary: Joe is a meddling little dude, and Patrick loves Pete.

Joe raises his eyebrows. “What do you like then, Patrick?” he asks.

And this is the moment where Patrick spills his guts about his kinky little fetish, and how he likes it when people talk dirty to him musically. If he could strike this moment out of existence, he would do it, right this second.

Instead, Patrick finds himself on a mission. A mission to find and destroy everything that Joe Trohman holds dear. And then to find everything else of his and destroy it, too. But first, he needs to brush his teeth.

Tutoring (dead link)
By okubyo_kitsune || PG-13

Summary: Patrick sucks at poetry. A lot. Pete is sent to tutor him!

There was nothing else to say about it: Patrick was terrible at poetry. Specifically writing it. He was sort of good at analyzing it and understanding it, and he could make a mean magnetic poem on the dorm's refrigerator. He can't write it, though. Can't go from words circulating around his mind to words on a paper in some sort of order that makes it flow or whatever it's supposed to do.

Patrick fucking hates poetry.

Mr. Sandman (dead link)
By stealstheashes || PG-13 || 1,098 words

Summary: Pete can't sleep. Patrick's annoyed. Magical Realism, yay!

Once upon a time there was a boy named Pete and he couldn’t sleep. The worst part was that every night, as he lay awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling, writing in his notebooks, he could feel his dreams. They were always there, just out of reach. He’s pretty sure they were amazing, full of adventures on islands, flying, bestfriends and road trips. Knowing he’s never truly alone.

By circuity || PG-13

It wasn't that Patrick had spent much time contemplating what Pete would look like as a lamp, per se. But if he had thought about it, he probably wouldn't have bet on paisley.

Neon green paisley.

“Maybe it’s… modelled after some of his clothing choices?” Joe ventured when Patrick brought it up over breakfast, which Andy had very sensibly made them eat in order to settle their nerves. Or something.

Time to Dance, Dance
By megyal || NC-17 || ~4,200 words

"You know," Pete panted with a blinding grin as Patrick shoved at his ivy-like limbs, firmly wrapped around Patrick's flailing form, "if I didn't know any better, I'd swear you're hiding from me." He released Patrick with an annoying chuckle.

Patrick scowled. "I was," he snapped, pawing around for his hat. "I didn't know if you'd understand the meaning of 'fuck the fuck off, Pete,' so I just hid. Which didn't work out. So, fuck the fuck off, Pete."

The Day Pete Woke Up a Vampire
By frk_werewolf || PG-13
 || (vampire au)

"I'm a fucking vampire!" he says, bouncing in the middle of his hotel bed.


"A vampire. A fucking vampire!"

"Don't call me ever again."

someday, Glasgow will be so two years ago
By iphignia939

“So basically,” he finally says, “you guys are worried because I was out doing grown-up things that are part of my job title, and my ex-boyfriend got engaged, and I wasn’t out shooting people with paintball guns?”

”And you dyed your hair,” Patrick adds.

”I dyed my—“ Pete closes his eyes and presses his fingertips against his eyelids.

it's not a side effect of the lsd; i am thinking it must be love

"Careful," Pete chimes in, and he sounds all sweet and concerned, the bastard. "You might burn up in re-entry." His voice is pitched just a touch low, could easily be interpreted as sultry. Damn it.

"Foam?" Patrick says vaguely, thinking of the space shuttle. Which, actually, is sort of phallic in and of itself, and -- and right now, he's really, really hard.

Quiet is the New Loud (I Will Follow You Into the Dark)
By sobrellevar

It got worse when they left it alone.

That is to say: not everything resolves itself if you just lock it away, not everything is so easily wrapped-up and forgotten.

Pete still jokes about the blindness -- it’s gotten quite bad now, by anyone’s standards, with the stumbling, et cetera, though nobody knows exactly what Pete sees and doesn’t see --, and the band still laughs weakly, looks of concern crossing their faces at different intervals, as if it were a peculiarly uniform mask they all shared.

Find Out What It Means
By dsudis || NC-17 || 18,036 words || (hooker AU)

Patrick needs an adult. Pete isn't one.

"I've figured out bands work better if nobody in them is crazier than I am. So I wanted to ask you what's up with the hat. It was the hat, right?"

Patrick was wearing a baseball cap today, green with a faded, unreadable logo on the front in white; when Patrick looked down all Pete could see was the sweat-stained bill hiding his face.

Patrick said, "Yeah, it's..."

He reached up, adjusting the hat, and then lifted his chin again. "I should tell you. You--I have to tell you something."

Nobody Wants Reality Tour 2010
By elle_dritch || R

"I realise that Vicky and me haven't always been- I mean, it's been very off and on. And then off-on-off-off-on. But it's been three years and my mother keeps talking about grandkids, and toaster ovens for some reason, so it just seemed like the next logical step. I know you probably have concerns and objections."

Joe snorts. "Yeah, me and the state of Massachusetts, dude."

"What?" Patrick looks around for enlightenment and maybe some back-up for an intervention, but only catches Pete shaking his head vigorously at Joe and making threatening throat-cutting gestures.

By periculosa || PG-13

Summary: Patrick is a photographer with missing inspiration, and Pete accidentally helps him find it. AU.

Just as Patrick was lowering himself to the viewfinder, a man walked along the path in front of him. He smiled at Patrick, and Patrick faltered slightly on the way down, but managed a smile in return regardless. The man walked on, the shots were snapped, the moment was caught on film, and Patrick was satisfied.

Don't Worry Your Head
By megyal || PG || 1,100 words

"Look, she won't go to sleep, no matter what I try. So, just tell me what you do, and I'll try that."

You'd know what I do if you were here more, Patrick nearly ground out and to his bemusement, found himself doing his own inhale-exhale.

"I sing to her," he finally admitted, a little grudgingly.

"Of course you do. But what? Hey, you know what, let me in. I won't mess up your little sanctuary too much, promise."

The Sun Always Shines Here
By enoughoflove || PG-13 || 8,344 words || (Portland AU)

The door slams open a little before seven and Joe comes sloshing through the front door, accompanied by what looks like an enormous drowned rat, bringing in water and leaves on a gust of wind.

"Hey," Joe says, shaking his hair out of his eyes and getting water everywhere. "This is Patrick."

Patrick is, apparently, not a rat but a teenaged looking kid with glasses completely fogged and covered in water, an old trucker's hat covering blonde shaggy hair and a little over five feet of stocky boy.

we could make beautiful music together - 18 (glenview)
By iphignia939 || 8,472 words

Summary: It's NOT okay to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests.

we could make beautiful music together - 18
Reply to: pers-252077738@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-12-02, 09:47 CST

Me: 18, glasses, about to graduate high school, looking for someone to appreciate the finer points of Bowie, Motown, and Saves the Day. You: I'll get back to you on that. Your pic gets mine.

i like finger instruments and mouth organs - 18 (glenview)
By iphignia939 || 8,472 words ||remix

Summary: Your pic gets mine.

The best thing, the easiest thing, was to post an ad on craigslist and see if anyone responded. Writing it had been the hard part; there was a fine line between "coy" and "cute", and he'd wanted to be the latter rather than the former, if only because "coy" implied no follow-through. Also, he'd had to talk himself out of using deliberately bad grammar and spelling; sure, he wanted to get laid, but he still had some fucking standards.

(There'd been about two days where he'd actually thought about getting a male escort or something -- through the Yellow Pages, not from, like, a street corner or something -- but that involved money, and probably a hotel room, which meant more money. It just seemed easier to find someone willing online.)

woobies. just woobies.
By femmequixotic || (mpreg)

He hadn't asked for any of this. Not for Patrick, not for the baby, not for any of this, and he knew he was being unreasonable, knew he was being the kind of guy he hated, one who didn't step up and take responsibility but Jesus, Patrick was a guy—a pregnant guy—and anyway, he'd tried to hide it from him and what sort of guy does that to the father—

Et Tu (locked)
By impertinence || PG-13

Summary: Basically this is a fic about Patrick being fluent in Pete and Pete trying to tell Patrick the important things. Schmoooooooop.

Sometimes Pete gives him scraps of paper--shit scribbled on the back of receipts, decorating the edge of the kids' menu coloring paper he always requests at TGI Friday's--and Patrick always blinks down at it, lips pursed, before saying something like, "You know, you could just stop calling her."

And Pete never asks how he knows, or denies what Patrick's saying, because this. This is Patrick, and he knows like most people know the sky is blue. It's okay.

Angel Pumping Gas
By ribbonsonwrists || g || 618 words

Summary: Angel pumping gas, why won't this moment last? It's fate my life has brought me here today. Soon I'll be on my way, though I wish that I could stay...

The boy nodded, opening the gas tank and starting to pump. He went over to the center aisle, picked up a squeegee and began cleaning the windows, standing on the tips of his toes to reach the front windshield. He flashed Pete a small smile, and kept cleaning the windows.

"I think I love you," Pete breathed, unaware he'd spoken out loud. He was staring at the boy in any reflective surface he could, his knuckles white on the steering wheel. "Maybe it's just the fumes."

nothing but time
By kristiinthedark || R || ~800 words

"Because that would've made you a perv. Being hot for my under-aged body back then."

"Right," Pete says, coming up on one elbow and leaning towards Patrick until their foreheads meet. Their legs tangle together, and Patrick can feel through the denim that Pete's really fucking hard. "I never had one pervy thought about you."

"Right," Patrick whispers. "I had plenty about you, though."

The Making Of
By kosher_pareve || PG-13 || Bedussey II

“Tell me again,” Patrick said as he shifted uncomfortably in his polyester dress shirt and tried in vain not to breathe through his nose, “why anyone would pick up a hooker outside a port-a-potty.”

Pete gave him a dirty look and reapplied his lipstick—a truly heinous orange-red that did nothing for his olive skin—for the fourth time that night.

Also Evil, Also Into Cats
By megyal || PG || 1,071 words

Crack/AU ficlet, in which Patrick is an EVOL GENIUZ, maybe. Inspired partly by Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog and something Pete wrote.

patrick is the maddest scientist you will ever meet.
-Pete Wentz

Scars and Stories
By strangecobwebs || 7,360 words

wentz- how's it going? ran into andrew the other day and we started talking about you. thought i'd say hey and see how you're doing. i heard the tour's going well. can't wait till you guys get to chi town! already got tickets. gimme a call when you get in.

ps- hey man, i don't know if you heard, but Jeanae eloped. got married last week in Vegas.

also fond of hats
By jezzabe || R

Summary: Pete's a music producer. Patrick's a studo musician who needs a flatmate. MikeyWay's an enabler.

"Pete, call me Pete. The only time I get Peter is when I'm in trouble, you know what I mean, Patty?"

Patrick ground his teeth together. "It's Patrick. Patrick, not Patty."

"Sure, sure, Trick. So, anyway, like I was saying. I'm a music producer. It's pretty sweet, but I need to move out of my parents place, man. I can pay like, three months rent upfront, and I've got an X-box?"

a five-letter word meaning ardor
By iphignia939

Summary: Oh, like you've never had a crush on someone you work with?

Pete's smart -- not just smart, crazy-smart, the kind that can make Simpsons jokes one minute and analyze Sharon Olds' poetry the next. He's funny, and a little crazy, and sometimes he can be kind of a dick, but he's not actually *trying* to be. He just...doesn't always think about what he says before he says it. And that's fine.

Part of it -- a tiny part, but a part nonetheless -- is a lingering hint of fanboy, Patrick can admit: seeing Pete as Pete from Racetraitor, not just Pete, That Guy Who Owes Me Twenty Bucks.

repair anything sold, bought, or processed
By misspamela || NC-17 || (hooker AU)

“Hey,” A guy hissed from the mouth of an alleyway. “Hey, come here.”

Pete had a lot of practice ignoring Chicago’s crazies. He just kept walking.

“I’ve got a hundred bucks, man. A hundred bucks for five minutes.” The guy waved some green at Pete and yeah, it looked like a bunch of twenties. As Pete got closer, he realized that the guy didn’t look crazy or homeless. He was just a dude in a parka.

Voices of My Better Angels
By gonnafeelgood || R || ~1,800 words

Pete always tells reporters that being in Fall Out Boy is like hanging out with his three best friends all the time and getting paid for it.

That’s one of the few times that he is being totally honest. Well … 90% honest.

It’s hard to bring up the deeper, philosophical impacts of wanting to fuck one of your three best friends to a Tiger Beat reporter. Not that Pete hadn’t tried, but Patrick had slapped his hand over Pete’s mouth and Andy had started a tirade about the need for vegan inks in more tattoo shops.

rather fight with you
By longtime_lurker || NC-17 || ~3,700 words

When was the last time you hit someone?
My last real physical fight was with Patrick, our singer, on the road, years ago. I strangled him against our van. I had been up forever and was totally out of my head and he said something about me being crazy or something. I have a short fuse, but it doesn’t work out, ’cause I’m, like, four-foot-seven...

- Pete Wentz in Blender, March 2007

You'd Love to Lead
By giddygeek || Adult || 4,200 words || Pete/Patrick/AU Patrick

Summary: Dance, Dance video AU.

There's streamers wilting everywhere, and the dance floor is covered in confetti and paper cups, soda spilled sticky and gross from one end to the other. Martin doesn't even want to think about it. Dancing tonight wasn't exactly the best experience of his life. "I looked at you and I thought, jeez, he looks like Patrick. Oh, yeah, sorry--Patrick's my singer. So, like, I wanted to stop you before you left, see if it was just a trick of the light or something."

so far we are
By loveyouallwrong || Adult || ~5,700 words

On the corner of Sheffield and Webster, a kid with a guitar shows up, halfway through Pete's senior year at DePaul. Pete doesn't usually cut through that way, so he would have never noticed except that there's this kid Joe he met at a basement hardcore show, who says, "Seriously, though. He's so cool, he plays rap? Only it's not really rap, it's with a guitar, and it's soulful, so you almost forget this dude is seriously singing T-Pain."

The Monroeville Farms Starlight Ride
By skoosiepants || PG-13 || 6,200+ words || (Sequel to Featuring Murray…)

At sixteen, Patrick might still have horse posters plastered all over his bedroom walls, might still sleep on cowboy sheets and have a sagging bookshelf full of riding mags, worn Marguerite Henry books, but none of that is half as embarrassing as his enormous crush on Pete Wentz.

I've Got Headaches and Bad Luck (But They Don't Touch You)
By offtheceiling || NC-17 ||~2,000 words

Summary: Patrick just wants to get laid! Is that really too much to ask?

It’s not even that Patrick’s, like, obsessed with sex or whatever. He is not, thank god, Gabe Saporta. But he is a guy and he does think about it, except recently all the thinking has been about how much of it he isn’t having.

hit it hard enough and even skin will tear
By 3jane || (D/s)

He expected Pete to push him off, or at least fight him. He didn't. He went absolutely still. Big eyes staring at Patrick while Patrick made what was, at the time, a fairly serious attempt to kill him.

When Patrick finally let go, Pete just dropped. Down on his knees in the filthy gravel of this tiny gas station in the middle of fucking nowhere, absolutely quiet and staring up at Patrick. And then he brought one hand up and touched his neck. Not even like it hurt.

He remembers realizing Pete was hard.

A Love Song By Any Other Name
By formerlydf || with Brendon/Ryan || UST

"Patrick Stump!" Brendon repeats like a scratched CD, snuggling himself down and tossing his legs over Patrick's lap. "We should write a song."

Patrick's not entirely sure what he'd been expecting, but that wasn't it.

Prufrock and Other Poems
By formerlydf || with Brendon/Ryan || (A Love Song By Any Other Name sequel) || UST

Summary: Brendon and Patrick are writing a song; Ryan and Pete have yet to figure out how they feel about that.

Who the fuck are you texting so much?"

Brendon pauses and looks at Ryan almost guiltily. Why, Ryan has no idea. "Patrick," he says after a moment.

Ryan blinks. "Really?" Brendon nods, and Ryan considers this. "I didn't know you were that close."

Brendon shrugs. "Kind of, I guess. We hung out a lot when you and Pete were off together."

the &^%damned arms race (or negotiations or how patrick got out of doing the spoken part at the AMA's)
By megyal || NC-17 || 843 words

"Are you listening? Here's the deal. You say the spoken part in the song-"

Pete snapped around to him, snake-fast.

"Ok, no. God, no. That's your part, you do it good, there's nothing you can do to make me-"

"-and I'll give you a hand job now...and. Ok, and a blowjob later."

Untitled PWP
By giddygeek || ~1,300 words

Pete is trying to pout around a smirk, looking at him sadly from underneath dark lashes; he's wearing eyeliner and mascara, which is a totally unfair double whammy, and Patrick kind of hates him a little. And Patrick's not giving in.

He shakes his head, frowning, and Pete changes tactics, frowning back at him and saying, "Aaw, come on! I'd do it for you!"

Patrick snorts. "I don't want you to do it for me!"

in which pete wonders why his life is an outline for a death cab for cutie song
By stereomer || R

"You hate people - " Patrick cuts himself off. "You know what, I don't even know. I'm sorry, I'm just really fucking tired." He scrubs a hand over his face and keeps rubbing his forehead as Pete leans in to wrap his arm around Patrick's shoulders.

Maybe Pete knows, on some level, what this is all about, because his eyes are already closed when Patrick kisses him.

All I Want For Christmas
By tremblings || PG-13

“Okay, what?”

“Dude, what’s up?” Pete makes big innocent eyes at him but Patrick isn’t fooled. Not at all.

“I like that you’re expressing yourself with your camera phone in a way that doesn’t involve your genitals, but can you leave me out of it, please?”

“Do the math,” Pete says, and he disappears singing Jingle Bells, loudly and purposefully off-key.

Hung Like A (locked)
By impertinence || Adult

Summary: Bondage porn that exists because of this picture. Patrick ties Pete up! \o/

"No underwear," Patrick said. "Shocking."

"You're wearing my last pair," Pete said, sounding a little sulkier than he meant to.

And Patrick--Patrick fucking lay down at Pete's feet, shimmying out his pants and briefs. "Now I'm not," he said, and kissed Pete's ankle.

Don't Worry Your Head
By queenofhell || PG-13 || 9,727 words

Summary: "in the morning itll all be better / dont worry your head just go to sleep."

“Patrick?” Patrick just looked at him, and Pete was immediately up on his feet and then down on his knees, in front of Patrick. “Hey, hey—you okay? What happened?”

“My mom,” Patrick said. He felt a little angry, and a whole lot confused, because what the fuck, and deep inside the pit of stomach where he wouldn’t even admit the emotions existed, sad and lonely and sort of scared. “She didn’t…she said she wasn’t my mother. I think…I think she didn’t recognize me.”

I've Got Your Number One Bullet Right Here, Baby
By femmequixotic and [livejournal.com profile] supergrover24 || NC-17 || 6,548 words

God, Pete drives him crazy, and Patrick can't think about him like that. It's a bad idea. He knows that, and he's not willing to risk his best friend just for a quick fuck. No matter how good he daydreams about it being.

So instead Patrick shifts his Gibson in front of him, hiding as best he can his dick that can break rocks just about now. He tries not to look at Pete. Fuck, he tries.

It's just that Patrick's never been any damn good at ignoring Pete Wentz.

Existentialism On Prom Night
By marigolde || 1,400 words

Summary: Ficus plants, pancakes, and a very surly Patrick.

"We got our yearbooks yesterday. I'm not in it. I missed senior portraits when our van broke down in Ohio last October. I'm not in any club photos either, cause I wasn't in any clubs. I was always with the band. And tonight was my one chance for a shot at a normal high school experience and it sucked and I blame you."

Pete gives himself a moment before answering, "Well, that's really not fair, is it? I wasn't even there."

The One Where Patrick Wears Panties
By das_kabinett || 1,600 words

Pete hands the panties to Patrick in the morning.

He probably should have realized it was inevitable when he takes them, holds them gently between his fingers and wonders at the way the thin satin fabric catches against his calluses. They’re thin and lacy and the black fabric is dark against his pale skin; he can feel his breath catch, a little bit. But still, he can't just do this – it's insane, Pete can't really expect him to agree.

All the More Wanting
By languisity || NC-17

Summary: In which Pete annoys Patrick and phone sex ensues.

So, Patrick was a bitch sometimes. It just so happened that was one of Pete's favorite Patrick's. He spent most of his time trying to get him to make an appearance.

Current efforts were proving successful.

this is my rifle, this is my gun http://www.fichorde.com/viewstory.php?sid=904
By stereomer || 9,100 words

“See, because he's my fraternal twin. I mean, he has black hair and this totally different body physique that you can’t see in the picture because the blackjack table is in the way, not to mention that we don’t really look alike but that doesn’t really come across...” Patrick trails off, feeling vaguely stupid.

He gets a hold of himself and waves his hands as if to start over. “Listen, if you’re a detective, I’ve been through this before. If you can call the 56th precinct in New York and ask for Miller, he’ll tell you about the same misunderstanding that they had – ”

++ also: this is my rifle, this is my gun, outtake

Random Pete/Patrick
By lovelypoet and [personal profile] iphignia939

"Come on! Just do one! Or twelve!" He follows Patrick around with a tape recorder for like three days before Patrick just gives up and says "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together" in the most boring monotone ever.

Public Relations(hips)
By bayleaf || Adult || ~7,000 words

Summary: Sometimes Pete is stupid.

Around eleven, Pete woke up to a revelation. What he needed was to step it up a notch, really take this thing to the next level. It seemed important that people pay attention to Patrick and him, their friendship. He wanted someone to get it.

Pete didn’t waste any time wondering why.

woman like a man
By longtime_lurker || NC-17 || ~8000 words || (genderswap)

"You're still kinda shitty and dirty," observes Patrick, sounding faintly surprised, and Pete says, "Why the fuck wouldn't I be?" and hits him upside the head. Patrick may have some sort of don't-hit-girls shit going on, but Pete is not about to reciprocate.


