Great New Zealand

 


 

I came to New Zealand in 2000+ from very nice country in Europe. I left civilized world and came to “Pacific Paradise”. You can imagine what disappointment it was when I have found poor country looking like my worst dream. In my first two months I have been living with a sect, 7th Day Adventists. They have “captured” me in my first week after arriving to Christchurch. To make it clear - first I've arrived to Auckland. After taking a taxi ($45NZ) and arriving to the Auckland City I almost got robbed by homeless sniffing glue idiot. I walked around for the whole day and after finding city full of people of different cultures and bad food I jumped into Inter City bus and left to Christchurch. Imagine what was my surprise when I've realized that it is not a mild climate, in winter during a day it is around 15'C and at night it can be from -10'C up to -15'C. The bus traveled most of the night, it did not have heating working so temperature inside was almost zero degrees for $130 one way. In the early morning we arrived to Wellington. We bordered on ferry and after 3.5h (around 100km) got to Picton. From Picton it took around 5 hours and we landed in Christchurch. In the first day I got a room in a hostel for $30 per night and have been sleeping like a dead for 12h to make up for the time difference and the general fatigue. So as I said after first week a cult captured me and offered free room in a house of their priest, basically they came and packed me up and I had no choice. He was Maori. Very good guy but swearing on white people like a sailor. Please notice that he never worked in his life, living on benefit from government, got a house, food, energy and basically everything from government for free. He used to work illegally few hours a week fixing roads with his friends. So I am not sure why he was unhappy, in the end white pigs “Pakeha” gave him and other Maoris everything. But this subject I will analyze later. So I have been living with these people around two months and got very good look how they live and eat. The Cult was like 50 people and only one was working in big electronic company. (...because economy is running down this company is shifting production overseas, the some as heaps of already out of here, most moved to China or around – Congratulations Helen Clark you done well!) So during this time I have gained pretty nice idea how real Kiwi live – basically like a pigs and no wonder why Maoris were calling them White Pigs in the past. Dirt, rubbish and stink is a normal ordinary Kiwis house. Of course you cannot take it as a rule but you can estimate that some percentage (the bigger one - knowledge based on my experience) lives like that. So after two months of praying and loading dollars into Head Office on 7th Day Adventists Church in USA I decided to run. I left my friends and started living like a human on my own. In first four months of my existence in New Zealand I have lost around $25000 as NZ dollar was almost head in head with my national currency, New Zealand is set up like a vacuum cleaner to suck outsiders money. So after I lost all my money I had to do something to pay my bills. Lucky me I have got temporary job as a cleaner on building site so I did not have to sell my ass on the corner of the streets. After a month I have got an offer to work for local company as a technician. So once I have got a job and local permits and visas I could start normal life. I was close to come back home but as I said I needed to get my money back so I decided to stay, work and learn English. In New Zealand as an outsider you will be treated as a monkey doing worst kind of work. So I was working in the third world as a monkey. Doing installation in the buildings. During 2.5 years of work in the business I became a specialist in the field and advanced to the foreman position, I need to point here that at home I was designing the systems which in NZ I was installing. I tell you that in New Zealand such things like a safety and protecting the employee does not exist. NZ is on the top as third country in the world in classification of death and injuries in work place. I gained all sort of injuries and illnesses like f****ed back, f****ed lunges and ears plus skin illness “ringworm linea”. Once I got p***ed off with it and went to the doctor to sort out my back I got diagnosed with possible disc dislocation but she was not sure and said that is not a point in exact problem finding as long I can walk. So I have nice certificate from the best back doctor on Sth Island saying that I may be sick but may also be not sick. As a treatment I was sent to gym. As far as I know when a person has problems with discs the gym is the last thing to do. So I gave up and decided to suck as much I can of New Zealand and f**k off and leave this s**t world and come back home. Next three years I have been working in New Zealand as a technician but in different field, I changed my occupation twice this time. Over this time I completed a few trainings and became an engineer rescuing all s**t nobody could rescue. In all companies I used to work I saw lack of professionalism and s**t all of kind. Kiwis are inaccurate, lazy and having everything deeply in the a**. So everywhere I was working my job was basically doing my job and fixing somebody's work, I was installing, programming, designing, and f***en fixing all s**t nobody could. I have got at some stage of my life so p***ed off because of it that I started swearing on all poor b****rds trying to cheat or skip their work like screwing something to the wall with one screw when should be there four of it. I have found that most of locals try to use shortcuts to get their job done and they do not take any responsibility for the things they do, they do not even think that someone can get injured because of their irresponsibility. So if you drive on the bridge you cannot be sure if it will collapse or not. After almost three years we (me and my wife) moved to Auckland. In Christchurch we used to be poor, the wages in there are low and everyone is looking to cheat you so they can get one dollar more of your pocket. The power bills are sky rocketing, firstly because electrical installations in most of houses are s***ty and old, secondly power meters are not maintained and I can bring to my memory that some of it was like 50+ years old, thirdly all devices are old thus power consuming. Our average bills were $150 during summer up to $350 in winter. In New Zealand all houses are mainly 50+ old wooden “card boxes” without any insulation. It is just empty space between 1cm thick weather board outside and gib board inside. When temperature drops down up to -15'C in Christchurch inside you will have with all heaters on like 2'C if you are lucky. Imagine 80% humidity and here you go, you freeze to the bones. My maximum hourly rate was $17 before tax as a technician, my wife was getting $8.65 as a cleaner in the “Big” Hotel, she could not get a job anywhere else, once she heard from employment agency that “you b*******dy immigrants are coming here and taking our jobs”. I need to point here that she speaks 4 languages fluently and got higher degree in tourism. You will find easily that 80% of Kiwis can speak s**t all and their English is poor and most of them can't even spell properly. I do not mention education issues as such thing does not exist here. In comparison to my country it is just a joke. It was around 2003. So when we payed all bills and rent we got enough cash to buy a Vodka once a week and that is f**k all we could buy. We used to smoke cigs (do not mix with “weed” as KIWIS smoke it like a cigs, I used to joke that “magic mushrooms” is New Zealand national dish and “weed” is cigs replacement) this time so I remember cigs took most of our money. One pack of Marlboro is around $11, 2 packs a day for us and you can count $620 a month. We tried to quit five times but we could not as in New Zealand cigs are full of s**t and addictive chemicals and no one is controlling how much of