Sunday Family Humour 7th November

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour


A very special thank you to all contributors



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Your Duck is Dead
Thanks to David H.

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she
laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm
sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned
a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's
owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to
bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few
minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and
also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back
on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the
room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this
is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a
bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried,
"$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat
Scan, it's now $150."



The new dental Plan
Thanks to Sperm Whale

Dental Plan



Really Old Pictures
Thanks to Cory A.


Really Old Pictures



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The Charlie Schulz Philosophy

Thanks to Tony H.


(This is marvelous!!
Scroll thru slowly and read carefully to receive and enjoy full effect)

snoopy 1



The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip.

You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them.

Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.

4 Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

snoopy 2


How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.

These are no second-rate achievers.

They are the best in their fields.

But the applause dies..

Awards tarnish..

Achievements are forgotten.

Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.


Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one :

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.


Easier?

The lesson :

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the
Most credentials, the most money...or the most awards.

They simply are the ones who care the most

snoopy 5


Pass this on to those people who have either made a difference in your life,
Or whom you keep close in your heart, like I did.


''Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!"

The Story of My Life
Thanks to Mark G.

story of my life



Trust me - I'm a pilot
Thanks to David H.

Trust me I'm a pilot



New Zealand Rugby
Thanks to John H.

NZ Rugby



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