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Mission Statement
In recent years our people, excluding women and minorities, have faced some of our toughest obstacles — inflation, homelessness, and bigotry. However, despite your shortcomings, I honestly have to say that I am inspired by the courage and conviction that I see on every face I come across. It shows a passion — a resilience — which I hope to continually thrust deep inside all citizens throughout our great country. The task at hand is not an easy one, but it is a road that we must go down. In fact, at this point, I cannot say that what we have right now can even be considered a "road." All we have now is a small, heavily-wooded deer trail, untouched by human hands, deep in the forest of uncertainty. However, with your help, your support, and your donations, we will bulldoze through the brush, rock, and soil together and pave a future for our children and all future generations. As your President, I make an awe-inspiring oath unto you, whatever obstacles come our way, I will always stand for honesty, follow the science, stand up against the pharmaceutical syndicate, believe everyone's individual or shared truths, and defend our republic.
Thomas Johnson | I.M.F 2024
Agriculture
"Food and water are really, really good." My father used that phrase often and his words continue to echo in my head. Unfortunately, in today's agricultural industry, the food we eat is depleted of key vitamins and minerals. The water we drink is tarnished with fluoride and various heavy meals. Something needs to change -- and the time is now. The "Pharm to Table" movement is a collaboration between farmers, big and small, and pharmaceutical companies, big and small, to create food that doesn't just taste great, but also provides the necessary nutrients, medicines, and vaccines in every bite. The movement also takes aim at water treatment facilities and the stigma behind mixing poisonous fluoride into reservoirs and other natural water supplies. We will take control of the semantics and replace the word "fluoride" with "Freshening Agents." It is essentially the same thing as fluoride, but has a name that sounds less intimidating and doesn't have all the negative baggage.
Border Security
Let's face it, the reason America is being infested by third world immigrants is because of it's beauty, freedom, and unlimited potential. And my administration will not stand in their way. I want everyone to be able to support their family and live in comfort. I want to give parents the ability to look their children in the eyes as they are tucking them into bed and know that they are safe and secure. I also understand that having more people will undoubtedly raise taxes, crime, and economic strain. Questions like, where are they going to live and how are they going to be supported are on the tips of everyone's tongue. My two-fold proposal is very simple.
America is not just what we see when we are driving across town, walking through the forest, or out in a fishing boat. It is so much more. It is so much deeper. It is very possible for us to create very livable pods, towns, passageways, and even entire ecospheres roughly one mile underground. These subterranean zones would be sectioned off areas, exclusive to incoming immigrants. We would also make use of our nations myriad of abandoned bunkers and missal silos to house the unwanted intruders. Once more, I plan to draft a new Amendment to our Constitution that would only somewhat limit what our new citizens have access to. This would act as a safeguard against them from attempting to enact changes toward underground living — changes that would eventually produce the same sort of country that they fled in the first place.
Did you know that Antarctica is almost 75% larger than the continental United States? I plan to revitalize the concept of Manifest Destiny and lay American ownership over this largely unclaimed and uninhabited continent. Once maintained, America would be the largest country on earth with the largest oil reserve on earth. More oil means more jobs, more prosperity, and a better overall quality of life. Now imagine you are an unwanted immigrant trying to sneak into America and suckle on our milky teats. You are bruised, battered, and scared. You have no money. You have no job. And your family needs you to provide. Then you get an offer. Your offer is for a good paying job with health benefits, vacation pay, and a matching 401k plan. Once more, you get to stay and live in the United States of America, the country you fought so hard to get to. Sounds like a good deal? That is exactly what my plan proposes. If immigrants don't want to live underground, they can move to the newly annexed portion of America, (formerly the Antarctic continent,) and chase the American dream.
Economy
When it comes to the current economy, there are really only two sides of the same coin — you either give all of your money to the government or you give all your money to a corporation. In either case, the average American is getting fleeced of their hard earned paycheck. But what if there was another solution, a third side to the coin? A side where you can keep your paycheck without traversing the ongoing corporate rate hikes or the government's constant infantilization, telling you what they think you need and where your money should go. As many people know, my family's bloodline has been incredibly fortunate and has bestowed onto me a substantial amount of their generational wealth. (Keep in mind, our family no longer practices slavery or human trafficking.) And despite how we earned our money, it is my promise to grant unlimited access to this prosperity. With nearly $900 billion in liquid assets, this bank will become a community fund for every single American. No more homelessness. No more food insecurity. If an American needs money, they come to me. My only contingency is that the receiving party pledge allegiance to the greatest county on earth, the United States of America and take the brief Core Duplet (i.e., survey) created by Awake Global².
Energy
Our Nation needs an all-inclusive strategy to transition to cleaner, greener energy. However, the current alternatives, (wind, solar, tidal, geothermal,) are totally inadequate for sustaining our way of life. We need to take a drastic shift toward nuclear energy. I am standing up against the over-inflated fears of Three Mile Island and Fukushima. We cannot let a little radiation poisoning deter us from becoming the world leader in low-carbon energy production.
Gun Control
I believe the Second Amendment shall not be infringed upon. As Americans, we don't just have the God-given right to possess firearms, but also purchase, sell, manufacture, or distribute firearms to anyone we want. However, I am going to take this inalienable right one step further. I believe the barrier to obtain firearms should be totally dismantled. I want all Americans to be able to walk into their local corner store and buy the firearm and ammunition of their choosing. Once more, I believe that neither age nor mental capacity nor prior felony, including violent crimes, should prevent anyone access to weaponry. Doing anything else would be a gross misinterpretation of our Articles of Confederation and what our country was built upon.
LGBTQAAIPZN+
There is a lot that can be said about the LGBTQAAIPZN+ (Lesbian, Gay, Transvestite/Transsexual, Queer, Allies, Asexual, Pansexual, Zoophile, Necrophile, and Other) movement. And because I believe the First Amendment is paramount to our nation's success, I make no qualms when I say that consenting adults are free to express themselves as they want, as long as they are not interfering with anyone else's freedoms. If that means you, as an adult, want to cut off parts of your body and sew them onto other parts of your body, you are free to do so. However, this freedom goes both ways. It also means that others can say, believe, and express themselves in anyway they want. Remember, the First Amendment dictates that there is no such thing as "hate speech," (with exception the already illegal calls for violence, slander, or libel.) Your feelings may get hurt, but that does not trump someone's right to say it. And It is on this cornerstone of freedom that I plan to build a reinvigorated sense of expression and imagination. I will dismantle the FCC and other watchdog organizations to ensure we are all free of intimidation and possible backlash.
Running tangential to this subject, I will also require all legal documents to have a person's chromosomes identified. If a person has a "Y" chromosome, they will be legally categorized with other humans carrying a "Y" chromosome. We will call this group "Male." If a person does not have a "Y" chromosome, they will be legally categorized with other humans who do not have a "Y" chromosome. We will call this group Female. This legal categorization cannot and shall not be changed, even if an adult where to change their perceived sexual identity; however, for a fee, an adult can add an additional line to their driver's license or state-issued ID card which could display what they prefer. This line will be printed in a smaller font and be prefixed with the logical negation symbol (¬) meaning that their preferred sex/gender doesn't actually mean anything.
Women's' Reproductive Systems
I believe our Nation is only as strong as our weakest, most inept citizens. It is why I am not only amused by and admire our women, but I also actively advocate for women's issues and their overall reproductive rights. I believe in the right for a woman to choose what she does with her body and the body of whatever is growing inside her uterus. I won't stand on the sidelines while the other political parties force women to give birth to children they obviously do not want. Did you know that one out of every three women has been sexually assaulted or sexually harassed during her life? I know this because my wife is a survivor of multiple rapes and nearly eight terminated pregnancies. Don't let the choice to heal be stripped away from women. Because who knows — your wife, your daughter, your mother could be next.
"Many of my opponents have been saying that I have a checkered past. The thing they do not understand is that my personal history is more akin to chess - complicated and filled with expendable pawns, toppled bishops, and long, frustrating periods of quiet calculation."
Tom Johnson speaking at the 2009 Freshman Orientation | University of Northern Iowa at Camp Kremowac
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