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Best Facebook Status Updates:
If I were any more single, I'd be a fraction. :)
Bigamy: One wife too many. Monogamy: Same thing.
Why don't you understand me like my iPhone does????
Keyboard, A device for entering mistakes into a computer.
Some men inherit money, some earn it, and some are lawyers.
If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
Losing a husband can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
Me and Jenny goes together like peas and carrots. ~ Forrest Gump
You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.
I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away but if the doctor is beautiful throw the apple away!
World Population Rank: 1. China 2. India 3. Facebook 4. USA 5. MySpace 6. Indonesia 7. Brazil 8. Twitter
You have the voice of an angel. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus. ~ StepBrothers
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
This dog is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.