In honor of the April 2012 Prostitution Scandal in Cartagena, Colombia, here are ten sure-fire ways to identify a Secret Service Agent:
#9 – Owns a concert shirt from every stop of Charlie Sheen’s “Torpedo of Truth Tour.”
#8 – Tells wife the multiple weekend ATM
withdrawals are part of a small-bill
#7 – Off the clock, also answers to the name “John.”
#6 – Wood-paneled basement features multiple
Employee-of-the-Month awards from
#5 – His Craig’s List alias is MachoPig007.
#4 – Has worry lines from keeping call-girls away from President’s secret stash of
#3 – Home DVR has only Burt Reynolds movies on it.
#2 – Carries a doctor's note prescribing lap
dances as best therapy for staying off
#1 – At any moment, will take a pastie for the President.
– by Jeff Burdick (April 2012)
For more Secret Service laughs,
enjoy this YouTube video: