08 March 2012
I know. I know!
You guys, this is the kind of mondo-'90s nonesuch most snarky Web editors only dream of finding, and I want to make fun of it, but...look, you don't keep 18-year-old video game magazines around your house if you don't have at least a little nostalgia for this style. If these stupid pages wrote a personal ad, I would answer.
In the clammy grasp of each surrealist abomination is a functional, desirable, boring-boring-boring Game Gear accessory: an AC adapter, a link cable, a carrying case. Good stuff, but...yaaaaaaaaaaaawn.
And that's why I look back fondly upon these stranger days, when otherwise dull bric-à-brac could grab your attention with the aid of bizarre graphic design.
Congratulations, freaky finger-head clone monsters. I would award you two thumbs up if I weren't afraid that the gesture might come across as insensitive. I still have so much to learn about your culture.
Miss those handy-men already, don'tcha?
I don't have anything else to say about this except,
I was hoping I could find a Circle Pad Pro ad for the sake of comparison, but it appears that there aren't any advertisements for it.
What's worse than a market split by multiple controllers? A market split by a secret second controller.
(Number three on this list is not at all relevant, but I could only think of two things to say about about the PowerBack, which made for an awfully anemic list. You try looking at this page for more than a minute without losing all interest.)
There may not have been much to say about an unwieldy battery pack, but the Kinect of the early-90s? That's a peripheral that deserves an article of its very own.
Oh, Activator, you'll get yours.
(In the meantime, please enjoy this video of Siskel and Ebert embarrassing themselves.)
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