Communication Articles

Setting Aside Time and Energy For Your Marriage
Can Repair the Emotional Erosion

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

If you, as a spouse, are wishing that you felt closer emotionally to your spouse, consider
yourself to be in good company. There are a multitude of tasks, activities and problems
that demand our time and attention on a daily basis. Often while you are running around
feeling taken for granted and neglected by your spouse, s/he feels the same way about
you. You both may be daydreaming about dedicating some time and energy to your

The emotional and intimate connection in your marriage has been eroding due to an
absence of efforts to nurture and maintain it. You know that it is slipping away. Perhaps
when you think of it, you tell yourself that you both need to carve out time to spend
together.  To read the rest of this article, follow this link "Setting Aside Time and Energy For Your Marriage

Making Sure You Are Talking About The Same Thing

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

A pattern of communication difficulties I often see in working with couples is one that I
call “communicating on different levels”. In a classic conflict over taking out the trash,
the discussion deteriorates quickly from exchanging information about the task of taking
out the trash to involve sniper shots about about the inadequacies in the romantic
relationship. One spouse is actually discussing the logistical issues of taking out the
trash, while the other person is making indirect comments about relationship qualities and
marital satisfaction. Typically they don’t know that they are not talking about the same
thing. As they become flooded with frustration and uncomfortable emotion they become
confused about how talking about something so simple as taking out the trash can lead to
a big, ugly argument, with residual hurt feelings and ill will for days. Because they are
indirectly talking about relationship issues, they are often unaware that the conflict really
doesn’t have much to do with the trash.  To read the rest of this article, follow this link

Improving Your Relationship by Setting

Aside Special Communication Time

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

Sometimes it is like the relationship gets lost in the process of living day to day

and you spend all your energy taking care of all the details of that life. You might think

about it occasionally and yearn for more communication with your beloved. You

entertain the notion of actually sitting down and talking about feelings and your thoughts

about the nature of your relationship. You used to talk about goals, dreams, ambitions,

feelings, and things that happened when you were young. You used to make plans about

vacations, and dreamy days spent together, just "being" and loving each other.

You may have even made some effort at having a date night, only to find that the

conversation was short lived and that you rather quickly resorted to the "weather report",

the "kids report", and the "chores list". After a while the date nights didn't seem worth

the bother. Maybe you are just a little bored with your relationship. Maybe you feel like

you have just drifted away from each other. You probably can't even remember when

you stopped really having fun together and started "sleep-walking" through your

marriage.  To read the rest of the article, follow this link: