Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
A very special thank you to all contributors.
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Thanks to Ray O'
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
George W. Bush
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
"I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” The third gave me more children!
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
“Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!”
“First there’s the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes Suffer...ing!
Thanks to Lee
The Magic of Cyril
Thanks to Ray M.
Thanks to Tony H
Thanks to Ray O'
Kintaikyo, Iwakuni , Japan
The original Kintai Bridge was built in 1673 but collapsed due to flooding. The rebuilt bridge survived for more than 200 years until a typhoon destroyed it in 1950. The bridge that stands now over the Nishiki River has five wooden arches displaying an incredible amount of detail and craftmanship. Interesting fact: no nails or bolts have been used to build the arches, only clamps and wires..
Juscelino Kubitschek Bridge , Brasilia , Brazil
The JK Bridge in Brasilia is a lesson in elegant bridge design. The three huge diagonal arches over the deck of the bridge give the structure an amazing visual fluidity.
Rolling Bridge, London , UK
Thomas Heatherwick's award-winning rolling bridge is an ingenious addition to the grand union canal system in London and is unique. Unlike regular movable canal bridges, the rolling bridge curls up to form an octagon by way of hydraulic jacks to let ships pass.
Beipanjiang River Railroad Bridge, Guizhou , China
Beipanjiang River Railroad Bridge in Guizhou is an enormous railway bridge that was built as part of the 'Guizhou-Shuibai Railway Project'. Connecting two mountains over a deep ravine, at its highest point the bridge's deck sits 918 ft above the ground. Parenthetically the bridge connects two of the country's poorest areas.
Henderson Waves, Southern Ridges, Singapore
'Henderson Waves' is Singapore 's highest pedestrian bridge and is at the 'Southern Ridges,' a beautiful 9 km (six miles) stretch of gardens and parks. The deck of the bridge is made from thousands of Balau wood slats, perfectly cut and arranged, and along the length of the deck a snaking, undulating shell forms sheltered seating areas on every upward curve.
Pont Gustave Flaubert, Rouen , France
This incredible vertical lift bridge is in Rouen , France , whose spans weigh 1,200 tons each but can be hoisted 180 ft vertically in an impressive 12 minutes. The angular lift structures at the top of each tower weigh 450 tons each. The huge vertical lift allows even the largest cruise liners to sail through.
Hegigio Gorge Pipeline Bridge , Southern Highlands Province , Papua New Guinea
This bridge supports two pipelines; one gas, the other oil, across the extremely deep gap in Papua New Guinea . If this were to be officially recognized as a vehicular or pedestrian bridge it would rocket to the top of the 'world's highest bridge-span' with the pipelines at an impressive height of 1,290 ft above the bottom of the gorge. By comparison, the current highest bridge span belongs to the Royal Gorge Bridge in Colorado , hanging a mere 1,053 ft above ground level.
Thanks to Mark E.
There is an annual contest at Melbourne University calling for the
most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.
This year's term was:
The winner wrote:
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional,
illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream
media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible
to pick up a turd by the clean end."
Thanks to DH
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