Pick Up Lines
By Kisa Lehtikoski
Everyone has the object of their desire and dreams about what to do with him or her. Whether or not those dreams are grand and possibly unrealistic, they are still dreams that cannot be accomplished without gaining the interest of the other individual. A pick-up line is a conversation opener that is most commonly used as a conversation opener for romantic interest. Seems like a good idea right? Well, you could not be more mistaken as these “pickup lines” often end with your interest either slapping you or basically rolling on the floor holding their stomach and perhaps even beginning to cry over the pain of laughter.
Let’s first start off with thinking about the different types of pickup lines: straight to the point, cheesy, innuendos and double entendre, flattery, and other types of essentially horrible lines that will lead to your imminent social death.
1. Are you a magnet cuz im attracted to you
2. Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
3. If you were a Dementor, I'd become a criminal just to get your kiss.
4. Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
5. That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
6. Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down.
7. Your place or mine?
8. Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
9. Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
10. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
11. Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
12. You are the reason men fall in love.
13. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
14. I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
15. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
16. I’m sorry, but staring at your beautiful self made me walk into the wall. I’m going to need your name and number. For insurance reasons.
By Kiša Lehtikoski
What did you do for Valentine’s Day? Were you one of the lucky ones to go to the
movies with a new crush or to a romantic date with a significant other where you two
exchanged a dozen red roses, chocolate hearts, and cards professing your undying love, or were you one of the unlucky ones who spent the day with their fictional boyfriend or girlfriend and then spent the next day talking about how much fun they had watching movies at home with their “never to be seen or spoken about” Valentine? Was it your fault that you asked out your crush in the weirdest way possible like coming to their house at
three in the morning and yodeling your heart out about your undying love or simply deathly afraid to ask out that dreamy crush of yours who you go out of your way to watch while they turn boring everyday activities into an act of grace during your “free time”? Valentines
is a day of endless possibility and events, some of which are far better than others. The questions can go on and on as the excitement continues for even the single people as one could not possibly go through the entire day without thinking about the day that is supposed to be full of love, roses, and other forms of lovely capitalist mush. One might even go far enough to go out and paint the town red with their fake “lovah”. Perhaps you
and your friends despise Valentine’s Day and held an antiValentine’s day party or perhaps simply a singles party for those unlucky fellows who could not use their seductive tactics to pin down and capture someone before the fatal hour. The day has come and gone, and the memories of this valentines’ day may be fond or fair, but for others it can leave a traumatizing mark on years yet to come. No matter what, the holiday will haunt you forever, and possibly leave you in a constant state of fear of the colour red.
To Shakespeare, or not to Shakespeare?
If you were or currently are a student in Mr. Underwood’s class, chances are you have tackled the complicated works of Shakespeare. Whether it was Romeo and Juliet in 9th grade, or Macbeth in 10th grade, you probably spend a decent amount of time attempting to comprehend the innuendoes, double entendres and metaphors that are present in his plays. While there are explanations out there that help us understand his plays in our everyday English, we may find ourselves lost in translation somewhere in the duration of the play. Ergo, you might end up despising the deceased playwright, usually after you finish the first act or two. Then you torment Mr. Underwood with questions such as “Why learn Shakespeare if we don’t speak like that anymore?” ‘What’s the point? The guy’s six feet under.” Well kiddies, here’s the answer: If you can read Shakespeare, you can read anything.
Maybe I’m exaggerating just a tad. However, Shakespeare does give you a huge advantage when you compare yourself to individuals who simply think Shakespeare is a skinny bald man with funny tights and a fluffy collar. If you’re familiar with the archaic English that is used in Shakespeare, you get a head start in understanding the English language today and expressions we throw around in daily life. Something that would challenge you before Shakespeare will appear dull and cause yawning fits. In the end, embracing Shakespeare could lead to an easy 7 on your report card.
Another plus: you look smart. It’s true. Society says, though you may not agree, that Shakespeare’s plays are of the up most quality in literature. Hence, people are in awe of you and your godly English skills. And if you can even throw in a relevant quote or two, well that’s a bonus. For example, males should take note when Shakespeare wrote “Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned”. In a modern translation, he is saying that the wrath of hell does not compare to the consequences that await you when you hurt a woman.
The interpretations of his work transcend culture to be similar and understandable wherever they are studied. Shakespeare’s themes like love, hate, betrayal and death can resonate with all of us because the plots that are present emulate human desires and the majority of readers can identify with his characters’ actions. Shakespeare guru and Professor Edward Bloom summed this up well then he once said “Shakespeare is universal”.
by Marko M. Jukic
On February 2nd, communities across the United States and Canada celebrated Groundhog Day, a holiday adored by those who celebrate it, and perhaps treated with a sort of benign incredulity or skepticism by those who don’t. According to legend, when the groundhog emerges from his burrow, one of two things will happen: he will see his shadow and condemn the world to six more weeks of winter, or he will not see his shadow, and bless the world with an early spring! Groundhog Day festivities are rampant in the Eastern United States and Canada, and the largest is held in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, where up to 40,000 people gather to celebrate every year! The town and its celebrations were immortalized in the 1993 hit comedy film Groundhog Day (where Bill Murray plays a curmudgeon stuck in time, waking up every morning in the day he just ended), and Punxsutawney Phil the groundhog is a household name in the United States (although not an easily pronounced one!).
Foreigners may wag their fingers and tut-tut at the silly Americans gathering to listen to a rodent, but is Groundhog Day really much dumber than a fat man bringing you presents or a magic rabbit bringing you eggs? Regardless, the holiday has its origins in Europe, from the German Candlemas Day, and from the pagan festival of Imbolc. German and Dutch immigrants brought the tradition to the New World, where it evolved into its modern form, and for this reason Groundhog Day is still mostly a East-coast holiday -- where it is taken very seriously! And in case you’re wondering -- Punxsutawney Phil predicted that 2011 will have an early spring!
**************************************Behind Cyanide and Happiness
By Yva Klaric
We are all familiar with the awesome, witty, sarcastic stick figures of Cyanide and Happiness. Their massive heads are always quick to make a sharp and biting comment but who is actually thinking for them? This delightful comic strip was created in 2004 when founder, Kris Wilson was at home, in bed with strep throat. He originally hosted them on his own website Comicazi then he shared them on Sticksuicide. The webmasters of Sticksuicide, Matt Melvin, Rob DenBleyker and Dave McElfatrick, then started Explosm.net which had more of an art focus rather than the flash comics of their previous site. They liked Kris’ comics (duh) and eventually he was invited to do a daily comic on their site. The name “Cyanide and Happiness” comes from a previous strip of Wilson’s and the name just took off.
The strip is not for the faint of heart, apart from the constant string of profanities, it is often criticized and is even banned from certain places due to its dark nature. It usually covers controversial topics such as death, murder, rape, pedophilia, sexual indecency, sexuality and violence. However, conveyed in comic form, instead of being gross or sad, they transform into satire and a dark social commentary. It sometimes features famous people who are made the butt of certain jokes and puns – Lindsey Lohan, George Bush, Steven Tyler, Billy Joe Armstrong among others. All of this adding up to make the hilarious and occasionally questionable comic strip that is Cyanide and Happiness.
Avatar banned from China’s 2D cinemas
By Chincia Shelley
Avatar, the Golden Globe winning movie is a science fiction epic about humans that have found another planet with new life forms. They force the aliens out of their own homes just so the humans could harvest a very valuable mineral. Although it’s a major hit, the Chinese government finds it too closely related to a sensitive issue China faces now. The government is evicting many Chinese people out of their homes to build new government infrastructure. The government wishes to hide the movie since it alludes to this topic.
According to yahoo.com, the Chinese government banned Avatar from 2D cinemas only, so people can still view Avatar in 3D cinemas. There are so few 3D cinema screens in China; it's essentially a theatrical ban for the Golden Globe winning movie. Chinese officials are agitated by the Avatar movie; it takes too much market share out of the local movies. They replaced the Avatar movie with a Chinese film Chow-Yun Fat biopic. A spokesperson added, "There are certain windows in the year that are held for domestic films. We're coming up on Chinese New Year, so this can be expected."
Do you think China’s actions were fair?
ISB students seem to have very similar points of view; they all agreed that it was not fair for the Chinese Government to ban the Avatar movie. They all thought movies should be watched by people’s choice not by the governments choice. Iva a grade 10 student concluded, “The Chinese government’s actions were an act of censorship that happens a lot in China and other countries.” Other countries censor movies, either for religion or political reasons. People should have their own personal choice, whether to watch a movie or not.
Honest or Dishonest: That is the Question
By Kisa Lehtikoski
Teens are constantly on a search for questions and answers, and they are willing to look anywhere for them: from personality quizzes, to yahoo answers, to blogging, to chatrooms, and now to formspring. Formspring is a fairly simple site where any person can anonymously ask another person questions. The questions range from philosophical and unique to occasionally downright abusive, but the real question is why do teens answer those questions. What is the purpose of creating these formsprings, and why have they quickly become so popular?
Well the teenage years are a period of self discovery, and how others perceive them is very critical. Therefore formspring can be seen as a method of how teens figure out who they are through the questions of others. Suddenly through formspring it becomes our “business” to know private details of a person’s life. It also grants people the ability to confront a person they dislike anonymously. Sometimes this confrontation is good, but at other times it’s simply abusive and bullying. These views are held by many at ISB, and formspring has large popularity among the student population although it has some pretty clear issues. Iva, in grade 9 states that, “I think a lot of people can abuse it, but it is a rather fun activity and internet phenomenon. Plus it allows people to ask things they wouldn’t be able to ask otherwise without fear of consequence.” Formspring has a wide fan base among teens, but it does not have widespread if any use among adults within our school as Mr. Underwood himself said, “what was that site you were talking about? Foamspring? Formsteam? Forumspring? ” This is a tool that will have more use in the future as more teens discover it. Also, numerous similar sites are constantly being opened now to serve the vastly interested teen population in their search for self discovery. This trend is simply growing with the increase of available technology, and this search for a sense of self is not new: the question truly become whether or this inevitable trend is a good thing.*************************************