Opening Section



The Return of Kings and Queens

Front Painting: Momina Qadir

Back: Awais Aftab




Message from the Editor in Chief

I used to believe that it's a predictable, hackneyed world to live in. That people love cliches so much,there are so few surprises left for me. Sometimes, I'd just close my eyes and let my mind wander, just to count the commonplace, old chestnut maxims: a mother spreads jam for her son's lunch; corn ripens on the stalk; a painter deepens his red; a cashier pours new coins into an outstretched hand; Kate Winslet disrobes in a movie;  a rainbow forms; and fades. A year starts. And ends.

It made me wish, abstracts were real and time, a lie. It made me wonder, could a moment, one moment, expand to hold everything? And deny time itself?

And you know what, it happened to me this October, at our annual dinner. The food was good,and there was enough for all. People talked, nourishing one another with generous smiles and compliments. Some time during the course of that live ballad in the background, somewhere in the landscape of our Library Hall, a moment enfolded my life within its dream. Like a swollen tide embracing a moss covered rock.

For all the knowledge and emancipation and friends and that one moment, I am and always will be indebted to KE.

 

Saad Javed

Editor-in-Chief

Kemcol 2010



Editorial: Atlas Shrugged

There was a time when I thought about what a perfect society should be like; I still do sometimes. Eventually, there were two painful realizations: First, there probably isn't such a thing as a perfect society, even in theory. Second, even if there is, I don't live in one.

For years I kept thinking over the wrong question, seeking the non-existent Utopia... because it was the easy thing to do. Just hide away from the world and work out your own version of a Republic. Convenient. Except you can't hide forever. Sooner or later, no matter how individualistic you may be in ideology, you realize that there are lives attached to you. Sticky organic lives, which you can't tear apart without bleeding yourself. I was suddenly thrown into the whole mess unprepared. What is a guy, whose head is full of potential blueprints for a perfect society, supposed to do when he is forced to live in an imperfect society?

Suddenly all those 'lesser mortals' appeared more well-adjusted to live in this world, because they had never asked the question "What is Utopia?" They had never sought a higher world, and had learned to live in this one. I had sought a higher world, and I learned to live in none. "How should one live in an imperfect society?" This is the question that matters. How should you compromise between what you think is right and what the society expects you to do? What should you do when you don't even know what's right? What values to keep, what values to sacrifice? Perhaps this requires what we call 'sense of judgment', 'wisdom'. And wisdom cannot be codified and systematized.

This year has been a time of constant war for me: battles with society, with fate, with the indifferent randomness of existence. And amidst all this, here I am, the English Editor of Kemcol. There is a long list of people to whom I am dearly indebted in the fruition of this honorable task: Saad Javed, my most treasured friend, for keeping me sane and blessing me with so much; I wouldn’t be what I am without you. Beenish Iqbal, for being so wonderful and sincere, and being ever-ready to go out of her way to help me. Faiza Khalid, for all the magic and beauty she brought to the Kemcol English section through her art, and for bearing my editorial snobbery with grace. Fatima A. Athar, for being the intellectual companion I always needed. Mushal Noor, for her honest and helpful critiques of Kemcol features.  

Tokens of gratitude to: My sub-editors Sabahat Ahmed and Annum Faisal Khan for their invaluable assistance. Faiza Hameed, for all her excellent ideas, and for being someone I could rely on to do the assigned job. Sidrah Latif, for her hard work and eagerness to help. Abdul Rehman, for his unfailing dedication and man-power, and Fatima Akbar Shah for her immense enthusiasm.

Mehroo Bakhtawar, for her dazzling photo-editing skills, employed in turning the English editorial team into vampires. All the artists who made separators, Faiza Khalid, Zunaira Shaukat, Momina Qadir, Madeeha Daud and Mushal Noor for making such breathtakingly beautiful pieces. I cannot thank you enough. Also, the young sketch-maker Sumra Javed and the seasoned Faiza Khalid for adorning the poetry section with their sublime sketches. Jawed Iqbal, the famous cartoonist, for so graciously making the caricatures of the English team. Here, I would also like to thank the whole team of KE English Literary Society for their efforts in reviving the club, particularly Suhaib Haider, who spent considerable time and energy in helping me with the Intercollegiate Mastermind Quiz Competition. My gratitude also to Anum Amin for her consultations in the art department.

