In the wake of the Cartagena prostitution scandal, several Secret Service agents contested their dismissals. Here are the top 10 defenses they reportedly invoked:
#1 – We thought they were just very friendly Zumba instructors.
#2 – It's not fair to change the agency’s per-diem rules after the fact.
#3 – What else can Americans do in Latin America? It was either that or get corn rows.
#4 – It’s Colombia: We were taking them hostage, and paying their ransom.
#5 – We’ve always respected Shakira and her efforts to de-objectify Colombian women.
#6 – Gloria Allred is pretty sure the elastic Commerce Clause covers shit like this.
#7 – Like the drinks at that vacation club presentation, we just assumed the hostesses
#8 – We’re still Nazi hunting – checking every nook and cranny.
#9 – We didn’t want that prescription of penicillin to go to waste.
#10 – We’re easily seduced by the hypnotic allure of the Lambada.
– by Jeff Burdick (May 2012)
For more Secret Service laughs,
enjoy this YouTube video: