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Anonymous 2c

2016-03-26 INTRO HCD

Interviewer:  Christel
Interviewee 4:  Anonymous Filled Questionnaire-FB The Universal Empath 101(International)
Name 1: Christel
Text below:

  1. What is your definition of empathy?

  • The ability to put oneself in another's shoes by either imaging how it would feel, or experiencing it with another.

  1. How does self-empathy enrich your life?

I am aware of lies
I can pick up on how my kids are doing
I can pick up on how other people are feeling and come up with effective strategies when working with them

3.  What might be the results if we do not have an empathetic approach?

  • Imagine how we would feel, what we would want, what we would ask for in a situation before charging forward.

4.  Were you born with empathy (it has always come naturally to you) or did you receive training? If training, what kind?

  • No training. Didn't realize what it was until I was an adult.

  • Always thought I bore the title over-emotional.

5. What tools or skills do you think are needed for someone to be empathetic?

  • Quietness of mind

  • Trust in feelings

  • A belief it can happen.

6. When you have been faced with an extremely unhappy person, how did you use empathy to bring them out of the unhappiness?

  • Listening helps

  • Assurance that there is no judgement.

  • Letting somebody "off the hook" often calms people down (i.e. "that seems like a logical reaction" or "I don't think I would handle that any better").

7.  Describe an early experience of understanding empathy?

  • My father was in a rage, so I became enraged...but also I picked up on how powerful he felt being larger and louder than everyone else. I suddenly realized he was out of control and I was in control. He was yelling at my brother and I suddenly felt really brave. I stepped in front of my brother and said calmly to my dad "hit me". It wasn't a sacrificial suggestion, it was me stating what he knew himself - he was a bully. It was so clear to me. I was 6.

8.  What motivates you to learn about empathy?

  • The need to protect myself.

  • It has gotten confusing over the years as I started my own family. I have a hard time knowing if what I am feeling is mine or my kids or husband's.

  • Sharing space is very exhausting.

  • I also saw my daughter's "super power" at a very early age and wanted to help her feel more comfortable with it than I did.

9.  How is empathy demonstrated in gestures and bodily language?

  • Hmmm.....not often for me. However, when a friend was really nauseous on a plane ride, I instinctively put my hand on her leg and between her shoulder blades. When we landed, she told me it felt grounding and calming. I just knew to do it and didn't realize I actually had until she commented on it

10. How could understanding empathy improve your relationships?

  • My husband would maybe be better at carrying his own emotional load!! For years, I just did it because I was good at it. A marriage counsellor told me I had created an emotional infant. In other words, I was tired of doing it, and wanted him to step up, but his skills were rusty and I was changing the rules because I always did it for him.

  • It is a powerful sense, but now that I am more aware when I am doing it, I can back off and let people have their experiences. Don't know if that made sense....

11. Are you aware of your emotions to the point you acknowledge them and don't feel held by them? Please describe:

  • Nope.

12. What keeps people from being empathic? What are sources of resistance?

  • Being emotionally shut down from trauma, which is understandable.

  • Also, I think it is like any other sense, some are sharper than others, and some are really weak.

  • It isn't easy to do for some people, and it took me a long time to realize that.

13. How do you believe empathy could improve humanity’s global connection?

  • Because pain is universal and we universally avoid pain.

  • If we all felt it, we'd all work harder to not inflict it.

14. What are the unspoken things that made you realize what others felt in certain situations?

  • I suppose it is general body language, although a lot of the time I feel something then look for clues.

  • It is really confusing when I feel something that doesn't seem to go with the body language.

15. There is a lot of fear around the world towards terrorist acts, how could empathy potentially solve this?

  • Because fear makes it worse and more likely to happen.

  • Compassion for one's enemies is the best diffuser.

  • There will always be damaged people who cannot feel anything for another human being. They aren't as prevalent as we are lead to believe.

16. Tell me about a time when you experienced a lack of empathy in a work situation?

  • n/a

17. How can we teach others about empathy without them knowing it?

  • n/a

18. How are empathy, sympathy, apathy and compassion different?

  • n/a

19. What would you most like to learn about empathy?

  • How to turn it on and off.

20. Why is empathy so important to humanity?

  • Because none of us are truly free until we all are.

  • We cannot be free when we prioritize humans over other humans, or other animals for that matter.