Website Warning

All models over 18 years of age. No animals were harmed during the production of this web page.  Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or events, past, present or future, is purely coincidental. Some names have been changed to protect the innocent. Batteries not included. If condition persists, consult your physician. Slippery when wet. Contains swearing, violence and mouldy sex. Unsuitable for under-age children and the elderly. Parental guidance advised. Always read the label. No user-serviceable parts inside. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue use. This web page complies with most usless and inappropriate health and safety legislation. Contents are volatile and inflammatory - read in a well-ventilated space. Please remain seated until the web page has come to a complete stop. If ingested, do not induce vomiting. May contain nuts. Not suitable for vegetarians. May be too intense for some viewers. In case of accidental ingestion, seek professional assistance or contact a poison control centre immediately. Products are not authorized for use as critical components in life support devices or systems. Keep away from young children - they may cause suffocation. Objects in rear-view mirror may be behind you and closer than you think. Some self assembly may be required. Driver does not carry cash. No tools stored here overnight. Baby on board. Old person on board. Age and height restrictions may apply. Geriatric driver, please pass. Hot drink - may be hot. Do not alight from moving train. Mind the gap. Risk of electro-locution. Other restrictions may apply. Sarcasm may sometimes be unavoidable. Smelling pisstakes are inevitable and purely intensional.

(c) 1991 A.N. O'Nymus