Top 10 Additional Ways for Chicago to Make Money off Stoners

In June 2012, Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel announced support to decriminalize small quantities of marijuana... sort of. Marijuana possession would still be illegal, but could be fined on the spot to more quickly raise city revenues. Here are another 10 ways for the city to turn ganja into green:

10.)  Legalize pot growing in Chicago Forest Preserves. Then privatize.

  9.)  Use Red Light cameras to catch when stoners blaze up

  8.)  Double fines for users caught with munchies in urban “food deserts”

  7.)   As tourism stunt, move eternal flame from Daley Plaza to Pioneer Court and
         replace with world’s largest perpetually burning blunt

  6.)  Place a RedBox filled only with stoner movies outside every White Castle

  5.)  Establish a sister-city pact with Tijuana, Mexico, and levy a high surcharge 
         on all return flights

  4.)  Have Cultural Affairs Dept. sponsor summer-long Phish festival in Grant Park. 
         Charge anyone with an Occupy Wall Street sign or bongo double

  3.)  Establish “Space Cake Tuesdays” at all neighborhood farmer markets

  2.)  Celebrate Bob Marley’s Feb. 6 birthday as a marijuana ticket amnesty day

  1.)  Name Bulls forward Joaquin Noah grand marshal of annual Michigan Avenue
         Groovy Lights Festival

                     – by Jeff Burdick (June 2012)

Related videos: Rahm Emanuel lampoon series:
"Rahm's Hand & Friends" — Click Here 

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