You might be a redneck from Grant Florida if.....


What does someone from Grant Florida do when his truck breaks down?
He builds a house around it .......

 You might be a  redneck  from Grant Florida if:

 

You have a steel hangar in your yard for your RV

Your RV has not left your driveway in 10 years

The only place you've ever been in your RV is Ocala

You have a Grant Seafood Festival shotglass collection

You have NASCAR themed dishes, Christmas ornaments, pillows, rugs and trash cans and you are proud of them.

You have an original Guy Harvey shirt for formal occasions

You think that the ultimate cultural event is the Grant Seafood Festival

 

Directions to your house include "pass the house with the giant, fabricated, half finished rock in the front yard and then turn right"

 

 

Your wife has a beer belly   and you find it attractive

You bought your kids a trampoline instead of a computer

You've been on TV describing the smoke from the fire

You have chickens, goats or peacocks in your front yard

 

Your dog is fatter than you are

You've been fired from your job for shooting dogs

You have a dog named Rusty, Brandy, Nellie or Rascal

You & your dog like to pee on mailbox posts

 

You spent more on your RV than your education

Taking your wife on a cruise means driving to Sebastian

You have windows painted on your house

You consider Ozzy's a "five star" restaurant for special occasions

You shop at the Dollar Store because you don't like to get all dressed up for the Walmart

 

 

There is a Wild Hog paint ball club in your neighborhood

 

 

 Your community center Halloween costume party is "adults only"

You put signs up in your front yard to send messages to neighbors

You proposed to your wife at the Daytona Motor Speedway

 

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You live near people who have: kids in rehab or juvie, trash all over the yard, lost a leg, Confederate flags, or a mailbox shaped like a cow

 

 

Your biggest fashion dilemma: should you wear plaid or leather to the Grant Seafood Fest

You are jealous because your neighbor has a bigger garage than you

Your neighbors think you are an idiot because you built a silo in your yard

You STILL believe Bush is doing a good job

You live in Grant Florida and you like it

 

 Good ole boys from Grant: "we live here and we like it...." 

Grant Florida Dictionary:

GOOD OLE BOY - adjective. A local from Grant Florida.
"There goes Mike, another good ole boy with no sense, class or money."

 

ARTERY - noun. The study of paintings or art.
"Hey, they got some real nice artery down at the Micco library."

BAR CODE - noun. The rules of the local bars.
"She's always gettin in fights and ignorin the bar code at RJ's Pub"

DILATE- noun. To live long
"That boy in't gonna dilate, he moved outta Grant a couple of years ago"

FARN - adjective. Not local.
"Those people act all uppity like they is from some farn country."

GRANT TOOL BOX - noun. A toolbox containing only WD 40 and duct tape. "Get your Grant toolbox, the Christmas tree is falling over again!"

JAWJUH - noun. Georgia - A state just north of Florida.
"He bard my pickup truck and went to JawJuh."

MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
"He bard my pickup truck and went to Jawjah, and I aint herd from him in munts."

NODE - noun. I knew it.
"I node those people were too good for this redneck town."

 

The image “http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j120/jhemp41/redneck.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.Grant Florida Jokes:

 What do you call a room full of women from Grant? 

A full set of teeth!

 

How can you tell a rich Grant family from a poor Grant family?

The rich family has TWO cars up on blocks in the yard.

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