About The Honey Jar

What is the Honey Jar?

The "Honey Jar" is a conversation starter for couples. It consists of 250 sentence stems, each one serving as an open-ended prompt to discuss one of a number of individual or couple subjects. It is designed to generate conversation about oneself and about the relationship in a non-threatening way. Although designed to assist couples that have been in the marriage for a long time and who seem to have run out of things to talk about, it has been found to be very helpful to couples at any stage of their committed relationship.

The "Honey Jar" can assist most couples with "breaking the ice" to begin to once again share themselves with each other. Each numbered item is a sentence stem that can spark the revelation of information forgotten and as yet unknown about you or your significant other. The sentence stems are random in subject and depth. Some examples of items from The Honey Jar include these:

2. I always wanted to...

6. I wish we would talk more about...

7. The main thing about me is...

108. I like it when you...

113. I sometimes feel guilty about...

175. When I look across the room at you, I feel...

198. The biggest influences on my life...

226. I want a hug when...

235. You know I need time alone when...

245. One of the most valuable things my father ever told me...

            Why The Honey Jar?

            The Honey Jar, is more than a jar of sentence stems.  The Honey Jar sentence stems were field tested for therapeutic value.  The items were specifically formulated to assist partners with restoring a sense of self-confidence and self-efficacy that is so crucial is re-establishing connection and trust.  All of these changes improve a couple's ability to improve their communication, sense of connection and commitment.  As couples devote the time, energy, and willingness to take risks with each other, trust, positive regard, and love, which has sometimes been obscured for a long time, can re-emerge. 

        The Honey Jar allows the couple to create a neutral conversational tone with non-threatening subject matter.  Each partner puts into each item (sentence stem), his or her own thoughts, feelings, memories, or frames of reference.  Although the cards are neutral in tone, each partner projects his or her own content onto the items.  This exercise is not meant for hostile or high conflict couples who could project negative content into the conversation in a non-therapeutic way.   Couples with poor communication and problem solving skills are encouraged to work with a skilled marriage counselor to eliminate destructive communication patterns before using The Honey Jar.   

        The Honey Jar can assist with creating a safe environment to take risks, thus rebuilding trust, experiencing positive communication events, and providing a relationship activity that is fun.  One of the most helpful things to relationships that have lost their vitality, is a return to having fun together.  When you are having fun with your "Honey" (spouse), it is easier to remember how you came to choose and love him or her in the first place. 

        The Honey Jar also provides a built in opportunity to learn and practice new listening skills.  The absence of good listening skills leads in part, to conflict, discord, and erosion of closeness.  The Honey Jar could very well be the first step in "falling back in love" with your spouse.

**Please read the Disclaimers Page.




Comments