irc rap battle

(Originally posted by salstress Friday, March 23, 2007 @ http://blog.myspace.com/realsalstress)

irc rap

CHEEZ: dionysus drinkin hard, who'd expect that shit, only named for a god like a bacchanaliast, sat pickin on him, never woulda thought, always starting shit but there's no wit he brought, salstress sitting on top of all, controlling the channel instead of hittin the mall, wishes she out spent bougy in the fall, so she instead of him could own this all, xartet always playin, devil's advocate, nigga talks a lot, he says a lot of shit, can't believe a word, just don't listen to it, and it'll make him throw a fuckin hissy fit

KRAFT: dont stress salstress with ur not easy listenin / she cant get down with rhymes so blisterin / but she'll throw her panties at wayne newton / that shits ridiculous like candy croutons

CHEEZ: strapped up with the tek, irc'n hard, only thing this develops is an ass made of lard, e-tard, r-tard, ass-lard cow-ard, hide behind your packets and make a lotta noise, tell me who you are and you'll meet me and my boyz, wish I'd meet veru so I could tap dat ass, not with my cock, but using a preacher's, fresh from mass, forgiven man staff, buried in your butt, now you gotta ask god 'first this, now what?!'

VERUSHKA: where i come from it's rap or die, no one gone be stroking you for a rap that don't fly, you may be my lover but i aint gone lie, ur rap is sour like mody bread on rye

CHEEZ: xartet keeps on typing, nothing communicated, strip him of his striping, lieutenant demotivated, #philosophy chatter, mental masturbated, bullshit flyin round, airborne bovinated

AAAAZZ: ive got a doctorate in funk, a masters in beats, they named a chair after me at yale, or was it a toilet seat

FRZZLEFRY: , a bonafied pimp cheez comes with the flows, stickin and movin' gettin' sick wit dem hoes, you think you got skills, cheez's vocab is ill, he'll roll up a blunt and show you how to chill, he visits your dreams, he'll bust your O' ring, and just when you've had enough, he'll come back again and this time he's rough

BLINGCORE: You motherfuckin' fairies wouldn't know a good rhyme if Shakespeare and his homies could travel through time, all you poseurs need to back the fuck up and bow down, cuz I'm the bad mammajamma who runs this fucking town

VERUSHKA: he might be cajun but his raps aint ragin, expect his grl to be phoney appraisin, u may be my boo but but u aint gone scare this canadjun, here i stand and my thots u aint be cagin'

CHEEZ: veru's begging for more, yawning like a bore, acting like she's better but she's just a goofy whore, tryin be cool so damn hard, too bad she's got a giant ass of lard, watch that shit jiggle, every time she laughs, thank god she don't ROTFLOL, the floor she'd mash

XARTET: keep it short and sweet you guys can't phase me with these crib note sheets

CHEEZ: veru can't spit more than a line at a time, instead of tryin to compete, she says to shorten mine, simplify my raps, cause you're simplifying thine? bust you in your mouth so I don't listen to you whine

XARTET: i stop all flow ulitmate troll on a roll

KRAFT: roanoke is rawer than blue cheese / bust a rhyme that haev u drop to the floor like u got shot in _both_ knees / the dopest taoist in all of northern quebec / puttin ur career in jeopardy like he's alex trebek

CHEEZ: xartet's from delcambre, near my home, shrimp capital, creole it owns

AAAAZZ: get on yr knees and worship the cheez, if its fromage you desire, just give him a squeeze

VERUSHKA: dude, i be quotin young mc when u were 4, if u wanna get a head start on me u better start practisin' like its a chore, scratch that dude, i think that just not what u good for. just smile, look pretty n hit my backdoor

VERUSHKA: i break it down raw like octupus out the ocean, sorry i dont lie about rhymes i aint no soothin hand lotion

KRAFT: verushka first bit lauren hill now she's bitin lil kim / what's next ? bitin' tiny tim? / quit that shit girl, just roll up the rim to win

VERUSHKA: roanoke quit it with ur stupid questions on martial arts, this aint no place for new age french tarts

CHEEZ: philosophy bumbaclat, scat-like chat, fuckin eat it up like a korean with a cat

VERUSHKA: ghost ryder, ghost world, ghost dog it's all the same. hobbies for the nerds roanoke , pls, get some game.

VERUSHKA: i hate all those 3 things equally with a passion, not whip out that stick n give me some action

XARTET: i make my own slang, it shine from my dang dang, my girl veru is dope, but i got the thang thang

VERUSHKA: only thing worse is the tryad of music with the word wolf, start pounding me doggystyle as i go: woof woof

KRAFT: cheez cant outcraft kraft / no applause sign or fake people laughed / u better step up kid unless ur avoidin' the draft

CHEEZ: geeks abound, this is irc, I bet you're all as geeky as me, the real world you flee, come to #philosophy, and substitute this shit in place of reality

AAAAZZ: xartet's a hiphop master, bite his rhymes faster, melt down your idols, and worship zoroaster

VERUSHKA: rhyming is for tweety birds n canaries n clocks, u aint no pupetteer and i aint lamb chops

CHEEZ: thinking deep is easy, just toke on this, man two hits and I guarantee you're pissed, or maybe just stoned, highly mellow, to where #philosophy doesn't warrant a hello

AAAAZZ: im like a one armed thief, droppin gems all over the street, my rhymes are gluten-free, strictly whole grain wheat

CHEEZ: luge lessons, nude asses, sharp ice, huge lesions

XARTET: getting nasty with pregnant crackladies. putting hammers in asses. gettin trashy on a c section. boys outside her door and they aint laughin

KRAFT: my pits stink like ass / but my ass smells like heaven / when im on the mic turn the dial to eleven

CHEEZ: on AAPL I'm up twenty-eight, on GOOG up a hundred plus, on COKE I make mints so you better not fuck with us, the stock market I play, I like to gamble large, watchin numbers change is really workin hard

AAAAZZ: I LOST A FUCKLOAD ON BEOS, NOW IM FORCED TO WANDER THE STREETS WEARING A COCKTAIL DRESS

BONKY: devil dongs a cranking...angels watchin and wankin...yahwehs gonna get a spankin...

CHEEZ: my mutual funds earn 24%, can you imagine, a fund earns that shit? it's a stock index fund, named PISRX, it's about as low income as I let my investing get

XARTET: i may suck but im not self deprecating. my star shines bright. they can't help that they hatin

KRAFT: ball peen for ball peon / the masses are asses but xartet spits neon

AAAAZZ: ill punch your ass like rocky, ice you down like a game of hockey, for days on end, youll be the star of my bukkake

VERUSHKA: l o v e xartet. When xartet aint be rappin he be singing love ballds, they get me so happy i feel like tossin my salad

VERUSHKA: sorry im not a vulgar lady i only talk like this cuz its in rhyme, i believe the mask of lyricizin protect me from looking like dirty ass slime

AAAAZZ: dis hype man is hype, his beat are mad tight, the lord doth said, let his rhymes be your light

KRAFT: im the one who introduced bukkake to the west / silk perfume gold and jizz and on face neck and breasts

XARTET: i went to mcgill but my rhymes is corny poetry major and still i sound phony

XARTET: i like ice cream. we can skip the wedding. he had a nice dream but she only let him stick the head in.