Easter Story

Three Chinese businessmen, Wu, Li, and Ping, all go out one April day for a Sushi lunch. On the freeway, a drunken cement truck driver overturns onto their Subaru compact, resulting in a terrible crash. All three are killed instantly. At once, they are whisked up to Heaven.

St. Peter intercepts them at the Pearly Gates.

"Welcome to heaven, Gentlemen. How can I help you?"

"Oh, we hear so much about Christian Heaven. Please--we want to spend eternity!" say the three Chinamen.

A bit flustered, St. Peter scans his clipboard, and responds.

"Hmm... it says here that you're Buddhist."

"No, no; must spend eternity in Christian Heaven. Please, suh, it seem so very nice!"

St. Peter brightens and says, "Wonderful, Gentlemen. Your first prequisite to entering into Eternal Life is that you must prove that you know a little something about Christianity. First, my dear friend Wu, explain the holiday of Easter.

"Ah! Eas'uh! Amerrican Rerrigious Horriday. Man in red suit. Slide down chimney. Lots of presents. Many people, very happy!"

St. Peter responds. "Oh, I am sorry, but that is not correct. Li, perhaps you could tell me about Easter?"

"Ah! Eas'uh! Amerrican Rerrigious Horriday. Is Autumn. Everybody, dress up funny costume. Walk around, during twilight. Lots of candy. Many people, very happy!"

"Oh, I am sorry, but that, too, is not correct," replied the saddened saint. "My dear Ping, please say what you can about Easter."

"Ah. Eas'uh. Amerrican Rerrigious Horriday," He speaks solemnly, almost in a whisper.

"Jesus. Die on cross for our sins. Jesus buried in tomb. Large boulder. Many people, very sad." Ping raises his index finger. "Three day later, he mirracurrousry rise! He come out of hole in ground. If he see his shadow..."