"You've got to be kidding me, right?"

A satirical look at human behavior as seen through the eyes of an educated middle aged black man.

 

The daily news provides us with a veritable smorgasbord of stupid and unbelieveable behavior by the famous and not so famous. I feel that it is my personal mission in life to not only  comment on the actions of these individuals but also to make fun of them. After all, if we can't shake our head at the stupidity of others than what is the point of watching the news. Everyday countless numbers of ordinary individuals go to jobs they don't enjoy just to make ends meet and feed their families. For the most part, the majority of us do the right thing and abide by the social contract.  Generally, we do the right thing, follow the law, are considerate of others and don't act in an irresponsible manner. However, there are few priviledged individuals among us who have more money, fame and time than they need and no idea how to handle it. So what do they do? They get in trouble, do something incredibly stupid and make the news.  That's when I step in. Like the countless,  faceless, masses of people out there, I actually have to work forty-plus hours a week to eke out a living. Therefore, I feel it is my right to make light of those who have every advantage in the world going for them and still manage to mess up their lives. I am not infallible or devoid of compassion. I realize there are extenuating circumstances to every situation in life but come on. If you can't exercise a little common sense, I don't feel sorry for you. You may not always agree with my sarcasm or view, but I guarantee you'll laugh out loud. 

 

The Matter of OJ Simpson 

OJ is back in the news and I'm glad, because as sad as the economy is we need to create more jobs. Part of me is perplexed at the whole fiasco. The other part of me feels like an angry traveler stuck in traffic because there is an accident up ahead. As much as I want to get past the accident and arrive at my destination, there is that small part of me that wants to see a spectacular pile of twisted metal. This is not to say that I'm a sadist, but let's face facts. We all like a good drama and, well, OJ is just plain good TV, reality TV that is. You may not want to admit it, but you were glued to the TV when "Joe Millionaire" aired for the first time. I know I watched it. I chuckled when the women on the show realized prince charming was broke. C'mon, OJ is like any other  guilty pleasure. We act like we really aren't interested in the whole fiasco, but in reality we rush to the TV when we see OJ's grisly mug plastered across the screen.  Now there is a rumor that the FBI was somehow involved. Well I don't believe that one. I do believe OJ was set up, set up by the braintrust of idiots he decided to befriend. Celebrities, a word of advice. If you let somebody into your inner circle, at least do a criminal background check on them. Why would a man worth millions hang out with people who obviously have nothing to lose?

"Gee, I've got nothing going for me. OJ has taken me under his wing and pays me to be part of his posse even though I've got no formal security training. Who am I to tell him that if he busts in a room with guns blazing that it might be kind of illegal? Besides, I like hanging around his million dollar home in Florida and who knows I might get lucky if his girlfriend brings her sister."

That's right ladies and gentleman. There is no room for dissent in an entourage because if there was, you wouldn't see any celebrities getting in trouble. You probably think I'm jealous because I don't have millions of dollars and date supermodels. Well, you're right.  I am jealous, but that still doesn't change the fact that the Juice's temporary lapse of common sense will cost him enough in legal fees to pay my salary for the next ten years.

Until next time.