Just call me Sylvia

I take a lot of medication
To keep myself sane
The pills are yellow and orange
And go straight to my brain

But there are those times
When they have no effect
When I break down
And my heart feels wrecked

There was once a time
I would self medicate
By the sharp blade of a razor
My arm has scars
I want to hide
I wish there were an eraser

I'd stick my head in the oven
But I know I wouldn't like the heat
My face would burn
My eyes would sting
And my body would turn to meat

Sometimes I crave the sting
Of the metal cutting my skin
I'd want to push harder
But I've always been too chicken

I have a tattoo on my wrist
To remind me of better days
To tell myself that there is hope
Even when my life is a maze

I don't want to be like Sylvia
And leave my child forever
He is the only constant thing in my life
That's helping me get better

But there will come a time
When this human life will end
And I will be ready to face my death
Be ready to transcend ... 

But not today. 
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