We cannot suddenly radically transform a society; nor can we create a society out of nothing. You have to work with what you have got, and what you have got is a small but significant sphere of influence. Your very own micro-cosmos: that tiny little world where you can make your own decisions, where you can speak your mind, where you can be yourself. This could be just you and your best friend. This could be your Facebook life. This could be your blog. Find your micro-cosmos. Use it to start a ripple of change. You cannot build a perfect society, but you can try to build your life, whatever you can, as much as you can. Live. It may be the bravest thing you would ever do. Be yourself because a life is more convincing than an argument.

 

Awais Aftab

awaisaftab@gmail.com

Editor English 2010


ESSENTIAL STORIES

KE 2010 – IN BRIEF


150th Year Celebrations

Each and every event’s banner had a bit of something extra this year: a beautiful winged logo celebrating the 150th anniversary of KE. In commemoration, not only all societies had their major events, but there were academic conferences and research seminars in abundance.

First and Last Saturday Off

24th April 2010, the first and last Saturday that the students of KE and doctors of Mayo got off, before – like all things fun in life—they were robbed of it.

Punjabi Speeches in KEDS Declamation

To the great appeasement of the audience, the Debating Society featured Punjabi speeches this year in their Interclass Declamation, taking humor to a whole new level.

Graffiti Exchange in KE

Desk-graffiti comes as second nature to every Kemcolian. One of these ambitious graffitists decided to go big in the expression of their well-wishes, and as a result, one fine morning, “happy birthday” sprang up on college walls and walkways. It was soon followed by the flattered spray-painted response of the receiver-of-affections “it’s okay dear”. Forgiveness well-earned.

KAPS Rebellion

Who knew that the worst assault on KAPS would come not from without but from within? The young spoiled princes of fourth year began squabbling over the presidential crown even before the King had ‘passed away’, turning the society into a Mughal battlefield. The rebellion has boiled down to a single group of boys, who are suspicious of the lingering influence of KAPS’ Grand-Daddy ex-President on the society.

The Kemonsterz Skit (Final Year Class Function)

The Kemonsterz, desperate to do something—anything!—at the Final Year Class Function boldly marched on to where no one had dared before: they presented a gaudy show full of innuendos and X-rated humor that left half of the audience shocked with moral horror and the other half in tumultuous cheers.

Miscreants being kicked out of Debating Competition

During the Intercollegiate Debating Competition 2010, a rogue group of students in the back seats of the auditorium decided to play it rough, but with their loud and bawdy attempts at sarcasm. Just when it seemed that they were about to get out of control, they were kicked out of the hall on the stern command of the KEDS President.

First Ever Intercollegiate Quiz Competition

For the first time in history of KE, a multimedia quiz was organized on the intercollegiate level by the English Literary Society. It was greatly appreciated by Kemcolians and visitors alike as being informative and entertaining, except for the Vice Chancellor, who came very late and missed all the fun.

First Ever Animated Video at KAPS Video Competition

The Silver Lining by Mehroo Bakhtawar was the first ever animated video to participate in a KAPS competition, and given the hard work and creativity put into it, it deservedly won the first prize.

Launching of KELLOGS

The official student blog of Kemcolians, KELLOGS (http://kemkellogs.blogspot.com) was launched by the English Literary Society this year, exposing the students to this unique cyberspace experience… and to some much needed intellectual controversies.

Five Class Functions

All Five Years of MBBS had a class function this year, an event as rare as the alignment of the planets of our solar system!

No Funfair

On the offside, Kemcolians had no Fun Fair this year, apparently because of security reasons, though people did suspect something fishy. The religious lot in KE rejoiced in delight, since they consider the fun fair as nothing short of Satan’s playground.

Toppers of Second Year got Engaged to Each Other!

Ok, now seriously, has this ever happened at KE before? Way to go, kids! You truly are way ahead of us.

Madam Attiya could not win Musical Chair

The biggest upset of Sports Day; it was the toppling of a long-standing tradition. The musical chair has to be unfair and Madam Attiya has to win, we all thought these were the rules, weren’t they?