it is in it. For example some European countries have restrictions how much of chemicals can be added in to cigs. In New Zealand you do what you like. After we left Christchurch and moved to Auckland we have found “bigger and better world”. Auckland is a s***hole but you can get there more money so you can live better standard. Auckland is basically big Christchurch and is twice more s***ty. If you look on Wellington you find it in opposition to the s***hole. One good thing in Auckland is that nobody asks you so often WHERE ARE YOU FROM. They do not even speak proper English because if you ask for somebody's origin you ask WHERE DO YOU COME FORM. We have found that KIWI mostly are poor creatures living from day to day using their five visa cards to cover debts and drinking booze, they are badly educated and most of them know where is the sky and that is f***en all they know. You know, in Christchurch we have learned how to hate most of Kiwis because of ignorance and zero tolerance, in Auckland we learned how to hate Indians and Pacific Islanders. I would never say in the past that I will become a racist but now I know that is possible and I know that New Zealand made me like that. Auckland is full of worst kind of people, I never saw in Europe such human scam. Indians are horrible, they cheat and always try to f**k you up. They build little India wherever they go and usually it looks like a dump hole. Most of Indians are dirty people, they do not know what clean house means and properly done job, plus some stink very badly. I saw just few clean and “up to the standard” families. All they know is how to make a “Dairy” shop where dirt is killing flies and all is 4 times more expensive than in the supermarket. Honestly I do not tolerate Indians any more and I am very aggressive when I have to do anything with them as I have no more patience for slow motion and cheating with smile on the face (All Indians live and move in slow motion so sometimes you can get crazy if you have to wait to get something done quickly, mind please Indians from India, others are different and mostly better ones.). Most of Indians tried to steal from me or cheat on me and I am not friendly with them anymore. Next big problem in Auckland are Pacific Islanders and Maori. Most of them are locked up in the prisons. They steal, rape, and kill. Most of rapes as well as rest of all crimes is committed by Pacific Islanders and Maori and 90% of prisons population is them. It is usually twice or three times more events than in Europe. Lots of tourists is robbed or raped on their dream holidays in New Zealand. Lately fresh blood was spoiled by Dutch tourists traveling in camper van around New Zealand. They were attacked by 2 Maoris at night, she was raped and he was beaten for few days, they drove this camper van and had a fun for few days. German tourist never came home, she was killed and dumped in the bush. Lots of robberies are on tourists as they are easy target. Police is not able to do anything about it as basically is not enough of them to monitor this large area. I have got so many problems with Maori people because basically they treat you as an intruder and make you feel this way, some of them told me in the face that F**K OFF GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY, they do not even speak English properly. They will do that to Kiwis born in NZ the same like to anyone else. Very popular way of rape is to kidnap a lady off the street and f**k her in the van and next dump outside of the city. Samoans and Tongans are another population of Auckland, a part of them is very aggressive to everyone because of GANGSTA and HIPHOP and part are Christians not knowing what sort of religion they believe in, but they know they are Christians, they do not tolerate anyone else and are discriminating other nations, they do not even bother to pretend to be nice. Maori people and Pacific Islanders group in few areas of Auckland, it is easy to discover the places because once you get there you will see suburbs run down, rubbish around, homeless dogs and all kind of s**t. After three years of living in Auckland I hated every single place where they are as I never could leave my service vehicle without supervision and walk safely. I used to work in service and after three years I knew all places in the city as well what suburbs I should avoid. After 1.5 years in Auckland finally we were able to buy a house. We got lucky and two streets from us were located state houses (government cheap accommodation), so basically all “brownies” and Indians were living there. Worse part of it is that government is trying to put this houses everywhere so if you buy a house for a million of dollars you may find out that just next street are living HIPHOP idiots in the state houses and you will have no life there. When I sold this house I was the happiest man in the world. Once we are here I have to say that property prices in Auckland and NZ are astronomically high. For $300000+ we have bought run down house build 1950+ on 600+m section. For example in Australia for this money you buy new house located the same distance from the city. Rates for the house you need to pay twice, one is the City Council and another one is government rates. Very often you pay twice for the same things. We used to pay almost $3000 a year. So with bank interest not everyone is capable to afford own house. In a week we had to pay $600+, after paying bills once a month we had exactly week without any cash and always debts around $1000, we were very well situated young couple with a very good income in NZ standards. We have sold the house, run from run down streets and rented apartment in the city. There we have got nice neighborhood as most of students were living there. I do not know if you know but in New Zealand it is very popular to have a car tuned up “without exhaust system”, I mean it is a kind with very big exhaust pipe. The amount of noise it creates is hard to stand, some of these cars are so loud you cannot stand next to it. Most of drivers are mindless 17+y old kids. We had a neighbour with a noisy car. Each time he drove into the garage my all furnitures moved around the room. Best was 3AM when all people needed to wake up because our 30+ old kid had to drive home. Worst of it? NZ is full of idiots like that, people with no respect to anything and anyone. We had good times as well in NZ. But it was lots less than this bad onces which I remember best. NZ is very nice country. Problem is in it that after this all six years we have got too much of nice views, beaches and mountains and water falls, and all kind of nice s**t. We could not enjoy any holidays because basically we saw this all nice views so many times and if it is too much, it is too much. We started enjoying ruins and holes in the streets as it was some beauty in it. Our bigger problem during all years was lack of cash so all holidays were s**t. We had a time to go but no money for it. It was not only our problem, most of our friends in the same situation were poor - with a time but no money to spend on themselves. It took five years to get decent jobs with good money and start living up to the European standard. In Europe I was well paid so you know... Most of our good time in NZ were these days when we could drink Vodka. Why is that? Simple as NZ is so boring, I think on the moon I would find more life than in NZ. In all pubs KIWIs are drunk, they do not have a thing called culture, they do not have a heritage, the only thing they have is Rugby. As one wise man said in the past “give the crowd games and they will forget about the bread” so government is feeding them with mindless rugby 24/7. They are farting and burping in public places. They have no limitations and act like animals. In my whole time in NZ I saw few natives which I could call human, rest of them are sheep, if I would count I would say it would be 20/80. In NZ we can count around 4 millions of human beings and over 40,000,000 sheep. You can split humans like that:

