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How motivated are you?

Some mornings, it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Emo Philips.

1. Why did you become an ELT teacher?

  1. It enables me to experience different cultures.
  2. I love teaching.
  3. I can’t remember.
  4. I had to go abroad in a hurry.

2. How do you feel about teaching teenagers?

  1. They are challenging to teach.
  2. They are challenging and great fun to teach.
  3. I am not very keen on them.
  4. They are loathsome little sods.

3. How long do you spend preparing a class?

  1. Not more than 30 minutes.
  2. However long it takes.
  3. As long as it takes to find the book and cue the tape.
  4. Doing what?

4. What is your definition of a good teacher?

  1. One who can explain the present perfect.
  2. One who takes an interest in individual students.
  3. One who keeps the students happy.
  4. One who turns up to lessons.

5. What do you do about “slow” students?

  1. Give them extra homework.
  2. Give them special attention and praise.
  3. Regretfully leave them behind.
  4. Make fun of them in class.

6. What do you think of homework?

  1. It is up to them whether they do it or not.
  2. It extends the learning process outside the classroom.
  3. I set it occasionally.
  4. More bleeding work for the teacher.

7. How do you feel about being observed?

  1. Nervous, but it is part of the job.
  2. Great—it is a fresh eye on my teaching.
  3. The DOS will not sack me, whatever he thinks.
  4. Uh-oh.

8. What is the ideal percentage for Teacher Talking Time?

  1. Realistically, around 25%.
  2. Maximum 10%.
  3. 75%
  4. 0%

9. How do you feel about teachers’ meetings?

  1. They enable us to sort out problems.
  2. A welcome opportunity to share ideas with colleagues.
  3. I don’t turn up unless I have to.
  4. Zzzz.

10. What do you think you will be in 5 years’ time?

  1. Maybe a director of studies.
  2. A teacher, of course!
  3. I will have got out of ELT by then.
  4. Unhinged.


For each question, score your answer as follows:

a: 2 points
b: 3 points
c: 1 point
d: 0 points

Total score

0-7: You are crap. You should not be working in a responsible profession like teaching. Presumably you got your job through brass-faced lying or blackmail. You are exactly the sort of person this website is for.

8-15: You're a typical, useless teacher, getting by with the minimum of effort at all times. The DOS probably won't sack you, even though he should, because you are not quite bad enough for him to risk hiring a replacement.

16-24: You are a reliable teacher, turning out a series of adequate lessons year in year out. You're not going to set the world on fire, but the DOS knows he can depend on you for emergency cover and to be pleasant to parents at the Christmas party. Whether this should eventually drive you to suicide is, of course, your choice.

24-30: You are a highly motivated teacher and a credit to the profession. You are also a lying toad. Do the test again and don't cheat this time.