Servant quarters were razed to the ground, so that boys could have a better look at girl’s hostel

Ah, well, what can we say? Boys will be boys.

Bake Sale for Flood Relief

Even though the annual Bake Sale had already taken place, SPWS and Kemcolians in their spirit of generosity organized another extra successful Bake Sale, the earnings of which went to the victims of the flood that had plagued the country.

KAPS got permission to play Music

Against all odds, KAPS got permission to play music during the video competition, with the manageable restriction of playing no Indian songs. The singers made much use of it to win the hearts of the crowd… though the Rock Star of KE did manage to sneak in a Kishore track.

Naseem Hameed participates in Sports Day Race

Naseem Hameed, the fastest woman in South Asia, participated in one of the races with Kemcolian girls on Sports Day. She won, of course, but from what we saw, our girls weren’t that far behind either.

The Special Days

There were several special “days” celebrated this year. Anti-Valentine’s Day and Mis-Match Day by First Year. (pseudo-talibans and jokers, nice combination!) Mis-Match Day again and Angels and Demons Day by Second Year. Pind Day, Formal Day, Rock Star Day and Floral Day by Third Year. (Hallmark is so proud of you all!) 



Influence in KE, like in rest of the world, is compartmentalized. Any ‘most influential’ list will have deficiencies that are even theoretically impossible to over-come. Yet, from Michael Hart to Time Magazine, such lists are made and continue to capture the interest of the masses. So, for this year’s Kemcol, we attempt to discover the Twenty Most Influential Kemcolians of 2010. Influence remains an ambiguous term to define and even harder to gauge. It can cover anything from fame and power to genuine accomplishment. Our list takes all these factors into account. Some clarification though, however: Influence doesn’t mean ‘greatness’; the most influential may also be the most notorious. Being influential may also have nothing to do with your talent and competence, if you are lucky enough to be in a position of power, such as a society president. This list was generated after conducting a short student survey, but we neither claim it to be objective nor immaculate. With this disclaimer, we present to you, in no particular order, the not-so-perfect list of the people who have had an impact on the way things are.

Saad Javed (Final Year): The man needs no introduction. From his heart-warming wordsmanship and wisecrack humor to his pelvic thrusts, the creative genius of the Editor-in-Chief of Kemcol and General Secretary of English Literary Society has left people both in awe and shock, sometimes simultaneously.

Saud Dhilon (Final Year): The Kemcolian who comes closest to being a celebrity rock star in KE is Saud Dhilon. His guitar and voice have earned him a huge fan following: If making half the girls in KE fall in love with you not influence, then we don’t know what influence is!

Furqan Shirazi (Final Year): Furqan completed his tenure of SPWS with a budget of 2.2 million, the largest ever in the history of any KE society. With projects like OPD Lab, Research Wing and the pioneer organizing of the Cardiac First Responder Course, (and getting the permission for Final Year Class Function!) Furqan ranks way up high in terms of concrete impact.

Nouman Akbar (Final Year): Nouman proved his KAPS Presidential abilities against all skepticism, running a society that had inherited political flaws. He got things done and gave Kemcolians one of the finest events of the year: the short video and music competition.

Awais Aftab (Final Year): The English Literary Society would have died this year, were it not for Awais Aftab and Saad Javed, who revitalized it to functionality. 2010 saw a lot of firsts under his Presidentship: Launching of the student Kemcolian blog (KELLOGS), creation of KELS Book Club, Intercollegiate Multimedia Quiz. Being the Kemcol English Editor also gives the philosophical, pensive soul bonus points of influence.

Faiza Khalid (Final Year): The Lady President of KAPS is the energy behind a lot of what the society has managed to achieve this year, especially in the arts department: Sports Day, Video Competition, Sketching Workshop and the grand finale, the Art Exhibition. Furthermore, she is the first ever Art Editor of Kemcol.

Hamza Hashmi (Final Year): As President IFMSA, Hamza has succeeded in organizing a lot of things: Maternal Child Heath Care Project, BLS training, career counseling, No Tobacco Day seminar, you name it. There is no doubting the sway.