Occasionally he pulls up the Sidekick photos on the Internet and looks nostalgically at his dick, wondering where exactly it is right now.

By airinshaw || ~2,700 words

Summary: Pete ventures into fandom.

It was just an experiment. It wasn't like Pete was planning on reading this stuff for pleasure, right? So that made it okay. The incident in the bathroom yesterday had clearly been a glitch. His body had been wired and stuff from the adrenaline.

By marrymemerry || NC-17 || 3,013 words

“That was like Hamlet,” Joe says afterward. He bounces on the balls of his feet while Andy watches him, and then cracks his neck and finally settles down. Pete presses himself to the wall, kicking backward in a slow rhythm. Left. Left right. Left. Left right. Left. Left right.

He does this until Patrick storms in, and then he pushes off as fast as he can and hides behind Joe. “I’ll fucking kill you, Wentz,” Patrick snaps. Joe tries to slide out of the way, toward safety and not between Pete and Patrick, but Pete has a grip like a fucking grippy thing and won’t let him do anything more than whirl around until their sides are to Patrick. Who kicks. Hard.

Mortality Rate Zero
By matchsticks_p || g

Summary: Pete and Patrick are going to live forever.

Pete doesn’t want to live a single moment without Patrick, and when he tells Patrick that he wants to die exactly one day before him so he wouldn’t have to, Patrick looks at him with wounded eyes.

“That’s so selfish,” he says, pulling his legs away from Pete and into himself. “Why do I have to be the one left behind?”

Bist Du Bei Mir
By kalpurna || NC-17 || 7,700 words || (Patrick's name is Ulrich in this fic.)

Summary: Ulrich is studying to be a monk in a small town in 1700s Germany. Peter has just returned from university. AU, obviously.

"Oh dear," Ulrich said, a little uselessly. "Um."

"Well, that's a nice way to greet an old friend," the stranger laughed. Ulrich blinked again. Suddenly, he realized why that face looked so familiar - it belonged to the eldest son of Albrecht Wentz, the rich local merchant.

"Peter?" he asked, and Peter smiled in acknowledgment.

Breaking Arrangements
By violentfires || NC-17 || 1,900 words

Summary: Two boys, one cold basement mattress.

They’re sharing a pillow, too, Patrick’s cheek claiming the lower corner of his half. The blanket randomly twitches again, a couple of times.

Pete’s a restless bastard who has trouble sleeping, this isn’t new, and generally on most days Patrick can be sympathetic. But he seriously doesn’t need to fidget so goddamn much when there’s blatantly no room for it. Patrick is about to comment along these lines when a tiny little sound escapes from Pete’s mouth, a warm, pleasured noise, almost a sigh, and the twitching of the blanket falls into a pattern. Suddenly in Patrick’s weary brain, it all clicks, sharp as the snap of a guitar string.

Hold Off Your Bets Now
By ficbyzee || NC-17 || 29,161 words

Summary: Don't you know/how sweet and wonderful life can be?/I'm askin' you, baby/To get it on with me.

"I've *seen* the way you flirt with those people at parties before you go off with them," Patrick says. "Dude, come on."

"That's not--whatever." Pete looks out the window instead of at Patrick. "I've never tried to lead anyone on, I just--you know, I can't fucking help it if other people have expectations, or, or if they want me to deliver something I can't, or if they want me more than I want them. It's all just--" Pete waves a hand, frustrated and jerky, and Patrick is glad that they're driving on a country highway in the middle of the night with not another car in sight. He trusts Pete's driving, but.

Star Differs From Star
By normalhumanbein || PG || ~2,000 words

The Monk grits his teeth. “Look, lad. You’re going to meet this bloke called Pete Wentz. You’re going to punch him in the face. Thing is, you can’t punch him in the face, alright? I know why you’d want to – the boy misses one bloody bus and he sends the whole continuum out of whack, I’d like to get my hands on him myself, but say no more – but don’t. He’s trying to make a good first impression and if you don’t play along the future caves in on itself and we all die or, more optimistically, cease to have ever been born.” He studies Patrick’s expression. “That’s a bad thing,” he adds.

By megyal || PG

"What are you guys, again?" Gerard asked low and raspy, watching warily as Pete stalked past them looking like a vexed cheetah. An extremely vexed cheetah who had been cheated out of his prey. Patrick smiled at him widely.

"You know," he said, watching as Pete's back stiffened. "Just friends. Bandmates. That's mainly it."

One for every day of the week
By megyal || PG || 2,200 words || (Future AU/kid!fic)

Christine Stump was torn between dismay and delight when her father told her that they'd be moving to the large Wentz house. On the one hand, it meant that her parents were really through. There was no hope of getting them back together, ever. On the other hand, it meant that her dad's smiles would be constant now, since he always smiled around Pete.

And if she had another hand, it meant that she would get to run the Wentz house.

Once Upon a 747
By miserylovedme || NC-17 || 2,152 words

Pete is staring down at his own hands before grasping one of Patrick’s with a quick look around the first class cabin and standing.

Patrick pulls him back down, “You are not fucking me on this plane!” he hisses.

“Why not?”

In Somnia
By matchsticks_p || PG-13

Summary: The less Pete sleeps, the more Patrick does. And then things start going to hell.

Pete was having one of those weeks.

He had been doing just fine with the new sleep medication, and then it just suddenly…stopped. Nothing had changed, but his pills just stopped working one Monday, with no warning. He found himself staring at the top of his bunk for increasingly long stretches at night, and the skin beneath his eyes began to get darker and darker. By Friday, he was looking once again like pre-regulated-sleep-drugs-and-therapy Pete. It was not a good look for him.

sleeping lessons
By slipsandtangles || g || 480 words

"You fell asleep," Patrick says quietly.

Pete blinks a few times in an attempt to wake himself up and Patrick smiles. He feels the bus drag into a slow stop and looks out the window, squinting a little.

By pushkin666 || PG-13 || 100 words || (mpreg)

Patrick isn't quite human. He chooses Pete as his mate and the 'mother' to his child.

By jaded_hopeless || g

Summary: Patrick is standing outside his bedroom door waiting for Pete to kiss him.

Patrick is waiting for Pete to kiss him. He tells himself this over and over again as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. He's standing in the hallway outside his own bedroom door where Pete is waiting for him to come back.

Pete The Dragon Slayer (dead link)
NC-17 || 2,068 words

Summary: Set while they're recording From Under The Cork Tree but there's nothing to really indicate that in the story itself.

The third time Patrick started bitching loudly, and some might even call it shouting, about the way recording was going Pete had finally had enough. He loved that kid, he did. But fucking hell there were limits. Joe had spent so much time hotboxing in his car that he smelled like a walking pot factory and Andy looked about ready to throw his entire kit at Patrick's head. Clearly something had to be done. And since Pete was the one who had, inadvertently damn it, made the monster it was up to him to slay it. Metaphorically, of course.

the songs and the words
By addictedkitten and eleanor_lavish

Pete made the fatal mistake of saying, "Sure, sing Love Will Tear Us Apart, that's a great song," and then Patrick, well, sang it, and Pete felt Patrick's voice go straight down through his spine and settle below the waist of his jeans. Patrick sang, and Pete listened, and got possibly the most inconvenient hard-on of his entire life up to that point.

By jenish

A giggle. Joe sounded stoned. Pete sounded drunk. Patrick decided that his stomach had not just dropped entirely out of his body. That he couldn’t see what he had just caught a glimpse of. That Pete definitely had a shirt on, no, really, there was a very deceptive trick of the light and Pete was most decidedly not kissing Joe right this second.

Patrick turned over and shut his eyes.

Adventurers by Fate
By giddygeek || ~800 words

"They left without us," Patrick says. Pete looks around, like he's surprised to see that while Patrick was sleeping, their camp cleared of almost all the tents and most of the people they'd brought with them; they're down to a translator and maybe two security guards.

"Well," Pete says, looking back at him and yawning ostentatiously, unconcerned, "think of this as a new adventure, Patrick. Lost in Africa! It'll be awesome for Behind the Music."

11 Reasons Why Patrick and Pete Moved in Together
By marrymemerry || PG-13 || (in the My Hat Has Three Corners 'verse)

Summary: Pete attempts to convince Patrick to move in together.

Three nights later, reason number six is Pete's insistence that since he's the guest at Patrick's home, he doesn't need to help with dinner or its cleanup, do the dishes, or be of any sort of assistance whatsoever. It's bullshit, and they both know it, so when Pete smugly tells Patrick that if they lived together, this wouldn't happen, Patrick actually kicks Pete out of his apartment.

Which is reason number seven, though Patrick doesn't particularly see a downside to being able to kick Pete out of his apartment.

Hey Baby, Gimme Some Tail
By megyal || NC-17

"Right," said Pete, tugging at the extra appendage curling disdainfully out of the back of Patrick's khaki pants. "This. Is. A. Tail."

"Fuck off," snapped Patrick, the tail pulling strongly out of his grasp and swishing indignantly around Pete's face. "And, for the record? It fucking hurts when you pull it like that."

Son of a Scoundrel, Heart of Gold
By eleanor_lavish || NC-17R || ~8,500 words || (for the DYW Romance Novel Cliche Challenge)

Summary: It's 1880's London, and Patrick is on a hunt for the truth. Will he find more than he bargained for?

“He’s mine,” Gabriel said harshly and her head shot up in amazement.

“Oh, my. I didn’t. We never got word that you had married.” It was more than she’d hoped for, but perhaps…

“I didn’t,” he said matter-of-factly, his eyes almost gleaming like he was happy to shock her, to make her go pale. “His mother was a girl I knew. She died this winter and I didn’t even know he existed until last month when her lawyers tracked me down. I can’t keep him. It’s… there isn’t a place for him in London.”

Titanomachy  (dead link)
By miserylovedme || NC-17 || 3,402 words

People scream and start running and Patrick would probably have run too, but the crack in the ground widens so fast and cars are going under, in and Patrick can see blackness and fire. He has just enough time to think, Fire? before a hand grabs his ankle and he’s swallowed up by the ground.

Hard to Do
By kosher_pareve || PG-13

Summary: Reason #2: It’s very inconsiderate of us to have sex in the bunk right across from Andy and right under Joe, even if they pretend not to mind.

For his fifth and final try, two and a half weeks later, Patrick makes a list containing exactly two hundred and seventy-three good reasons why he and Peter should break up.

Doritos and Dildos
By impertinence || Adult

Summary: Aliens made them do it - sort of.

Pete was positive he wasn't sucking Patrick's cock when the aliens came.

He was thinking about it, of course, because he was always thinking about it. But the only thing in his mouth was a Dorito. Since he landed on the spaceship with Patrick's dick in his mouth, he pretty much figured they could read his mind.

That or they thought cocks and Doritos were the same. But that was a little too far-fetched, even considering that they were on an alien vessel.

How To Survive Winter In Chicago
By ratherblank || PG

Summary: Pete and Patrick, winter, fingerless gloves, hot chocolate. Lots of fluff.

“If you have frostbite, I am going to be so fucking pissed at you.”

Pete hops over the back of the couch and snuggles up next to Patrick. “Aww, that’s sweet,” he says, grinning. Patrick tries to ignore him, but Pete is used to dealing with people trying to ignore him and he knows exactly what to do. “Fine,” he says. “I’ll just go home then.”

“Mmm,” Patrick says absently.

I Just Love Your
By proteinscollide

Summary: Pete's a hooker. And a zombie.

Patrick mumbles, “This is the first time I’ve been laid in a year. People are just more into beauty than brains, you know.” He casts a look over Pete, shakes his head and says, “What would you know.”

“I like brains,” Pete says wistfully. He plants a sweet kiss on Patrick’s mouth, chaste, ending with a little bite of Patrick’s top lip. “I like you.”

By tobyzantium || PG-13 || 1000 words

He follows a seam and holds his breath. Patrick's jeans meet his hips and Pete tilts his palm, ghosting over the no man's land (ha) of skin between the hem and the waistband. Patrick's temperature runs one degree hot, and Pete knows it -- he doesn't get burned as he tarries, delays, until the inevitable, the rasp of a pocket, the pressured upswell of Patrick's wallet.

"What the fuck?" Patrick rumbles.

"You're awake." Pete appreciates declarative statements. You're freaked. I'm fucked.

Keep It Natural
By britt_the_nerd || PG-13 || 1,717 words

Prompt: fake dating/pretending to be gay

"Yeah well, you know how it is. Anyway, this is my boyfriend Patrick."

"Boyfriend?" Patrick asks, eyes wide. Pete squeezes his hand a little tighter, and Patrick clears his throat. "Right, his boyfriend. It's nice to meet you..."

A Year and A Day
By megyal || PG || ~4, 900 words

"Really?" Pete would whisper, almost trembling in excitement. "They can't hide their tails?"

"Oh, no. Sometimes they look like you or me," and here her face would darken for a moment, before she shook herself and continued. "They look just like a normal person! But be careful, Pete, so so careful. A wolf is always a wolf, no matter how sweet their words."

Pete would always nod, because he was a good boy; but in the back of his mind, he thought it was all very exciting.

Makeup stains my pillowcase
By scribblinlenore || NC-17 || ~5,000 words

Summary: After Pete and Patrick tape this, Pete gets ideas. These ideas involve wearing a skirt.

Patrick has been on the receiving end of these little games of Pete's since…well, pretty much ever. So you'd think he'd have figured it all out by now, but the rules are as quicksilvery as Pete himself. Any moment now Pete could scramble up from his lap and let out one of those braying laughs of his. Dude, I knew it! You so want to hit this. And then disappear back upstairs. Game over.

By scribblinlenore || NC-17 || 758 words

Summary: Porn stars!

Adult entertainment star Pete Wentz is known for three things:

1. He's the tiniest, most emo top in the business.

2. He'll do absolutely anything on film. Except kiss.

3. He's sometimes a little too good at getting his co-stars off.

Super Patrick
By scribblinlenore || NC-17 || 1,130 words

Summary: Patrick is super! Pete is a necessary distraction!

"They just laid their guns down," Veronica says, her eyes wide with amazement. "And held up their hands, and somebody called the cops, and then we all started looking around for the singing guy--"

"But he was gone. Just like that. Didn't even give us a chance to thank him."

"You know who he looked like?" Veronica looks to Tina.

Tina shakes her head. "Don't say it."

A Boy Called Pete
By bluejbird || PG || and Brendon/Spencer || (Paddington Bear AU)

Joe and Andy first met Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz the Third on a railway platform. It had nothing whatsoever to do with how he came to have such an unusual name, for Chicago Union was a good name for a station, but not for a boy. Andy had argued that it would be unique, going against society’s norms, but Joe had pointed out that Pete had already introduced himself to them, and that changing his name was only going to end in confusion.

neither rhyme nor reason
By exorcise || PG-13 || 3,800+ words

Summary: The ridiculously self indulgent one where Patrick gets a puppy, Joe is infinitely wise (Joeisms!), and Pete is Pete. Beware of (l)UST.

He guesses it's irony or something when Joe slams the van door, puts the windshield wipers on, and christens the stray as Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz IV. Maybe just coincidence, Patrick's never been good with that sort of thing.

("Why Pete?"

"I don't know, your crush, your problem."

"No, dumbass. Why is the dog Pete?"

"He needs us.")

Mrs. Clean
By megyal || NC-17 || ~900 words

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You got me pregnant from all the sex," Pete deadpanned. "And now I'm nesting, man."

"Oh my god," Patrick replied in the same tone. "How do I know the baby is mine?"

Pete wrinkled his nose and sniffed disdainfully at Patrick. "All I'm saying, is that the house here needs a super good clean."

If There Is a God, I Thank Him Every Day for Bringing Us Patrick
By schuyler || R

Frank smacked a kiss against the side of his head. "You love me."

"No, I don't. You smell like ass, Iero. Get off me." Frank pouted at him and Patrick just ignored him. If it was anyone else, they would have gotten punched in the mouth, but it was Frank, and Patrick loved his band, even when they were being douchebags.

Let's Make A Deal
By bestthingaround || NC-17 || 2,484

“It’s perfect. You should…damn. You need to wear it more.”

“This is only by request; this is a one time thing Pete.”

“Then come here and let me see you up close, since I’ll never see this again.”

Patrick walked up to Pete on the bed. Pete, who was tied down to the bed. “I can’t believe this is part of your deal too.”

Put Down Your Weapons
By chaosmanor || Adult

Not even Patrick really noticed when he stopped talking completely. Between the noise--fuck, the noise--and being on the road, and working on the Cobra Starship album, he spent a lot of the time with white noise-generating headphones jammed over his ears anyway, sometimes with absolutely nothing playing through them.

Calms Jittery Nerves
By sharon_hate || NC-17 || (Pete/Patrick implied)

Summary: Could this be considered child pornography, Patrick doesn't once ask himself. (Pete gets Patrick a vibrator for Christmas and a sex tape/thank you present ensues.)

He blanches at the feel of it in his hand; all soft latex rubber on the outside, but weighed from the motor. The fact that it's shaped like a cock makes Patrick want to die. He's almost surprised there's not an inscription on it (Dear Patrick, have fun!), something to make it even more humiliating for him. It's a bright violet, though, so there is that.

Possibly I Like The Thrill
By likeasugarcube || NC-17 || 1,300 words || (sequel to Calms Jittery Nerves)

Summary: Pete watches the tape

He presses play, and sits down on the edge of his bed. Patrick's on his television screen once again, shirtless and awkward.

Pete probably shouldn't be so turned on by how obviously nervous Patrick is about this.

Then again, maybe he's not so nervous after all, because a moment later Patrick is pulling down his jeans. By the time Patrick's completely naked, Pete is already hard. He watches intently, eyes wide, as Patrick starts jerking himself off. Pete feels a bit like a creep but can't help rubbing himself through his jeans. He has to remind himself that Patrick wanted him to see this, although he still hasn't decided if that makes it better or worse.

It's Just A Stupid Crush
By therentmatrix || PG-13 || 2,600~ words || (genderswap)

They’re in close quarters all the time, and Trish gets awkward every time Pete wanders around the apartment in his underwear (which happens on an almost daily basis; Pete has nudist tendencies).

So of course she does the most logical thing and decides to stop having a crush on him.

(Basically, this means Trish doesn't tolerate Pete's kisses and hair-ruffles, his teasing and prodding. It means she fights back and treats him like every other boy she’s had to deal with, and Pete is baffled.)

Patrick's Bringing the SexyBack
By megyal || R/NC-17

Peter has a fetish. It is all-consuming, taking up his time. His mind. It makes his hands tremble, and his eyes swim, and outwardly, he blames it on writing too many crappy lyrics under the feeble light of his bunk.

He supposes it can't technically be called a fetish. If it was a fetish, he would have been aroused by this on anyone. As it is, there is only one person who has this effect. This overwhelming enthrallment.

People Say A Lot Of Things They Don't Mean
By scribblinlenore || NC-17 || ~23,000 words || with Michael Westen/Pete Wentz || (Burn Notice/Fall Out Boy crossover)

Summary: Patrick gets kidnapped, and Pete stumbles on just the person to help get him back. Michael isn't sure how he got so lucky.

He peers out the peephole, and standing there is a dark, skinny mess of a soon-to-be-dead man, covered in tattoos, wearing yesterday's makeup. Apparently, it's not early for him, so much as very, very late. Michael considers the possibilities, black ops maneuvers for hiding bodies that involve duct tape, cuticle scissors and a bag of quick lime. The banging gets even louder, the soon-to-be dead man really putting his back into it, and Michael flings open the door. Pistol-whipping in broad daylight, he figures, will work just as well as stealth.

The soon-to-be dead man blinks at him, all big, dark eyes of doom and quivering lip.

"I lost Patrick," he says mournfully.

You're just the boy all the boys want to dance with (And I'm just the boy who's had too many chances)
By jen_jm || R || about 3,000 words || minor/mentioned Gabe/Patrick, Spencer/Ryan and Jon/Tom Conrad

“I’m dating Patrick Stump.”

Everyone looks up when Gabe walks in and repeats that yeah, he’s totally dating Patrick.

“What the fuck, dude?” Andy frowns, deeply, ‘cause really. What the fuck. “Cut it off with the drugs.”

Risky Business
By ladyrogueevie || NC-17

Summary: Recording studio AU. Pete owns Decaydance, Patrick is his Head Producer, and Gabe is a diva. Basically.

It's been four months since they started recording their album, and so far there have been four fist fights, three screaming matches and forty-eight threats of disbanding. Gabe tends to dish the last out whenever he feels not enough attention is being paid to him, which accounts for the alarmingly high rate of threats.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3: anon!fic | part 3: comment!fic | part 4: bbb | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | beam me up, scotty

part three: anon!fic

Prompt: Patrick gets turned into a girl and Pete really wants to eat him out.

It's not unheard of. It's almost a rite of passage, to be honest: Panic had scrapped the songs from the cabin because none of it sounded right after Brendon's voice dropped back to normal and the Academy had had to cancel two shows because they'd briefly turned into a girl group. My Chem were so used to it that they just stuck Cortez on stage and told people that Frank was having another relapse of the plague.

Prompt: Self conscious

Patrick had thought, when he first started getting chubby, well, there goes any chance I might've had with Pete. Not because Pete was vain or something - Pete was the least superficial person Patrick had ever met - but because he just couldn't imagine any situation where he'd be comfortable enough to feel comfortable naked. In front of Pete. With Pete. Being naked.

Prompt: Patrick; Coming out

"You know what I'd really like to do to Brendon?"

There are about a dozen ways Pete can imagine Patrick answering his own question: punch him in the face, shoot him in the neck with a tranquilizer dart, explain to him that that sometimes he just can't reach those high notes.

Prompt: young!Patrick is confused about his sexuality.

Pete ~fixes this problem.

But honestly, Patrick Stump is a lover of chicks. Their smallish hands and painted toenails and how some of them smell like berries, sometimes, pressed up close to him at shows. Berries and vanilla.

And it's awesome.

It's just that sometimes, like, dudes are like that too.


I'm totally not giving you a preview of this one. \o/

Prompt: Young!Patrick during van days

Because Andy isn't hearing them.

It's really unfair, actually.

From the back, way way in the back of the van, Joe hears Pete say, "We're going to wake them up," and he laughs, muffled.

And Patrick says, nervously, "Okay, okay. I'm being quiet. I just."

Prompt: Patrick's still in High School and Pete comes into to "visit" him.

Being stalked by the dude from Arma isn't as bad as Patrick would have thought it would be, if he ever bothered to imagine such a thing. Which he totally didn't.

Prompt: Patrick gets a new tutor and wants to learn things that provide no academic value.

The trouble was, Pete wasn't old, but he was older than Patrick. He was out of high school, living on his own, and damned if that didn't make Patrick want him even more. He had *tattoos*, which Patrick had never really thought of as sexy before, but on Pete's skin, they were. Everything Pete had or did had a nasty habit of being sexy to Patrick--even his stupid laugh and his unrestrained douchiness. Patrick knew he had it bad, embarrassingly bad, but he didn't care. He just *wanted*.

Prompt: designers in a Project Runway.

Patrick looks weary. He has pretty much nothing on the mannequin yet. "I hate feathers."

Tim pushes his glasses up to his nose. "And I regret to say this, but it shows."


"Just, make it work."

Prompt: Pete gets a new lovebot after his old one crashes.

There was nothing good on the website; they'd discontinued the range that his old one was from, due to 'undisclosed problems'. Pete figured that was something to do with the way his had broken down. Still, this was a problem in itself. He couldn't afford any of the newer models, and the old ones weren't for sale anymore. Sighing, he continued checking eBay. Craigslist. The usual.

Prompt: somnophilia

Pete knew that Patrick had slept through near crashes, a fistfight with Joe practically on top of him, and every alarm man had created, but he still shuddered when he brushed the leaking head of his dick against the slack corner of Patrick's mouth. He didn't even twitch, and Pete's arm went weak, streaking a line of precome down to Patrick's chin.

Prompt: What if Patrick gotten bitten by William instead of Pete?

They find him three days after they lose him, in an alley six miles from the warehouse they've made 'home.' His glasses are broken and he's pale and so cold, and Pete's already laying against his chest, somewhere between crying and begging God and the street lights for a heart beat, when Andy sees the bite marks and puts two and two together.

Prompt: what if Pete Wentz wrote for bandom?

They'll catch us in a photograph
Snap snap snap
My heart will crush the electricity in your pants
Could I look out into the crowd and andthink "you saved my life"

posted by xo at 9:50 PM

Falling Sass Backwards

Prompt: Patrick!Dr. Benzedrine/Pete!Mr. Sandman AU

With his storm-cloud black lips, manic grin, and air of promiscuity, the well respected Mr. Benzedrine did his best to avoid the not-so-much-respected man, Mr. Sandman. Maybe he wasn’t so much a man as much a lure for people to trek across to the merry-go-round, and end up turning into a caricature of themselves, which is obvious and quite easy to forget when Mr. Sandman was grinning at you, of course.

Prompt: Angel!Patrick/Devil!Pete

Yeah, okay, Heaven and Hell, they don't really get along too great. But there was certainly never a war. Patrick still talks to Lucifer, he's not a bad guy. He likes Japanese game shows. Listens to a lot of The Doors. Annoying yes, but certainly not evil.

If anything, it's more a West Side Story kind of hate. Sometimes they have dance-offs.

Okay, not really. And maybe there was a real hatred at one point between Heaven and Hell. But, you know, after an almost eternity of being enemies, you eventually go back to friends. Or something close to it.

Prompt: comparing God to love

When he says it, on the internet, over the phone, to the skin of Patrick's neck on stage, warmed from Pete's breathing, from the hot hot lights, he laughs.

Because shut up, Pete, you're such an idiot.

But when Pete's sitting across from him, fingers twisted into the sleeves of his hoodie, eyes open and clear and staring right into Patrick's -

Prompt: sexpollen (Patrick being the one to get drugged.)

patrick starts sweating and shaking, and that's when pete hears the knocking at the door. he doesn't open it, instead, yells, "fuck the fuck off, gabriel!"

from the other side, gabe sighs, but doesn't knock again.

and patrick looks at pete, his eyes wide with fear but darkdarkdark, hungry, and says, brokenly, "pete?"

and pete says, "we're going to have to lock you in the bathroom like a werewolf and wait until the effects wear off. i'm sorry patrick, you've been contaminated."

Prompt: Fetish Model!Patrick/Photographer!Pete

Pete finds his new models like everyone finds new models in these circles: Through friends, word of mouth, private commissions and of course going through a shitload of amateur pictures send in or published in more dingy fetish publications.

Patrick, though, Patrick goes to him.

Prompt: Patrick is the newest foster child to the Wentz household.

He shares a room with their eldest son Pete and over time they develop a sexual relationship.

The only thing that they know is that as they are an emergency relocation home, all the kids have been whisked away from the middle of a some kind of traumatic situation.

"Okay, Pete." His mom sounds now falsely calm, like there might be other people in the same room. Or maybe its for Pete's sake. "What did you do, Pete?"

"Tell me why he came, mom!" Because fucking shit, he has to know if he is just a douche or should he just stab himself in the eye right now for breaking the kid for good.

Prompt: Always been a Girl!Pete/Patrick, pregnancy scare

"What's wrong?" He speaks in a hushed silence, similar to the one he imagines would be at a church, the one in a library. "It'll be okay, whatever it is--"

She throws something at him, a stick. It lands on the floor, making a clattering noise that sounds out of place in the silence. He doesn't let go of her ankle with one hand, picking the stick up with his other and turning it over.

There are two blue lines.

pre-Pete/Patrick, Pokemon AU

Patrick Stump is having a pretty good night. He's just competed in - and won - his first gym battle, and right now he's sitting in front of a nice warm fire at his campsite, mindlessly strumming a song on his acoustic guitar. Eevee is curled up contentedly against his side, almost asleep, and Patrick's thinking life is pretty sweet right now.

Then someone comes crashing through the trees and trips over Patrick, stepping on Eevee's tail and managing to launch Patrick's guitar into the air. "Oh, fuck -" Patrick says, watching helplessly as his guitar flies straight onto the campfire.

Prompt: Pete/(bb)Patrick. Pete's fucking around in the van due to boredom and (he promises it's an accident) somehow he and a very grumpy Patrick are handcuffed to each other.

Patrick was sleeping okay, and Pete, well Pete had very little self-control. He just wanted some attention, and ’Trick hadn’t given him nearly enough hugs that day. Plus (and he was not spying) he totally saw his extra-special-BFF being all buddy-buddy with way too many pretty scene boys. Pete was the only pretty scene boy Patrick should ever need, so y’know, it was practically duty.

Pete was just trying to save Patrick from himself.

So, he dug up his pair of (fuzzy, orange) handcuffs and stealthily slipped one end around his wrist and the other clicking softly into place over Patrick’s.

Prompt: Patrick gets homesick and Pete finds ways to make him feel better.

When Patrick opened his eyes, there was a shitty printout picture taped to the underside of the top bunk, right in front of his eyes. It was of his family. His mom's hand curled tight and protective over his fourteen-year-old shoulder.

Pete was crouched next to his bed, staring. "Brings back memories, huh? Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy?"

"What." Patrick pinched the bridge of his nose. He'd left his glasses on. He had a headache.


Prompt: Either Pete's parents or friends order Pete a Mail order bride to take care of him (in very sexy and slutty ways).

At first, Pete didn't even notice him. He was the third 'caregiver' that his parents had tried, and Pete did at least notice that he was an improvement over the last two. Elaine had been a nice lady, but she couldn't handle it when Pete was too depressed to put on clothes before he went to the bathroom. Margaret should have retired years ago, he didn't know what his parents were thinking she would be able to do for Pete at her age.

all the songs that the night shouts

Prompt: Senses Fail's "Can't Be Saved" video

Patrick turns around on the top stair and looks down at Pete. He hitches his backpack further up on his shoulder and adjusts the knit cap he's wearing. "Um, yes."

"Right. I'm Pete," Pete says, cause again, with the smooth. "Wentz," he adds after a beat, and he's not totally sure why.

Patrick sort of lets loose a half-breath, half-laugh. "Yeah, I know," he says. "We're in like, three periods together."

America's Suitehearts AU

Prompt: Mr. Sandman kidnaps Dr. Benzadrine and just ravishes him.

"nothing today," doctor benzedrine says, one hand tipping his hat, the other patting at his lavender overcoat. "quite a run, you know, this time of year. i can't make anything fast enough."

"not the vials i had in mind, old friend," sandman says, his mouth stretching-pulling across his face, big gnarled teeth shining in the sun.


Request: the real reason Patrick nearly left Fall Out Boy

There are fifty three minutes left to check into their flight.

Patrick gets up, walks away. He touches Andy’s arm as he passes. Andy’s skin is warm and the colors overlaid on his skin make Patrick’s fingers tingle. He looks up and Patrick smiles. Andy smiles back, owlish through his glasses.

He doesn't check onto that flight. The plane takes off without him, with his bandmates on it.


Officer, we've got a case of P on P crime.
Looks like you've been fooled twice, Little J.
Shame on you.

xoxo, gossip girl

Trade Baby Blues for Button Browns

Prompt: Coraline AU

“Hey, stalker,” Patrick calls out as he hears a dirt bike rapidly approaching. “Aren’t you a bit old to be playing with dolls?”

Pete’s bike screeches to a halt, and Hemmingway runs up to his side, panting heavily. A skeleton-gloved hand reaches up and pulls at the zip on his hoodie. The face-obscuring hood falls down, Pete’s face replacing the printed gas mask that had been there seconds before. He looks down at the doll in Patrick’s hand and his cheeks colour slightly.

“I just thought it really looks like you, and you know, since it looks like you, you might want it, and…”

pms + plkw smmr of lve

Prompt: Pete makes a list of naughty things to do to Patrick everyday of the summer. Somehow Patrick finds it and begins to act like a major cock tease.

Patrick wasn't a very nosy person. He really didn't care what his friends did in their spare time, or what thoughts they had going through their minds at any given time. Unless, of course, they involved him. Then it became sort of necessary to know. You know? Patrick knew.

Every Penny

Prompt: Patrick sign's up for a bachelor auction for charity and gets bought by Pete.

"How the hell did Pete convince me to do this?"

"He said, 'Hey, Rick, you should do this charity auction thing,' and you said yes, because you pretty much never say no to him."

"Fuck you."

Prompt: Patrick as a male candy striper and a hospitalized Pete gets really attached and makes lewd jokes

He sighed and attached his nametag (listing him as 'Patrick Stump-VOLUNTEER', just in case there were any 16 year old doctors he could be mistaken for), before taking a deep breath and leaving the changing room. He wished he was at the retirement home. He really doubted he'd have managed to get a guy-crush on an octogenarian.

"Hi there, state-approved eye-candy," Pete called out, as Patrick walked through the door. Patrick blushed, to Pete's evident delight, and busied himself with the details of Pete's chart.

Also Into Hats

Prompt: patrick wears specific hats to go with his moods and pete knows every single one of them... including the one that means he's horny

The grey flat cap, that one means that Patrick is actually feeling confident. It's been coming out more and more lately, which is nice. At first, Pete thought it was the one he was looking for, because for Pete, feeling confident is the first step.

twelve steps to your heart

Prompt: Patrick has to go to Pete-sexuals Anonymous meetings and half the label is there, along with like 40% of the road crew and Pete's personal friends. The room's packed.

This has to be a secret five-month early surprise birthday party or something. There’s no fucking way that everyone in this room came to a meeting because they’re addicted to Pete Wentz.

He also sort of feels bad now about thinking that they had STDs.

i can work a stickshift like nobody's business

Prompt: bb!Patrick giving Pete head while he is driving.

They've been unceremoniously kicked out of the place they were supposed to crash, and Pete's been driving for two hours, trying to get them back to Wilmette in roughly one piece. Joe and Andy are slumped asleep on each other in the back of the van. Patrick is in the front seat, and Patrick's hand is slowly inching up Pete's thigh.

"I'm trying not to kill us," Pete murmurs, moving one hand off the wheel to still Patrick's touch, "but you're making it kinda hard."

Straight Down

Prompt: Under-the-influence Pete/Patrick dubcon.

"'Trick..." Pete slurred, drool starting to leak from the corner of his mouth. He'd overdone it this time, half a bottle of Patron by himself. Patrick definitely wasn't as drunk; he'd had a few more than usual, but he wasn't nearly as much of a lightweight as he looked. In any case, he knew that this was an opportunity that he should've overlooked, but was taking anyway.

The Seduction of the Hat

Prompt: Patrick has the useless superpower to seduce hats. Pete catches Patrick in the act. Hilarity ensues.

He had amassed nearly a dozen hats before he realized that something was going on and that maybe he really shouldn't keep going out and looking at hats. Of course, that was around the same time that he was just figuring out that wearing the wrong hat resulted in a bad day, so he didn't really think he could be blamed for being slow on the uptake.

Prompt: Chobits AU

“Do you-- understand me? What I’m saying? Can you hear me?”

Slowly, the boy nodded.

“Do you, like, have a name?”

The boy opened his mouth, and then shuddered, a truncated version of Krista’s seizure. “PRRTRRCCCKK,” it said, and was still again.

Remember That
rated G

Prompt: Domestic AU

Patrick snorted a little, "I still can't get over that."

"It's not funny," Pete retorted, scooping her out of the crib. "At least she doesn't call me 'Da Peetick.'"

"It is funny. She calls you Pee."

i kiss them whenever i'm down

Prompt: The end of shy, insecure Patrick. The beginning of confident, sex-god Patrick (now with new and improved sexy voice!)

And the kid, Patrick, he was a nice drummer. But very quiet and the type Pete remembers from middle school, the kid that would try and jog the mile but not ever getting half his effort back.

And he took everything way too seriously.

It was so hard not to crumble his Top-Dog of the Chicago Hardcore Scene façade and laugh at him. Not for the argyle sweater. Or the glasses or the thinning hair or even the long socks. Just how scared he seemed to be of screwing up.

Make Out Kings

Prompt: The one where Decaydance get back at Pete whenever he annoys them by making out with Patrick. Patrick is long-suffering. Pete goes batshit insane.

By the next few days, Patrick has been kissed by nearly half of the decaydance family. Brendon made good on his preemptive apology to Patrick and had kissed the older boy, for what, Pete doesn't even know because he hadn't even been talking to Brendon at the time. He's half suspecting that Brendon did it purely because he could.

I'm In Love With My Own Sins

Prompt: Dr Benzadrine/Sandman. Love potions

Not many people from Normal Land come to Hollywood at night. The dented, twisted elevator usually has slowed by then. Once and awhile, someone might be watching television a little too late at night, and getting a little invested, hot under the collar, but that was considered a rarity.

But all the best things happen at night.

News from Nowhere

Prompt: Pete and Bob are mechanics. One day Patrick brings in his car to get fixed.

On closer inspection his car wasn’t as bad as it first looked. With Bob’s help and a quick deliverer of the needed replacement parts they could probably have it fixed within the week. He told this to Patrick himself. Patrick sighed and closed his eyes tight.

“I have to be in New York by the 24th.”


Pete scratched the back of his neck apologetically.

Patrick sighed again.

I can't believe I just did this.

Prompt: patrick stops pete and ashlees wedding by professing his love for pete.

He blurts, “Wait,” and all goes still.

Hundreds of faces turn towards him as one, startled and slack-jawed, some flushed in outrage. Elderly ladies clutch the pews with trembling hands, wipe wrinkled brows with their handkerchiefs. The gelled and combed heads of little boys pop up unashamedly above their parents’ shoulders, trying to catch a glimpse. If there were things he’d planned to say, they’ve fled his mind entirely.

How It Didn't Really Happen

Prompt: One of FOB never made it into the band (Joe never met Patrick, they chose a different drummer, etc) and they never made it big. Essentially Office!AU

There was a bus that was five minutes late; a fast watch; a flat tire; and a really cute waitress. The youngest one, always cast as the hopeless schlub, got to the bookstore all right, but not before the one with the funny hair discovered he was gonna be late, crap, and left before the hopeless one arrived; the close-enough guy spent way too long flirting with the waitress; and the vegan had to walk two miles carrying a stupid flat tire in the rain.

So none of them met at the time and place that legend gives as The Point Where It All Began.

Prompt: Pete signs up for a program at his college to help high school students who come from troubled home or who have been bullied/dealt with any abuse.

It’s just… when he gets a chord progression right, he darts a little glance over at Pete, pulls such a small smile it’s nearly subliminal. And Pete feels this clenching in his chest, is overcome with the urge to spout off endlessly on music theory, his weekend plans – anything to distract him from the way Patrick’s honey-red hair catches the light.

Patrick, the kid’s name is Patrick.

And he’s in high school.

And he’s trusting his responsible college-aged mentor to teach him bass and not have thoughts about his hair in the fluorescent lighting

Drumroll, Please

Prompt: Pete finds some video where Patrick is playing with himself and jerks off to it

There's not much to snoop in, really. Family pics. Unfinished songs. A zillion gigs worth of iTunes. But Pete's determined, he knows there's porn in there somewhere. Everyone has some porn, not even perfect angelic Patrick is immune to it. Where's the little bastard hiding it? C'mon, a topless pic, a muff shot, just something. Hell, he might just pass out if he finds anything on here that's not quite hetero.

Prompt: Pete does something drastic to keep Patrick close

Pete slipped into bed behind him. “Hey. Hey, Patrick. Look at me.” Patrick sighed and turned over, looking into Pete’s earnest eyes. “I had to do it. You know that, right?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Patrick said. “I would have helped you anyway.”

“I know,” Pete said. His smile was bright enough to blind. “I know that now, Patrick. You’re my best friend. My best friend.”


Prompt: Patrick wants Pete to come back to Chicago

Pete couldn't stop the word from coming out of his mouth even though he knew it would be the worst thing to say; it was also the most perfect response he could have come up with if he'd had six hours to think of one. He'd had six seconds, and here it was. Maybe it was fate.


Patrick didn't respond. Pete snuck a peek at him while pretending to read an article about buses, or something. His face was expressionless, as if with that one word Pete had found his 'off' switch.

"Come to Chicago," Patrick said, as if he simply hadn't heard Pete's perfect response.

Fleeting Human Contact

Prompt: Patrick hates his high school, and then one day someone starts vandalizing the bathroom stalls.

It continues like this for almost three weeks, until Patrick walks in and finds a full-color mural painted all over the walls, bright bursts of color detailing a sunrise and a sunset, a smudge of a girl in a white dress, a dog and a cat and some birds, a thunderstorm and long grass and a massive oak tree, and then, on the toilet paper,

i took an ugly thing and made it beautiful
won’t you do the same to me?

Come Alive

Prompt: Pete's desire for Patrick is becoming a little overwhelming.

He stepped barefoot onto his stoop, opening the blanket that was wrapped around him and throwing himself at Pete, who held Patrick tight against him. Pete buried his nose in his hair, reveling in his newly-heightened sense of smell, and positively swimming in the sweet apple scent of his shampoo. He could feel Patrick’s body shaking with silent cries, and every heart beat beneath Patrick’s skin; could hear Patrick’s muffled voice saying they’d found his car and he was nowhere, how the police had seen the huge puddle of blood in the grass, and how worried they’d been that he’d wandered off in the woods to die somewhere and never be found again. He pressed his mouth to Patrick’s cheeks and lips, softly and quickly, trying to drink him in. And his skin; even his skin tasted different now. It was peppermint mocha against his mouth, salty tears and spring flowers, cherry-flavored Chapstick to soothe his windburned lips and his, his, his, all his.

What they see in the mirror of Erised

Prompt: Bandom do Hogwarts.

Patrick's hats on a rack with a scarf of Pete's, as well as few child-size ones. Two sets of keys on the small table next to it, both sets with keys to each others' cars.


Prompt: Patrick develops an eating disorder in effort to please Pete.

Patrick can count the girls he’s kissed on one hand. Pete closes those fingers in his, and leans in again. Their lips touch, feather-light and somewhere in Pete’s head, there’s a stupid rush of static. Radio waves. Patrick is soft, and Pete’s mouth has to twist away. There’s no push and pull. Patrick is pale, and his hands curl into fists, pulse going haywire. Cotton comes apart, and a breath gets misplaced. Pete’s hands trail down, and then his throat closes.

The last thing they ate, Pete can’t remember, but he feels kind of sick.

Patrick’s shirt is unbuttoned at the top, and neither of them understand why that seems so compromising.

Best Baby-Food-Feeder

Prompt: Pete and Patrick finally decided to settle down and adopt. Anyway, it's baby's first time with more-or-less solid food.

Pete scooped up a disgustingly huge spoonful of the carrots, making a face at it. “It looks disgusting and smells like as – like butt, Rickster,” he said. “Are we really going to be feeding our precious baby boy this sh – stuff?” Pete continued to make faces and Patrick chuckled into his pizza.

“Yeah, we are. It’s good for him, with like, vitamins and stuff. Doctor’s orders.” Patrick leaned across the table to get a better look at the pureed mess, wincing at it. It really did smell pretty gross. “Good thing he’s too little to remember it, right?”

lost control and tumbled overboard gladly

Prompt: fucking on a piano

The fact of the matter was, “Heart and Soul” was the only song they both knew on the piano—and Pete, being Pete, wanting to show off what he called his mad pianist skills, he’d insisted, and Patrick indulged him. What Patrick hadn’t expected was for Pete to kiss him as he was singing the last line. He’d kissed back, sure, but that wasn’t the biggest problem

nothing you can touch

Prompt: The baby doesn't make it.

“Come on. We should make sure our daughter’s the only one in kindergarten with her name. There’ll be, like, five other little Elizabeths. I’m still rooting for Miranda.”

“I feel profoundly ‘whatever’ about Miranda,” Patrick says, flipping through the name book. The two of them are sitting on their living room floor, looking through name books and highlighting the ones they both agreed on. They just found out that day they would be having a girl in December. Pete called it the best Christmas present Patrick would ever give him.

Beating Hearts (or Hearts Beating)
(high school au)

Prompt: Pete gets bullied a bit for being not-so-straight and takes out his anger/whatever by bullying nerdy!Patrick who is your typical straight A kid who's in band with no social life or friends

“Out of the way, band geek.”

The voice spoke sharply to Patrick Stump before he felt a rough hand push at his shoulder and against his open locker door, the small poster he kept inside fluttering to the ground again. He muttered angry incoherents to himself, pressing the corners of the frayed paper back against their bubble gum adhesive, wondering for the infinite time how he got so unlucky as to have his locker next to Pete Wentz’s. These little interactions happened at least once a day, usually after the last period, when Patrick began to inwardly dread going to band practice.

(If You Put Your Trust in Me) I’ll Make Bright Your Day

Prompt: Pete volunteers at a homeless shelter where Patrick is staying.

At first he’d mistaken Patrick for another volunteer, a high school kid looking for something to put on college applications. When he found out from the supervisor that Patrick was sixteen and had been kicked out for being caught with another boy in a compromising position, Pete felt like the biggest idiot to ever walk the Earth. He decided to make it up to Patrick by being the best friend he’d ever had. (And Pete called his mom that night and thanked her for not kicking him out when he told her he was gay.)

Baby You're My Light

Prompt: Pete and Patrick are married and Patrick is pregnant with their third child. Their relationship is really strained and it seems like the pregnancy is just making everything worse but it somehow ends up fixing their problems

The problem was, Pete decided, watching some birds in the backyard while picking at the remains of Billie’s Cap’n Crunch, there was no excitement. There was just a routine. Wake up, wake the kids up, get them to school, go to the studio, come home. They were in, for lack of a better word, a rut. Not an “all we need is a vacation” rut, an “Oh my God I’m turning into my father” rut.

Born Leader

Prompt: Pete is a faily supervillain bent on world domination

He clapped his hands together once, then again when he saw the small dust cloud they created. Pete was in grey scale from all the dust covering him. Patrick cleared his throat and waited for him to continue.

"Right, okay. So I've been thinking we maybe took that getting in from the underground plan--

"Mission Gopher Patrol," Patrick corrected.

"Right. We took it too literally," Pete said, frowning. He ruffled his fingers through his hair and sent up another cloud of dust that had him coughing.


Prompt: Pete’s in a psych ward and every day, without fail, Patrick comes to visit him.

Sometimes time slows down, and stops, when his mind crawls out of the frame of sanity, and sometimes it speeds up so quickly that his heartbeat goes with it. He feels fine, really, fine, but most of the time he wishes that he can have a fish bowl that he can put over his head -- not to suffocate him -- but to tear himself from all the noises people make. His head hurts most in the morning, when the nurses are inside the ward with their clipboards and thermometers and charts full of smiley faces. He tries to respond positively so that he can get out of this goddamn place as soon as possible, so that he can be with Patrick, so that he and Patrick and still make music together.

Dance, Dance (Table Dance)

Prompt: Patrick gets stupid drunk and performs a table dance that becomes a legendary inside joke within the bandom.

But Pete had a problem: seeing Patrick do a table dance and attempt to strip was, well, hot. Call him a pervert, a sick bastard with no life—he jacked off to that fifty-three second video three times in as many days. But that video and the pictures were quickly becoming not enough for Pete. He already knew he was probably going to Hell—why not sweeten the deal for Satan?

What A Beautiful View

Prompt: Pete has a thing for Patrick's chubby body and loves watching him eat.

It’s more than Patrick’s warmth or his aura that he’s begun to crave, it’s the softness of his figure, the gentle curves of his body. His fingers itch to feel the soft skin, not only soft and smooth to the touch, but soft all over. And it’s not just the softness, it’s everything about his frame, from his chubby cheeks to his round belly. It’s the nearly cherubic look of innocence and the way the extra weight suits his personality, offering the same open invitation that he offers with his heart. Pete loves everything about it, from the way Patrick manages to still look so sexy to the way he feels surrounded by Patrick’s softness and warmth.

Brittle, thorny stems (break before they bend)

Prompt: Patrick auctions off his virginity because he needs the money.

It’s nothing new. Not really. People have been doing the same thing for centuries. Patrick’s never been the sort to buy into delusions. He’s not the smartest kid in the room, but he’s far from the stupidest. William can fall in love for both of them. Patrick just wants to make it out of Chicago and into Julliard. He’s done the latter – each night for the last month he’s slept with his acceptance letter under his pillow - now he just needs to achieve the former.

For Someone Half as Smart, You’d be a Work of Art

Prompt: Patrick is forced to change schools after his ex-spreads a rumor that he is a whore and broke up with him after they had sex.

Patrick pushed the headphones closer and turned up the volume as high as it would go, trying to drown out everything. He’d already tried making himself feeling better with his favorite movie and his favorite book. Music was his last safe place.

There’s a little bit of magic in everything, and then some loss to even things out. Patrick could agree with that. The best night of his life followed by the worst day. That was pretty even.

Country Death Song

Prompt: Patrick and Pete rent a cabin for a romantic getaway. However the cabin is haunted and Patrick becomes possessed by various spirts that inhabit it.

“Possessing my boyfriend? Not fun. For him or me.”

“Men can have boyfriends?” Joanna said. “Goodness. What year is this?”


“I died in 1947. Tuberculosis.”

Our Needs And Wants

Prompt: Patrick gets the urge to blow Pete at inappropriate times and places.

On the drive home, Pete’s got one hand on the wheel and the other wrapping around Patrick’s. They’re singing along to a mix tape. At the next red light, Patrick leans over and kisses Pete right behind his ear. He stays this close, whispering into Pete’s ear. “I’m not a ‘weirdo,’ asshole. You told me you like surprises.”

I'll Find A Way Out

Prompt: Based on "Colly Strings" by Manchester Orchestra.

Patrick would feel bad if he hadn’t spent the last two years blaming himself for everything. Everything that he hoped for that came true. Wishing on shooting stars. When he opens the door and it’s Pete, there is no surprise. He’s been wishing for this too.

Four on the Floor (america's suitehearts AU)

Prompt: Sandman goes through sullen Dark Knight phases, and Benzedrine tries every syringe in his arsenal to snap him out of it.

It’s only when Benzedrine is desperate he runs his fingers over his own needles and shuts his eyes, he realizes that Sandman’s tolerance has gone off the fucking charts. And he’s not addicted. He doesn’t need drugs to function. It’s something Benzedrine is forcing on him because he’s scared and that’s all he has.

we'll cut our bodies free

Prompt: Patrick is in an abusive relationship and Pete is determined to help him out of it.

"What happened there, dude?"

"Oh it uh - slammed the car door on it."

Patrick's smile is thin, and Pete wants to say, if you'd slammed your hand in the car door you'd look me in the eye, but instead he just takes Patrick's hand lightly by the wrist, and holds it up to look. Patrick's whole arm is trembling.

"Aw, man," he says, running his fingers over Patrick's hand delicately, soothingly, "that's pretty nasty. Any car door that hurts you like that had better run for cover, because I am after that thing, Patrick. Like fucking Fight Club."

Somewhere I Have Never Travelled

Prompt: Based on E.E. Cummings' Somewhere I Have Never Traveled.

I fell in love with you after that day in the parking lot.

People asked me later why I did it, and I didn’t know. I wasn’t happy, but I wasn’t sad. I was numb; hollow inside like a carved pumpkin; a cocky, foolish jack-o’-lantern grin sawed into my face.

All I want is you (for Halloween)

Prompt: Pete takes Patrick on the least scary haunted hayride ever and keeps offering to hold his hand and protect him.

Patrick has never been less scared in his life. Actually, that’s probably not true, but he’s been to Hello Kitty themed birthday parties that were more threatening than this place. He tells Pete this.

“Hey, that cat is fucking scary,” Pete says. Patrick didn’t disagree.

Don't want to miss a thing

Prompt: Just some domestic fluff where Pete is all sappy and in love and feels like he's gonna burst of happiness just by thinking he sleeps next to Patrick every night.

He plans. He makes lots of plans, and doesn't even call the tangle of ideas hopes or wishes in his head, because it's all within reach as long as he keeps Patrick with him.

Some days, when he can tell Patrick's about to wake up, Pete tries holding his breath, or evening it out, or snoring a little, playing 'possum. Its possible that Patrick can just tell when Pete's awake. Patrick should know him that well.

The Trials and Tribulations of High School

Prompt: It's no secret that Pete is head over heels for Patrick. What is secret is how much of a crush Patrick has on Pete.

If there's one thing Pete doesn't understand, it's the indefatigable, undefeated, impenetrable immunity of one Patrick Stump. It would be awesome and admirable, really, if it wasn't directed against him.

a heart once wild (now half devoured) (implied Patrick/OC non-con)

Prompt: Someone rapes Patrick to get back at Pete.

What scares Joe most (and this is the fucking scariest thing he’s ever been a part of) is that he can’t tell who’s more hurt. Which means more, the physical pain or the emotional? Because Patrick’s in a goddamn hospital bed, being pumped full of painkillers and morphine, and when Joe found him on the bus he was all bloody and bruised in the absolute worst places.

But Pete—Christ. If not for Andy basically holding him down, Pete would be screaming and tearing his hair out and clawing at his skin, going crazy. His brain is going thousands of miles an hour, obsessing and going over the slightest of details, trying desperately to figure out why this had to happen. The guilt. The shame.

++ laughing at the sunrise like he’s been up all night
++ won't write my poem 'til I'm in my right mind
++ a madness shared by two people
++ they took your life apart, and called your failures art (they were wrong, though)
++ a few good friends to see me through

Eat Your Heart Out, Peter Parker

Prompt: Patrick is the superhero Alpha Dog and Pete is his nemesis Omegalomaniac.

"Another late night?"

"Two foiled robberies and saved a jaywalker from turning into a road pizza," Patrick sighed, bending to pick up the next box that needed to be unpacked. "Bastard didn't even thank me, he just tried to get a picture on his camera phone."

"Ungrateful citizens. I wasn't talking about your second job, though, I was talking about this Pete you refuse to tell me anything about."

++ Dweeb Club
++ In The Lair of The Librarian

Symphony No. 9 in D minor.

Prompt: An explosion at a show ruptures Patrick's eardrums. He loses his hearing.

In 1798 Beethoven started to lose his hearing. Tinnitus, started it. Or maybe lead poising did. Or syphilis. Or one of a million unknowable things. Pete looks them all up online. It happened slowly, little by little. Slowly deteriorating no matter what he did, until it was all gone.

Pete doesn't know if its better or worse that it happening all at once for Patrick.

Boycott Love

Prompt: Patrick is a sexy hipster party boy who makes out with other sexy boys with sharp hipbones. Pete is a newcomer to the scene, a dark stranger from out of town with a mission to finally pin down Patrick once and for all.

It wasn’t exactly Patrick’s fault why he was city hopping, or doing any of this stuff. It was just that prostitution was legal, a lot of drugs were legal, he made a lot of friends with big names, short stabby Hollywood names, blah blah blah, it wasn’t his fault.

Patrick tells the dealer, "Hit me."

A treatise on the practical advantages of invisiblity

Prompt: Pete somehow has the ability to turn invisible and follows Patrick into the bathroom and watches him shower, change, sing embarrassing songs, sleeping, etc.

The thing is, Pete had never meant to keep the invisibility thing a secret. Not from Patrick, anyway. It's just that Patrick was out of the house when it first happened, and when he'd come back Pete had been kind of leaning over the bathroom sink, not-looking at himself in the mirror. It was freaky. He seriously had been on the verge of turning visible again and telling Patrick all about it when Patrick started taking his clothes off, and by the time it occurred to Pete that it might be a good idea to leave, the bathroom door was closed and locked. Leaving after that would have been way too obvious.

Chasing after you

Prompt: Patrick is a drum major. Pete runs cross-country. They meet when the cross country team almost runs Patrick over on his way home.

“Shit, are you okay?” This kid asks, going over to Patrick. “Dude, I’m so sorry,” his words are breathy.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Patrick replies flatly, examining his forearms, spotting scrapes on his elbows. “I’ll be okay, you should get back to your uh,” he looks over Pete: short shorts, tank top, running shoes, “track team, or whatever it is.” He shrugs. This was embarrassing enough; he didn’t want this kid hovering around.

Dweeb Club

And now, the thrilling continuation of Alpha Dog vs. Omegalomaniac!!!

"I'm Pete," he adds, offering a hand.


Jon glances between them with a knowing smirk and retrieves Patrick's coffee from Brendon, who's watching the proceedings like there's something magic happening right before his eyes. "Grande black, Rick."

"Put it on my tab, J. Walk," Pete beams, lingering in the handshake.

I'm Lovin' It

Prompt: Pete hits on Patrick via drive thru at McDonalds.

“Welcome to McDonald’s, how can I help you?”

Patrick heard some faint humming of thought – something that was definitely common, but this was going to the tune of Journey, and by the sounds of it, this guy really needed to actually hear the song.

He waited, almost scared to speak again, and as he finally worked up the courage to open his mouth, the guy spoke, “Yeah, you could help me by telling me where you got such a pretty voice.”

++ art: damn right, it's better than yours

Prompt: Pete loves Patrick so much it hurts. Benzedrine gives him the key to Patrick's heart-Drugs and drugs and drugs, all for the small price of Pete's soul.
(america's suitehearts AU)

Benzedrine wrings him up by his stupid hoodie with wide eyes and puckered lips. Bright colors.

"You poor thing." Benzedrine murmurs, his voice sing-song, melodic. This is his normal voice. He kisses Pete on the cheek. "Normally, I-I . . . I don’t do this. But I feel so sorry . . . What is the one thing you want to know, in life?"

Stumped on the internet

Prompt: On one of the rare occasions Patrick is on the internet, he stumbles across some slash fiction of himself & Pete.

He must have clicked on the wrong link in Wikipedia/Lovemaking or something.

He had only wanted to know how to obtain a safe blowjob from a partner with unknown STD status. Out of scientific interest. Someone could ask if he knew that, and then the information would come in handy. So he had looked it up. Just in case.

Small Victories

Prompt: With all the problems fame brings, Pete and Patrick are thankful for small victories.

“You know, Pete, this would be less depressing if it took more than five beers to get me even slightly buzzed anymore.” Patrick is stretched out to his left; his legs kicked over the arm of a plush chair, still in the same clothes. The coffee table in front of them is littered with the remains of two six-packs of Sam Adams.

“I think I’m at seven.”

“That’s because you’re an overachiever and drink the hard stuff.”

“Can’t argue when you’re right.”


Prompt: Patrick is upset because his everything hurts because of the baby.

“You should just take it all slow and try to enjoy it, you know? It’s not like everybody gets to experience the whole… miracle of pregnancy and all. Like, I see you every single morning all pregnant and everything and I love it. I think it’s amazing. It’s like a new gift every morning and I’m so happy that you get to give it to me. Everything you’re going through – pain or whatever – is just so… it’s so cool, Patrick. Every time your back hurts or the baby kicks or hiccups or you can see the baby on the screen at the doctor’s or hear its heartbeat… that’s what you need to walk away with. Appreciate it and be happy and enjoy it while you can. It’s perfect,” he smiled, leaning in and kissing Patrick.

“Can you just think about it like that?”

“I’m a whale,” Patrick announced finally.

In The Lair of The Librarian

And now, the thrilling continuation of Alpha Dog vs. Omegalomaniac!!!

The base of operations for the one-man chaos machine known as Omegalomanic wasn't in an abandoned warehouse or a top secret lab. It was a quaint two-story colonial in the suburbs, lovingly dubbed Fuck City by the five 20-something men that lived there. As unassuming as a house full of straight-edge hardcore dudes could seem, its purpose and habits were by far more sinister than they seemed.

Their game: anarchy.

Their tool: Omega.

Prompt: Patrick posed for a dirty playgirl-type magazine some years old.

Pete was cleaning out the attic, fuck him if he knew why, it just needed doing. Pete got strange tidying urges when he went without sleep for too long. And the attic was fucking filthy, what the shit was that about? It wasn’t like anything went on up there, but that didn’t stop the dust and the leaves and freaking spiders with their webs and evil, little minds.

Point was, attic: dirty and unorganized.

time for heroes

Prompt: Pete invites Patrick over to his apartment for the weekend and hides all of his clothes from him. Thus forcing Patrick to walk around the aparment naked, as part of his plan to prove to Patrick that he is beautiful.

“Pete, I don’t,” Patrick exhales, closing his eyes tightly shut. “I hate this.”

Pete feels frustrated with himself for not helping Patrick like he wants to, and frustrated with Patrick for being so goddamn set on not seeing himself for what he is; fucking beautiful.

“Okay,” Pete sighs into Patrick’s ear, letting his chin rest against the pale skin of Patrick’s shoulder. “I didn’t want to do this, because believe me, we’re heading to Cheesy Town.”

They Say the Captain Goes Down With The Ship
(what a catch AU)

Prompt: Pete's the only one alive after the wreck, therefore the only one rescued by lonely sea cap'n Patrick.

Pete is pulled from the cold water, rescued from the wreckage. After the drum kit, after the strange letters, floating on the ocean, Patrick sees someone balanced precariously on top of some wooden wreckage of the boat. Sure, Patrick had seen other bodies, bloated and waterlogged, but this one is different. This person is alive. His olive skin is pale, his lips are blue, but he’s alive.

days go by (and still i think of you)

Prompt: One day, when Pete wakes up, Patrick is just gone, and nobody remembers him except Pete.

these times are the times when the memories are too much and too real, where he misses patrick so much the ache is like a bullet-wound to the head and he's starving for patrick's everything. it's times like these he recollects the memory of a side of patrick he only ever let pete see: a day where patrick was going through a tough time and came to pete, crying into his shoulder and whispering,

"nobody would ever, ever remember me."

that day, pete had only hugged him harder.

he wishes he had done more.

Prompt: snowball fight!

"Ow, you fucker!" Pete howled and threw a half-formed snowball back at Andy haphazardly. Andy didn't even bother to duck as the ball sailed through the air five foot to his left. Pete threw another, slightly better aimed ball at Andy and Joe threw himself into the middle of it with a yodeling battle cry, seemingly trying to throw balls at Pete and Andy at the same time.

Patrick grinned to himself evilly and used his bandmates' distraction to make his move: Sneaking up behind Pete, he grabbed the back of his pants and, with one fast move, stuffed a handful of snow down Pete's underwear.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3: anon!fic | part 3: comment!fic | part 4: bbb | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | beam me up, scotty

part three: comment!fic

Yule Shoot Your Eye Out
By femmequixotic || (mpreg)

For The Bandom Mistletoe Meme

It’s Christmas Eve and Patrick is feeling decidedly Scroogish, which makes him feel guilty because, hell, it’s the fucking holidays—peace on earth, goodwill to man and all that shit—but his feet are swollen, and his fucking kidneys are bruised from the damn kid kicking nonstop and this is entirely Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz the fucking III’s fault.

All of it.

Pete/Patrick van BJ extravaganza
By dracopet

For The Bandom Goes Down (Baby's first oral) meme

It doesn't really come as a huge surprise, because seriously, Pete has *seen* Patrick's mouth, has even jerked off thinking about it a few times, and it's pretty much made for blowjobs, but Pete? Is definitely not lucky enough to be where he is.

"Kiss him once for me" (locked)
By megyal || PG || with Patrick/a bunch of people \o/

It was a stupid hat, and Patrick only agreed to put it on for two reasons:

1. Pete had that threatening gleam in his eye, and Patrick really wasn't in a mood to spar with him over a hat. It was Pete's Christmas party, after all.
2. Who was going to kiss him, anyway?

Hey, wasn't there that one time when they were in college together that Patrick hit on Pete...
By lordessrenegade

The problem is, Patrick isn't very good at hitting on people. And he's even worse at hitting on Pete.

Because it's Pete, who hits on everything with a pulse. He doesn't notice when people are hitting on him back, because he's too busy doing it as a way of life.

By kardia

For The Bandom Mistletoe Meme

Patrick stumbled blearily down the steps of the bus. He got the door open, winced at the sunlight and was immediately hit in the face with greenery. Someone had draped a large bunch of mistletoe across the doorway, high enough to start out as subtle, low enough to smack you in the face when you didn't realise it was there.

The personality traits of this mistletoe all sounded rather familiar, Patrick thought.

By bestthingaround || with some Pete/everyone

For The Bandom Mistletoe Meme

So far, Pete had kissed everyone that night. Everyone. William, Jon, hell even Korean Tom Cruise got a smooch from Pete. He was in one of those moods.

So why had he kissed everyone but Patrick?

vague soccer-player/high school au thing
By softlyforgotten

For the "music is my boyfriend" meme

"i really hate this song."

pete props his chin on the top of the door and says, mournfully, "does it hurt you inside, lunchbox? i am hurt deep inside, today. shall i tell you why?"

"please don't," patrick mumbles.

The Wentz/Stump ticket
By shirasade

For The Political fic meme

It had all been Pete's idea, of course. Egged on by years of exposure to Andy's speeches (sometimes Pete accused Andy of spreading The Message subliminally in morse code via his drums), Pete had ended up getting a PhD in PoliSci and then decided that the only way to change things was to get involved.