Sth Island mostly are White Pigs and Asians, most of Asians are located in Christchurch and mainly they are students.

Nth Island mostly are Asians, Pacific Islanders/Maori, Indians then White Pigs. Here I have to say that is very nice of Maori people to call me a Pig “Pakeha”, I do not recall calling them Black S**t! Pakeha in translation will be White Pig so thank you Maori People. The real 100% blood Maori does not exist. Most of them are people with white ancestors and now they found great opportunity to make a money on the rest of population. So Samoans and Tongans and half brown sons and daughters of white man are calling themselves Maori and suck off the rest of population as much as they can. Most of them even cannot speak in Maori (As far I remember there is 300000 Maoris and 5% can speak their language). Stupid government is giving them all they order as they do not ask any more, they order or demand as you like. They say that White Pig cheated on them and took their land so now they claim it back. This way half of the World should make claims and nuke other nations around... I do not see a point why I have to pay for somebodies easy life. The situation is so bad that I started worrying if some “peace of s**t” will come to my house one day and say “you pig f**k off, from now it is my house and you are not welcome here any more, I am Maori bro, it is my land...”. I do not understand as well why I had to pay in rates for all parks and volcanic valleys and bushes, etc. Wherever you want to go you will have to pay. So “HELEN” please tell me why do I have to pay if I already paid?!?!? Ok so lets see NZ government in the zoom. The government is half/half. Last election Labour Party won 1.5% above National Party. Helen Clark went out of her house drank at night and gave in the Labour Party hall sort of speech. It was so similar to Adolf Hitler's speeches that I started joking with my wife that soon we will have NATZI in NZ. (Helen when do you fix your face? Photoshop is not the limit.) In NZ government we have transsexuals as MPs, they have been selling their a*se on K Rd in Auckland, than started looking for a better life and went into politics, it is not too far as now they sell their assets in Parliament. NZ government is so chaotic that sometimes I could compare them with kindergarten. They do one thing and when they find it wrong they say that it was not them it was the opposition... But because government is the head of the country is shows the real New Zealand. Country of mostly dumb nation. Lets say now about immigration. Basically it stands like that: If you are “Brown” you enter, if you are “White” you enter but you pay lots of cash, if you are from Asia you enter as well but nobody knows how. I have spend for immigration lots of cash, basically everything you do costs you money. I have lost like $8000+ for this all s**t. NZ tells you that you should be grateful for this opportunity and kiss their a*s. I am not grateful, I paid for it so I feel like doing a shopping, I pay and I get. If it would be for free or symbolic $-s amount I would say – ok, thank you, it is nice of you New Zealand. But I lost lots of my time and lots of my money so I do not feel grateful for anything. After some time everyone gets citizenship, it is nice, it costs $1000 a head plus $150 for a passport, so I would never say that is an honour to get NZ passport as all idiots get it sooner or later, most of them cannot even speak English which is part of the requirements for citizenship. By the way I never will apply for citizenship as I do not want to be called New Zealander, it is offensive, I never replace my EU passport for NZ passport. I do not know if you remember one of the movies with Bruce Lee "Enter of Dragon 1973", there you can find great example of KIWI man and the reaction on his behavior :). In the end of this tale we decided to go around NZ and see all of it when finally we had money. 2 months before it I bought a car. I have nicely asked a KIWI man what is wrong with this car? I paid and said, ok man you have sold it, so please tell me what needs to be fixed as I have to go around the country and I do not want to be stuck somewhere in the deep bush. He almost kissed my a*s glorifying the car. And guess what. I had to fix lots of things. None of it was so bad so he had to skip it. He could say without shame that battery is not the best condition and needs to be done, and as well oil is old, etc. Instead of it he has put a sticker from Mobil that oil is only 600km old. When I replaced it I have found that is older that me! So what is the point of being such s**t, what if I would really stop in deep, high mountains or bush and die of -10'C as people drive there once in 2 days and cell phones are dead? I would not say a single word about it in Europe as I know that people are cheating there and you get what you see. In New Zealand they build image of New Zealanders as great honest nation, people with great tolerance and trust. All I have found in my time in NZ is one big lie and stink after it. They are worse than Europe as in Europe I know that if they say keep off I have to do it and no one is going to repeat it. In NZ they