The One-Eyed Skunk Ape of Bath County, KY

 

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Not long ago, in a hollow (coliquially known as 'holler' in some regions of Eastern Kentucky) far, far away there lived an exquisite creature whom aside from a cable subscription and mail service remained unfettered by the modern world.

The creature was known by many names in his day: Stripe-Face, The Psycho-Semantic Skunkster, and The One-Eyed McGillogullet.  But those closest to him knew him as Skunky, short for The One-Eyed Skunk Ape of Bath County, KY, bestowed upon him by the Bath County Ledger in 1977.

The last known news of Skunky's whereabouts were divulged in The Ledger's front page exposė of May 18, 2007 titled "One-Eyed Skunk Ape Returns!"  According to the newspaper and the local evening news, the Skunk Ape and a troupe of pals fell upon a ruthless band of sasquatches on Sutter's Ridge in Bath County.  Further investigation into the matter revealed the sasquatch family had been holding "...some items or perhaps a friend [for ransom]", sparking Skunky's heroic pursuits.

Optimistic as these alleged accounts may seem, no one has seen hide nor hair of Skunky or his cohorts.  Is the Skunk Ape lost in the woods, separated from his friends, bereft of any usual food sources and therefore a threat to society?  Or is Skunky "living it up" as they say, raking up tons of government subsidies and watching ABC Family night and day? 

The world may never know.

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