Katy Perry's Super Teenage Dream 64 - Part Two

< Part One
Jake Spencer
20 March 2012


Track 4: Firework

After the first three tracks, you might think we're in for a full album of odes to alcohol-soaked sex parties. Well, boom-boom-boom - here's an uplifting little ballad about how each of us has value, and we can all cast a brilliant display of light across the night sky and push back the surrounding darkness if we only find the beauty that exists within us. She may start mixing her metaphors in the song's first line (why, exactly, would a plastic bag want to start again?), but the intention is sweet.

The video is a collection of vignettes showing how believing in yourself is all you need to do to overcome an adverse situation. Subjects include a kid with cancer, a magician being beaten up by a street gang, and girls taking their clothes off at a pool party. Plus, Katy Perry shoots fireworks out of her chest.


The Game: Firework Command

Plastic bags are drifting through the wind in this Missile Command sequel. Your only option is to man the experimental weapon "K-T P3rrY" and shoot them down with your firework weaponry before they fall to the surface where a baby could crawl inside and suffocate.


Track 5: Peacock

Ms. Perry is an amateur ornithologist. To wit:

"I wanna see your peacock-cock-cock
Your peacock-cock
Your peacock-cock-cock
Your peacock

I wanna see your peacock-cock-cock
Your peacock-cock
Your peacock-cock-cock
Your peacock"

The Game: Peacockémon Snap

Hop back into the Zero One in this long-awaited follow-up to Pokémon Snap! Travel the world and snap as many pictures as you can of every bird you can find. You'll start your peacock safari with only a camera, but if you can manage to impress Professor Oak, he just might let you get your hands on the Pester Balls and Poké-Flute.

Rated E for Everyone.


Track 6: Circle the Drain

Is anything more heartbreaking than watching a loved one succumb to addiction? It takes incredible strength to admit that the person you once adored so much has become a shadow of their former self thanks to the ravages of substance abuse. It takes even greater resolve to stand up and walk away.

Why did it have to be this way, Mystery Drug Addict Guy? All Katy Perry ever wanted was to get super wasted and have lots of sex with you! Now we have to take a break from feel-good songs like "Last Friday Night" to hear about your depressing problems. Thanks, jerk.


The Game: Katy Perry's Bubbles

Junkies are circling the drain! In this special edition of Bubbles, help Katy Perry collect all the drugs and alcohol before the horrible addicts around you can get them. Earn bonus points by sexing up anything that moves!

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