By adellyna

For The Bandom Mistletoe Meme

Patrick doesn't have to look up to know that Pete's dangling the mistletoe just above his zipper.

It's three days after Thanksgiving, which is longer than he lasted the year before, but two days shy of how long he held two years ago. The year before that, he'd tried it just after they finished Thanksgiving dinner. By now, it's pretty much a script.

Patrick says, "No," without his eyes once leaving his screen.

Pete/Patrick (deleted)
By ladyrogueevie || PG-13 || 1,469 words

For The Bandom Mistletoe Meme

“You put *mistletoe* up? With Pete around? Joe, have you lost that many brain cells already?” Patrick’s angry, hands on his hips and flushed red underneath the Christmas hat his mother had sent from Chicago. He feels he has a right to be, though, because Pete’s bad at the best of times, but around Christmas, with the excuse of mistletoe? Patrick’s watched this happen every Christmas since he was fifteen now, and he still hasn’t got used to it.

By azrielen || NC-17

For The Bandom Mistletoe Meme

When Patrick wakes up about a week before they break from tour for the holidays, there's a box balanced on his stomach all wrapped up in the red paper with little gold Clan bats that Pete had specially made for this year's round of obnoxiously inappropriate gift-giving. He pushes it off his stomach into the pile of dirty clothes and rumpled blankets that lines the back wall of his bunk and goes back to asleep.

Sleepy Dancers Gone
By favouriterecord

For The Bandom Mistletoe Meme

Pete had managed to bounce halfway into his bunk and was splayed inelegantly over him, bare feet against Patrick's calf and half his body over Patrick's chest. "Patrick," he said urgently. "Patrick."

"Hmm?" Patrick managed, blinking into darkness.

"Patrick, it's snowing," Pete whispered, pressing his cold hands to Patrick's warm cheeks.

By violentfires

For the Bandom Porn meme

“So fucking beautiful,” Patrick mutters, sliding all three in and out, riding out the resistance. “So fucking beautiful and so mine.”

Pete breathes, hard and heavy, biting back a whimper when Patrick pulls his fingers away.

“Gonna fuck you now,” Patrick says, shifting over him.

are you ready for the Pete Wentz experience?
By wishpaper

For the Bandom Porn meme

Pete thinks it would be really awesome if Patrick would stop laughing right about now.

"Patrick," he says, trying to sound reproachful, but Patrick just waves a dismissive hand and keeps giggling, muffling the noise against Pete's thigh, pressing his grin into denim. Pete frowns deeply, embraces his inner petty bitch, and snatches Patrick's hat off his head.

Patrick stops laughing, kind of. "Hey, hey, fuck you," he says, making a grab for it; Pete holds it out of reach and gives Patrick a glare of utmost loathing, and Patrick dissolves into laughter again, hugging Pete's calf.

Pete/Patrick, NC-17, butt plug (deleted)
By ladyrogueevie

He messes about with it, trying it on various things and checking that the batteries are new. But after three hours of testing, he still has no clue as to what the little remote with three buttons marked one, two and three is actually for. That is, right up until he climbs back onto the bus, stabs his thumb down onto the first button in frustration, and hears a sharp inhalation from the front.

It takes a moment for the sound to register, and by then Pete’s taken his finger off the button. Once he finally realises what he just heard and makes the possible connection to his actions, he smiles.

Prompt: CAUTION! ZOMBIES! AHEAD!!! (deleted)
By indie_chicky

For bandomquickie


No one had told Patrick that Joe had lit up in the bathroom of the MTV studios while he and Pete did an interview, so when Joe had offered to drive, Patrick breathed a sigh of relief since he wouldn't have to be in charge and he might actually be able to take a quick nap.

45 minutes later, Joe was driving down a country road slower than an 90 year old woman and Andy was reading a map upside down. And they were nowhere near their destination.

chasing the direction  (unfinished wip)
By dare_to_forget

Prompt: Pete is a somebody. He's successful, important, wealthy. Patrick is a nobody. He's struggling, unimportant, barely getting by.

One block in, Pete promptly strode off the curb and sank his feet into an unnoticed rain puddle the size of a sewer cover, drenching his feet up to the tops of his ankles.

Pete stood shock-still a moment, wondering just how dim-witted he had to have been to not look before he stepped off the curb, before he realized he was actually still in the water. A string of profane curses slipped off his tongue, and he once again stepped out of the puddle, just in time to hear tires screech and someone lay on a car horn.

A hand gripped Pete’s elbow and yanked him back forcefully onto the sidewalk, as the cabbie powered-down his passenger window and yelled a few choice profanities of his own at Pete before speeding away.

Make-up sex!
By  leviticus_lied

Prompt: On average, Pete and Patrick only get about halfway through a breakup argument before the makeup sex kicks in.

“No,” Patrick bit out. “That can’t fucking hike up an octave there, Pete.”

“It would sound awesome, though, dude,” Pete promised. He fiddled with the tattered edges of his sweatshirt sleeves instead of tickling Patrick into submission.

“It doesn’t matter,” Patrick insisted, “because I am incapable of making that sound.”

“Just try,” Pete pleaded, being really really careful not to touch Patrick, since that pissed him off when he was already pissed off. “C’mon, I know you can.”

Sandman/Benzedrine blurb
By peytonl

Prompt: Sandman wants Benzadrine, and nothing's going to get in his way.

Benzedrine offers his wrists up, palm side up. His lips linger on his consonants. "You’re losing your touch, you know." His eyes are amphetamine big and deep. Sandman has his lye and water all in one room, but he’s not going out sober. Handcuffing those wrists, Sandman kisses Benzedrine’s restless mouth. A fever crawls under his skin. An overdose finds its way in Sandman’s mouth.

"I’m not losing anything. You’re not going anywhere."

Pete/Patrick drabble (locked)
By _slashygoodness

Prompt: based on this.

No one knew exactly when it started but one day, when Joe peeked over the top of his cubicle to find Patrick hastily scribbling on the back of a memo in bright red Sharpie.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3: anon!fic | part 3: comment!fic | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | beam me up, scotty

part four: bandom big bang

~bbb '08! Concatenation, the Birth of Babel, and Other Acoustic Rebellions
By swanswan || Adult

Summary: Patrick, the musical prodigy and sheltered student. Joe, the ex-student, pissed off and exultant. Pete, the privileged rebel, the visionary. Andy, the maquis. Together, somehow, they become a band.

Everyone in the compartment seems frozen solid as a wave of sound comes through the intercom system, resolving after a few seconds into a driving backbeat and at least two guitars thundering through a clashing rhythmic song—well, Patrick's not sure it can be called a song, but it's something. Without conscious thought, his knee starts to bob along with the drumbeat, and he jumps as Joe's hand clamps down on his leg. Joe is shaking his head, warning with his eyes. Patrick frowns and looks around the compartment, where every face is pale and scared, eyes pointed down at the floor, or darting around looking for the source of the music.

~~bbb '08! A Little More Kill Bill
By darksylvia || NC-17 || 20,608 words || (with Brendon/Ryan, Pete/William)
 || (vampire au)

Summary: Summary: Pete only has two things to live for: Keeping Patrick alive and killing as many vampires as he can.

He met the vampire hunters when he was wandering around one of the city's most popular make-out spots. They were grim-looking kids who didn't know what they were doing. He thought they were pretty fucking pathetic, pretty fucking likely to get killed any second. Even with their help, he couldn’t save everybody, couldn’t stop the exponential expansion of undead. But the hunters were also the only help he was likely to get.

In spite of the vampires he'd been stopping every night, sometimes dozens of them, he knew he was only making a tiny dent in the rising vampire population.

These little hunters were untrained, using badly-coordinated teamwork to scrape through each battle. They wouldn't have lasted much longer if he hadn't come along.

Except for Patrick.

~~bbb '08! Overheard ("Less Talk, More Rock")
By thejumpcut || NC-17 || ~35,000 words || (with Patrick/Spencer (Patrick/Panic), Pete/Ashlee)

Summary: Pete probably shouldn't have told the world that Patrick Stump had no game, and he definitely shouldn't have told Panic at the Disco. Because Patrick Stump is an evil mastermind, and he knows exactly how to make Pete admit the error of his ways.

Onscreen, Ryan leaned in to the TRL host's outstretched mic and said evenly, "Well, Brendon's our only single band member right now—" The screams took a moment to die out, and Brendon did an excellent job of not turning bright red.

"—so sometimes we send him out to play wingman to Patrick from Fall Out Boy, 'cause he has terrible luck picking up at parties and clubs or whatever."

"He's on tour right now, but he's totally nursing his wounds from his last round of unsuccessful attempts to charm the ladies," Brendon chimed in happily. There was more screaming.

~~bbb '09! BeWentzed
By scribblinlenore || NC-17 || ~40,000 words

Summary: An AU a la the movie Bedazzled. Patrick is a bored high school student who just wants someone to take him away from all this bullshit. Pete is the Devil, AKA Lucifer, AKA Beelzebub, AKA big trouble, who just wants…Patrick.

dear trick,

seven wishes for you
your soul for me
all you gotta to do
is dot some i's, cross some t's


"You're not much on punctuation or capital letters, are you?" Patrick says dryly.

~~bbb '09! Nightingale (And Not the Lark)
By redorchids || NC-17 || 35,500 words || (background Brendon/Ryan and Jon/Spencer) || (CSI AU)

Summary: Ryan Ross's CSI team joins up with Detective Pete Wentz to investigate a string of unusual murders.

“So, Patrick Vaughn Stump,” Pete says quietly. “What other powers have you got?”

He's playing with something; Patrick can see Pete's hands move through the dark netting that separates them.

“What do you mean?”

“You sing like there’s true beauty in the world, like there’s this big fucking light everywhere that will make everything okay in the end,” Pete says, and Patrick realises that the thing in his hands is actually a rosary. “And I see a lot of shit, okay? Every day, I go to work and see murder and assault and rape, but when I hear you, it’s like all of that just fades away.”

Patrick’s received a lot of praise for his voice over the years, and he knows he sings well, but no one’s ever put it quite like that. It doesn’t feel like a compliment, really; it’s a little too sharp, like the words burn his skin slightly when they make contact.

~~bbb '09! Monsters Inc
By impertinence || PG-13

Summary: Monsters Inc AU. Pete and Patrick are hard-working monsters at Bono's energy factory and Brendon is a babysitter who stumbles through an activated closet door. 

The kid sat up immediately. Andy blinked at it. “Hi,” he said, walking over to peer up at the kid. His head was level with its bed, but that didn't lessen the clarity of the words leaving his mouth. “Did you know the world's ending?”

A few minutes later, he walked back out of the closet, blood-curdling screams following him. “That should do it,” he said peacefully, sitting down cross-legged on the floor.

“You are fucking amazing, man,” Matt said, and hit the button to bring them another door.

~~bbb '09! Up The Line
By tabulaxrasa ||  Mature || 54,544 words (multiple pairings)

Summary: First World War AU

When Patrick's voice finally died off and his light turned off, Pete was still standing, waiting. He opened his eyes and looked at nothing in particular in the dark. He couldn't lose Patrick. No matter what happened, Pete was going to keep Patrick for the rest of his life, one way or the other.

~~bbb '09! Beyond The Sea
By ditchwitchbitch || NC-17 || ~63,000 words || (heavy Pete/Joe, Spencer/Jon, Brendon/Ryan, Joe/Greta, others)

Summary: Marine Biology student Patrick Stump was looking to get away from everything when he signed up for an internship, but he didn't expect to get sent all the way to southern Ireland. He's been assigned to work with Pete Wentz and his whale watching tour business, and though he'd never admit it, the town and its crazy inhabitants may hold exactly what he's been searching for.

"I met someone else," Frank said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "He and I just have more in common."

And then Patrick wanted to be anywhere else in the world but California with Frank and his art-major boyfriend who suddenly seemed to be everywhere, so he’d signed up for a year with a research internship program and figured he’d be transferred to Florida or Texas, or maybe if he was really lucky – Hawaii.

Patrick hadn’t actually figured they’d send him all the way to Ireland.

~~bbb '09! To Take What I'm Given With Grace
By likeasugarcube || NC-17 || 61,875 words || (minor/mentioned Jon/Greta, past Pete/Mikey)

Summary: Pete Wentz had all but given up on relationships until he discovered that he couldn't collect his trust fund without being married. Can he turn his sham of a marriage to music student Patrick Stump into something more? Or will they both end up out of luck and alone?

The thing is -- and normally, Patrick's not this guy -- but he pretty much hates Pete on principle. He doesn't like to judge people he's never met, he knows the media does their thing and everyone has a bad day sometimes. It's just that, it's Pete Wentz. The guy is a fucking douchebag. It's not exactly a secret.

Patrick remembers being fifteen, in the grocery store with his mom, seeing his face on the cover of all the tabloids, headlines announcing how Pete had OD'ed in a parking lot somewhere. His mom has clucked her tongue and said, "Such a shame about that Wentz boy."

All Patrick could think was how much he despised people like that.

~bbb '10 - wave 1! Love And A Bit With A Dog
By languisity || Adult || 12,628 words || (d/s themes)

Summary: Pete knows that he wants to be Patrick's something-- to be Patrick's-- before he knows he wants to be with Patrick. They don't start out as mutually exclusive occurrences. They still aren't and Pete is trying to reconcile that fact.

It starts out as a joke.

In a fit of frustration that neither one of them can remember the cause of anymore, Patrick takes a pair of twice-worn, rolled up socks and throws them halfway across the hotel room he and Pete are sharing. Pete doesn't move from where he is on the floor with his notebook because it's his room too, whether or not there's a Patrick raging in the corner. There's also the fact that he sometimes gets a perverse thrill out of watching Patrick get angry at such a close proximity. It's a lot like sitting out on your porch to watch a tornado a block away.

~bbb '10 - wave 1! Roomba v2.0
By piecesof_reeses || R || ~17,000 words || (robots)

Summary: “Do you realize how pathetic it is that you’re asking me for advice on how to sleep with your cleaning robot?”

“I’m not all that into pick-up lines,” Patrick says. “When you’re a robot, those tend to get really creepy really fast. Like, there are only so many puns you can make about turning me on, you know?”

~bbb '10 - wave 1! Do Fries Come With That Shake?
By likeasugarcube || R || 10,250 words

Summary: Patrick gets a summer job at a diner. Pete is kind of a stalker. Joe just wants a drummer for his band.

Two visits later Pete has still gotten absolutely nowhere. Patrick was completely unimpressed by, "Did you clean your pants with Windex?...Because I can see myself in them." And he was definitely not wooed by "I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?"

And okay, Pete knows the first one is a little sleazy -- but the second one has totally worked for him before. (He's not sure why, he thinks girls get stuck on the image of him needing a stuffed animal to sleep and overlook the sexual innuendo.)

~bbb '10 - wave 2! I Know This Hurts (It Was Meant To)
By dancinbutterfly || E || 68,030 words || (heavy D/s themes)

Summary: Pete feels like the prince trying to catch up with his kinky CinderDom, with a blindfold in the place of a glass slipper.

“I’ve been watching you for an hour or so. The ‘oh my god, is that really happening?’ expression gives you away.”

Pete shrugs. “It just looks intense.”

“It is. Do you want to try it?”

~bbb '13 - wave 1! yes is a world
By melusina and girlpearl  || E || 31,524 words
Now that Pete and Patrick are together, everything should be easier... except they still have to figure out how they work as a couple, in private and in public. Patrick is worried about Pete's ability to know his limits and Pete's worried about his ability to give Patrick what he needs. Meanwhile, the gossip magazines are desperately worried about the number of clandestine meetings going on. Secrets, negotiations, and bondage: a story about making it work.

~bbb '13 - wave 1! A Little Infamy
By ladyfoxxx || E || 33,000 words

Summary: Patrick is a solo artist who's sunk his heart and soul into a second album that's failing to chart. Obviously what he needs to bump up sales and dirty up his nice guy image is a sex scandal. His music label hire amateur porn star and aspiring poet Pete to pose as Patrick's boyfriend and together they make one intimate video destined for infamy on the internet.

Patrick falling for Pete isn't part of the plan.

"The part where they think you need to be more badass to appeal to a wider demographic then?" Butch interrupts, and Patrick can hear him smiling.

"No, the part with the sex tape." Patrick shouts back.

Butch slides back into view, holding two beers and grinning. "I knew you'd focus on that part."

~bbb '13 - wave 3! Tarnished Gold Standard
By bootson and doctor-jasley || M || 22,500 words

Summary: Director Wentz has made the Department stronger, more sane, and safer. Unfortunately, nothing is a sure thing in the field of private sector espionage. No one knows this better than Agent Stump, the best field agent on record. When a job goes south, it becomes more obvious than ever that the Department’s finest rely more on one another than anyone else, no matter how many people have their backs.

It never stops being intense - read: nerve-wrecking as shit - being reminded of that. Pete doesn’t think it’ll ever not be surreal. He didn’t hire into the Department with his friends to be promoted to Director. That wasn’t on the Life Goal list that Patrick made him outline during college.

Somehow, it happened anyway.

~bbb '13 - wave 3! fire alarms (and losing you)
By girlpearl  || E || 13,014 words

Summary: Patrick, for reasons that Pete's never had the courage to explore, has a little biological quirk that means once every month or so, he experiences a profound and undeniable need for sex. It's not a problem at first--he has a girlfriend at home, and when they're on the road, he and Pete have a casual, no-strings-attached gentlemen's agreement, and everything's working out great.

Then Patrick breaks up with his girlfriend. Lines get blurred, Pete is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths, and everything teeters on the brink of falling apart.

"Okay!" Pete forces a laugh, prying Patrick's hand off his shirt. "Let's—why don't you go get cleaned up," he says, and then, lower, "Look, I'll meet you back at the hotel, okay? Just. Not in front of the kids, right?" He jerks his head toward Andy and Joe, who are very studiously not noticing anything happening on the other side of the room.

~bbb '13 - wave 3! Once in a Lifetime (
By melusina || E || 14,500 words

Patrick couldn’t quite get his head around the idea that he’d lost six years of memories. One minute the band was on hiatus and Pete was barely speaking to him, the next, the band was back together and Patrick and Pete were married. It was everything Patrick had ever wanted, but he didn’t have any idea how to be the person everyone expected him to be.

~bbb '14 - wave 3! All Our Stars Aligned (Put Love On Hold)

By xaritomene and xrysomou || NC-17 || 133,792 words

Summary: Teetering on the brink of bankruptcy, Patrick starts playing cards at gaming hells to make ends meet. So far, he's managing, but when he meets Lord Highleyton, London's favourite disgrace, things start to unravel at an alarming rate - until Patrick ends up betting the last thing he has to offer: himself. Pete just wants to help, but he soon finds he might be doing more harm than good.


“As you say,” Lord Highleyton agreed with a bland smile. “So tell me. How do you intend to make up this debt?”

Patrick, driven to the last ditch attempt, made his first and (he hoped) last foray into prostitution. "I'm sure I could be useful in other ways, sir," he said, steeling himself. "There must be an- an arrangement which would be agreeable to us both."

~bbb '14 - wave 3! WFOB
By gorgeousnerd  || E || 10,500 words

Summary: Pete Wentz, sports anchor at WFOB, has a new mission when Patrick Stump takes the lead anchor chair: Operation Best Friend. But what happens when it turns into a romantic project?

"Good thing, too," Andy adds.


Andy gets to his feet and stretches. He's still wearing his street clothes - Green Bay jersey, dangerous thing to wear even in the off-season in Bears territory - so he probably needs to get changed. But he claps Pete on the shoulder before going for the clothing rack.

"Because you're going to want to have his fucking babies," Andy says, patting Pete's arm.

~bbb '17! A Charmed Life
By doctorkilljoy  || E || 38,170 words

Summary: Pete Wentz is a famous Charmer with a great talent for poetry magic. He's widely known for his books on the subject, and teaches classes to those who wish to learn. He even owns his own bookstore and cafe, Prince Charmer's. Despite success, his life is tedious. Until a musician comes in one day, asking for work. A musician named Patrick Stump.

They're from different worlds, Pete's magical, and Patrick's Banal. How long can Pete keep magic a secret from Patrick, and what will happen when Patrick finds out?

"Listen, he's good. VERY good."

Pete was going to ask what she meant, but then Patrick started playing. Pete didn't know the song, but it was beautiful. It had a playful rhythm to it, but there were some dark undertones. Amazingly, they melded together into something Pete couldn't describe. But it made him think of the silver skies outside, with sunshine breaking through on occasion.

~bbb '17! The Difference Between Real Love and the Love On TV
By scarredsodeep  || T || 30,125 words

Summary: It is the year 2008. Patrick, not exactly known for his assertiveness skills, is trying to get out of an awkward situation with an ex. Resident genius Pete Wentz suggests, "Just tell her you have a boyfriend!" This is the story of how Patrick Stump ends up pretending to date Pete Wentz and doing it with real feelings.


“Practice what?” Patrick’s voice comes out screechier than intended. It would be totally in character for Pete Wentz to sexually proposition him as a joke. It would be totally in character for Pete Wentz to have no fucking idea of the effect he has on Patrick.

Pete gives Patrick the side-eye. “Being a couple,” he says, voice indicating he knows what Patrick was thinking and does not approve of the low estimation of his character. “For example, your constant shrill suspicion of me is going to fool exactly no one.”

~bbb '17! Born Under A Bad Sign (You Saved My Life)
By honorablementioned || M || 20,703 words
 || (vampire au)

Summary: Joe starts referring to that night as the accident, and Pete can’t help but agree. He’s now a vampire with an addiction to blood and an addiction to Patrick, and he doesn’t know what else to do but face down William Beckett - his maker - to try to make sense of it all. Mix in a side of betrayal, a dash of soul bonding, and a heaping of love, and you have the makings of A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me AU.

“Joe, they fucked him up so bad. I don’t – I don’t understand. I know they’re monsters but he’s acting like an animal or something – ”

“Patrick, Patrick, calm down. You’ve read about this, right? You just need to feed him and keep him calm. What did the manual say? New vampires just need a little adjustment period. Remember high school? This is like puberty all over again."

part 1 | part 2 | part 3: anon!fic | part 3: comment!fic | part 4: bbb | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | beam me up, scotty

part five

By heyginger || E || 650 words

Patrick opens his eyes. Pete's still got two fingers deep in Patrick's ass, but his other hand, the one that had been holding Patrick's cock steady for Pete's mouth, that hand is flicking open Pete's Sidekick.

Patrick thumps his sweaty head back on the bed. "Pete! What the fuck?"

"Sorry, sorry babe. Just, this is, I have to take it...this'll just take a second."

For the Lovers
By ficsoreal || NC-17 || 876 words

Summary: Pete wants some Patrick time.

Pete drops his head down to nuzzle at Patrick's neck. He whispers, "How long has it been since we've fucked?"

Patrick blinks up at the ceiling, arching his neck to give Pete more skin to nibble at, lick at. He says, "This morning."

Pete hums. "Too much time has passed." He lets go of Patrick's arms in favor of palming his ass.

Invasion of the Patrick Snatcher
By scribblinlenore || PG || 1,000 words

Summary: When Patrick starts acting unlike himself, Pete jumps to conclusions.

"Somebody took Patrick!" he blurts out finally, with a rising edge of hysteria.

Andy raises an eyebrow. Joe looks questioningly over at Not!Patrick, who is curled up on a chair with a bag of Doritos.

"That person," Pete points his finger, "was reading Fall Out Boy pornfiction on the Internet and then grabbed my ass. Totally not Patrick!"

Did You Clean Those Pants With Windex? (Because I Can Practically See Myself In Them)
By adellyna || G || 1,000 words

Summary: Patrick works at the local library! Pete would kind of like to hold his hand.

Pete is pretty sure he’s not going to win Patrick’s hand in coffee-drinking or movie-seeing or backseat-kissing by being interrogated by the library’s security officer.

Instead, he comes when Patrick does Sock Puppet Theater. 

I Know You Like What's On My Mind
By ribbonsonwrists || NC-17 || 1,745 words

Summary: I am a man, a man, I'll give ya somethin' that ya won't forget. I said ya shouldn't have worn that dress. I said ya shouldn't have worn that dress, worn that dress.

It was a French maid outfit. A little tiara hat. A short, silky black dress, halter style. A white shirt with cap sleeves edged in black ribbon and a white apron that ruffled around the edge and would, Patrick assumed, tie around the waist, sitting over the skirt of the dress and the layers of frills that hid the white panties with their innocent black bow on the front. Patrick ran a shaking hand over the fitted waist and the corset that lay beside the outfit.

By megyal || R || 896 words

Pete floated awake.

Usually, he would snap to consciousness, feeling painfully alert, all his thoughts clamouring at the fore of his brain; some of them were thoughts that had been forcibly stifled by whatever medication he had taken the night before; as soon as his brain turned over the Open For Business sign, they seemed to pick up wherever they had left off, vying for attention.

Making Up For All This Mess (locked)
By likeasugarcube || NC-17 || 2,000 words

Prompt: theme: colors. "Pink as in the color of Patrick's ass after Pete has to spank him to teach him a lesson."

Patrick told him not to come to the airport, that he’d just take a cab, but he probably knew Pete would show up anyway. Pete sure as hell didn’t mean it when he’d said “yeah, okay, just call me when you get back to your place then, I guess.”

Now he’s standing outside the security checkpoint, pacing back and forth, alternating between checking his phone for the time and absently picking at the remains of the nail polish on his fingers.

On The Necks of Best Friends
By gibson_fic || Adult || ~55,000 words

Summary: "If he could say it, if he could tell them how it works, it might go something like this."

The fans and the press make a big deal about Pete and Patrick. About what they do or don't mean to each other, about what they should or shouldn't do with each other. Most of the fans want more, Patrick is pretty sure that only their own latent propriety and decency laws keep the fans from demanding full-on fucking on stage. And the press doesn't actually care, they just want something to speculate about, something to prod and poke at until they can take it apart and see what makes it tick--or break it completely.

Everyone has an opinion and Patrick largely tries to ignore them all.

By gibson_fic || PG || ~1,300 words

Right now, when there’s more than two thousand miles between them and neither of them is really sleeping and certainly not anything that could be considered restful, well Patrick can see why the McCartney’s never slept apart. Pete’s been talking about being an unreasonable dick and refusing to schedule things if it means they can’t be together at the end of the day. Patrick’s been resisting him, but now, rubbing a hand across his gritty eyes, he’s beginning to think the idea has merit. Certainly neither one of them is worth a dime right now. Patrick can barely even focus on the computer in his lap.

Wake Me Up Before You Go (Go)
By sharon_hate || PG-13 || 300 words

Summary: Pete and Patrick spend the afternoon in a McDonalds playpen, overlooking all the horrible little children. Or something.

“What brought all this want on?” He smirks, chewing on his lower lip. Public-sexing is wrong, not public-flirting. Wrong seems harsh, though. Inappropriate?

“The way you handled that kid bullying Andrew,” Patrick smiled coyly. “You were so… authoritative. Strong.”

The bully was 11 years-old, but far be it from Pete to ruin Patrick’s vision of him.

What if it was you (that I needed all along)?
By fidelian || 2,400 words

Summary: You know how it is when you get really drunk, and the next day everyone is sniggering and saying cryptic stuff and you have no idea what the hell is going on? Yeah, that.

You were pretty fucking wasted last night.”

The lisp in Joe’s words told Pete that this probably wasn’t his first smoke of the day. “I wasn’t that bad, was I? I don’t remember being very drunk. Kinda hung over today, though.”

Joe barked with laughter and sank lower into the chair. “You haven’t seen Patrick yet? Dude, that’s awesome! Tell me when you do so I can watch, okay?”

better off the other way around
By megyal || NC-17 || 2,971 words


What really got his attention was the entry on a love-potion.

"Jesus," he said, rolling his eyes some more and moving on to an entry describing a potion used to fend off unwanted lovers; he pondered making that and dousing rabid fans with it.

Oceans (locked)
By fledmusic || PG || 553 words

Patrick told him not to come to the airport, that he’d just take a cab, but he probably knew Pete would show up anyway. Pete sure as hell didn’t mean it when he’d said “yeah, okay, just call me when you get back to your place then, I guess.”

Now he’s standing outside the security checkpoint, pacing back and forth, alternating between checking his phone for the time and absently picking at the remains of the nail polish on his fingers.

Feels Like What I Like (locked)
By likeasugarcube || NC-17 || 1,200 words

Because of this picture

Pete comes outside as Patrick’s trying to shove the last box of merch into the van. He knows he should help, but Patrick’s bent over and his ass looks amazing in those jeans, so no, Pete’s going to stay right where he is and admire the view. Patrick shoves the box one last time and it finally slides into place, wedged in with everything else in the back of the van. Pete watches as Patrick finally shuts the door and turns around, surprised to see him standing there.

“Thanks for the help, douche.”

Never Drop Your Heart, Never Break Your Name (locked)
By _slashygoodness

Pete rocked back and forth on his heels, squinting up at the clouds and shading his eyes with his free hand. "Come on, come on, where are you?" His pointed tail flicked impatiently back and forth behind him, occasionally tapping out a rhythm on the ground. A bright light broke through the overcast sky and he had to close his hazel eyes completely for a moment. A wide grin broke across his face and he brought out the heart he'd been holding behind his back.

Five People Patrick Bossed
By t_usual_suspect and brandixcyanide || R || 1,218 words

Summary: “For as little as he is, dude’s pretty fucking militant,” says GCH frontman Travis McCoy. “He’ll be like, ‘Travis, hit this note!’ and I’ll be like, ‘Just tune that shit!’ and he’ll say, ‘Just fuckin’ be a man and hit that shit!’ I got four feet on the dude, and he’s putting me in check.”

Travis grit his teeth. Fucker was a pushy son of a bitch, demanding, irritating...and right. Fuck. "Son of a bitch."

"Where do you think I learned it?"

Never Know How Much You Shine (locked)
By likeasugarcube || NC-17 || 2,600 words

Prompt: White for the color of the slutty bunny outfit bb!Patrick wears for Pete

"Do you really think I would've made you do this if I'd known you'd hate it so much?"

"It's not that I hated it, I mean, I liked that you liked it, I just..." Patrick sighs, trying to find the right words. "I think costumes like this are supposed to make you feel sexy and it just made it more obvious how sexy I'm not."

"I wish you could see yourself the way I see you," Pete says, running his fingers along Patrick's thigh, resting his hand on Patrick's knee.

Freaky Friday
By cardel || R || 6,755 words

Summary: AU in which Pete and Patrick switch bodies; awesomeness esues, that’s all I got.

Patrick sighs, “What can we do but wait it out?”

“And if you don’t change back?” asks Joe, who is looking at Pete, who has hopped onto the counter and is swinging his legs back and forth.

“Look at how cute my legs are,” Pete announces, staring intently at Patrick’s legs as they swing back and forth.

Shut Your Pretty Mouth (no link)
By oxygen_losers || R || Patrick/everybody

As far back as Pete can remember—as far back as he knew Patrick, that skinny, shy little thing of sixteen—Patrick's never really liked Halloween. Which, okay, fine, he always tried so hard to be mature, like Pete could judge, seriously, but there's. There's something else to it, because Patrick's not afraid of anything. But he's fucking weird about Halloween.

to know him is to love him
By fidelian || NC-17 || 5,400 words

You’re cool, Patrick.”

“You’re delusional, Ryan,” Patrick mumbles, but his brain has gotten going.

If Patrick is assumed to be cool, and Pete isn’t, and Patrick doesn’t notice Pete for, what, fourteen years, does that mean he’s a douche or just behaving like cool people are supposed to behave? Does it mean that he’s the ultimate high school cliché or, please no, that he’s seen as some sort of tortured artist like Ryan keeps calling himself in a grave voice?

Untitled (dead link)
By linzeestyle || 4,856 words || (genderswap)

RS: Your name is a bit unusual.
PW: It's Sharlot, actually. But like, I'm named after my dad. If I'd been a dude, I would've been Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III. I started using the other name in the Chicago scene, just to screw with people. [laughs] Patrick spends a lot of time telling people no, he doesn't actually smoke pole, his girlfriend's just f-cking weird.

these days we love
By exorcise || PG-13 || 1,400+ words

What is a secret is how Patrick pictures things in his head, how he runs through so many ways that something, anything, could happen and—it’s stupid and childish but Patrick can’t stop thinking about scenes that wouldn’t even work on the pages of a romance novel, let alone real life. As much as Patrick tells himself that things can’t and won’t work out with Pete, that someday down the line he’ll look back at this all and laugh about how much of a teenage girl he’s being, he doesn’t want to wake up.

That's Because It is a Good Idea
By makesomelove || 6,300 words

Summary: Patrick goes to Peru and becomes a friend of alpacas.

Patrick takes only the clothes he's wearing, hat included, and his wallet, which contains his credit cards, ID, passport, a condom, some cash, some notebook paper Pete wrote something on which at the time was really funny but is now indecipherable because they were laughing really hard when he wrote it down, and a picture of his mom from the 1980s. He drives himself to the airport and parks in the long-term parking. He looks at the outgoing flights.

The one going to Peru catches his eye.

Rest Your Troubled Head In My Hands (locked)
By likeasugarcube || NC-17 || 9,700 words

Summary: Pete is crazy. Patrick fixes him.

In retrospect Patrick knows he should have seen the warning signs a lot sooner. Pete's been withdrawn for the past few days; he's pretty much stopped speaking to any of them outside of shows. It happened gradually, Pete retreating further and further into himself until he's shut the rest of them out entirely. Patrick corners him in Oregon, just after sound check, before he has a chance to disappear, and asks if he's been taking his meds.

"Yes," Pete says angrily, "Thanks for checking up on me, Mom. You gonna start counting my pills to make sure I'm telling the truth next?"

moon go down, do it again
By seimaisin || R || ~4,500 words || (minor/mentioned Brendon/Jon, past Pete/Ashlee)

AU, set in a universe based on J.D. Robb's In Death series. The year is 2059, and while culture has changed quite a bit, many things - like love and death - stay exactly the same.

Patrick twitched. He was useless here. Pete didn't need him, not in this crowd. The only thing Patrick did for Pete, socially speaking, was give him more of a reputation for being odd. Not that Pete needed any more help with that. Rich and eccentric and utterly, completely ruthless - that was Pete Wentz, in a nutshell. To anyone who didn't know him, that is. To Patrick, he was ... indescribable. As necessary as breathing. How had that happened? Patrick had been a cop for a long time, but not even he could puzzle out that mystery.

Probably they're against all the odds,
but hey, anything could happen

By scribblinlenore || NC-17 || ~6,500 words || Chester Byron/Marty Dressler (aka Pete/Patrick) || CSI New York/Law and Order crossover

Summary: What happens when these two cons meet up on the inside.

In the end, everything comes down to probability. Marty believes this the way some people believe in God. Chances that the oatmeal will be scorched at breakfast? 2 to 1. That the library will actually have the book he wants? 7 to 1. That CO Thorson will stop being a son of a bitch for five seconds? Infinity to 1.

The odds of causing three people's deaths and getting away with it? Not so good, in retrospect.

By impertinence || PG || 3,800 words

Summary: Pete and Patrick meet and it's a little bit of a disaster, if one with a future.

Maybe it didn't suck as bad for the kids who just had X-ray vision or, like, super bendy limbs, or normal stuff like that. But Pete had woken up psychic at the age of three, and yeah, it sucked. It sucked even now that he had a chip in his head and hadn't seen the inside of a governmental analysis building for over a decade. It sucked through the therapy, and the sleepless nights, and the occasional seizure. It sucked through the puking. It even sucked through the euphoric rush of emotion at shows that the chip couldn't quite block.

But when he explained that to Arma's new, scrawny tech, the kid just blinked and said, “Okay, but like. You can read minds, man.”

I slept with Pete Wentz, and all I got was some girly underwear
By scribblinlenore || NC-17 || ~6,000 words

Summary: College AU in which Patrick joins a fraternity for the killer bands and gets more than he bargained for in the form of Pete Wentz.

"You think we're gonna make it?" Neil Larsen, fellow Chi Kappa Chi pledge, whispers anxiously in Patrick's ear.

Patrick shrugs. "It is the last day. So, you know, probably." Unless one of us snaps and goes on a homicidal rampage first. He keeps this thought--or possibly it's more like an idea--to himself.

here. i made you a magical heart in exchange for yours.
By snarkyrainbow || PG || 900 words

Harry Potter AU

"The Slytherin is looking at you again," Frank told Patrick before slurping the rest of his pumpkin juice.

Brand New Colony
By languisity || G

Summary: Twinkies, sliced peaches in heavy syrup, and the sweet scent of destiny.

Patrick and Pete are skipping their fourth period classes (Gym and American History respectively) and Patrick doesn't usually do that-- it's always more trouble than it's worth-- but Pete promises to get Patrick as much of anything caffeinated that can be bought for under twenty dollars, and Patrick figures that's fair enough.

from here on out (locked)
By megyal || PG || 702 words

"How'd you know this was where I went to school?"

"I asked your mother," Pete said blithely; Patrick's plump lower lip twisted into a slightly confused pout. "I remember where you lived, yeah. I drove there yesterday, I have a pretty good memory. So I went back and asked her. She said you shouldn't be late for dinner, by the way."

an institute you can't disparage (locked)
By megyal || PG || 920 words

"Well, that priest was new, you know? And he didn't speak English so well. So he thought that we were being for real, and he… you know, signed up everything and sent it in. To wherever. I dunno, but the point is we're married."

part 1 | part 2 | part 3: anon!fic | part 3: comment!fic | part 4: bbbpart 5 | part 6 | part 7 | beam me up, scotty

part six

Prostitution Is The World's Oldest Profession (And I, Dear Sir, Am A Professional)
By scribblinlenore || NC-17 || ~5,000

Summary: AU with hooker!Patrick and stalkery music exec Pete (the stalkery part is not AU)

"No, no, fuck that. He won't be skanky. I told them what I was looking for," Pete reassures himself.

He'd been very clear about it when he'd placed his order. Not too studly. I don't want a guy who looks like he's made out of plastic. Actually, I'd say what I'm in the market for is 'cute.' Or 'adorable' if you can swing it. Someone you'd want to adopt puppies with. Um. Not that there will be any actual baby animals involved. But the dude will need to wear a tux.

Pete sighs. "He's going to be skanky."

Damn You Look Good (And Possibly I Have A Psychiatric Condition)
By  scribblinlenore || NC-17 || ~9,500 words || Sequel to Prostitution Is The World's Oldest Profession (And I, Dear Sir, Am A Professional)

Summary: In which Patrick retires from his career as a hooker, Pete is still a stalker, and a trip to Iowa is just the beginning.

Stockholm Syndrome. That's the only explanation for it, Patrick feels certain. The back seat of the limo is like a form of captivity. It's an enclosed space--if you don't count the doors and, okay, the sun roof. The privacy screen is closed, anyway. And, all right, so it's nicer than most cells, with its leather seats and tiny little TV and, fine, an actual wet bar. A gilded cage is still a cage! And, hey, the wedding reception had been pretty confining too, what with groups of people standing around chatting, blocking the exits.

Stockholm Syndrome.

Dreaming of You Won't Help Me
By rockerelly || PG || 1,070 words || (America's Suitehearts AU)

The fear that rages in Mr. Sandman’s sad brown eyes each time he looks at Patrick, the soft words that go along with it each time that Patrick lets his guard down, each time he lulls back into the gentle arms and the poetic words. The childish rhyming always dwindles to a stop, and the embrace gets tighter and tighter to the point where Patrick almost can’t breathe. Then Sandman leans down and whispers in Patrick’s ear, sounding terrified and mournful all at once,

“I will be your downfall.”

Cirque du Monoxyde (dead link)
By skelly_lector || R || (America's Suitehearts AU)

Stained up to the knees by blood and face paint, we charged towards the center of the fairgrounds, where the giant ferris wheel lay on its side, finally beaten down by gravity. Its red and blue lights were still flashing merrily away as we crowded around it, clinging to it the way drowning sailors cling to the remnants of their ship. And we were drowning, drowning in the stench of death and popcorn, of terror and cotton candy, of the burning oil from the deep fryers and the bruised grass beneath our feet. The flames grew higher, higher, consuming the brightly colored tents and staining the golden afternoon a vicious crimson.

And then from the flames emerged two figures.

The Last Good Thing About This Part Of Town
By scribblinlenore || NC-17 || ~2,000 words

Summary: Dirtycop!Patrick and hooker!Pete.

"This is a shitty part of town full of shitty people nobody cares about. We're gods on these streets. We can do anything we want, take anything we like. It doesn't make up for the crap pay or the fact that some knucklehead could come along and blow you away any damn time, but it's something. So enjoy it."

Patrick spent a year riding along with Stankowski, watching in disgust as he went off to coerce sex out of working girls, took bribes from drug-dealing scumbags, extorted protection money from local businesses. Patrick was never going to be that kind of cop. That was what he'd told himself.

Sealed With A Kiss
By gibson_fic || NC-17 || ~800 words

Summary: Snowballing. I don’t know what else to say here.

Patrick was starting to lose his rhythm, which only ever happened when he was close, and Pete pulled back a bit, hollowing his mouth and sucking as Patrick started to come. He waited until he was sure Patrick was finished, licking softly at the head of Patrick’s dick, and then he climbed up Patrick’s body, rubbing his dick against the edge of Patrick’s thigh, trying hard not to come as he leaned down and sealed his lips over Patrick’s.

Bedroom Eyes (Blurry Vision)
By languisity

Summary: Patrick asks Pete to wait once, and it turns into this whole thing.

Patrick whispers, "Wait?" in Pete's ear, breathless.

It's always a question, a its strongest a suggestion. Pete wonders about that sometimes, but as soon as he says 'yes,' it's like it's locked in. (Is that your final answer? No take backs.) And Pete always says 'yes.'

I've Got A Mind Full of Wicked Designs
By likeasugarcube || NC-17 || 1,262 words

Summary: Includes n00b-to-boysex!Pete, smug-bastard!Patrick and some fingering.

"You ever let any of your girlfriends do this to you?" Patrick asks, his thumb still rubbing in insistent circles.

Pete shakes his head and thinks about the few times Jeanae tried. He remembers pushing her hand away, saying, "Don't."

"Can I?" Patrick's voice is barely a whisper, but his eyes are locked on Pete's the whole time. Pete's dick twitches in response.

He's got butterflies in his stomach but he doesn't hesitate before nodding. "Yes."

Frogs Out There Who Used To Be People
By scribblinlenore || NC-17 || 3,800 words

Summary: Sexpollen of the supernatural variety.

He sits on the edge of the bed, none of him touching any of Pete. He has the best intentions of being good. Being careful. Being Pete's friend.

"Patrick," Pete says, a low moan torn from the back of his throat.

Technically, Pete hasn't actually asked for anything, but Patrick shakes his head, nonetheless. "You shouldn't-- There's something wrong. You're sick or--" Not in your right mind, but he can't say that to Pete. "You don't really want this. I can't--"

Pete's answer is to take Patrick's hand and move it to his cock.

"Fuck you, Doctor Wentz" (locked)
By megyal || PG || ~500 words

Patrick presses the fingers of his left hand to his forehead and hopes his brain isn't leaking through his ears. Doctor Wentz is a genius, a wonder in infantile genetic disorders.