Sheikh Bilal (Final Year): Sheikh Sahib made a name for himself in parliamentary debates, and showed his integrity of character in the background of KEDS politicization. However, his influence has been more with regard to his involvement in religious politics and his right-wing stance.

Usman Khalid (Final Year): This year’s annual KDS play took everyone with a pleasant surprise, in contrast to the past history, and earned much appreciation. Usman Khalid and his team did an excellent job in pulling it off, and his inclusion among the most influential is therefore quite expected.

Zahra Azeem (Final Year): The founder and president of Society of Academic and Research Development (SARD) has made much efforts to introduce research culture in KE. It is a promise of great potential and it is for this advance that we deem her of significant influence.

Faria Shahab (Final Year): Being the President of Debating Society and playing one of the major acting roles in KDS play, Faria has had ample opportunity to exert her clout.

Ayaz Mehmood (Final Year): With a score of 99/266 in his pocket, Ayaz has become the leading authority on how to go about preparing for Steps, and has inspired many of the younger lot to seriously consider attempting USMLE before they have graduated.

 ‘The MD Group’/ ‘The Girls with Curly Hair’/ ‘The Girls at the Pole’ (Final Year): It is group of feisty and perky girls, having their signature abode at the pole near the physio parking. Interestingly, most people we consulted mentioned them as a group entry and it is collectively that they attain a place on this list.

The Quran Class Group:  This unofficial group in the girls’ hostel has been carrying on its mission of spreading religious values among Kemcolians. Regardless of what one may opine, their influence is very obvious.

Shehryar Niazi (Fourth Year): The Bad-Boy who calls the shots and whom everyone listens to. His power is undeniable, and the urban myths surrounding him have trickled down to the very first year. In short, this list would simply be incomplete without him!

Tauseef Omer (Fourth Year): The working force for KAPS and multimedia man for many other societies. His impact can be seen all around. Later in the year, he got involved as a central figure in a grim controversy as KAPS suffered from a serious political crisis.

Omer Altaf and Rizwan Khan (Fourth Year): Through their excellent video production ‘Incomplete’, they have won the hearts of Kemcolians and have set standards for future videos to come.

Qasim Khan (Fourth Year): Qasim Khan of Varsity Stitches is the man responsible for promoting the Kemcolian designer-culture this year and for the success of Hoodies and T-shirts that can be spotted in abundance around the campus; it is a demonstration of influence.  

Ubaid Hafeez (Fourth Year): Out of all his accomplishments as President of SPWS, one alone is sufficient to put him up on this list: the Bake Sale. It has grown into one of the most awaited events in the Kemcolian life, and deservedly so, for the week long fun and food that it offers.

The Third Year Sports Team: These people have shown what it means to excel in sports. No other year stood a chance against them, and they did it without taking any steroids! 


VERBATIM

“No, I did not take Thyroid Hormones!”

                                    Saad Javed, on weight loss

 “It was a postmodern pastiche, exploring cheapness as an art form.”

                                    Awais Aftab, on the Kemonsterz class function skit

“Oho! Yeh sab shitbull hai! Sameera Jee film aur shadi buhat soch samaj kay sign krti hain.”

Sameera Jee, on herself (Anum Asif, KDS play)

“Halaat mukhtalif nahi hotay, soch mukhtalif hoti hai...”

[Conditions do not matter; it is the thinking which makes a difference.]

Senior Customs Office, on making a difference (Usman Khalid, KDS play)

“Cheating, cheating, cheating!”

                                    The crowd, on Madam Attiya losing musical chair

“It has left an effect similar to aminoglycosides on my ears.”

                                    Dr. Muhammad Zahid, on Third Year Class Function

“Astaghfirullah!”

                                    Prof. Akram, on Second Year Class Function


NUMBERS



640 The number of pictures used in the animated video The Silver Lining by Mehroo Bakhtawar

22 Weight in kilograms lost by the Editor-in-Chief of Kemcol

50 The percentage of Al-Karim’s financial revenue earned from KE students

170 Number of marks Salman Faisal scored in Physiology to bag a distinction

98 Number of boys in First Year 

230,000 The earning in Rupees from Annual Bake Sale 2010



KOMICS

Komal Rafique (2nd Year)

Click to enlarge








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