Short Stories


Sometimes I amuse myself and sometimes I amuse others.  Don't ask me how I come up with this stuff.  Usually it's just the result of one too many drinks at Taelbert's Inn.  Just another reason why alcoholics shouldn't live in the same building as a bar.

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ByeBye Goldie

You say, "From Iliani Morlaix's Not-So-Fable Fables."

You bow.

A lushly furred lavender-point cat lies down on the silk rug.

You recite:

"ByeBye Goldie: a home experiment with cats and fish gone bad"

You gaze at a lushly furred lavender-point cat.

Rowynn giggles.

You say, "Very bad"

You recite:

"The scene!"

(Iliani dances a fruity froo froo dance interpretation as if she were some hotshot bardess.)

Raising her glowing absinthe to you, Rowynn gives you a toast. Cheers!

You recite:

"Arranged on the table to catch any stray beams of light streaming in from the room's window, a large teak-framed aquarium rests in the middle of the tea table's surface. Filled with a wild assortment of aquatic creatures, the aquarium's inhabitants swim blissfully unaware of the watchful feline gaze peering into their home from his high perch on the fireplace's mantle."

You gently clean a large teak-framed aquarium, rubbing off a few small smudges til the surface is once again immaculate.

You gaze at a lushly furred lavender-point cat.

You recite:

"The dilemma!"

(Iliani performs another dramatic dance interpretation bit to emphasize the situation.)

Rowynn whistles at you.

You recite:

"I, the homeowner, have left the cozy warmth of my home to go gallavanting in the trader's market tent for my daily shopping fix. But my obsessive nature as a infamous shop-a-holic has blinded me to the needs of my precious pets and I have left without feeding Kuruk the cat."

You sniffle.

You say, "Poor Kuruk is starving."

A lushly furred lavender-point cat licks himself diligently.

You snicker.

Rowynn says, "right on cue"

You nod.

Rowynn gazes at a lushly furred lavender-point cat.

You recite:

"The results!"

(Iliani skips the dramatic froo froo crap cuz it's giving her a cramp in the side.)

Nestled in a pale grey bed of sand, dense stands of broad-leafed banana plants sway with the currents in a large teak-framed aquarium.

You recite:

"I return home, loaded down with my various purchases, only to find the limp body of Goldie the goldfish drying out on the table next to the aquarium while a normally active Kuruk is sprawled out along the windowframe in what appears to be a very content catnap."

You shush the lavender-point cat.

A lushly furred lavender-point cat lies down, curling up into a ball.

You gaze at a small dead dried-up goldfish.

You sniffle.

Rowynn gasps!

You say, "ByeBye Goldie."

Rowynn exclaims, "bad kitty!"

You curtsy gracefully.

You say, "The end."