Cheese Degustation Lunch


7 October 2007 - Huy's New Pad in the scary East End

After much self-congratulations arising from our inaugural Tranzie Degustation Lunch we decided to turn cooking competitive a la Iron Chef with our secret ingredient - cheese.

 

 Degustation goes 21st century

Huy unveiled his secret powerpoint presentation (with matching soundtrack) to much hilarity. The extracted biographies and menus:

While dogged by persistent rumours of a career change, Chef Tran has not allowed the off field distractions to cloud her focus in the kitchen, wowing the fans in Cook Off I with a Kevin Baconesq Duck and Pork San Choi Bao.

 

Iron Chef Jenny presents Horse's Douvres: In this dish, a baby courgette is plucked from the midst of life and transformed into an atomic platform to carry the most underrated cheese in the world, ricotta.  The courgette comes head to head in a colourful confrontation with a primary colour opposition, baby beetroot and gorgonzola.

 

Michael originally got into cooking to develop his conversational confidence with the fairer sex, but this misguided strategy was discarded as soon as his awkward, monstrous frame began to fill out and his cultivation of a reputation for being that sporty but sensitive guy who sketches elephants all day, was complete.    

 

Iron Chef Michael presents Citron Délicieux: Half of a lemon, center removed and filled instead with tomato, basil, anchovy and crémeux mozzarella of buffalo.

 

A brief interview with Tim's Asian girlfriend (the interracial thing is so 2004) has revealed some alarming facts: Tim only began eating non-mince products in his teen years and until this day, the only fruit he can eat is apple.  He is a man of contradictions, frightened by noodles but comforted by spaghetti, repelled by white sauce yet attracted to custard.   

 

Iron Chef Tim does not present Cheese from the Fashion Capitals #1: Paris: Due to the last minute non-appearance of gruyere choux pastry with herbed mushrooms, Iron Chef Tim suffered a barrage of abusive text messages from the assembled guests. “You are dead to us, Tim”. 

 

Brendan "The Man" Manzie has electrified the world of competitive cooking ever since he attempted to pass off a store-bought chocolate babka as an entry into a baking contest. In his youth, he was force-fed a non-stop diet of crumbed food.  In his experimental period, he attempted to stuff a chicken with a banana.  As he moved his interest to haute-cuisine vegetables, he mistook the little girl waif in 'Les Miserables' as a zucchini.

 

Iron Chef Brendan presents Les boules de fromage et de lard ont reconstruit - ala Cheetos: Farm fresh smoky bacon sits atop an infused polenta base accompanied by a cheese canopy. 

 

Although little is known about Miranda's culinary skills, her legal training in the sweat shops of tax, criminal and family law has hardened her and prepared her well for the battles in Kitchen Stadium. 

 

Iron Chef Miranda presents Arancini a la Ching: Crispy gruyere filled balls, encased in a saffron infused risotto shell.

 

Joyce’s world of is one of organisational excellence, dynamic hair and pastry mastery. Its a world where all cyclists wear heels and a tutu dress. A world where all social calendars are always full.  A land where ramekins grow on trees, buildings are made of ganache, where nobody need push their bicycle up hills and nobody swears.

 

Iron Chef Joyce presents Cheese from the Fashion Capitals #2: Tokyo, Milan, New York: You'll still be able to fit into your Miyake, Versace and Karan after these three size zero morsels of cheesecake.

 

First launching on British shores in early 2006, Huy’s distinctive western-Vietnamese-fusion style of cuisine has truly redefined the nation’s staid fine-dining scene.  Who other than Iron Chef Huy would have been brave enough to team the traditional foods of England (pork sausages and HP sauce) with those of Vietnam (fried egg on rice)? 

 

Iron Chef Huy presents Drop Bombes Not Bombs!: Slices of double chocolate Swiss rolls divide layers of Häagan-Dazs vanilla ice-cream, mascarpone cheese and, as an afterthought, crumbed Brazil nut cookies, all drizzled with Baileys Irish cream and encased in baked meringue.

 

And the winners were…

Iron Chef Brendan won the first prize Golden Portuguese Chicken Mitts and yours truly came away with the second prize Mint Portuguese Chicken Mitts!

Look out for Kitchen Stadium #3 - Best of British, hosted by Iron Chef Swinson.