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Battlefield 1942

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UPDATED 3.25.07//UPDATED JUST FOR YOU//LINN-MAR WINS STATE TITLE: THE ONE SPORT WE DON'T SUCK AT//AT GUNS KILL TANKS, TANKS KILL INFANTRY, INFANTRY KILLS AT GUNS, BUT A NUKE KILLS EVERYTHING//A HELICOPTER AND A TREE CANNOT OCCUPY THE SAME SPACE AT THE SAME TIME//UPDATED 12.10.06//XMAS COOKIES BEING MADE ACROSS AMERICA, YOU CAN HEAR ARTERIES CLOGGING UP//BLAIR DENOUNCES IRAQI WAR, AMERICAN PUBLIC SAYS, "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?"//1001 HP, 253 MPH STREET-LEGAL CAR PRODUCED, 1.2 MILLION DOLLARS: GOT YOURS YET?//SADDAM TO BE HUNG WITH CHRISTMAS LIGHTS, DECLARED MORE FESTIVE//MOST UGLY PERSON SIGHTED, MELTS THROUGH CRUST OF EARTH//BUSH DECLARES WAR ON PEOPLE WITH CHAINSAWS//ASSAULT RIFLE BAN LIFTED//YOU GOT FIREFOX 2 YET?//PEOPLE ARE STUPID, BUT THEY GOT THE GUNS//SOVIET RUSSIA IS NO MORE, YOU HAVE CHOICES AT LUNCH//TUESDAY EATS WEDNESDAY, BECOMES 48 HOURS////FNT^3 NEWS TICKER//LIMBAUGH DECLARES HIMSELF A GOD, LAUGHED OUT OF VATICAN//HEAD-ON--APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD//FIREFOX 2 DECLARED BETTER THAN IE 7//HELP I'M TRAPPED IN THE FNT^3 NEWS ROOM//MONKEYS NO. 1 SELLER IN COMMERCIALS//THOUSANDS OF HIGHLIGHTERS TAINTED//PEOPLE DECLARED STUPID//UGLY PEOPLE SIGHTED: OH GOD THEY'RE EVERYWHERE//TRAFFIC JAMS SWAMP L.A.//CONGRESS SLOWS DOWN//FNT^3//BUSH ANNOUNCES RUNNING FOR THIRD TERM//ELECTION LOOKING REALLY BAD FOR JOHN KERRY//FNT^3 NEWS//PANIC ENSUES AFTER INCIDENT//APPLES SUED BY DOCTOR FOR KEEPING PATIENTS AWAY//MACINTOSH ANNOUNCES COMPUTER WITH ONLY ONE BUTTON//SQUIRRELS EXPLODING, BUSH RAISES TERROR LEVEL//FNT^3 NEWS//CONGRATULATIONS, YOU MADE IT TO THE END. NOW CLICK REFRESH AND REPEAT UNTIL I TELL YOU TO STOP