ook, son, I know this is hard for you to bear but they can't make you into a girl. It's a physical impossibility..."

So was Dad's reaction on my 17th Birthday after I finally blurted out to my shocked parents that I desperately longed to be a girl. His words, uttered with sympathy but no hope of consoling me as they observed the tears streaming down my cheeks, brought only more howls as I buried my face in my hands.

"No...no...you don't understand...this book says you can...they can perform operations...it says so..."

Then came the most painful words of all, now delivered with more lucidity.

"No No, they can only cut it off, that's all they can do for you..."

Thunderstruck, my moans turned to outright shrieks of hysteria for I could not countenance the next fifty years trapped in a role I did not relate to, nor had I ever done. Who on earth was going to love me for a start, feeling like I did? Without looking up I cried out that if I could not be a girl then I longed only to be dead, that suicide was now the only way...

That was forty years ago. It might have been last month - the emotion of that fateful day is still deeply ingrained into my soul. My parents are long gone now and I eventually did undergo sex reassignment surgery in 1995. But unfavourable circumstances over the years since have finally brought me to the grim realisation that, though put crudely, Dad was right in his assertion of so long ago. I will never escape from the male body which Nature imposed on me at birth, at least not while I breathe.

If, dear visitor, you wish to learn how I found 'enlightenment' at the end of my painful journey of self-discovery, please click on the following links -

Subpages (1): 1. Beginnings