smile and keep you fooled as good and great they are, and they pull dollars out of your pocket. But in reality it is the same sh**t like everywhere else. Asia in NZ? Mafia and poor people from China. “Little speak English”. They kill each other, they steal from each other, and is more of them and more. I just do not know how they get into NZ, I as a qualified person with skills and proven experience from Europe needed to fight 3+ years to get permanent residence, I speak English on high level, and they do not speak English at all, most of them got fake qualifications, and they do not really know how to do anything properly. I have found that only quality you get is from Europeans and South Africans. Most of KIWI, Indians, Asians do things fast or slow, bad and ugly. The government is making so many problems to Europeans during immigration process but is somehow forgetting that Europeans are lifting this country and rest of the “nations” is running the country down. KIWIs have no standards because long time they used to do things themselves and it is not their fault that NZ is so isolated from the world. Now when is good opportunity to bring fresh blood and mind to NZ and build it up they let in Pacific Islanders and Indians and Asians, none of these peoples is interested in building NZ up. All they want is some place to build new Samoa or India or China. So be it, lets make NZ “New CHINA”. During my time in prison called “New Zealand” I have got worst services ever by companies like Telecom, etc. In Europe you go to the office, you wait, you sign the papers or orders, and it is done. In NZ you do all things over the phone, as in call centers mainly are working Indians or the call center is outsourced to India the service is so bad that at my final stage I had to call twice or more just to confirm if the order went through. There is no point to describe all of it but short conclusion is one: I have never experienced so bad service in my life, it was all around of me, incompetence, lack of knowledge, laziness, it drove me nut. Simple example, in 2005 I had to wait 2 hours on the phone to get answer why my f**ken email is not working over pop/smtp and only access I got is over web. The answer was simple, if you do not use their Internet plan Telecom is allowing you to have an email in Xtra which belongs to them, but is restricting access to web only. Was it so f**ken difficult to find? Why call center operators had to put me from one to another one for two hours?!?!? Lots of things like that. Finally when I left this s**t hole and came back home I have decided to close my account in Vodafone, they are over some changes to “improve” the service, it is great. I was waiting 2.5 f**king long hours for some poor b***ard to answer this call. Guess what? I have tried next and next and that is all. When I used their web service to send the call request I have got nice email saying that if I need to get an answer I need to push the “confirm” button. Cool – guess what again? No f**ken button anywhere! So I will try again and again as long it takes. The day came on and we have been ready to go around New Zealand...It took 3 days as we had always something to cancel like a phone line and if you imagine that I had to wait 1.5h on the phone to cancel service with Telecom you know why it took 3 days. When we finally left we drove at night and landed at 10PM in one of bigger tourists focused place. You must know that in NZ all f**ken Motels are closed after 8PM, so after some desperate search we got place to sleep. The place was great, we got wireless Internet, kitchen and bed, I can't complaint. It was nice but...but what? All motels build 1950 so I felt like in old James Bond movies. I sat on the chair and the top broke. It was ok...things like it are possible...I started looking why and I have found that all of it was broken before and some great “TECHnician” tried to fix it. I think my wife would fix it better. All motels we drove were expensive...$80-$115 for a studio. It does not make a difference if it was in Rotorua or in some Gods forgotten town...I need to remind you that it was after summer time so you can expect twice more $ during it. We drove from Auckland to the top and next down. We were sleeping each day somewhere as sun goes down after 5 PM so it is too dark and we could not see much. Generally most of our travel was nice and we had good weather. I need to warn you about NZ drivers. THEY ARE IDIOTS BEHIND A WHEEL, they speed, drive drunk, and like to drive 100km/h like 2m from your bumper with high beams on. In NZ the biggest problem on the roads are drunk drivers, mainly out of towns, they drive to the local PUB from all farms around, drink there and next drive home. Most of scenic roads are narrow and you can't go there more than 60km/h. I saw idiots driving more than 100km and over crossing next line on bends. In 5000kms I almost got killed 5 times. First was drunk over speeding Maori lady driving on half of my line, second farmer with the some problem, and next HIPHOP idiots and young kids in too fast cars. Because I have driven a car since 1990 and I have done so many kilometers behind a wheel I know this all things