The Purple Chicken

By Handman003 (parts by Yummy Food34)

Chapter 1

Genesis

 

      Once there was a chicken who ate lots of Gornopolis. Well one day he found a nuclear plant.  Not a building, but a plant (the kind with the photosynthesis thingie).  The chicken didn’t notice that it was a nuclear plant.  But it was.  Well the thing is that nuclear plants look like Gornopolis.  So he ate it and turned purple.  He looked at a piece of broken glass and saw that his reflection was purple.  His friends were so perplexed that they went back to sleep early.

      Later that day, at feeding time, right on schedule, the farmer came into the chicken house.  He threw seeds and dried up corn at the purple chicken and his friends.  The farmer didn’t notice that one of his chickens had turned purple, until the purple chicken spat out his usual meal and turned even more purple, especially around his head.  Then, suddenly, as if prompted to do so, the purple chicken screamed in a squeaky tune ,”Eeeeeek! Help me! I feel strange! Wait a minute. I can talk like a farmer now!”  The farmer was so stupefied, that he was out cold within five seconds.

      The other chickens felt left out.  They talked among themselves quite often after this. “Bakok!” “Bak! Bak! Bakok!” they would often be heard saying.  This meant, “Why is he so special?” “Since when can he talk like a farmer person?!?”

 

Chapter 2

Later that week

 

 

      The farmer was asleep for days after that, so the purple chicken started to get out of his cage and do as he pleased.  Luckily, the farmer had been divorced after his mother-in-law “accidentially” died in a car fire, so the chicken was free of worry.  Well, after the farmer woke up he looked at his purple chicken and said “What are you!?”

  The purple chicken said “I am a chicken.”  “But how can this be?” the farmer asked.  “I ate a glowing plant!!!!!!!” the purple chicken said. “Where did you find a glowing plant?!?” the farmer asked.  “Over by the septic tank,” the purple chicken replied.  “I’ve got to tell someone about you,” the farmer rushed the words out of his mouth.  “What!?” the purple chicken exclaimed, as he continued to eat his meal. “It’s off to California,” the farmer merrily said.

 

Chapter 3

Chapter 3!!

     

 

      After a day or two, the farmer and the purple chicken finally reached a big place with a sign that said in big bold letters, “Canada  Land“.  After they left their shaggy old car, some people saw the purple chicken and were so surprised that they exploded. BLOOF! KABLOOMY! Yup, just like that.  The farmer started to talk to some old guy and the chicken overheard it. He was confounded up to his pointy ears. Just then, seemingly from nowhere, a BEAR jumped out of a tree onto the farmer.  The farmer broke his hip, and the bear stumbled to the chicken. Somewhat out of place, a guy walks by screaming “E. N. DOT WIKI PEDIA DOT ORG SLASH WIKI SLASH CORN!!!!!!!!!!”  The bear turned violently and tore towards the strange person with more haste than what my mother uses when she needs to pee. THE END. PANTS!.

~Hand

 

This story is dedicated to ZidaneCT. And my brother.

The two most random people on earth.

 praise/awards

8/5/07 - Pker Dude Jr (Mike)

"[02:25:11] <Mike> il read it... im that bored
[02:25:40] <Mike> hold old are you handman003?
[02:25:56] <handman003> I was 10 or 11 when I wrote that, Mike
[02:26:00] <handman003> :P
[02:26:12] <Mike> its weird its really informal poor gramatical structure etc, and then you use big words like perplexed lol
[02:26:22] <handman003> lol yeah
[02:26:31] <handman003> I've written better stuff.
[02:26:52] <handman003> I was bored though. I wanted to make something strange and original
[02:32:56] <Mike> "After they left their shaggy old car, some people saw the purple chicken and were so surprised that they exploded. BLOOF! KABLOOMY! Yup, just like that. "
[02:33:01] <Mike> that made me LOL :)
[02:34:06] <Mike> very random ending handman003, i applaud
[02:34:25] <Mike> Somewhat out of place, a guy walks by screaming “E. N. DOT WIKI PEDIA DOT ORG SLASH WIKI SLASH CORN!!!!!!!!!!”
"


 Thanks for reading.