Every Night I Lie Awake


 I also like fritos and mountain dew.


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HOLY SMOKES, THIS PAGE ENDED UP W/ A PRODIGIOUS AMOUNT OF TEXT.  I BLAME INSOMNIA AND SORT OF WISH I HAD STAYED AT WORK.

MY MIND IS AWAKE WHILE MY BODY IS JUST BARELY FUNCTIONAL, THOUGH. WHERE ARE ABE LINCOLN AND THE SLEEP BEAVER?

IT MAY BEHOOVE YOU TO JUST SCROLL DOWN.

(NO ONE IS WATCHING, GO AHEAD, I WON'T NOTICE.)

IN FACT, I'LL MAKE IT EASY FOR YOU TO IGNORE MY MOMENTARY INSANITY. YOU CAN FILL IN THE BLANKS AT THE FOOTER. 

  

...Jonathan Coulton

..."The Areas of My Expertise"

...It is phenomenal.

...an article in the NYTMagazine

...

 

Brevity is the soul of wit.

 

WARNING: May cause sea-sickness.  Not intentionally hypnotic.  If you do find yourself hypnotized and you sleepbake a menacing black cake, do take a picture of it and send it to me.



Anyhow, the point is: Coulton music is pretty great.

The aforementioned audiobook is awesometastic.

Uh....and the video is sort of...interesting. Kinda sorta.


(What used to be on the top but has been transferred to the bottom  to diminish it) 

 According to my playlist, I first stumbled upon Jonathan Coulton back in...June of 2006. And there was some music amusement and lots of listening and then this song was listened to over 100 times. And when things hit the high rep counts I disable them so I force myself to listen to the 30-some days worth of audio that I have somehow amassed. So there was a lapse in the listening to JoCo.

Seemingly unrelatedly (but obviously not,) in September 2006, on "This American Life" they play an excerpt of John Hodgman's "The Areas of My Expertise" It was act 3, about 48 minutes in, about the Mall of America. It is phenomenal. He had me at Dave's Insanity Sauce. As my old friend GRW said, "of all the humans who are vaguely aware of your existence, i would say a majority of them know you because of Dave's Insanity Sauce, simply through my story telling." This assertion is wrong, I hope, and if that is how you know of me, I should assure you, GRW is full of lies. I should also note that I am not actually classy enough to listen to This American Life. I don't commute by car (or at least did not at this point) and haven't listened to proper radio in...years. However every once in a while a colleague will point me toward such classy things and...streaming internet audio.

So, back to Hodgman, I fall in love. Tragically, like my love for science and Clint Eastwood, it must and will remain unconsummated in every practical sense. But, no matter; I bookmark the page and it slides into a list of some n-hundred bookmarks and is lost in the shuffle. Tragic. Then, according to my RSS reader, on December 19th, The Areas of My Expertise is available free at the iTunes music store. My favorite price! It remains the only time I've ever downloaded something from the iTunes music store. I'm also terrified of the "on demand" channel on my television. I have since listened to the full book (literally over a hundred now, 52 at the original date of posting) times (technically it is on a playlist with Supertramp's Breakfast in America because those 4 tracks come up when I have typed in "hodg"). The book is just shy of 7 hours long. It even features Paul Rudd, another nary to be consummated affair.

Oh man. I should note that many of these listens have occurred as I lay dreaming--I can't quite deal with music when I sleep as well as I can deal with spoken words, so The Areas of My Expertise actually took the place of the 6.5 hours of Dennis Miller Rants, 5.8 hours of Eddie Izzard routines, and smattering of other comedic monologues that I can probably actually talk through due to my excellent sleep-retention of information. They're like bedtime stories. I actually have to be careful of this because quotations of things I have heard enough times while not quite awake can unwittingly end up replacing original thought, like on Saturday when I was mischarged for 50 packages of ramen noodles (it was a rough day and I decided to do some grocery shopping at the corner store) and in my argument with Julio the checkout boy (who I did not check out) I said, "no, YOU'RE holding up the line." No one else noticed my guilt of misappropriation. Dangerous.

So..it was only at this point (end of 06/beginning of 07) that I realize Jonathan Coulton of previously visited crushing awesomeness is Jonathan Coulton, Colchester Kid; troubadour, valet, personal bodyguard, chef and acquaintance of Hodg-man. (You can only imagine my excitement if you recognize that I really dig it when everything comes together like that; like when I found out that Hodg-man wrote an article in the NYTMagazine on the reimagined Battlestar Galactica and was/is friendly with Ron Moore, who lives across town from me. Arguably I was more excited about that connection before "All Along the Watchtower" started playing on the Galactica, but that is a different issue altogether. It's like that scene at the end of "The Usual Suspects", though--I love it!) Suffice it to say that the overall level of excitement was such that I think it was my main topic of conversation for a few days.

So around that time (and I am capable of starting thoughts without the "so", but...if it bothers you, there's no point in reading this anyhow, scroll back up to the images) I suddenly have a vision. And that vision is this video. And...basically there are a few things I would change about it if I had a better knowledge about how my computer was dealing with image files...but for all intents and purposes this is how it is in my head. In reality it zooms instead of pans. However I put off making this video for 3 months. Because I am busy with things, it gets done piecemeal while I'm not working, sleeping, nor watching tv (because I don't particularly like watching tv with others, if I come home and my housemates are watching tv I go elsewhere to do other things that I can't do while watching tv.) And in that time it flits in and out of potentially being made or finished because the only reminder I left of the overarching goal was a stickynote that drowned in the sea of post-it that is my desktop.

So finally, around the middle of March, I'm pulling longish shifts in front of the instrument and have gotten down to the part of the playlist where songs go to hangout when disabled. And I have forgotten where on the web the Coulton lives. And looking it up, I find out that certainly I haven't even been exposed to his most popular tracks. Code monkey? My brother is a codemonkey! The ridiculousness. It's like knowing Gary Glitter but not for "Rock n' Roll (part 2)".

(I'm not drawing any parallels between Gary Glitter's personal reasons for notoriety and Coulton. No no. Just the modestly well known musical aspects that are potentially not manifest.) Anyhow I had a pressing deadline and consequently had to finish this or it would sidetrack me evermore. I make both "to do" and "to not do" lists. But by doing something on my "to-not-do" list, it's one less thing to avoid. Surely you can see the logic.