and I am alive, every weekend unfortunately lots of people die because this basic stupid rules, YOU SPEED YOU KILL OR DIE, YOU DRINK AND DRIVE YOU KILL OR DIE. In TV they have so many Ads about it but because they are Proud KIWI they still do it and kill people. In NZ driver license is a joke, it is not like in Europe that you need to sit exams and practical training. You learn road code (read: joke), pass it and you have permit to drive with someone with a full license. No training, no rules, no real exams. So every day in Auckland there is so many accidents that the city is always paralyzed. F**k them, I am out of this s**t. You must know that New Zealand is a beautiful country, I say that is like that because 4 millions is unable to kill it. They kill and poison worse than in Europe. Amount of chemicals loaded in food, soil and water is unbelievable. Water in 15% of the country is a poison and should not be consumed, but still is. If you drive around main scenic routes you will find clean country. Nice, they clean it. We drove using far routes to see the real country side. We have found rubbish, dumped cars, tools, home appliances, bottles and all sort of s**t. We saw rivers so dirty that you could not see the bottom. If you think that way, all small towns needs to dump their waste. Usually it is a river. The river goes around few towns so on the end it is dead brownish/greenish stream. In New Zealand is only 4000000 humans, Melbourne in Australia is the same population size, I would say that if NZ would be squeezed on same area it would be impossible to walk free of rubbish. “So we drove, and drove, stopping at night, having parties with a desert creatures”, from town to town, and after this all trip we could say that we saw nothing unusual. I say: NZ is so expensive...we had to pay like a $50 a head for 1.5h trip on the boat in Milford Sound around the fiord. In Europe for this amount I could get 8h up to 10h trip along Baltic sea coast. In Rotorua we had to pay $35 a head as far I remember to enter volcanic valley. $65 was for ride around lake in old crater. I need to say that tourism base is poor. All is expensive, you get s**tty services, and minimum can be done. Most of Hotels and Motels got fleas and it is common problem in this country. Best hotels will serve you room with it. We have been so bitten that I could not enjoy most of my ride around NZ. In Milford Sound is even better as you can't get decent accommodation there. The place is nice but I would say not worth its advertising. There is only one Hostel where power is off after 11PM. So if is cold at night you freeze. If it is full you are f**ked and sleep in the car. Most of our experiences with tourism I can describe like a third category s**t for top of category price. They should go and see Austria and learn as they never ever been close to it. I think my problem in NZ is that I expect too much as I came from Europe and can't stand this crap they found everywhere. I can't enjoy holidays because when I have to pay mountains of dollars for a s**t, I can't see this nice landscapes and all I see is my shrinking wallet. When I have to live in this “village” and pay like for New York's top class suburbs and pay ultra high tax I do not enjoy close beaches and bushes as I have no cash left for a petrol to drive there. When we ended out ride in Christchurch we needed to sell a car. And there I saw real face of NEW ZEALANDERS. I would not have a heart to see a car for $3000 and offer $200, when they heard that I am leaving back to Europe they tried to get it for zero dollars. I just could not believe it. Max top bid I have got from car dealer was $700. So I have sold it my self, in quick option I have got in 2 days $1700 which is far better than $200. New Zealanders will try to get of you as much they can for minimum payment. I saw lots of people like that, in Europe we used to call them squeeze pockets or fast money makers. All of them earlier or later landed in hospital with broken legs. In NZ it is legal and if you are an idiot and let them fool you, you will lose all your money. I have lost it in the beginning, and lots of people I know which started the same way here. So when I got my money back and sucked NZ as much I could I have left and now enjoy life more I could ever imagine. My final conclusion is that NZ is over advertised, semi Europa pretending third African country deeply on the middle of the pimple of the arse of the World. Full of self glorifying apes. It is not worth the time and money people put in it. In Australia New Zealanders are called “sheep f**kers” and I think it is most correct description for most of them which can be made. New Zealand is for a years oscillating from 3 up to 4 millions population. In Australia in 2006 biggest group of immigrants was from New Zealand and is still growing. People are coming there (NZ) because of advertisement and next run after few years as they see that is a crap not “Pacific Paradise”. I never will say that I am New Zealander, it would be the biggest offense if anyone would call me this name. So “be well” and have you great time there in the biggest fake of the World. I hope you enjoyed this text.

