Who or What is William Bebb and HOPP?
Let's start with William Bebb. He's a guy who enjoys pounding on defenseless keyboards, sometimes for hours at a time.
So, what is Hands on Productions & Publications, aka HOPP?
Once upon a time, back in the dark ages circa 1989-1993, when the World Wide Web was still just a gleam in Al Gore's eye, William Bebb dabbled with television. It was heady goofy time and he created a show called BEEB-TV that had zero budget and very little going for it. The show was a made by Hands On Productions with the ample help of his friends and fellow college students. If you find yourself wondering what it was like, a precious few clips of BEEB-TV can be found on YOUTUBE. I could link it for you, but that would make things too easy.
Who makes Hands On Productions & Publications?
The handsome guy wearing the hat in the picture posted above writes stuff that he likes to share with readers that have questionable taste in literature.
Special thanks to Hadden Smith IV. He's very well known for his infamous dancing skills, but more impressively for his book cover Art Designs & Other Artistic Abilities.
And extra gooshy thanks to my wonderful copy editor Laurel Dunn. Who is famed for her ability to know where those pesky commas should go, and perhaps more importantly where they should not go.
More interesting tidbits about William Bebb:
William Bebb has been described as an 'enormous man-child' by both friends and enemies alike. William stands at a height of six foot and five inches. He is believed to be an omnivore though researchers have yet to witness him eating any fruits or vegetables to date.
It is important to remember if you should encounter him in his natural environment, typically a Pizza Hut lunch buffet, not to approach or make eye contact with him. Also unless you wish to provoke him into a homicidal rampage do not take all the good pizza and leave the nasty stuff with the pineapple chunks.
Top researchers have tracked William Bebb's origins to a town in Southern California where it is believe he was born, or dropped off by aliens who realized he was destined to be much to strange to live amongst them. It is theorized that he migrated across the United States, leaving behind a trail of destruction, and settled where he remains to this very day, Alabama.
Dr. Alicia Phillips, a sociologist who has been studying him, wrote in a detailed report that was presented to the United Nations Security Council last winter several startling findings. These are just a few of the more alarming conclusions she presented.
"The subject has nearly mastered the ability to function amongst the population without causing undue suspicion. He apparently managed to deceive a wide group of educators at the University of Alabama at Birmingham UAB where he studied and spent many years running around the campus naked except for a much too short Toga until, out of pity for the beast no doubt, they awarded him a Degree in Bachelor of Arts & the year of 1993 AD.
Much more disturbing were the reports of his nauseating mating techniques. Most women managed to fend off the enormous 'man-child' with a combination of pepper spray and large sharpened sticks. Unfortunately, it is confirmed that he managed to mate successfully with a young woman that bore him two offspring before she managed to escape from his clutches in 2002.
The hideous offspring, one female, one male, are currently being raised by the 'man-child' and it is feared that they will be no less disturbing to humanity than their father.
However, the most frightening aspect of the 'man-child' has recently been discovered with the help of hidden cameras in his remote mountain-side cave. They revealed that he has begun to pound on computer keyboards with his knuckles in his pathetic imitation of what he has seen people doing around him. Insane, often grammatically incorrect, stories have been the alarming result. If he were keeping the stories isolated from the general population I am certain there would be no harm as a result from his keyboard bashing antics. But he has now begun disseminating the stories and I believe the time has come for a more drastic solution to the William Bebb menace."
Why is he here? What does he want? Will humanity survive?
Rest assured scientists will continue to study him so you won't have to.
-Cryptozoologist Larry Loggins and Dr. Alicia Phillips.
His first feeble attempt at creating literature can be found here.
Impressive yet confusing web design by William Bebb.
You can write him an email at email@example.com
My personal assistant Fred.
I've been worried about some readers. My biggest concern is for their welfare and I hate the idea that some might be feeling badly. Three of my novels thus far are FREE. Valley of Death Zombie Trailer Park, Zombies & Other Unpleasant Things, and The Tiniest Invaders Book 1: Coexistence.
If you paid someone of the internet for a copy you were overcharged. They're available, along with all my stories at Smashwords.com for FREE.
The link above should take you to where the stories can be downloaded for free in any format, kindle, nook, ipad, pdf, etc etc etc.
But that's not my biggest worry. (that you were charged for free stories) It's actually a concern that some of you might be feeling guilty. I fear some of you may be tossing and turning unable to get sleep because you feel bad about getting FREE books that brought you great gobs of joy. Rest assured, you needn't feel badly. It's really okay.
"But, Bill, I can't sleep with this feeling that I should have paid something-anything for all your hard work," I imagine nearly all of you reading this are thinking.
If it will help soothe your conscience you may click the link below to paypal and toss a few pennies at me. But you really don't have to worry about it either way.
No guarantee is expressed or implied that sleep or conscience will improve by making a contribution, but I hope it does.