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In her great tradition of fantastic contests Anikka laid down a challenge to all Sleuths “show me what YOU think it would look like if Seuss went Noir”.

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Stooby, a self confessed newbie to the world of Sleuth created his story and liked writing it so much he gave a bash at re-writing it as more of a Dr. Seuss feel poem.  This is his effort.

How The Grinch Stole Christmas

Everyone                                                      
Down in Hooverville
Liked Christmas a lot...

But Edward Grinch,
Who lived in the North of Hooverville
Did NOT!

Known by those who avoided him most as the Grinch. 
He stood glaring at the snow falling with a wince.
His feet were pinched terribly by shoes several sizes to small,
They and his coat had been stolen from a man not so tall.
The bitter cold bit through his clothes and froze his heart,
He stood loathing all of Central Park.

The Grinch heard carols being sung all around Hooverville,
“Christmas Eve.” growled the Grinch and spat on the hill. 
Those who knew him and stayed out of his way,
Knew that the Grinch hated Christmas day.
No-one knew why and he would not say. 
But the spirit and cheer never came his way.

Edward knew that very soon everyone would be in their beds. 
They’d be tucked up tightly, dreams spinning in their heads,
Of Christmas Day, warmth, love and cheer.
The perfect chance for a thief to sneak in without any fear.
Without any regrets, worries or concerns he’d help himself,
To the silver, food and presents and all on the shelves. 

The Grinch set off to one of the smarter areas of town,
Several empty bags held under one arm. 
He took with him a young lad called Max,
He would be his lookout and would guard the sacks.

Things were going well! Several houses behind.
One bag already full with stolen loot of the kind,
He knew he could use, eat or sell.
This Christmas Eve was going so well.
He’d found several cakes and cooked hams. 
These he’d eaten, all he could cram.

Now as he squeezed through the next window,
The Grinch wished he hadn’t eaten so well. 
His stomach was full and he knew he was stuck. 
With a whispered cry he called and prayed for luck.
Max gave a great big heave and a push,
The Grinch fell inside whispering “shush”

Standing up the Grinch rubbed his eyes,
The hallway brighter than the dark outside. 
He quickly took the bag Max held out,
And hurrying to the sideboard suppressed a shout. 
Two candle sticks of silver, a crystal vase… oops less haste!
And a full cutlery set displayed tantalisingly in its case.

Pushing these into his bag the Grinch hurried quickly to go,
Handing the swag to Max he took one more look, you never know. 
He could not resist taking a full bottle of brandy from a bar. 
Now as he turned to leave a noise told him he’d pushed it to far.

Fearing the worst he pulled a revolver from his coat,
As he spun and fired, a desperate cry tore from his throat.


Even on Christmas Day,
The Sleuth
Was there to be hired.

To catch a killer,
See him hang,
He who the shot had fired.

The Sleuth stood and looked at the scene of the crime,
The tiny young victim, soon to be a chalk outline. 
Her mother sobbing, held tightly by her husband dear,
Their son trembling in the arms of his nanny stood near.
His sister, Cindy-Lou could have been no older than 6. 
Now should would spend her final Christmas,
Spent stretched on the wooden floor.
Cindy-Lou would age no more.

The time it took for the Sleuth to see was brief,
That Cindy-Lou must have disturbed a thief. 
Her grieving father had told him several items were gone,
Silver candlesticks, cutlery, a vase, the list was long.
The gunshot had woken them all,
Then the crash of the tree, a trip and a fall.

The clues were everywhere to see,
A scrap of coat caught on the tree,
Footprints in the settled snow outside,
Shoes clearly the wrong size.   
There was even an abandoned bag,
Left on the lawn and full of swag.

As he was leaving a police car arrived,
He left after directing them inside.
Then off to see Thaddeus the tailor,
To get him to work he promised a favour.

Thaddeus confirmed what the Sleuth had thought,
The scrap of coat matched another he had brought,
From a small homeless man someone had chosen to kill,
His body found towards the north of Hooverville.
His shoes and coat had been took,
The Sleuth knew to thank his luck.

With a thanks to Thaddeus the Sleuth went,
To Hooverville.  Past ramshackled houses and tents. 
Then he spotted a man limping in flight,
His coat to small, his shoes to tight. 
The Sleuth followed him out of sight,
Entering a shed, door closed against the light.

Standing outside the Sleuth looked around,
In wonder as the snow fell to the ground.
Voices were clearly heard singing Christmas songs,
But from within the shed a voice bemoaned all his wrongs,
“Why Max?  Why’d she ave ta come down like that. 
I didn’t mean ta do it Max. Not that.” 

The voice of a young lad could be heard to say,
 “What we gona do bout it Grinch?  Ey?”
The first voice replied “It’s Christmas Day,
Lets eat what we got and try ta forget bout it I say.
Maybe er family’ll give us a break,
Forgive us, it’s Christmas for Eaven’s sake.”

With that the Sleuth knew that he’d heard enough. 
He pulled out his revolver and kicked the door rough.
As it burst wide open he levelled his gun,
At the Grinch who knew he had nowhere to run.
“Go ahead Grinch, reach for your piece,
And I’ll gun you down like a beast.”
 
And what happened then...?
Well...in Hooverville they say,
That the Grinch's cold heart,
Beat only 3 more times that day!
He reached for his gun and held it tight,
The Sleuth took aim in the bright morning light.
A gun rang out and the Grinch fell amongst his feast!
And he...

...HE HIMSELF...!
The Grinch was carved up like a roast beast!


Later on those in Hooverville say, much later that day,
After watching the police lead young Max away,
The Sleuth returned to tell Cindy-Lou’s family what he had found. 
And after many tears and weeping they all gathered around,
In the Cathedral for a ceremony unlike any the say,
Ever seen before or after on Christmas Day. 
And then all who were there bowed their heads to pray,
To the angels, asking them to guide one young soul their way.

And later having written up his notes the Sleuth filed away,
The Tragic Case of How The Grinch Stole Christmas Day.

 

Writen by  Stooby.

And now read the all new sequel to How the Grinch Stole Christmas with Stooby’s retelling of It’s Grinch Night.