02.06.2007

What is New Zealand's real problem?

New Zealanders do not know how to laugh at themselves!

Try to find any bad auditions of NZ Idol? You will be in big trouble, I could find only good ones, when John Cleese said about NZ city:

http://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/mndwebpages/cleese%20blasts%20new%20zealand%20city_08_03_2006

" British funnyman JOHN CLEESE has offended the residents of a New Zealand city, after describing Palmerston North as a "suicide capital". The A FISH CALLED WANDA star travelled around the Antipodean nation for his MY LIFE, TIMES AND CURRENT MEDICAL PROBLEMS tour, last year (05). In his online diary, Cleese was brutally honest about his experiences in Palmerston North, saying, "If you wish to kill yourself but lack the courage to, I think a visit to Palmerston North will do the trick. "We stayed in a little motel, the weather was grotty, the theatre was a nasty shape and the audience was very strange to play to. "We had a thoroughly, bloody miserable time there and we were so happy to get out." The mayor of Palmerston North, HEATHER TANGUAY, fumes, "Obviously he still has trouble with his medical problems and may need some more medication." Tourism official JULIA SANSON says, "We are just sorry that John didn't have more time in Palmerston North and the Manawatu region to form a qualified opinion. I think we all know not to take him too seriously." "

The City Citizens named garbage heap by his name.

This is typical in NZ. They have all rights to make a jokes or name people very bad but when someone says truth about NZ or part of it you can see what is the reaction.

