Stick a "Pitchfork" in It

Does this guy decide what you listen to? 

The general conscenus is that Pitchfork determines what indie music flies off store shelves and what is not even stocked.  The problem is that the guy above is the one deciding what you listen to.  That's just sad.  For more proof this guy randomly picks obscure music and lauds it:


What is today's nonsensical verbiage on the front page reviews?

"Throughout Night Drive, whether at a kittenish whisper or a husky, longing sigh, her cauterized range fits the band's vision of disco recast as heartsick pop. And even when wholly instrumental on "The Killing Spree"-- forget the title, the sinister descending keyboard fuzz does a perfect job evoking a murderous robot sci-fi flick on its own-- the band uses what could be sterile pastiche to pull your strings. Tastefully."

Love it!


"At some point, L.A. might produce its own Funeral or what-have-you, and Deadly Syndrome might be the band to make it, but at the very least they sound like the band that'll have the most fun trying."

Still evoking their biggest album they rose to stardom, Arcade Fire's Funeral.



"Less blustery than the screaming California psych of Santa Cruz bros Comets on Fire, not to mention the god the two bands share, Hawkwind, Wooden Shjips still clearly care way more about rock music than some of their primitive peers. But the leather-pants-and-no-underwear mysticism that made Morrison seem like a prophet even as he uttered such wisdom as "Mother I want to yeearrrgh" has been sapped of its power to make weak the knees of men and women alike."

Kind of understand what the reviewer is trying to say.  Kind of.


But some have a theory that Pitchfork writes so poorly, so obtusely for a reason: to create controversy that generates site hits.  The more you hate that guy on the top of the page, the more you want to see what drivel has popped up on the site. 

The online magazine Slate points out:  

"Although the idea that a bunch of shaggy-haired dudes in Chicago would attempt to steer the fate of indie rock seems unlikely, these conspiracy theories have traction on the Web. This is partly because Pitchfork writers are predictable: Typically—but not always—the big temples are defiled, the blog favorites are knocked down a couple of notches, and bands that Pitchfork has "discovered" are praised unto high heaven."




 Ryan Schreiber
                                                                                          [Pitchfork Media Taste Maker; 2007]
                                          Rating: 3.6

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Too verbose in the waist and far too rococo with the facial hair.  So 2003 bargain bin.  He may have "discovered" Funeral, but his career is taking the same caustic turn of propulsity to mimic that album title thusly.  Wouldn't let him select a deaf man's taste in music.  Don't let him select yours.