Top 10 Defenses for Secret Service Agents

In the wake of the Cartagena prostitution scandal, several Secret Service agents contested their dismissals. Here are the top 10 defenses they reportedly invoked:

 #1 – We thought they were just very friendly Zumba instructors.

 #2 – It's not fair to change the agency’s per-diem rules after the fact.

 #3 – What else can Americans do in Latin America? It was either that or get corn rows.

 #4 – It’s Colombia: We were taking them hostage, and paying their ransom.

 #5 – We’ve always respected Shakira and her efforts to de-objectify Colombian women.

 #6 – Gloria Allred is pretty sure the elastic Commerce Clause covers shit like this.

 #7 – Like the drinks at that vacation club presentation, we just assumed the hostesses
            were complimentary too.

 #8 – We’re still Nazi hunting – checking every nook and cranny.

 #9 – We didn’t want that prescription of penicillin to go to waste.

#10 – We’re easily seduced by the hypnotic allure of the Lambada.

                     – by Jeff Burdick (May 2012)

For more Secret Service laughs, 
enjoy this YouTube video: