ODD THINGS

Things you come across living in Ireland

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Irish weather:

40 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People inIreland sunbathe.

35 degrees - Italian cars won't start.
People in Ireland drive with the windows down.

20 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Ireland throw on a T-shirt.

15 degrees - Californians begin to evacuate the state.

People in Ireland go swimming in the sea.

0 degrees - New York landlords turn the heat on.
People in Ireland have a last barby before it gets cold.

-10 degrees - People in Miami are extinct.
People in Ireland lick flagpoles.

-20 degrees - Californians all now live in Mexico .
People in Ireland throw on a light jacket.

-100 degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Ireland wear a vest and pull down their ear flaps.

-297 degrees - Microbial life starts to grind to a halt. Irish cows
complain of farmers with cold hands.

-460 degrees - ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Ireland start saying "It's a bitin cold ...? "

-500 degrees - Hell freezes over.
Irish people support England in the World Cup

 

When wanting to open a bankaccount in Ireland

You will need:
- A valid ID (passport, or a policeman signing that you are who you say you are).
- A PRSI-number.
- A bill from ESB (the electricity company) or Eircom (the telephonecompany) stating your name and address of residence.

What they do not tell you is:
- A policeman will not sign a paper that you are who you say you are when you do not have an address of residence or a job.
- You cannot get a PRSI-number if you do not have a job.
- You will not be paid for your job if you do not have a bankaccount.
- You cannot get an address of residence if you do not have a job and PRSI-number, as a landlord will not rent anything to you. Besides, without a bankaccount he will not rent anything to you anyway, because where does the rentmoney come from?
- You will never get a bill from ESB or Eircom on your address of residence because the bills go to your landlord anyway. If you do manage to get ESB or Eircom to bill to you, they can't if you don't have a bankaccount because they then do not know whom to bill it from.

The chicken or the egg...???

 

When needing a general practitioner in Ireland

You first need to pay an amount of around 50 euro to the reception desk to be able to see anyone. Then you wait until the GP has time for you, and go into his office. Do not expect any PC or any other sign of modernness, by the way.
When at his desk, whatever the problem may be, the GP will decide you have a 'Chest-Infection' and will prescribe you about 4 different types of medication, like anti-biotics and steroids.
When you then arrive at whatever pharmacy you go to, be prepared to fork out another 200 euro's for the prescribed medication, and no further information provided on how to use the medication.

 

How does Ireland know how many people are living in the country?

Once every five years a person comes by your house and gives you a 'census' form. This year we all had to fill in this form on 23 April 2006 at 24.00 hours EXACTLY. You had to fill in who are the residents of the house, who lives there, who should be there, and who is in your house on that exact time.
If you look at it from a different angle this means: If you happen to walk on the street at 24.00 o'clock and are not the main resident of a house, you will not be counted!!

Have they never heard of Technology?

 

Health Insurance

Would Ireland be the only country in Europe where the health insurance is free, but for this you will only receive medical care when there are doctors on duty and they have nothing better to do when you arrive? In order to actually get medical care when you need it  (which is by the way very modest comparing to countries on the European mainland) you simply have to pay for insurance. But then still you might have to wait up to two years for an operation.

 

Elections in the Republic of Ireland

The electoral system could be open to voter fraud if the register is not properly updated before the next general election, the Taoiseach told the Dail last night. A total of 17.000 people eligible to vote in the Dublin South-East constituency are not registered, it emerged this week. And a further 15.000 who have died or moved from the area are still on the register. Bertie Ahern said:"I am afraid it will have to be a Shank's mare exercise, which is the only way we will get a good register. We will need to take challenge this year".