commercial signs

Howler collection

 


FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN

Sign in a Swedish furrier's

 


DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR BEST RESULTS

Sign in a Bangkok dry cleaner's

 


PLEASE DON'T HANDLE THE FRUIT. ASK FOR DEBBIE

Sign in a Greengrocer's

 


THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT

YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Sign in a Bucharest Hotel lobby

 


GUARD DOGS OPERATING

Sign in a District Hospital

 


OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR

Sign in a Swiss restaurant

 


NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE

 BOOTS OF ASCENSION

Sign in an Austrian ski hotel

 


WE STAND BEHIND EVERY BED WE SELL

Sign in a furniture shop

 


YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID

Sign in a Japanese hotel

 


WARNING: NEVER USE WHILE SLEEPING

Instructions with hair dryer

 


IF YOU WISH BREAKFAST, LIFT THE TELEPHONE AND OUR WAITRESS WILL

ARRIVE. THIS WILL BE ENOUGH TO BRING UP YOUR FOOD.

Sign in a Tel Aviv Hotel

 


DON'T GO INTO ANOTHER SHOP TO BE CHEATED - COME IN HERE

Sign in a bargain basement

 


SPECIAL TODAY . . . NO ICE CREAM

Sign in a Swiss mountain inn

 


AFTER ONE VISIT WE GUARANTEE YOU WILL BE REGULAR

Sign in an Indian restaurant

 



IF YOU WISH DISINFECTION ENACTED IN YOUR PRESENCE, CRY OUT FOR THE

 CHAMBERMAID

Sign in a Madrid hotel

 


STOP: DRIVE SIDEWAYS

Detour sign in Japan

 


MEMBERS AND NON-MEMBERS ONLY

Sign outside Mexican disco

 


PLEASE DO NOT USE THIS LIFT WHEN IT IS NOT WORKING

Sign in a hotel lift

 


IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS PLEASE. IF YOU ARE NOT PERSON

TO DO SUCH THING IS PLEASE NOT TO READ NOTIS.

Sign in a Tokyo hotel

 


DANGEROUS DRUGS MUST BE LOCKED UP WITH THE MATRON

Notice in hospital

 


AN AWFUL CV CAN LOOSE YOU THAT JOB. WE DO THE BEST.

Sign on a college notice board

 


NIGHT WATCHMAN PATROLS THIS AREA 24 HOURS A DAY

Notice on building site

 


REPLACING BATTERY:

REPLACE THE OLD BATTERY WITH A NEW ONE

Directions for mosquito repellent

 


CLOSING DOWN, THANKS TO ALL OUR CUSTOMERS

Notice outside factory

 


VISITORS ARE EXPECTED TO COMPLAIN AT THE OFFICE BETWEEN 9 AND 11 DAILY

Sign in an Athens hotel

 


PLEASE HANG YOUR ORDER BEFORE RETIRING ON YOUR DOORKNOB

Sign in an Ankara hotel

 


VISITORS WITH READING DIFFICULTIES SHOULD PROCEED TO FRONT DESK

FOR INFORMATION

Sign in a Community Centre

 


HOME WANTED FOR FRIENDLY LABRADOR. WILL EAT ANYTHING - LOVES CHILDREN.

Advert posted in shop window

 


WHEN TWO TRAINS APPROACH EACH OTHER AT A CROSSING, THEY SHALL

BOTH STOP AND NEITHER SHALL START UP UNTIL THE OTHER HAS GONE

Law in Kansas

 


THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID

Sign in a Yugoslav hotel

 


GENTS' TROUSERS SLASHED

Sign in a drapery shop

 


WE DISPENSE WITH ACCURACY

Sign in a chemist

 


CORRECTLY ENGLISH IN 100 DAYS

Book title

 


FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COITUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE

Sign in a Hong Kong supermarket

 


CLOSED TONIGHT FOR SPECIAL OPENING

Sign outside night-club

 


IF YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM, YOU SHOULD SEE THE HEAD

School staff-room notice-board

 


IF YOU FEEL WE HAVE FAILED YOU IN ANY WAY WE SHALL BE ONLY TOO PLEASED

TO DO IT AGAIN AT NO EXTRA CHARGE

Sign in a dry-cleaners

 


OUR GIFTS WILL NOT LAST LONG AT THESE PRICES

Sign in a jewellery shop

 


TO STOP THE DRIP, TURN COCK TO RIGHT

In a Finnish toilet

 


ENGLISH WELL TALKING HERE SPEECHING AMERICAN

Sign in a Majorcan shop

 


ALL FIRE EXTINGUISHERS MUST BE EXAMINED AT LEAST TEN DAYS BEFORE

ANY FIRE

Sign in a hotel

 


LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN AT THE BAR

Sign in a Norwegian cocktail lounge

 


PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD GIVE IT

TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Sign in Budapest Zoo

 


NO SMOOTHEN THE LION

Sign on lion cage at Czech zoo

 


ORDER YOUR SUMMERS SUIT. BECAUSE IS BIG RUSH WE WILL EXECUTE

CUSTOMERS IN STRICT ROTATION.

Sign in Rhodes tailor shop

 


GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE

On box of clockwork toy in Hong Kong

 


SPECIALISTS IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES

Sign outside a Rome doctor

 


WE SERVE FIVE O'CLOCK TEA AT ALL HOURS

Sign in Paris restaurant

 


THE SHADIEST COCKTAIL BAR IN TOWN

Sign outside a Bangkok bar

 


SWIMMING FORBIDDEN IN THE ABSENCE OF A SAVIOUR

Sign in French swimming-pool

 


TO CALL ROOM SERVICE, PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR AND CALL ROOM SERVICE

Sign in Istanbul hotel

 


LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A

GOOD TIME

Sign in Rome laundry

 


DO NOT USE THE DIVING BOARD WHEN THE SWIMMING POOL IS EMPTY

Sign in a Sri Lanka swimming pool

 


EARS PIERCED WHILE YOU WAIT. PAY FOR TWO AND GET ANOTHER ONE PIERCED

FREE

Sign in a beauty parlour

 


BROKEN ENGLISH SPOKEN PERFECTLY

Sign in Mexican city hotel

 


GO AWAY!

Sign in Barcelona travel agency