Mixed reaction to Kiwi fans in Valencia

10:00AM Thursday June 14, 2007

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/event/story.cfm?c_id=531&objectid=10445637

Kiwi fans in Valencia have been given a very mixed report card from fellow fans at the America's Cup.

In emails from Valencia to nzherald.co.nz, some said they were ashamed of the behaviour of New Zealanders, while others said the Kiwis are adding to the colour of the event.

The issue has arisen after Alinghi syndicate head Ernesto Bertarelli accused Team new Zealand supporters of souring the regatta by abusing Kiwi members of his syndicate.

Bertarelli's remarks in the New York Times were a reminder of the depth of feeling which existed at the 2003 regatta in Auckland when bitter criticism was directed at the New Zealand sailors who left Team New Zealand for Alinghi.

"The aggression toward our Kiwis, I mean, it's seven years now," Bertarelli said. "Let it be. Let it go."

To gauge the level of feeling, we asked New Zealand fans in Valencia to file their take.

Some said Alinghi was simply getting far less crowd support than Team New Zealand and that Bertarelli was engaging in gamesmanship.

But others said New Zealanders were abusing Alinghi, its team and supporters.

One New Zealander, who identified himself only as Mark, has been in Valencia for the past three months and said he enjoyed the atmosphere until "loads of drunken Kiwis" turned up for the Louis Vuitton finals. He said they chanted "4-nil" outside the Luna Rossa base before the final race and there is growing embarrassment at some of the New Zealand behaviour.

Another fan, Tim Smyth, wrote: "The behaviour of kiwi fans in Valencia does make me ashamed to be from NZ. Many are drunk by early evening and Spanish friends of mine have seen them vomiting in the streets. Insults were often hurled at Alinghi and Oracle as their boats pass through the narrow canal and on occasion empty cans and fruit have been thrown also."

An American in Spain for the Cup wrote to us that the Kiwi fans are turning the mood ugly. "Elizabeth" wrote: "We have been out on spectator boats with our small children and because we support Alinghi, we have been unrelentingly booed and jeered by Emirate fans.

"Unsportsmanlike Kiwis (aside from those on the Emirates Team NZ) abound here in Valencia. They scream into the Alinghi base, they boo and yell "traitors" every time the Alinghi yachts leave the harbour, they have disrupted families cheering for Luna Rossa yelling "Why bother? They are gonna lose anyway!"

"It is over the line of being competitive and has become mean spirited."

Another New Zealander living in Valencia for four years described the Kiwis as being "rude, abusive and can't handle the cheap alcohol and late closing hours. NZ shameful binge drinking heritage is being shown to the world over here."

But others believed that the atmosphere was good and that New Zealanders are being treated well and treating people well in return.

Lauren, a New Zealand exchange student, said the atmosphere was good and pointed out that Emirates Team New Zealand has a good cadre of supporters "because we New Zealanders are like that".

Another Kiwi, Vicki, said she had witnessed no acts of bad behaviour and was warmly welcomed in Valencia.

"Everywhere I went with my inflatable Kiwi I was welcomed and often approached to talk about New Zealand and what a spectacular place I was so lucky to be from."

Huia Burt said there was a good atmosphere among the "small but vocal group of Kiwi fans".

"I spent time both at the big screen in the village and out on the water and didn't hear one insult towards the Alinghi sailors."

Another New Zealander pointed out that Alinghi is simply getting far less crowd support than Team New Zealand.

"After just getting back from Valencia I would say he (Bertarelli) is just worried about how much awesome support Team NZ has over there compared to what the Swiss boat is going to get," said Ringo.

"It would be a pretty dull atmosphere there without us!"

- NZ HERALD STAFF

What can I say. It is normal, I saw it so many times that won't even comment it.

NZ on hunt for more millionaires

5:00AM Thursday June 07, 2007
By Claire Trevett
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/topic/story.cfm?c_id=231&objectid=10444062

A Government bid to attract more millionaire migrants gives the richest first dibs on places, fast tracks their applications and removes most of the obstacles other aspiring residents face.

In return, the millionaires have to actively invest a portion of their money by buying into or setting up local businesses to boost employment and the economy.

Immigration Minister David Cunliffe, launching the policy yesterday, said the new arrangement - capped at 300 investors plus family members a year - would start in November and was designed to attract serious investment here as well as ensure such investors used their money in local businesses to boost the economy and create jobs.

Under the new policy, investors cannot leave the "active" portion of their funds in bank accounts - they must either directly or indirectly invest money here. However, investment in residential property developments is banned for the active funds.

The remaining funds must be in a "semi-active" investment, which could include the migrant investing in a local company without becoming a significant shareholder or in managed funds.

Mr Cunliffe expected the total number of residencies under the policy to be about 1000, once the 300 millionaires included family members.

The new policy was prompted by a slump in the number of investors from more than 1000 a year to just 18 this year after a rule change in 2005 which allowed the Government to hold $2 million in funds for five years and control the type of investment businesses..

Association for Migration and Investment chairman Bernard Walsh said immigration policy alone would not result in a flood of millionaires.

"We are competing against many other economies for investors, and without more harmonisation between immigration and taxation laws and general investment policies, I don't think this will be enough to attract the kind of investor we are hoping to get."

Mr Walsh, an adviser who specialises in business and investor migrants, said the new policy did remove many of the flaws of the existing policy by allowing investors to make a commercial return on the money, rather than handing it over to the Government. Other incentives were the dropping of the language and age requirements.

National immigration spokesman Lockwood Smith said Labour was mopping up the mess it had made with its initial 2005 policy but the new policy was a step in the right direction.

"An important element is the active investment component, rather than making people put it into Government bonds which no entrepreneur wants to do."

Business New Zealand productivity specialist Nicholas Green said the changes provided more incentives. "Changing from a requirement to invest with the Government to investing in New Zealand businesses is more realistic and more likely to result in innovation and productivity improvements."

Cartoon: New immigration policy

5:00AM Sunday June 10, 2007
By Trace Hodgson

He He, if I had that amount of money I would never come to NZ, maybe for holidays...It must be fool who will give them most of his founds just to get PR....it is a real joke made by NZ Govt...After few years I left this sh...thole country as I could not stand it, I need to mention that I have nice savings on my account as well but NZ have nothing to offer in exchange...Poor ba....ds think that they will find fools who will invest their cash into most unstable economy in the civilized world...


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But others said New Zealanders were abusing Alinghi, its team and supporters.

One New Zealander, who identified himself only as Mark, has been in Valencia for the past three months and said he enjoyed the atmosphere until "loads of drunken Kiwis" turned up for the Louis Vuitton finals. He said they chanted "4-nil" outside the Luna Rossa base before the final race and there is growing embarrassment at some of the New Zealand behaviour.

Another fan, Tim Smyth, wrote: "The behaviour of kiwi fans in Valencia does make me ashamed to be from NZ. Many are drunk by early evening and Spanish friends of mine have seen them vomiting in the streets. Insults were often hurled at Alinghi and Oracle as their boats pass through the narrow canal and on occasion empty cans and fruit have been thrown also."

An American in Spain for the Cup wrote to us that the Kiwi fans are turning the mood ugly. "Elizabeth" wrote: "We have been out on spectator boats with our small children and because we support Alinghi, we have been unrelentingly booed and jeered by Emirate fans.

"Unsportsmanlike Kiwis (aside from those on the Emirates Team NZ) abound here in Valencia. They scream into the Alinghi base, they boo and yell "traitors" every time the Alinghi yachts leave the harbour, they have disrupted families cheering for Luna Rossa yelling "Why bother? They are gonna lose anyway!"

"It is over the line of being competitive and has become mean spirited."

Another New Zealander living in Valencia for four years described the Kiwis as being "rude, abusive and can't handle the cheap alcohol and late closing hours. NZ shameful binge drinking heritage is being shown to the world over here."

But others believed that the atmosphere was good and that New Zealanders are being treated well and treating people well in return.

Lauren, a New Zealand exchange student, said the atmosphere was good and pointed out that Emirates Team New Zealand has a good cadre of supporters "because we New Zealanders are like that".

Another Kiwi, Vicki, said she had witnessed no acts of bad behaviour and was warmly welcomed in Valencia.

"Everywhere I went with my inflatable Kiwi I was welcomed and often approached to talk about New Zealand and what a spectacular place I was so lucky to be from."

Huia Burt said there was a good atmosphere among the "small but vocal group of Kiwi fans".

"I spent time both at the big screen in the village and out on the water and didn't hear one insult towards the Alinghi sailors."

Another New Zealander pointed out that Alinghi is simply getting far less crowd support than Team New Zealand.

"After just getting back from Valencia I would say he (Bertarelli) is just worried about how much awesome support Team NZ has over there compared to what the Swiss boat is going to get," said Ringo.

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"It would be a pretty dull atmosphere there without us!"

- NZ HERALD STAFF