Also, Doctor Wentz is an asshole. He delights in trying to trip Patrick up, but Patrick only looks stupid; he's a fucking doctor, too, and if it wasn't for this very important paper that needs to be presented in a few days, he would probably stuff Wentz's head into the autoclave over there and just leave.

The Rules of Battleship
By formerlydf

For at least two weeks, it's on the front page of every single newspaper and magazine out there. Who, after all, could resist this story? Sweet red-headed boy, kidnapped years ago by one of the country's — no, the continent's — no, the world's most infamous, dangerous, evil, fascinating criminals, and now returned to his home and his family.

You're Gonna Be a Rock Star!
By rockerelly || 2,600 words || (dance dance au)

Summary: Patrick Stumph has an encounter of the futuristic kind after the school dance.

“Morning sleepyhead. There’s coffee if you want some.” The other him sat up and scrubbed a hand down his face, and Peter shook his head.

“Pat, you hated coffee when you were younger, ‘member? It was only after we started driving all night to get to gigs that you started drinking it. You liked orange juice mixed with a little cranberry juice, if I’m remembering right.” Pat laughed and shoved Peter off the bed.

“You’re such a creepy stalker, Pete Wentz.

Dress Up In You
By gibson_fic || Adult || ~2,300 words

Summary: "If this was what surprise return trips home meant, maybe he’d find a way to make more of them."

He had Patrick’s 5o4Plan hat on his head; he was wearing Patrick’s favorite Bowie shirt, and he even had a pair of Patrick’s faded blue boxers hanging low on his hips. And Patrick, he hadn’t expected that. Hadn’t expected to come home and find Pete surrounded in him, in his stuff. It wasn’t like Pete didn’t borrow (or steal) his stuff all the time, but he didn’t think he’d ever seen Pete in a full-on Patrick-suit before.

Party Favors
By naotalba || NC-17 || 2,400 words

Prompt: Patrick gets drugged up at a college party and then gets passed around like a party favour.

College parties weren’t that big a deal to Pete, who was a) straight-edge and b) in college. And Patrick was too awesome not to have him come along when Pete was invited to a party worth going to. But Patrick hadn’t ever been to a college party before, and he was almost certainly going to do the thoroughly annoying drunken idiot thing at first. Since Pete didn’t want to deal with that, he made it his mission in life to make sure Patrick got over the 'experimenting' part of high school, ASAP. The easiest way to make that happen was to make sure Patrick's first time at a college party would turn him off partying for life.

No substitute for the real thing, but that doesn't keep anyone from trying
By scribblinlenore || NC-17 || 2,700 words || also Pete/OFC

Summary: Pete likes to celebrate his birthday with professionals. This time around, he gets a big surprise.

He takes a breath and lets it out, because it's Pete's birthday, and Patrick wants to be gracious about Pete's idea of a good time, even if he doesn't really get it. He even asked once: Why Vegas? Why hookers? Why every damned birthday?

Pete had just shrugged. "I like to leave some things to the professionals, you know?" This made about as much sense as Pete ever did.

Graciousness was really fucking hard sometimes.

Two-Sided Coin: Pete
By ficsoreal || NC-17 || 17,590 words || (one in a series)

Summary: Complete AU set in a society where status is shown by the number of tattoos a person possesses. Heirs to property get their first tattoos at puberty. It's completely ridiculous and self indulgent with Coming Out Balls, Courting Rituals, Gentlemen's Clubs, Brothels.

At the age of thirteen, Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III already had a goal, a mission to be noteworthy, to leave his mark on the world. His mother gave him sad, little smiles and said, "My little boy is growing up so fast, too fast," but Pete never understands what makes her sigh wistfully and shake her head. Pete credits his drive to succeed to the talk his father gave him on the morning he received his heir tattoo. He likes think that conversation can be summed up in one statement: "I don't give a fuck what you do with your life as long as you're making money and having fun."

Pete might have added the “and having fun” part himself, but, nonetheless, Pete takes that statement to heart.

++ Two-Sided Coin: Patrick

All Of Our Moves Make Up For The Silence (locked)
By likeasugarcube || NC-17 || 1,497 words

Summary/Prompt: "Pete fingering Patrick until he is crawling into Pete's lap begging to be fucked."

Pete thinks the best part about their parents not knowing that he and Patrick are dating is the fact that he can still sleep over at Patrick's house. Nobody even thinks twice about it because it's something they've always done. Pete has always slept better with Patrick next to him, but being able to kiss him before he falls asleep, that's even better.

The Man In The Mirror
By gibson_fic || NC-17 || ~2,870 words

Summary: "I want you to see that. To see how hot you get me."

In short, Patrick should really have known that this was where it was all headed, but there was no place in Patrick’s world where he automatically thought, “Yes, Pete is buttering me up for something and keeps telling me how beautiful I am, clearly he wants to have sex in front of a mirror.”

Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
By gibson_fic || Adult || ~1,600 words

Part of it was the maid. Pete had forgotten to cancel the service, and Patrick hadn’t thought about it, and there was way more money in being a tabloid source than in cleaning Pete Wentz’s bathroom. So she’d found them in bed together, asleep, and it was platonic and innocent, but no one would believe that. Well, no one but the people who weren’t likely to listen to that stuff anyway. And the picture was grainy and bad and sort of blown out in the way that cell phone pics always were, but it was obviously them. Perez had had it on his site before they’d even woken up and Pete’s blearly, “huh?” into the phone hadn’t been very useful when Ashlee had called.

Amok Timing
By naotalba || R || 6,233 words || (Star Trek/Bandom)

Summary: Pete Wentz's parents were actually aliens who crash landed to Earth in the '50s.

Patrick heard faint rattling in the kitchen. Pete grabbed his shoulder, and Patrick jumped, the phone falling out of his hand. "You aren't really going to believe me until I do this, no one ever does." Pete had a paring knife in his hand, and made a small cut on the fleshy part of his thumb. Emerald blood welled out.

"Remember I told you my parents weren't from around here? Well, I meant it."

By ribbonsonwrists || PG-13 || 1,040 words || (Pokémon/Bandom)

"DEE FUCKING SNIDER?" Patrick squeaked, staring at the Electric Gym's leader.

"Well yeah. Come on, Patrick hair like that doesn't just happen, okay?" Pete noted reasonably.

"Squirtle," the turtle added helpfully, then threw his tiny arms around Pete's neck again.

I’ve Seen ‘em on the TV, the Movie Show (They Say the Times are Changing but I Just Don’t Know)
By citrus_vanille || R || 1,503 words

Summary: Same-sex marriage was legalized in Massachusetts on May 17, 2004, that summer, Fall Out Boy was on Warped. These are facts.

They ask a security guard for directions, and he gives them a strange look, but points them in the right direction. Patrick’s pretty sure the look is mostly because of their end-of-tour clothes – and spares a moment to wish they’d had time to do laundry the day before, or that he’d thought to do more than pull jeans on over the clothes he’d slept in – but he also knows he doesn’t look his age, and right now he really, really wishes he did.

Pete grins wide in thanks at the guard, releases Patrick long enough to shake the guy’s hand enthusiastically like he just can’t help himself, then twists his fingers into the sleeve of Patrick’s hoodie, fingertips hot points of connection against the skin of Patrick’s wrist.

You're Lucky, Lucky, You're So Lucky! (Or Are You? Remix)
By stealstheashes || PG || (You're Lucky, Lucky, You're So Lucky! remix)

Summary: Patrick is pregnant but there's something weird about it.

It's not like it was a drug test or something; half the bands on the label would fail a drug test. Heck, the fumes from having had breakfast with Joe would probably keep him from passing a drug test. But Patrick was used to peeing in weird situations; it was hard not to be when he was dating Pete Wentz- he was actually almost surprised that Pete hadn't mentioned getting to pee in a cup.

The doctor had a fucking creepy look on her face when Patrick handed her the cup, but he just asked, “So I'm good?” and waited for her to leave before grabbing his clothes. Seriously, he was going to make sure that next time they got someone else to do the physicals. Anyone else.

Our Love Is On The Horizon (or, Pete and Patrick's Love Song)
By liebe_neu || 1,300 words

Summary: Pete takes some advice from Taylor Swift. Nearish futurefic.

Patrick shrugs and nods and reaches for a guitar. He dicks around with it for a moment, before plucking out the melody he'd been humming. Pete smiles and his head starts turning with a plan as he hears words in that melody. He says, "I can write something for that."

"Pete, I think you've got this backwards. You write first and then I add music, not the other way around." Patrick's grinning at him, like he thinks he's super funny.

Pete will always think Patrick is super funny and that has never been a problem, really. "Shove it, Stump," he says. "I got this."

If It Makes You Feel Good (Then It Makes Me Feel Alright) (locked)
By likeasugarcube || NC-17 || 1,680 words || (genderswap)

Trish eyes the rope nervously as Peyton climbs onto the bed and crawls up towards her, settling herself between Trish's legs. She rests her hands on Trish's knees, starts to lean in, and pauses.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I just, I wasn't," she starts, watching as Peyton's face falls. "I wasn't expecting...rope. That's kind of hardcore."

Steal This Moment, Make It Worth Saving
By likeasugarcube || NC-17 || 800 words

Pete is giving Patrick the blowjob of his life. Really. He's pulling out all the stops here, using every trick he's got in his arsenal. He's hoping it'll make Patrick a little more, uh -- amenable to what he's about to ask for.

This Glorified Graffiti
By cityfibers || PG || 1,503 words

Summary/Prompt: For anon_lovefest - "Patrick hates his boring office job, and then one day someone starts vandalizing the bathroom stalls."

The next week, after ducking into the bathroom to avoid Spencer from marketing, he'd noticed more lines, scribbled between "jordan haz krabs!!!" and "kevin is a cocksuckng asshole". Tuesday he finds "last year's wishes are this year's apology" looping around the handle of the stall door, Wednesday a "me + you" slanting beneath that. After two weeks of silence, it's a "i hope you choke on those words that kissed that bottle" carved in the wood. When Patrick runs his hand over the jagged letters, he can almost feel the anger bleeding from them.

Patrick, he knows he's not good with words, as he stutters through meetings and letters and presentations, but that doesn't mean he doesn't know when stuff is good, and these? These clumsily jotted scribbles, they read like poetry and lyrics, twist across the dirty walls like art.

Commit Me
By awkwardgturtle || PG || 653 words

"We can totally get hitched here," he whispered low in Patrick's ear.

Patrick made a disinterested noise and didn't look up.

Pete rolled his head so he was in Patrick's line of sight and grinned. "So how about it, Patrick?" Pete joked, brushing a kiss against Patrick's cheek. "Will you marry me?"

Pete Wentz: Virgin Slayer
By missmollyetc

Summary: There is a great deal of misinformation out there, and it’s time Patrick was set straight.

“Pete, did you forget our money from the bar manager? Wait, we never get any money. Did we get money?”

Pete frowned. “Patrick,” he said. “We need to talk about your…problem.”

“Pete, seriously!” Andy yelled back.

“My problem?” Patrick asked. He sat up. “What? There’s no problem. I’m fine, you’re fi—you’re swell. I’m going to stop talking now.”

Pete nodded. He opened his eyes very wide. If Patrick hadn’t known him better, he would have sworn Pete was trying to look…encouraging.

Listen To Me Slowly
By likeasugarcube || NC-17 || 915 words

Summary: It's hard to find time to jerk off when you spend all your free time in van with a bunch of other dudes, okay?

It's the middle of the afternoon and they're still like six hours away from Chicago. Everyone is climbing back into the van after stopping for dinner, and Pete tugs at Patrick's shirt and drags him into the back.

"It's naptime. I require your cuddling services."

Moving Pictures
By coricomile || NC-17

The tape is lodged between a box set of the original Star Wars trilogy and a battered copy of Sixteen Candles. It's unmarked and unboxed, and the stickers have been pulled off. Pete grins and pulls it down from the movie rack. Obviously, it's embarrassing. Which says something because, really? Sixteen Candles?

++ Tip of Your Tongue
++ Bedroom Talk

DC Comics and Chocolate Milkshake
By languisity || Adult || (ageplay , specifically adolescentism)

When Patrick got it, when he understood what Pete was asking of him, he said, "Okay," and, "I'll think about it. I promise," and hugged Pete so he knew Patrick meant it.

It went from being a weird thing, to a weird thing Pete wanted, which then became a weird thing Pete wanted that Patrick could help him have, and ended up just being something that Patrick could give to Pete. So it took a couple of weeks-- ones where he was very carefully Not Avoiding Pete-- but when he thought of it that way, it was pretty easy to say yes.

++ Authority figures rule

There Are Times When Silence Has The Loudest Voice (locked)
By likeasugarcube || NC-17 || 1,850 words (sequel to All Of Our Moves Make Up For The Silence

"Okay," Patrick says. He produces a tiny bottle of lube from the front pocket of his jeans, before undoing them and letting them fall to a heap around his ankles. Pete wonders if he had it during the entire show, wonders just how far in advance Patrick planned this.

Pete takes a step forward, about to help Patrick out of the rest of his clothes, but Patrick puts an arm out, keeps the distance between them. Pete gives him a confused look.

"I just. Um." Patrick's chewing on his bottom lip. "I can't stop thinking about how you said you wanted to watch next time."

Baby, I Hope That You Came Prepared (locked)
By likeasugarcube || R || 1,200 words (sequel to Never Know How Much You Shine

Summary: Written for the kink bingo prompt: "crossdressing – underwear/lingerie". Five times Patrick wore the little white panties.

The first time Patrick did it, Pete had practically forgotten about them. It's still early in the tour and actually have money for real food, so they stop for dinner at a Bob Evans. The waiter sets down their drinks and Pete is busy eating the whipped cream off his caramel mocha when Patrick decides to remind him.

He leans over and says, quiet enough for only Pete to hear, "I'm wearing the panties," in a completely casual tone. Then he reaches over Pete for a biscuit, like he hadn't said anything out of the ordinary.

Like a Stove I'll Turn My Love Down
By naotalba || NC-17 || 2,785 words

Prompt: "Patrick starts sleepwalking and eating all the food on the bus every night. Finally Pete locks the two of them into the back room one night, and Patrick acts on a different subconscious desire."

When Patrick's mom had told him to watch out for sleepwalking, Pete had assumed cartoonish, zombie-arms-out-in-front sleepwalking. Instead, the band got used to the occasional late night where Patrick randomly interjected into conversations, picked up a set of sticks and practiced fills for an hour or so, or, once, took a shower complete with washing his hair and scrubbing under his nails, all with his eyes open but completely unfocused.

But he had gotten better with time, and he'd never eaten in his sleep before.

Toy Works
By coricomile || G

Prompt: "Patrick is pocket-sized & lives in a doll house at a store."

Patrick has lived here for a very long time. It's lonely. The other dolls don't talk or move. They just stay where they're put and stare out blankly with their painted on eyes. Patrick tried talking to them, once. Tried touching a pretty Barbie's chest once, too. It was just plastic in the end, though, and he felt very ashamed after.

My Most Imaginary Friend
By fueledbysquee || PG || 1,300 words

Summary: Pete is lonely. Pete takes the opportunity to coax Patrick into the wonderful world of social networking. Pete's awesome, logical ideas have a habit of getting away from him.

The problem is, Patrick actually checks his email and reads his text messages, even if he's busy, because he is a professional. And then he gets mad if it's not worth the time he's spent on it. Then double-mad for each additional interruption.

In the midst of an epic youtube crawl, Pete wishes that he could just send stuff to Patrick, to get it out of his brain.

4/4 (Common Time)
By mazily || R

They sleep in the van-- "it'll be fine, just like the old days," Pete'd said, back when Pete still tried to make Patrick feel better-- in shifts of two, never three. Never three because one is not enough. One is not enough, and the Raiders are ruthless. Mindless, insane, living nightmares. Night of the Living Dead meets Twelve Monkeys meets 28 Days Later. Patrick sometimes wishes he'd never seen a horror flick. Never seen all the ways this could get even worse.

Make the Best of a Bad Thing
By lovelypoet || PG-13 || ~1,600 words

“Maybe not, but I’m still sleeping here tonight.” Patrick says, untying his shoes and dropping them onto the floor. “Since it’s your job to enforce visiting hours and my roommate is currently having sex with someone who doesn’t live in this building, you owe me.”

“So this is extortion?” Pete says.

“Yeah, basically,” Patrick shrugs.

Somewhere Along The Line The Pearl Would Be Handed To Me (dead link)
By likeasugarcube || R || 8,300 words || (hooker AU)

Summary: Things don’t always go the way you plan. Sometimes they work out anyway.

"Another town, another night away...swear to God I'll lay it all to waste." he quotes. "I wrote those words. That's me screaming my heart out on that tape of yours." Pete laughs. "Small world, huh?"

Patrick turns to look at him. "I...I didn't know."

"My life kind of just fell apart after the band broke up."

By liebe_neu

Pete doesn't like the sound of the trumpet. But he knows that Patrick has to practice. So he just usually pops in some earbuds and twitters until Patrick decides again that Pete is more important than a stupid wound-up piece of brass. And he knows Patrick actually likes to practice; it's just that sometimes he forgets.

Turned to Steel
By awkwardgturtle || R || 6,870 words || (Iron Man AU)

Summary: Iron Man movie AU.

Pete Wentz, the president and brain behind the infamous weapon company Clandestine Industries, had been captured three months ago by a terrorist group that called themselves The Cobras. Patrick, his highly-paid personal assistant, had thought that this was his chance to finally break off from this dead-end job and chase his dream of making music. But no, Patrick’s life wasn’t that easy. He should have known that Pete Wentz was a slippery son-of-a-bitch and would eventually escape. God fucking damn it.

Tip of Your Tongue
By coricomile || NC-17 || (sequel to Moving Pictures)

Something on the screen makes Patrick jump. He tightens his hand on Pete's thigh, fingers digging in. Pete makes a strangled noise and jets. He needs to be in the bathroom. Now.

Chiaroscuro (dead link)
By coricomile || PG-13 || 15,320 words

Pete loves the darkroom more than he loves his own mother. It's comforting. Especially when he's got it all to himself. There's no line of bodies crunched in at the sinks, no abandoned prints left in the washes, no idiot first quarters flooding the room with accidental light. It's just him, his film, and the pictures in his head.

The one where Pete is a stripper
By bluejbird || R

Summary: It's Patrick's 21st birthday and Joe hires him a stripper...

“Having a good birthday?” Joe yells in Patrick’s ear, pressing a beer into his hand as he does so, repeating, for the fifth time that night, that it’s legal now, and for the fifth time, Patrick rolls his eyes.

”Yeah,” Patrick yells back, over the blaring music. “Thanks dude! It’s been great”

He’s not big on parties, but the fact that Joe not only got all of their friends together to celebrate Patrick’s 21st birthday, but also managed to convince his parents to let them have the run of place for the evening. Patrick had always thought Mrs Trohman trusted Joe more than she probably should.

“It’s not over yet,” Joe said. “I got you a surprise.”

Bedroom Talk (dead link)
By coricomile || NC-17 || (sequel to Tip of Your Tongue)

Patrick’s other hand comes down across his back, warm and gentle, curving around his shoulderblade. Pete hums into Patrick’s chest and tries not to hump his leg like a puppy.

Didn't We Have Standards Once?
By languisity || Adult

Summary: Baby!band fic in which Patrick is about 18, Pete's 23, and there's an awesomely deserted changing room area in Target.

"Jesus Christ, fuck me," Pete whispered, and then had to stifle a whine when Patrick pulled off. He curled his hand around the back of Patrick's neck in a subtle reminder.

"Really bad idea," Patrick mumbled, and his lips brushed against Pete's cock when he spoke.

"Oh, fucking funny," Pete whispered back, but his voice went high and then broke on the "ee" when Patrick opened his mouth again and Pete's cock slide inside.

I Can't Say
By awkwardgturtle || PG-13

Summary: Patrick knows Pete a little too well.

Patrick knew Pete. Like, Patrick was the only one that really got him. He knew the inner workings of Pete’s mind like they were his own, even when Pete did not know them himself. It was a trait that Pete never understood, and it never ceased to amaze him when Patrick would turn his inane blather into something meaningful. It never ceased to disappoint him when others would take that meaningful something and spam the Q&A’s with “WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!!?!?1?!” No one knew it. No one got it.

Anything you want to hear (locked)
By megyal || PG || (Pete/Ashlee)

It's something that Patrick got used to over the years, the way he got accustomed to moving from plane to bus to hotel rooms, living in a manner that was overwhelmingly glamorous and breathtakingly tedious at the same time. He learned to absorb Pete's teasing compliments in the same way he consumed all of Pete's words, with careful consideration the majority of times and bewilderment on quite a few occasions. It is, obviously, Pete's mission in life to say the most flattering things he can about Patrick.

Hand In Unlovable Hand
By leviticus_lied || PG || (declining Pete/Ashlee marriage)

Summary: Pete goes on vacation and maybe sort of flips his shit a little.

Tina taps her shoe and Pete can hear the souls of the innocent crunch beneath it. “Your flight leaves at three. I called a cab. Go downstairs.” She does that all the time, short declarative sentences that leave no room for argument.

“Uh,” Pete says, and Patrick laughs more cleanly.

“Have fun, Pete.”

Pete says, “I, uh. Yeah. Thanks. Love you.”

I Hope When You Think of Me
By leviticus_lied || PG-13 || (sequel to Hand In Unlovable Hand)

Summary: Pete is sort of monumentally unprepared for a divorce.

At eight pm, Pete wakes up from an abrupt, strings-cut kind of nap and can’t stand the thought of texting about what he’s thinking, possibly ever again. It seems like bailing out the Titanic with a thimble. Pete may or may not be the chick on the door in this metaphor, if the frozen dude is his marriage. Or his true love. Or both.

Not Drunk
By gibson_fic || PG || 1,075 words || (gen)

He's a total workaholic, and he's happy. Which does not explain why he bought a six-pack of girly Smirnoff drinks and drank three of them. The only saving grace is that he's alone because, oh my god, they would never stop making fun of him for being drunk on three girly drinks. Which Patrick wants to state, for the record, is totally not fair because (a.) he is not drunk, okay? and (b.) he hardly ever drinks, so if he was drunk that would still be okay, except for how he's not. He might be a little tipsy; he's definitely not-sober, but he's not drunk.

Sugar Plums
By coricomile || PG-13 || (some Patrick/Gabe)

The thing is, Pete could totally love him. Is a little in love with him, actually. But Patrick is sixteen, and Pete is not. So, Pete tucks Patrick into his 'do not touch' file and pretends it doesn't suck leaning away from Patrick's touches, pretends he doesn't notice the long looks from across the basement.

Just To Know You're Alive
By seimaisin || NC-17 || ~24,000 words 
 || (sort of-vampire au)

Patrick turned around to face Pete, and Pete started talking. "You can disappear into thin air. You can get into someone's head and make them do things. You rarely leave your basement. And, apparently, unless someone slipped acid into my drink tonight, you drink blood." Pete stopped in front of Patrick, who wore an expression like a caged animal. "Are you a motherfucking vampire?"

Pete watched Patrick swallow. "There's no such thing as vampires," he finally answered, his voice shaky.

For Every Grain of Sand
By citrus_vanille || PG-13 || 2,215 words || (in the I've Seen 'em on the TV, the Movie Show... 'verse)

Summary: In which Patrick is pissed about Pete overdosing, and there is finally a wedding ring.

“I didn’t want you to worry,” Pete says, soft, hovering just out of reach, body so tensely still he’s almost vibrating. “I was dealing with it – I was – and then I wasn’t and I didn’t know what to do, but you put up with so much and I didn’t want you to have to deal with –”

And Patrick just cannot listen to that. “I am your goddamned husband, Pete,” he hisses, clenches his hands tight to keep them from shaking. “And maybe no one else gives a fuck, but I do. I fucking do. So excuse me if I care what happens to you, and excuse me if I don’t want to find out from our fucking manager that you’re in the hospital for attempted suicide.”

Do as I say, not as I do.
By awkwardgturtle || PG-13 || 2,215 words

Summary: Patrick gets his first kiss. Pete does not approve.

“I’m saving you from some sleazy dickhead who probably lives with his mom!”

Patrick snorted. “In other words, you?”

Pete’s lip twitched. He had a good point.

Starless City
By  cityfibers || G || 650 words || (spirited away AU)

Summary: It's hard to stay for someone who doesn't want to leave.

Patrick is young and maybe not stupid, but definitely unaware that he should value what he has, should be grateful for numbness where there can be happiness and hurt. He hasn’t had the chance like Pete has to feel and want something so badly he’d tear himself up to get it, and when he tells him this, Patrick almost seems to crumple, backing away and ignoring him until Pete can coax him to laugh or talk to him again. He doesn’t usually stay angry at Pete; Patrick never leaves him for long.

Pete thinks he can live like this forever.

Singing 'Nobody Will Ever Remember Me'
By pinkichan || R

When Pete is ten he gets rid of all his imaginary friends. He sits under the monkey bars in his backyard with his eyes closed and his hands in the grass and he wishes them away.

The real thing (locked)
By megyal || NC-17/Mature || ~1,400 words

"Let me get this straight," he says in a low voice. "You hate real dicks--"

Pete shudders dramatically, lounging around on the bed that Patrick had claimed for his own in their hotel room. "Have you ever seen a real dick? Wrinkly."

"I have one," Patrick deadpans. "I'm kind of well acquainted with the appearance of the skin on a penis, thanks. But, uh, let's continue with the issue right now?" At Pete's magnanimous twirling gesture with one hand, Patrick takes a quick breath and goes on. "You hate real dicks, but you have no problem with fake ones."

I'd Like to Make Myself Believe
By ninasfic

Summary: based on Fireflies by Owl City.

Patrick takes him back to the doctor, Patrick shouts and swears, he makes the doctor listen. Pete has never seen Patrick really angry, not like this, but he’s unfocused. He’s unbalanced and off kilter and wrong. He wonders if he’s died, if he’s dreaming all this in his last few minutes between earth and…whatever happens after.

I'd like to make myself believe

No More Than Three Feet Apart (dead link)
By coricomile || PG-13 || (the labyrinth au)

“I’d wish for you to live forever,” Patrick said, bending to press his lips to Pete’s forehead. “The goblin king can give me that.”

How the Sidekick Pictures Could've Been Worse, or The Only Fic I Ever Considered Using the Line "Will Having Sex With You Be Like Shoving an Icicle Up My Ass?" In
By cityfibers || PG-13
 || (vampire au)

Summary: Pete's a vampire who sparkles in the sunlight! What? Twilight? What's that?

Patrick had always known Pete wasn't exactly normal, what with the never eating thing and the melodramatically cryptic shit he was so fond of. Plus, he was pretty sure Pete had taken to stalking him ever since he'd tentatively agreed to join Fall Out Boy, and that was just not cool. He totally wasn't flattered at all. Really. Instead, he kept looking forward to expecting to wake up in the middle of the night to find Pete sitting in a corner just like, staring at him, or breathing heavily with his face pressed against the window or something.

If It Makes You Less Sad (dead link)
By coricomile || PG-13

It's not that Patrick doesn't trust Pete- not really, even though he's go nearly a decade of reasons not to- but more that. Well. He knows Pete, and that's enough for him to know that this little trip to Michigan can go nowhere good.

Two-Sided Coin: Patrick
By ficsoreal || NC 17 || 12,540 words || (Two-Sided Coin: Pete)

Summary: Complete AU set in a society where status is shown by the number of tattoos a person possesses. Heirs to property get their first tattoos at puberty. It's completely ridiculous and self indulgent with Coming Out Balls, Courting Rituals, Gentlemen's Clubs, Brothels.

"What am I supposed to do here?"

Pete frowns slightly. "Whatever you want."

That. That is not helpful. Patrick tries again. "Am I, am I supposed to keep the house? Oversee the staff?"

"No." Pete shakes his head. "I have people for that." He stuffs his fork into his mouth.

"What's my purpose then?" Patrick hates floundering without direction.

Pete's brown eyes are clear and serious when he says, "To love me."

How I Met My Bassist
By violentfires || R || 5,626 words || (Patrick/Gerard, Patrick/Greta (implied), Patrick/Vicky)

Summary: An AU in which Patrick sort of sleeps his way through the scene until finding a place where he fits.

Naturally then, he was instantly smitten with Victoria, but it had much more to do with her shy smile and quirky sense of humor than her musical contribution. She was definitely good with her instrument and she quickly picked up the songs they’d been working on, adding her own flourishes as she swayed, her delicate fingers dancing over the keys slung low against her hip. He shook her hand to say goodbye after she packed up, grinning even after the door closed behind her.

“So yeah, you were totally right,” Gerard remarked after a moment of quiet. “The sound is all wrong, it doesn’t really work.”

a madness shared by many (locked)
By megyal || PG/Mild || ~2,800 words || (with Andy/Matt)

It wasn't that he was bad at business management; he was actually pretty good at it, at grasping the concepts and applying them quickly, at least in those sheltered scholarly practicals; but, and he had actually said this to Pete in a rare moment of tired desperation: "Just because you're good at something, doesn't mean you actually like it."

"Dude, I can dig it," Pete had replied in an equally rare moment of sagacity and one thing that Patrick actually adored about Pete is that when he said, I can dig it, it (whatever 'it' happened to be) was dug.

petewentz @ stumpalicious
By svmadelyn || PG || 1,300 words

Summary: Pete and Patrick, at the end of the world.

"Leave it to you to *like* the apocalypse," Patrick mutters. "It's like all that black nail polish you wore is suddenly justified."

Pete's eyes darken. "Fuck whoever stole the last OPI. And shh," he says. "I'm posting to Twitter." He bites his lip a little -- more like a full on gnaw, really -- and continues typing frantically.

"Twitter's probably not even up anymore!" Patrick protests.

"It could get through. These could be the only written records of this time, Patrick."

don't think that these feelings are gonna leave
By allegedlykyle || NC-17 || ~4,800 words

Prompt: Pete's New Year Resolution is not to hit on any minors. He does good on that until he meets bb!Patrick at a show.

Gabe scowls terribly as he follows Pete in; he made a bet with Joe the very first day of the year that Pete wouldn't last a fortnight, and tonight's the last one in Gabe's window before he owes Joe a year's supply of weed. He's muttering darkly another one of those cute little Aesop's morals, something like pride cometh before a fall but Pete's riding happy on the moral high of a sustained effort, and ignores him in favour of returning to his stakeout.

Like You'll Never Let Me Go (locked)
By likeasugarcube || NC-17 || 1,425 words || (always-a-girl)

They kicked off the tour with a hometown show and Pete's still sore from last night. She curls up next to Trish in bed and whines, "Everything hurts."

"That's what you get for throwing yourself into the crowd like that, dumbass." Pete scoffs, she was looking for some sympathy not stupid logic.

Promises From Me To You
By coricomile || NC-17 || 1,328 words

Summary: The one where Pete talks Patrick into trying fisting.

The first time Pete says anything about it, they're lying in bed, slick sides and stomachs and chests pressed together, still catching their breaths. Pete's mouth is pressed to Patrick's chest, smearing the sweat as he whispers into his skin. Patrick's hand goes still in Pete's hair, his fingers locking up.

"I want you to fist me," Pete says, voice low and still raw from sucking dick. Patrick feels something like terror settle low in his stomach.

A Right Turn Gone Wrong
By likeasugarcube || NC-17 || 1,952 words

Summary: Pete thought it was one of his more brilliant pranks. Unfortunately, payback's a bitch.

"A week, Joe! A week!"

"Dude. You need to stop talking. Like right now. The less I know about your sex life the better, okay?"

Close Encounters of the Unexpected Kind
By scribblinlenore || NC-17 || 4,600 words

Summary: Patrick is a real-life Clark Kent, whose superpower is being adorable. When he goes through pon farr , it's Pete to the rescue.

He comes closer, and Patrick catches his scent, fresh sweat and layered on grime (because Pete's motto is: "hygiene is for pussies") and the reek of stage clothes that haven't been washed since…well, ever. The scent slams into Patrick, and the heat surges in him again, desperate and throbbing, a million times more intense than it was out on the stage, singing through his body, Pete, Pete, Pete. Sweat breaks out on his forehead and trickles down his back. He's hard in an instant. And, seriously, what the fuck? If he got off on Pete-stink, he'd be the horniest, most miserable person on Earth. So the fact that he's getting off on it now can really only mean…

Oh, fuck.

the genius next door
By looksascream || NC-17 || (Patrick/Frank)

Summary: Patrick moves to the middle of nowhere to escape his problems. it's never that easy. loosely based on, but fully inspired by, the Regina Spektor song of the same name.

"I'm serious, Pete," Patrick nudges the phone with his shoulder a bit, holding it more firmly to his ear, "Ron Jeremy's collective works were filmed entirely within my apartment. And the hallway. He's probably still in here, somewhere."

Pete howls on the other end. "You're full of shit, Stump. And anyway, that's what you get for moving to East Bumfuck Nowhere."

Sticking to Naugahyde Seats
By romanticalgirl || R

Prompt: van days

Patrick has no idea what state they’re in, much less what city they’re going to. Andy’s driving, and he can hear the low whine of heavy metal guitars from where he’s sitting in the back of the van, a large wet stain spreading on the thigh of his jeans where Pete’s sleeping and drooling. It’s cold outside and the van is old and has a shitty heating system, so Pete’s saliva is like a glacier growing across Patrick’s lap. He shoves Pete slightly, but Pete just grumbles and wraps his arms around Patrick’s leg at the knee, snuggling closer.

“It’s like having a pet monkey.”

We Are Nowhere And It's Now
By coricomile || NC-17

Pete unlocked his front door with the boy pressed up against it, thighs slipping down Pete's sides. The boy snuffled in his sleep and slapped weakly at Pete's shoulder, face scrunching up. Bad dream. Pete soothed a hand over his damp forehead, brushing his bangs away, and let himself finally look at what might have been his best steal ever.

there's distance between us
By megyal || NC-17

"Um. Like, kiss you. I mean. I like that, you know? I like the noise you make when I lick your ear...or how your fingers keep looking for my tats...Patrick, you there?" Because the line had taken on an eerily hushed quality.

"Yeah?" Patrick cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'm. I'm here."

"This feels funny," Pete murmured and Patrick made a snort of disagreement.

"No...ok, yeah. But...new rule, right? Feels funny, keep doing it."

there's distance between us
By strobelighted || NC-17

Prompt: small towns

"You've been working all day, and we finally have a rest stop that's longer than fifteen minutes and you want to stay cooped up in here?"

"Yes," Patrick said, and turned back to his computer.

Gilligan Had Nothing On This
By scribblinlenore || Teen audiences and up || 1000 words

Summary: Shipwrecked!

Pete's dead.

That thought works its way numbly through Patrick's brain. Oh God, Pete. He pulls himself to his feet, stumbles, falls to the sand, crawls on his knees past bits of boat debris. (It's just a three-hour tour, Trick. We'll be back in plenty of time for the show.) Famous last words.

Never Wanted to Dance
By coricomile || NC-17 || (dance dance AU)


"...No?" Pete leans in, eyes narrowed, slicked back hair going spikey around his face. "Martin, man, did you hit your head when you fell?" One hand lifts to touch Patrick's jaw, but Patrick smacks it down irriatbly.

"Pete, not funny. Where's the van?" Patrick's stomach twists when Pete steps closer.

Sticking to Naugahyde Seats
By romanticalgirl || R

Prompt: van days

Patrick has no idea what state they’re in, much less what city they’re going to. Andy’s driving, and he can hear the low whine of heavy metal guitars from where he’s sitting in the back of the van, a large wet stain spreading on the thigh of his jeans where Pete’s sleeping and drooling. It’s cold outside and the van is old and has a shitty heating system, so Pete’s saliva is like a glacier growing across Patrick’s lap. He shoves Pete slightly, but Pete just grumbles and wraps his arms around Patrick’s leg at the knee, snuggling closer.

“It’s like having a pet monkey.”

(I've Loved) Everything About You That Hurts (locked)
By reni_days || G || 1,600 words

No matter what happens with the band, there are parts of Patrick that will always belong to Pete.

And the thing is, there are parts of Pete that will always belong to Patrick, too.

you're perfect, yes, it's true (go on and ring my neck)
By swear_jar || 4,500

"Pete?" a warm whisper over the shell of his ear. "Pete?" Patrick's voice is the best aural he's had in weeks, he smiles at his sleeplessly addled stupid pun. He smells like mouldy cupcakes and the near-sentient socks that live under the van's seats. "Pete, get your hand off my twinkie."

"Patrick, you're a big boy now, you can say what you mean," Pete turns his head and mumbles around a mouthful of sugar and sleep-loss. In the faint yellow night-time of the van he watches a bit of cream hit Patrick right at the corner of his should-be-illegal mouth (oh wait, it is in this state).

Thin Line Between (locked)
By megyal || NC-17 || ~1,800 words || (violence)

"Golden ticket," Pete swears, all the time, and it's true. Stump IS the golden ticket, the Boy in Fall Out Boy and Pete will always be thankful to the powers that be, that he took a chance on Patrick, no matter how weird their first meeting was.

But oh man, how Patrick annoys the shit out him.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3: anon!fic | part 3: comment!fic | part 4: bbbpart 5 | part 6 |  part 7 | beam me up, scotty

part seven

Truman Show 'Verse 
By awkwardgturtle || E|| 36,550 words

Summary: Pete lives a perfect life with a perfect house, a perfect husband and a perfect job, but what he doesn't know is that his whole life is actually a beloved TV show about him. It's only when he starts to notice something's wrong that his whole life comes crashing down.


“They really should be more careful,” Brendon is saying. “Can you imagine what could have happened if Patrick hadn’t improvised like a champ? The whole thing could have been— Oh, hey, Pete! You’re early.” The intern slams down the phone without saying goodbye. “Did you see the eclipse this morning? Full solar! Wild, right?”

“Right,” Pete deadpans. “Were you just talking about my husband?”

Summary: Patrick's short and gay and has a dorky haircut. Pete has to come to his defense sometimes.

“What are you doing?” he asked peevishly, still managing to look angry and almost menacing while he cried. He shoved weakly at Pete’s chest. “Put me down; I can walk.”

“Obviously not,” Pete scoffed, not even slightly disrupted by his struggles.

Don't Approve a Single Word
By tabula-x-rasa || T || 9,480 words || 
(Pete/Ryan, others mentioned)

Summary: When Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III is caught in flagrante delicto with the boy next door, he's cut off from his family and inheritance. Left to wander the streets of London and shift for himself as best he can, he follows a boy with a beautiful voice onto a ship and out to sea. 

"There's no need for false modesty. Didn't I just run several for several streets to tell you how beautifully you sing? Do you perform anywhere?"

"I— perform? Of course not. I'm just a sailor."

"Then it's fate," Peter murmured.

"I beg your pardon?"

Straight On 'Til Morning
By jenish || G || 1,310 words

Pete often says he could write the book on Patrick.

(What Patrick doesn't know is, it's a work in progress and he keeps it under his pillow.)

It would be filled with facts, he says, such as number 429: The light under Patrick's chin in the studio is approximately three times as perfect as the sky at seven thirty on a morning in April.

Nothing to Confess
By jjtaylor || Adult || (killjoy AU)

He bites his tongue to stop from saying something that he knows will get him a look, maybe even a sad one, but the truth is, he's imagined a hundred futures playing out in front of him, and all of them have had Patrick, here with him, in his motorcycle gang, in the desert, a whispered name away.

the world owes us nothing
By silverakira || PG-13 || 1.392 words

"You know that Twinkies aren't actually indestructible, right?" Patrick says, amused.

"Rain on my parade why don't you, Stump," Pete says, grinning. "Maybe I just like them."

Patrick smiles, and doesn't point out the fact that Pete hates Twinkies.

Just Forget the World
By finkpishnets || Teen and up || 3,599 words (high school au)

Summary: The only thing Pete really loves about high school is soccer.

“There’s this guy, Patrick, in your grade? I was wondering if you knew him,” Pete says and hopes that Spencer doesn’t think he’s a freak.

“Patrick Stump?” Spencer says, looking thoughtful. “Drummer?”

“Yeah,” Pete says. “I forgot, all you drummers seem to know each other.”

“There’s a secret club,” Spencer says. “We have mixers.”

Sugar Daddy (We're Goin' Down) (
By jedusaur || M || 4,252 words || (pretend dating)

Another long silence, then: "Do you have a job?"

"Nope. I live with my parents."

"We have so much in common," Patrick says sweetly, sliding an arm around Pete's shoulders.

The Substitute Boyfriend (
By melusina || M || 4,252 words || (pretend dating)

Summary: When you're a single college student, a fake boyfriend can come in handy. Pete's happy to play the part for Patrick and Patrick's glad to return the favor. It works out great, except that sometimes it's hard to remember they're just pretending.

Patrick blinks at Pete, carefully closes his mouth and says hesitantly, “So, um, there’s something you should know. . .Uh, I, um. . .see, my mom was bugging me about dating and I wanted to get her off my back, so I sort of. . .” Patrick pauses and then blurts out, “Told-her-you-were-my-boyfriend.” He sucks in a breath and stares expectantly at Pete.

“You what now?”

I wished for you your whole life

By lazenby || R || (vampire au)

Summary: It's becoming clear to Pete that this whole 'not killing your best friend' thing is harder than it probably should be.

It's night when Pete gets up again. There's a fresh glass of Patrick's foul fake blood concoction sitting just outside of Pete's box. He drinks it down with a grimace on his face, trying his hardest to not think about what Patrick looked like while he was sleeping. He tries not to remember how defenseless Patrick looked. His head is ringing, though, with the words of the vampire he killed a few days ago. I bet he tastes so sweet. I bet he tastes so sweet. I bet he tastes so sweet....

Inch of Skin
By the_ragnarok || Teen and up || 
14,406 words

In his interviews, Pete Wentz likes to joke about the soulmark. He went on a talk show once with his right wrist bared to show a temporary Care Bear tattoo. There was kind of a media uproar about it, which is the only reason Patrick knows this—he doesn't even follow media for musicians he likes. He's not going to do it for a pop-punk teen heartthrob who sold his soul to MTV.

The Pros and Cons of Skiing
By fro_baby || M || 
27,236 words

Summary: the one where Pete and Patrick go skiing and fall in love.

“You know that really hot guy from the chairlift?”

“Oh my god,” Joe groans, dropping his head into his gloved hands. “You didn’t.”

“He’s a ski instructor, and I-” Pete shrugs again. “I mean, he fucking offered to teach me. For free. What was I supposed to say?”

Start With Something Smaller
By abriata || T || 
5,318 words

Summary: author of book gets seated next to someone reading their book and making entertaining faces at each scene au


Pete laughs and goes for the obvious. "You don't like the main character."

"I  can't believe anyone could!" Patrick says, and he leans into Pete unconsciously. "He's an asshole."

This Seed Burst and Grown
By sena || E || 
11,476 words

Summary: Nobody's in a band, but Pete and Patrick meet in the Chicago music scene, anyway. Patrick's sixteen and mostly innocent and kind of confused and Pete's older and cooler and fucked up in ways that just make Patrick like him more.

Patrick pretends they're on a date. He pretends that they've been on tons of dates before so they're just relaxed and casual with each other. He pretends that they both go to DePaul and they've got their own apartment and that they're thinking about getting a cat even though it says they're not allowed to have pets on the lease.

He knows it's a weird thing to do. He wonders how Pete would react if he ever found out.

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